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So...Today I found an SQLI (sql injection , google if you're not aware) in one of our products , I start exploring it , I get my trusty Kali on me workstation . sqlmap etc. Tell my manager it's a true positive... I start exploring the db , half the devs at my manager's place start staring at his screen as I proper fuck a QA db server... I hear a qa guy mention triangulation as sqlmap dumps a uid table in his face . I hear my manager's manager saying 'this has been in our app for so long and we found it just now ? Who found it ?' *manager proudly saying me name* 'He's still working this late ?' ...apparently now my trip to england is getting covered for both me and me gf by the company...18
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😎 = me, 💩 = client
💩: "I must emphasize that I'm on a tight schedule. I need this done in 2 weeks."
😎: I cut some features and take the job.
As agreed, I send a progress report at the end of the week to get feedback.
💩: *nothing*
😎: He must be busy... I'll call him if he doesn't reply in a few days.
💩: *doesn't answer call*
😎: Time running out, still no feedback, I assume everything is fine and finish it a day before the deadline. Suddenly:
💩: "Hi, how's the project going?"
😎: "...good... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???"
💩: "Oh, I went on a quick vacation"
😎: *wants to die a quick and painless death*
"There's only like a day left..."
💩: "Right... Soo, here's the feedback you asked for"
*dumps 4 paragraphs of stupid nitpicking on me (rants following)*
😎: *wants client to die a slow and painful death*13 -
The moment when a client dumps you for a "cheaper solution" and after a year his site get hacked and calls you to rescue him. Priceless.5
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A programmer and a business analyst are sitting in the break room one day eating lunch when suddenly the microwave catches fire. Thinking quickly, the analyst leaps up, unplugs the microwave, grabs the trash can, fills it with water from sink, and dumps the water on the microwave to put out the flames.
A few weeks later the two are again having lunch in the break room when suddenly the coffee maker bursts into flames. The programmer leaps up, grabs the coffee maker, shoves it into the microwave oven, and then hands the trash can to the business analyst, thus re-using the solution developed for the previous project.4 -
A guy on another team who is regarded by non-programmers as a genius wrote a python script that goes out to thousands of our appliances, collects information, compiles it, and presents it in a kinda sorta readable, but completely non-transferable format. It takes about 25 minutes to run, and he runs it himself every morning. He comes in early to run it before his team's standup.
I wanted to use that data for apps I wrote, but his impossible format made that impractical, so I took apart his code, rewrote it in perl, replaced all the outrageous hard-coded root passwords with public keys, and added concurrency features. My script dumps the data into a memory-resident backend, and my filterable, sortable, taggable web "frontend"(very generous nomenclature) presents the data in html, csv, and json. Compared to the genius's 25 minute script that he runs himself in the morning, mine runs in about 45 seconds, and runs automatically in cron every two hours.
Optimized!22 -
*part rant part developers are the best people in the world*
years back a friend got a job at some non profit, as a program coordinator, and his first task was to "coordinate" the work on creating the new website for the organisation. current website they had was a monster built on some custom cms, 7 languages, 5 years of almost dayly content updates, etc. so he asked me if i would took the job of creating a new website on wordpress. i wasn t really keen on doing it, but he is a good friend so i said ok. i wrote down the SOW, which clearly stated that i will not be responsible for migrating the old content to the new website. i had experience working with non it clients, and made sure everyone understood the SOW before the contract was signed. everyone was ok with it. after three weeks my job was done, all milestones and requirenments were met. peechy! and then all hell breaks loose when the president of the organisation (the most evil person i ve met in my life) told my friend that she expects me to migrate the content as well. he tried explaining her that that was not agreed, that it will cost extra, etc. but she didn t want to hear any of that. despite the fact that she was a part of the entire SOW creation process, because she is a micro managing bitch. in any other situation i wouldn t budge, because we have the contract and i kept all the paper trail, but since my friends job was on the line i agreed to do it. my SQL knowldge at the time, and even now, was very rudimentary, the db organisation of their cms was confusing as fuck... so i took two days of searching tutorials and SO threads and was doing ok, until i got to a problem i couldn t solve on my own. i posted the issue on SO and some guy asked for some clarifications, and we went back and forth, and decided to move to chat. while chatting with him i realised that there was not a chance for me to do all the work in few days without a lot of errors so i offered him to do it for a fee. he agreed. i asked him for his rate, he said if this is a community work i will do it for free, but if it is commercial i will charge the standard rate, 50$/hr. i told him it was commercial, and agreed to his rate. i asked him if he needed an advance payment, he said no need, you ll pay me when the job is done. i sent him the db dumps, after two days he sent me the csv, i checked it, all was good and wired him the money.
now compare this work relatioship with the relatioship with that bitch from the non profit.
