My top lesson was realizing that I am a stubborn person, and that I was wrong to keep trying to implement unimplemented features past a deadline and that I need to understand when to give up. I also learned that I can't trust others to finish their part of something I start. There is nothing like seeing the entire backend you wrote be gutted by someone else because they "needed to learn how route handlers work by creating it themselves" and then seeing them not complete said route handlers.

After paying 3 years in advance to my host, some emails of the owner of a project I work with (very small thing, but still..) began to disappear. She doesn't receive the messages and neither the person who sends receives a error message. I've contacted them but no one could found out what is happening.

In this meantime, I had to change the PHP version (there is a version control in their cPanel). Just after changing, Mysqli and PDO stopped working. It took about 4 to 5 days for them to fixed it (shared host).

Back to today, I needed to send and receive lots of emails of this project. As we are losing tons of legitimates mails, we started to cc our personal emails to avoid misscomunication (deadlines are very important). Of course, exactly today, Microsoft's​ mail stopped accepting any emails of our host IP, as it appears someone has an Trojan hosted there. Of course, except me, everyone else personal email address are Outlook.com.

I got contacted by an other company and I am so unsure whether to accept their offer or stay at my current job.

For now I spend 2 years at my current company. The culture is great and everyone gets treated very well.
The bad part is, that it is located in a part of Germany I really can't stand and to this day fully remote is not an option.

Additionally lots of stuff is really frustrating in my daily work, e.g. colleagues that experiment with critical parts if our infrastructure, resulting in every developer who made the mistake to update the local development stack being unable to work for half a day or so.

This and the fact, that our techstack sucks hard. (mostly bad php for backend and server-rendered HTML and a weird mix of Typescript, Javascript, Vue and some old bits of deprecated angular for frontend). This company has it's own product (a web platform) and no real deadlines in the sense of "something bad happens, when your team won't achieve the project in the originally proposed time"

Company number two seems to work with a wide variety of technologies for very different projects (it's a consulting compan), would pay me ~28% more than my currently raised pay and allows for full remote.

When I try to look objectively on the facts everything points to accepting their offer, but on the other hand there is this weird feeling of this being a joice that would come to soon...

How do you make such decisions? I already talked to a great colleague of mine, who thinks it might not be a bad idea to stay at the company for an additional year or 2, because I haven't yet reached the point where there is not enough to learn here anymore, which I agree on, but this company seems to offer everything I want.

I feel overwhelmed with this situation :D that's why I would like to know how you people try to tackle such a situation

Ive gotten pretty good at web dev that most projects seem easy so i just tell myself i could probably finish the whole thing over next weekend if i spent the entire day coding.

I end up procrastinating my way till last minute, sometimes screw over deadlines, i just cant get myself to want to work on it. and i keep accepting projects for the money and throw myself in this guilt tripping loop every time.

what can i do to get myself to work on freelancing? (in my actual full time job im very productive coz mostly the project i work on is my passion but freelance is just too much of a drag!)