I've been working on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work--

**Sorry. I should rephrase that**

I've been *trying* to work on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work.

It's slightly complicated because I'm not as "in the know" with the project as I should be. I get tossed around projects a lot as the only designer+developer so I've got my hands in a lot of buckets... Or git repos I should say... My source tree has a lot of tabs open and each project is run by someone with their own ideologies on how stuff should be done and laid out and what not. Basically jumping between these projects leaves you mildly capable on all of them but not amazing at any of individual one them--

--I digress.

There's a bug I've been trying to fix.
--Stupid simple bug, literally just a casting issue or something but there's so much data in this one object that it's taking a few solid minutes of concentration to figure out which variable is busting it all up. It shouldn't take long to fix...

But it has. It has taken 4 days.

FOUR. DAYS.

...To fix what is basically a null reference exception.

Every time I sit down to work on this bug real quick I get pulled away to do a wireframe or change a flow chart or diagram or colour or print styling.

Every. God. Damn. Time.
4 days. Soon to be 5.

My commits are real low at this point guys.

Please boss man, just let me code...

Be me
>programming since I got up
>don't have much time to program because job sucks up all my time
>dont know the best solution to a problem so decide to take a small break
>open rocket league
>start 1v1 match
>4 minutes later
>dad walks in my room, demanding I go pretend to be a stone age nibba
>pic related
>wants me to dig some dirt for his crops
>wants me to carry multiple buckets of water
>wants me to plow literally fields
>no.jpg
>thisIsRealLifeNotMinecraft.wav
>tells me that I'm addicted
>tells me that he's getting rid of the Internet again
>fuckyou.png

Only my girlfriend and programming bring me joy and you reduce my capacity to interact with both. Fuck you.

Historically, in operating rooms, surgeons would discard biomedical waste in buckets. When a patient died on the operating table, the lead surgeon would get so upset that he would "kick the bucket", which is now a term for when someone dies.

That's a fake fact, just like "Java runs on 4 billion devices"

Damn, how have I only just discovered localstack?

The ability to spin up and use SQS queues, S3 buckets, lambdas, Kinesis streams etc. for development without worrying about bankrupting myself if I screw something up is really quite liberating.

I prefer ByteBucket rather than BitBucket.

^^

So at the old job, i needed support for an issue relating to Amazon S3. We used a third party Python plugin for sending files to our buckets, but had some pretty severe performance issues when trying a 2-way sync.
Naturally, I sought help on StackOverflow, and was asked to share my config. Without much thought, I pasted the config file.
Next comment made me aware that our API id and key was listed in this config (pretty rediculous to keep such private info in the same file as configuration, but oh well).
I edited my question and removed the keys, and did not think about the fact that revisions are stored.

Two weeks later, my boss asks me if I know why the Amazon bill is for 25.000$ when it used to be <100$ 😳

I've never been so scared in my life. Luckily, Amazon was nice enough to waive the entire fee, and I leaned a little about protecting vital information

3 weeks into a new job I learned that my predecessor (who resigned and was out the door two days after I started) didn’t know how to secure s3 buckets when all of our production image assets got replaced with elder porn.

Jury’s still out if it was actually him the whole time.

I had a phone interview with a small startup for a Web Development role. I was fairly confident that I would pull through most of the technical questions that would come my way.

They instead asked me a stupid optimization problem involving some buckets, pigs and poison. I answered it, told them to fuck off and ask me something relevant.

Except that I didn't. I fumbled to find a half decent answer to it and they were unimpressed. The worst part was that I could think of a dozen better answers after the call was over.

Doesn't seem particularly fair for people to judge you by such abstract questions rather than evaluating skills directly relevant to your job.

I work on many projects at work. There's divisions of teams and each team typically has one project. Each one of those projects have weekly Sprint meetings.

That's great! For the team. That means each team has one meeting a week so it's not too disruptive for those individuals.

Me on the other hand? I've got my hand in all the buckets. I'm on every team. I'm the only person on every team. This means I get to go to every meeting.

Let me rephrase that:
This means I -have- to go to every. Single. Meeting.

Which means I have a meeting every. Single. Day. Even if I didn't touch that project that week.

It is literally THE biggest waste of time. I sit there in a 1-2 hour long meeting saying absolutely nothing, not even being spoken to. I could be working on other projects.

And these meetings normally interrupt something I'm working on. Conveniently in the middle of me being in my zone. It makes me completely un-motivated to work for the hour before the meeting because why bother if I'm just going to get interrupted? And then it takes an hour to get back into everything after the meeting because everyone is fooling around or complaining about the meeting.