* we met online, on a semi-anonymous forum, this guys profile was empty
* he trusted me enough to say that he would do it for free if i wasn t payed either
* i wasn t an asshole to take advantage of that trust
* he did the work without the advance payment
* i payed him the moment i verified the work
faith in humanity restored3 -
- be the most productive member in the team and everyone dumps their tasks on you.
- be the laziest person in the team and everyone sees you as a bottleneck.
- be the senior + the laziest person in the team and you can complain about others being a bottleneck and dump your tasks on the most productive member.
fml ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮3 -
> pic related
This is what I've been putting up with on my personal machine for months.
tl;dr: Suggestions for a wlan card/adapter for Debian9? My current RealTek wnic is barely functional, and my replacement (a TPLink... something) is completely incompatible.
I don't need anything super fancy, though I would ofc love support for AC/AD if at all possible.
I don't care (too much) about price, since I'm only going to buy one and very likely won't replace it for years.
------
I'm running Debian9 and have a have a RealTek card. Even when it's not arbitrarily dropping packets like in the screenie, it randomly caches them for up to 90 seconds and dumps them hilariously out of order. I can't play games like that. I can barely even browse devRant. Steam goes offline about once every 30 seconds, and therefore spams all of my friends with online/offline notifications. Streaming "works" on good days. Git works fine, however, so most days I don't notice the connection issues.
And yes, I'm using a community-patched driver (rtl8188ce) that's supposed to fix some of RealTek's more major screwups and increase the transmit power by ~20x. The driver helps, but only a little.
I've done some reasearch on wlan linux support, but haven't found anything very reassuring. Mostly just forum posts saying things like "Intel cards usually work fine!" I don't want to gamble. I just want to buy a card that will work and be done with it. :(
Suggestions? Insight?
10 -
Fuck my manager. >_<
I'm a fresher at a medium-sized company. Our team is relatively new and we don't have a dedicated support team for the product the team developed (before I joined the company).
So when I was allocated to the team, I was put into support, citing it as a good learning experience (and it was). But it's been a few months. And the support work got boring and uninteresting, looking at logs which don't say anything, dumps which are completely normal and most of all, dealing with unresponsive OSEs, when they claim the issue is super critical and really tricky.
Anyway, there was this tool (among other things) that had to be developed as a support tool for our product and I ended up being paired with a guy who ended up being in charge of it. We started working on it slowly, designing and implementing a framework for the tool.
This goes without saying, I love development.
4 days later, my manager says "why are you developing it? Who's gonna look at support issues?"
Fucking hell. I was hired to be a developer and you got me just decide to up and shove me into support for the next 3-6 months while others are at least enhancing our shitty ass product? And I can't even quit for another year and a half because I signed a bond!
Oh, the depression.11 -
I was part of a on-call rotation. We had ~800 microsites with decent traffic on this one box, because that's a good idea...
One day the box was experiencing kernel panics and causing core dumps. After exhausting every possiblity I decided it was time to restart the box:
sudo shutdown now
Missed the -r and the box was not accessible remotely. Had to wait for someone at the data center to terminal in.
Downtime was ~2 hours.
This was caused by a crontab that automatically ran apt-get update & apt-get upgrade... Also made by me... None of this should have worked or allowed to be done! -
Just started developing a to-do list that interacts with Calendar in swift.
Having done a lot of frontend development with js frameworks, xcode + swift + CoreData makes me want to blow my brains out.
I thought Java was verbose, but swift takes verbosity to a new level. Why does unwrapping variables make my program better?
I have already permanently broken my project twice by changing class names and changing the CoreData datamodel in xcode.
I had to create new projects, copy and paste the exact code from the old project into the new project and the code ran fine.
As soon as you need to do anything custom with a view, you have to pray to god someone has posted an example using very similar data.
Otherwise you have to read the apple documentation which is about as helpful as xcode's segfault dumps, unless you already know the names of the objects and methods that you need.
2 -
What can we do with a boss who urinates in a cup in his office and then dumps it in the kitchen sink even when we (all women) are sitting there eating lunch?
We are certain of what is in the cup because it smells, is yellow, and it sits right on his credenza in plain view. He’s even left it outside the office, forgetting to empty it.
A few weeks ago I was washing my lunch dishes and he dumped it right on top of my stuff. I was pretty much in shock, I just couldn’t believe it.
Is there something wrong here that I’m not getting? He’s the owner, the boss, in his 70’s, and very respected, but I don’t understand this. No one knows what to say. We feel that if we said something, he would deny it and since he’s the boss, who knows what would happen. Is there any way to approach this? The only other males in the office are related to him. Someone did mention it to one of them, but nothing has changed.18 -
Everyone talks about crappy categories of user on Stackoverflow - help vampires, rep whores, etc. - but the category of "people who don't care about the stupid mind games, politics or internet points and just want to help others" is so small people apparently don't even think it can exist.
I mean sheesh, I answer on there in my free time to just lend a hand to people, usually in a couple of niche tags that have very little info elsewhere, even for beginners. Of course there's questions that are beyond salvaging and just random homework dumps, but the majority are from genuinely confused users who simply don't know the correct terms to search for.
A question is not inherently evil just because its asker has misunderstood a key concept.
I'm not even asking you to help the poor sods, I'm just asking you to allow me to help without calling me a rep whore or a moron who'd be better talking to bots on reddit 🙄3 -
Srsly???
parenting.stackexchange.com
Looking forward to read of some nice "dumps", "leaks" and "overflows" there. :D
3 -
So, I work in a game development studio, right?
We're trying to launch the title on as many platforms as reasonable, because as a social VR app we're kinda rowing upstream.
So far, Steam and Oculus have been fairly reasonable, if oddly broken and inconsistent.
Enter store 3.
Basically no in-game transaction support (our asking prompted them to *start* developing it. No, it's not very complete). No patch-update system (You want an update? Gotta download the whole fsckin' thing!). No beta-testing functionality for most of their stuff ("Just write the code like the example, it will work, trust us!"). No tools besides the buggy SDK (Wanna upload that new build? Say hello to this page in your web browser!).
So, in other words: Fun.
We've been trying to get actively launched for two months now. Keep in mind that the build has been up on Steam and Oculus for over a year and half a year (respectively), so the actual binary functionality is, presumably fine.
The best feedback we get back tends to be "Well, when we click the Launch button it crashes, so fail."
Meanwhile we're going back and forth, dealing with other-side-of-the-world timezone lag, trying to figure out what is so different from their machines as ours. Eventually we get them to start sending logs (and no, Windows Event logs are not sufficient for GAMES, where did you even get that idea????) except the logs indicate that the program is getting killed so terribly that the engine's built-in crash handler can't even kick in to generate memory dumps or even know it died.
All this boils down to today, where I get a screenshot of their latest attempt.
I just can't even right now.
5 -
How are you guys taking care of mental health?
I feel down in dumps. Burnt out from previous job and life seems like a drag.
Any advice appreciated as I feel pretty isolated.20 -
Because I finally got tired of closing all the Notepads I open.
https://github.com/allanx2000/...
Sorry though, it's in NET.
Basically 1-click Save and Create (CTRL+S, N). Dumps it all into a JSON file.
11 -
When you have to get app thread dumps using tools provided to you: a rock, a hammer and a steel rod.
Fuck it. I'm building my own tools.
I'm pissed.
Step aside and let me show how it's done. And STOP GIVING TASKS "TO DEVELOP A TOOL X" TO TEAMS WHICH HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE TOOL IS TO BE USED, WHAT VARIATIONS MIGHT BE REQUIRED, WHAT PRECISION IS NEEDED, ETC. -
Right now what i want to do is just quit everything, move somewhere else, get a job and never fucking look back. Im sick of all these projects college dumps on me, the idiots im surronded with, my job, people who think im interested in their fucking research. I just want a 8 to 5 job and after 5 im fucking done and nobody calls me about how long will the next release take for projects i dont give a shit about.