So that's three hours of my 8 hour work day completely wasted.

I am SO FUCKING SICK of having .Net runtime arguments. Change the fucking targeted framework. Because it isn't us driving the fucking change. It's the gods damned contractor that you gods damned make us interface with that you won't gods damned rein in. You are going to have to fucking do it anyway you blithering, gibbering suck buckets.

Roof is leaking... Due to rainy stormy weather here, I have now 3 buckets in my flat for catching the water.

Next thing that broke was the faucet in the kitchen... Whoever installed the kitchen (inherited from previous tenant) was a fricking fuck nugget. Not only are most important parts like the stove unbalanced (cooking is very fun...) - but most things were wrongly installed.

The rubber band under the faucet was a few mm larger than the faucet itself... Stretched out as someone really tightened the screws... Too tight. Friction tore the rubber band on one side. Note that the faucet is one of the large, pompous ones which weigh a fuckton. So the fucking faucet now - as the rubber band tore - turned into a sprinkler as the faucet moves due to water pressure.

Ok. Faucet out, new faucet in. Shouldn't be that hard.

Wait. Wtf?

Turns out they didn't use a milling head... The hole is a cone, top larger - then getting smaller.

Ok. No problem.

Let's do some drill action.

Uhm. Why is the place to the window wet... Oh. Great. Another leak.

*some mopping action*

Back to the kitchen. Realizing I didn't fully close the valve for water -.

Kitchen cabinet, next mopping action.

Water with saw dust is pretty ugly combination -.-

Aka: My relaxing Saturday became a full blown """Fuck you with an anchor""" day instead. Thanks universe. Love you hon. Please, next time put at least some lube on the anchor, entry is quite painful.

The fires in australia killed something like half a billion animals, and it's kind of sad, all that potential barbecue going to waste.

We have the means to solve this. With KNAWWWWLEDGE.

What we do is hook up buckets to a bunch of big ass drones and have some sort of contest to see who can put out the most acreage of fire. People will come from all over for the annual "australian fire olympics."

Shit, put a $1 million dollar bounty on "most acreage put out" stream it on twitch, youtube, netflix, you name it.

Fires would be out in a day or three.

You know what's better than a Bucket Object that wraps an arraylist?

A BucketBucket Object which wraps an array of buckets which each wraps an ArrayList.

FML

Don't understand file perms?
No prob...just sudo chmod -R 0777 /
and don't forget to make all your S3 buckets public!

Say I have 10 iPhones in a red bucket, and 10 Galaxy Notes in a blue bucket.

Now, I throw both buckets in the air with excessive force at the same time, and put the buckets on the ground next to each other before any phones start their decent.

How many phones land in the blue bucket?

Why the fuck is everyone behind this whole privacy thing . I mean what did you expect , servers do cost... you know . No one wants to provide you a service to chat with your shit collecting butler in the adjacent room unless it's going to benefit them .

Stick your face on the internet and want people to date you ?

Understand that your virtual social needs need to be supported by a ridiculous amount of electricity and man power which wouldn't be required if you could just throw out your rotting willie nilles in the open .

All this isn't fucking free .. wait were you shocked ? Oh so you just thought there were a few thousand servers powering buckets of pictures of horse poop that you for some reason thought your girlfriend was interested in . NO!

IT'S PRIVACY you are paying with your gaddamn privacy !! Information pays just like the time you paid a 100 bucks to the boyfriend of your girlfriend to find out more details .

Ridiculous . You people don't like ads . You don't like paying . You don't like providing information . THEN DON'T USE THE DAMN INTERNET .

IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY THEN SPEND SOME VALUABLE TIME TO ACQUIRE ENOUGH OF A SKILLSET TO SETUP A VPN AND STOP POSTING YOUR PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR EX'S WALL ASKING HER TO CALL YOU.

One more honest thing to rant about is ads . As much as you hate them they're an easy way out . I'm not sure why a 20 second ad would bother you on mobile and not on television and I'm not sure why you wouldn't buy the ad company and shut it down if 20 seconds were so costly to you .

I want to rant even more on uninstalling services like Windows and Google for stupid reasons but I'll take a break here . My frustration has touched low levels.

As a dev, I have to reuse a lot of codes again and again. Some I've written, and some of them I found after stucking my head for 1 hour on StackOverflow.

Now, the problem is every time I need the code, I have to search again. Some of them I saved in note apps but organizing code snippets & finding them with a quick search is a mess.

I was thinking of building a code snippet organizer where developers can save code snippets in any language (have syntax highlighting), search quickly, share with anyone, create buckets, manage multiple accounts etc.

Let me know if it's a good idea or not. Would you be interested in using something like this? Is this even a real problem or it's just me?

It's nice to have some buckets of beer after long hours of coding with my teammates 😬

are these fucking people MAD????

(cant attach images because I SHITTED on devrant so much that my shit has clogged devrants s3 buckets full of bullshit so ill explain the image: full stack position, that asks as requirements frontend development in nextjs, backend engineering in nodejs, and DevOps engineering in cloud using kafka kubernetes and others, named as FULL STACK POSITION)

MOTHERFUCKERS IF I COULD DO ALL OF THOSE PERFECTLY ON MY OWN WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE LOOKING FOR A JOB???? I CAN JUST BUILD MY OWN BILLION DOLLAR SOFTWARE BRO. FFFCKKK UUU

AWS Contractor

I've been putting a web application together that I'm looking to have published on AWS. Not having too much experience with AWS, I am looking to hire a contractor. I've had a number of quotes from different AWS admin's ranging from $40 an hour to $200 an hour, from 1-days worth of work to 2-months worth of work!

I'm not really sure what to make of it or to whom to trust. I believe they’re using my ignorance to overcharge me. I've listed my requirements below, could you guys use your professional experiences to let me know what you think is reasonable charge and where best I could find someone to help me.

My application is a US shopping website where people can set up an online shop and upload their products and maintain an inventory of the items.

This is what I’m looking for setup and configuration with the following two areas:

1) AWS SYSTEMS…

* AIM - Set up my server admin users.

* EC2 - Web Hosting.

* RDS - Fast DB.

* SES - To send emails.

* S3 Buckets - Uploaded image hosting.

Route 53 - I don’t know but someone said I should have this.

* Elastic Load Balancing - For, well, load balancing.

2) SCRIPTS…

* A script that would back up the database once a day and save it to a private S3 Bucket.

* A script that will run once a day that calls an internal API, and POST a query to it.

* A script that runs once every 90 days, to refresh the SSL using ZeroSSL.com

Is there anything that I've missed such as security systems, firewalls, auto scaling and CDNs?

The quotes that I've received arranged from $320 to $64,000. I know I am being abused because of my ignorance. I would never overcharge someone because the customer doesn't know the efforts of the work. I hope someone here can help to understand the efforts needed and can tell me the true cost.

Thank you

So I have purchased the domain studioentropy.com. It's taken me all afternoon but I've set up and configured aws s3 buckets and route 53 zone an entries and my shite asse site is now online, hooray... My question is with regards to https. Given that ny site is really only going to be a single page site with relatively static content, no eccomerce of any kind, no passing of sensative information is required, is it really worth going through the pain of configuring cloudfront so the site uses https instead of http?

Customer: your app is not returning all the objects in my bucket

Support: check console log 500 server error, ssh into box check logs exhausted memory limit.

Sudo vim /etc/php.ini search memory limit

Update to a high number restart Apache sit back and think fuck did I set it to high will it blow up my server.

Only time will tell!!! Sorted out the issue until the next user with millions of objects in their buckets

Definitely going to need one of these buckets for the fuck load of bugs my latest application is going to put in it...

Bitbucket, amirite?

Today I've been summoned to work for the first time in weeks to help with the startup of a machine, and testing the HMI software that goes with it.

Me and a junior colleague go to the machine. We try to get everything ready for testing. Machine was left stuck in some intermediate state by someone else. I have no idea on how to control the machine's individual components. My colleague received a crash course a while ago, but was unable to reinitialize the damn thing, and the senior machine builder was too busy on another project.

In other words, me coming over had no purpose at all, and we accomplished nothing.

I really don't understand companies. On one end there's an endless bitching about how everything is too expensive, and on the flip-side you see 'em toss buckets of money through the window.

Oh well, as long as it goes from the window to my bank account, there's no problem for me I guess.

ive been sitting on toilet for at least 30 mins. and i keep shitting. i have never had the need to shit THIS much, for THIS long. HOW??? where is all of this shit stored??? is this shit coming from the aws cloud s3 buckets??? cause aint no way all this shit comes from my asshole! this is unbelievable until u see it yourself! do u guys want me to take a pic of all the shit i just shitted so u can see im not lying?

I need a package repository and I find jfrog artifactory. Seems great, except the OSS version is utterly useless. The pro version is overpriced, and does not support s3 buckets and the Enterprise version is >25k/year, just to store a half dozen npm and PHP packages on s3 storage? Are you fucking kidding me???

How can companies justify this much money for a package manager?