In other news i just started my thesis yay.1 -
Puts three months of work into this project; cronjob to ping 3 APIs at regular intervals, cleans, massive features extraction, dumps into PostgreSQL db. Got Django on top of that with a small neural net and interesting viz - absolutely gorgeous!
Can’t fuckin wait to showcase that.
Feedback: “is that the right blue? I think you have the old company logo! etc”
Mah.LahF3 -
Worst week ever.
Servers are on fire. Respoinse times out of control
Some SIMPLE SQL queries (literaly select * from whatever where Id = id) timouts at 30 seconds.
No idea what's goining on (And I have full logs of all api calls and all DB queries). No way to find how to corelate this data.
Ok, I added 1000$/month on Azure and the problem is "masked", but not resolved.
I have dumps, I have logs I have everything, why the fuck I can't find the 1 or 2 APIs causing that ?!!!
Now I feel better.10 -
Went into the office today to turn in my badge and gun (security badge/parking pass and yubikeys really) since I'm pretty much being given my last week before changing jobs to do brain dumps for knowledge transfer, and fuck all else.
Found a jar of moonshine in a closet when I went to take my things. IT said I could keep it. Not a bad parting gift. -
Found out today that someone has a cron job running doing a daily DB export since June 1 of 2015. The dumps average 2GB. I am amazed that storage engineering hasn't complained. Here's the kicker. It's a Dev database. WTF!? Dev? I freed up a terabyte of space today. Now I need to find out who owns that cron job.2
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## Scripting myself out of the company
who needs an expensive profiler, when you can make thread dumps and compile them into a flamegraph for free without any risk of outages!
Though what bothers me is that I'm yet to come across a person in this company who knows how to read them (besides me)...
Are flamegraphs really THAT unpopular?
I mean.. you can represent the whole profile in a single image!9 -
Recently got two MS certifications. Not big ones, just one fundamentals and one associate level. And trust me, is this the level of the questions? Like they've mentioned in the MS Learn platform that it needs atleast some hands on experience in order to pass, and guess what, I didn't have any. Just mug up the theory from the MS Learn platform, mug up some dumps and you're great to go. More than 90% of the questions in both exams were from the mugged up dumps. I mean wtf. Just mugging up some stuff and vomitting it up in the exam will earn you a "industry ready" certification and that makes you equivalent to having a 1-2 year hands on experience? That's simple bullsh!t. Come on MS. Give questions that are really brain tickling. You expect developers and you're just making up some mugging up robots.1
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When you are debugging a function, and dumps all the DBG variables, and then puts an exit() to stop the execution....
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But now it runs perfectly without any bugs... 😭😭😭
FML. -
Not a productive day. I wanted to restore part of database from test server but downloading data using reat api was getting timeouts.
I made simple app that dumps data and I launched process in screen and started watching Dragon ball
I like those old first series with young Songo looking for his grandpa.
After about 2 hours and partial backup still not finished I started to cut crap data from backup script will finish it tomorrow.
Looks like my ux is still ok and views got almost all approved.
Need to fix some shit on backend but I need those backups to work for more complicated customers.
Luckily frontend developer is back so he will handle visual parts.
Maybe we will release new features on the beginning of February.3 -
Silly question, but why is it that in this age of 64-bit computing and gigabytes of RAM applications still have trouble with text files/SQL dumps over 1MB in size? Surely for something so simple it should be able to store it all in memory without any issues, no?9
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Tfw the contractors in India are striking but you have a deadline to meet so the PM dumps all their work onto you even though you were already rushing to meet a different deadline.2
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Well, not best experience per se, but most memorable one.
So I am accepted to CS program at the university - happy days!
First lecture of the first day of the first semester in the first year...
...It just had to be that guy. He was famous for for his strictness among the faculty as we later found out.
But, the lecture. It's 8.25 am, I am making my way into auditorium, and it's filled with freshmen like me, of course. Instead of cheerful chatter noise I hear literally silence. What the? I catch the glimpse of the blackboard - the professor is there, hard at work writing out some stuff that can't comprehend. Double checked the name of the lecture - computer architecture.
8.30 - so it begins, I remember taking a place along the front rows in order to see more clearly. Professor turns to us and just starts the lecture, saying that he'll introduce himself later at the end and there is no time to waste. OK...
And he just dumps the layout of x86 computer architecture and a mixture of basic ASM jargon on us WITHOUT TURNING TO US FOR LIKE 30 MINS while writing things out on the blackboard.
The he finally turns 180 degrees very quickly, evaluates our expression (I know mine was WTF is this I don't even understand half the words), sighs, turns back and continues with the lecture. -
A couple fucking brutal, merciless dungeon moments.
So first, we were having a chill kind of session. Throwing lots of jokes and shit, and I rolled with it. The baddie for the day, I felt inspired, and named him Fawq El-Fuqer, which yes, is very unfortunate.
Anyway, we avoid his goons and reach his impenetrable fortress of chronic masturbation, and it goes as well as you think. The rogue says hey, we gotta get him with his pants down (pause) literally. The cleric is skeptical at first, but she comes around to it.
And so we do it. I spin this tale of a man who's got a schedule tighter than his fucking asshole. El-Fuqer meticulously plans his shits, he makes it a whole ritual, even gives it a special name: Mud O'Clock.
We wait for his alarm to ring, and spring into action while he's taking a fat stinking fucking dump. The warrior kicks down the bathroom door and corners El-Fuqer while he's on the shitter, demanding satisfaction for their past romantic involment that's been strongly been hinted at, you see, she said Fuck the Fucker and I, that's history. And that's enough for a subplot if you ask me.
So where was I? Ah, yes, the rogue bursts in through the window shouting out "Mud O'Clock MOTHER FUCKER!!" and we immortalize the moment in the finest silks. The wizard then does a little Bane impression for some reason and a multitude of loud 'plops' are heard as El-Fuqer evacuates the entire content of his putrid guts.
He gets roughed up a little, you know nothing like interrogating someone after they nearly shit themselves to death. We reveal some oooh so unexpected plot twist about a portal to goddamn hell and it's like well, crap, we gotta do something about that. So the wizard and the rogue leave to give the warrior and El-Fuqer some, ehem, space to settle their score.
What followed was the most unexpected, most brilliant part of the whole session. She didn't just execute him in a brutal, gruesome manner, no, she went full fucking throttle. Forced El-Fuqer to eat his own cock and balls while sewing his ass shut, then had a bowl of bull testicle salad to drop a montanious fecal cake of biblical proportions upon his face.
Believe it or not, we made it into an emotional moment. Because everyone was shocked by how brutal the affair was. Warrior had a mental breakdown like, uuuh, I'm becoming the monsters I swore to fight ooh no. She starting shaking and crap, ran away and hid in an alley to weep, it begins raining and it's getting very dramatic, so I cook up some spirit of sorrow that goes in and helps her face her fears and shit through the power of friendship or whatever.
Moving on to second moment, this is shorter but I like it best. The cleric and another two extras went to an old shrine to try and prove the wizard wrong about his denial of prophecy. Thing is, they did the ritual wrong. And I'm usually very forgiving but I was feeling nasty after the whole sowing of the asshole thing. So I'm like, uh, I gave you fools VERY PRECISE instructions on how to perform this ritual, and you just did some wacky prayers to the moon nonsense, that's idolatry in-universe and out-of-universe too (depending on who you ask).
So I said fuck it, you guys had it coming. I whip out immortal ten-thousand year old elder sorceress bitch guardian of the holy sphincter, and it gets real pretty fucking quick. She's got sanctified heavy plate armor, blue fire torches coming out they fucking pauldrons, argent greatsword of anal judgement plus infinity, all the juiciest shit.
Anyway, the sorc descends from the sky in a pillar of azure flames and is like yo, drop that idolatrous shit right now or I'm gonna kill you all. They mistake her for angel or some shit, and are like hey chill, we're the good guys. But the sorc doesn't give a shit, and she says shut the fuck up or I'll send you to the Night Eternal, bitch.
I dunno why but the cleric and the other two extras don't get it, so they insist with the whole heyyyy we are not idolaters, we're your friends, we are questing for the mandinga mandango mcguffango. So she bisects one, breaks the neck of another, and decapitates the fucking cleric. It was awesome.
So what did we learn? idk, don't plan your dumps and don't pray to the fucking moon if you're standing on hallowed ground. *****9 -
I was hoping that I never have to build stupid websites again, but here I am...
The thing I hate the most, is the hassle to have an easy to update dev, staging and prod environment. Fuck wordpress, fuck drupal, fuck joomla.
git pull && composer install && npm install should be all that's needed to get the latest code in an environment.
composer require *** to install plugins. No stupid web interface where users install plugins in production env.
I don't want to create database dumps just because these fuckers think that you should store configurations in the database.
Is there any clean CMS primarily for professional programmers? Or are they all just made for retarded subhumans?5 -
Scrum standups and standdowns at my university be like: "oh let's discuss everything that comes to our mind and talk about it for an hour" - Professors 2016
(Only ranted this because I had to take a huge dump and had to hold it for a hour ;_;) -
Friend and me from the university need to write a program to parse Value-Change-Dumps from different files, and merge them together in a new file to easily compare them. This project last for the whole semester. The program was for one of the professors and we need to meet with him and give him an introduction how to use the program (was cli & gui based)
Long story short: enter office, give him the link to git repo. He clones it. Clicks on it and boom. Python error. Some Tkinter Error. OK ok after a few minutes we solved the issue by installing some additional packages and our program starts. But it doesn't work. About 80% of the buttons did nothing. WTF!??
Oh. We used git flow for fun and haven't moved the development branch to master and he cloned outdated code. We need nearly 30 minutes to solve this. 🤔And I'm just happy that this professor was just a calm guy . He was also happy because now he does not need to run multiple instances of GtkWave to compare his simulation results. -
git commit -m "The test core dumps, I go home" && git push
(OpenSSL is like running a marathon: It's just some month away and you already forgot how much fucking pain it was. Nah, can't have been that bad. Shit, it is.) -
If I ever work with people who use Python professionally I will go postal in under a day they are some of the most unprofessional snarky little fucking bastards on the internet !
Apparently a question with a million hits who's cure all answer DOESN'T WORK, is me being stupid.
So question, how many of you when looking at a third party client that doesn't have great documentation, export class data into a file to look it over at your leisure by using a serializer that just dumps the shit into said file so you can look at it ?
I mean fire and forget. Just works. Just descends into the data structure and starts dumping field values. Done. One line of code.
Json.PUTMYSHITINASTRING(FUCKINGCLASS) ???????
DON'T SAY MY METHOD OF WORKING IS BAD ! ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE FUCKING EXPORT CODE AS A CHECK_CIRCULAR BOOLEAN PARAMETER INDICATING IT SHOULD WORK BETTER THAN IT FUCKING DOES AND THE FUCKING DEBUGGER CAN REFLECT THE OBJECT !!!!4 -
I wrote a script, modified + tested it and that worked fine 6 months ago. I expected to use it then but didn't but all good so i kept a special branch for my script which generates data from old db, formats it to new db structure and dumps it into a collection. In fact, i ran one of the scripts last month (360 records) and it worked fine. Today, when i need to migrate 14,000 records, script refuses to run. I am ready to fight the universe because wtf.
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So on my new position I get to work on Spark jobs. Never had to work with the infamous big data technologies. I never thought this would get SO frustrating for all the wrong reasons.
I'm currently trying to introduce integration tests for some Spark job I wrote. This isn't trivial though, as the data comes from several HBase tables. Mocking everything simply isn't feasible. So why not use the integrated HBaseTestingUtility? With it you can start a mini cluster that runs all nessecary services in the scope of your test.
Sounds great, eh? WRONG. Firstly the used mapr dependencies get in the way. The baked in configuration tries to automatically authenticate with your local cluster through Kerberos. Of course this doesn't work. And of course there is no way to reconfigure this as it happens IN A FUCKING STATIC BLOCK. AHHHH.
Ok. So after calming down I "simply" had to exclude all mapr dependencies and replace them with vanilla ones. After two days of dependency hell it FINALLY works!
...or does it? Well now we need test data. For that we got a map reduce algorithm that can import dumps. Sounds again, great, eh? WROOOONNNG.
The fucking map reduce mini cluster can't start, as it tries to write a symlink. Now take a wild guess what the sys admin here blocked. Yepp. TWO DAYS OF WORK RENDERED USELESS, BECAUSE OF SOME FUCKING SECURITY SETTING.
This is fine.
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