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Search - "existence is pain"
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Prologue
My dad has an acquaintance - let's call him Tom. Tom is an gynecologist, one of the best in Poznań, where I live. He's a great guy but absolutely can not into tech of any kind besides his iPhone and basic PC usage. For about a year now I've been doing small jobs for him - build a new PC for his office, fix printer, fix wifi, etc. He has made a big mistake few years ago by trusting a guy, let's call him Shitface, with crating him software for work. It's supposed to be pretty simple piece of code in which you can create and modify patient file, create prescription from drugs database and such things. This program is probably one of the worst pierces of code I've ever seen and Shitface should burn for that. Worse, this guy is pretentious asshole lacking even basic IT knowledge. His code is garbage and it's taking him few months to make small changes like text wrapping. But wait, there's more. Everything is hardcoded so every PC using this software must have installed user controls for which he doesn't have license and static IP address on network card.
Part 1
Tom asked me to build him a new PC that will be acting like a server for Shitface's program. He needs it in Kalisz (around 150 km from my place). I Agred (pun intended) and after Tom brought me his old computer I've bought parts and built a new one. I have also copied everything of value and everything took me around three hours.
Part 2
Everything was ready but Shitface's program. I didn't know much about it's configuration so when I've noticed that it's not working even on the old PC I got a bit worried. Nevertheless I started breaking everything I know about it and after next three hours I've got it somewhat working. Seeing that there's still some problems with database connection (from Windows' Event Viewer) I wrote quick SMS to Shitface asking what can be wrong. He replied that he won't be able to help me any way until Monday (day after deadline). I got pissed and very courteously asked him for source code because some of libraries used in this project has license that requires either purchase of commercial license or making code open source. He replied within few minutes that he'll be able to connect remotely within next 10 minutes. He was trying to make it work for the next hour but he succeeded. It was night before deadline so I wrapped everything up and went to bed thinking that it won't take me more than an hour to get this new PC up and running in the office. Boy was I wrong.
Also, curious about his code, I've checked source and he is using beautiful ponglish (mixed Polish and English) with mistakes he couldn't even bother to fix. For people from Poland, here's an example:
TerminarzeController.DeleteTerminarzShematyDlaLekarza
Part 3
So I drove to Kalisz and started working on making everything work. Almost everything was ready so after half an hour I was done. But I wanted to check twice if it's all good because driving so far second time would be a pain. So I started up Shitface's program, logged in, tried to open ANYTHING and... KABUM. UNHANDLED EXCEPTION. WTF. I checked trace and for fuck sake something was missing. Keep in mind that then I didn't know he's using some third party control for Windows Forms that needs to be installed on client PC. After next fifteen minutes of googling I've found a solution. I just had to install this third party software and everything will work. But... It had to be exactly this version and it was old. Very old. So old that producent already removed all traces of its existence from their web page and I couldn't find it anywhere. I tried installing never version and copying files from old PC but it didn't work. After few hours of searching for a solution I called Mr Shitface asking him for this control installation file. He told me that he has it but will be able to send it my way in the evening. Resigned I asked for this new PC to be left turned on and drove home. When he sent me necessary files I remotely installed them and everything started working correctly.
So, to sum it up. Searching for parts and building new PC, installing OS and all necessary software, updating everything and configuring it for Tom taste took me around what, 1/3 of time I spent on installing Mr Shitface's stupid program which Tom is not even happy with. Gotta say it was one of worst experiences I had in recent months. Hope I won't have to see this shit again.
Epilogue
Fortunately everything seems to work correctly. Tom hasn't called me yet with any problems. Mission accomplished. I wanna kill very specific someone. With. A. Spoon.1 -
Running a fucking conda environment on windows (an update environment from the previous one that I normally use) gets to be a fucking pain in the fucking ass for no fucking reason.
First: Generate a new conda environment, for FUCKING SHITS AND GIGGLES, DO NOT SPECIFY THE PYTHON VERSION, just to see compatibility, this was an experiment, expected to fail.
Install tensorflow on said environment: It does not fucking work, not detecting cuda, the only requirement? To have the cuda dependencies installed, modified, and inside of the system path, check done, it works on 4 other fucking environments, so why not this one.
Still doesn't work, google around and found some thread on github (the errors) that has a way to fix it, do it that way, fucking magic, shit is fixed.
Very well, tensorflow is installed and detecting cuda, no biggie. HAD TO SWITCH TO PYHTHON 3,8 BECAUSE 3.9 WAS GIVING ISSUES FOR SOME UNKNOWN FUCKING REASON
Ok no problem, done.
Install jupyter lab, for which the first in all other 4 environments it works. Guess what a fuckload of errors upon executing the import of tensorflow. They go on a loop that does not fucking end.
The error: imPoRT eRrOr thE Dll waS noT loAdeD
Ok, fucking which one? who fucking knows.
I FUCKING HATE that the main language for this fucking bullshit is python. I guess the benefits of the repl, I do, but the python repl is fucking HORSESHIT compared to the one you get on: Lisp, Ruby and fucking even NODE in which error messages are still more fucking intelligent than those of fucking bullshit ass Python.
Personally? I am betting on Julia devising a smarter environment, it is a better language already, on a second note: If you are worried about A.I taking your job, don't, it requires a team of fucktards working around common basic system administration tasks to get this bullshit running in the first place.
My dream? Julia or Scala (fuck you) for a primary language in machine learning and AI, in which entire environments, with aaaaaaaaaall of the required dlls and dependencies can be downloaded and installed upon can just fucking run. A single directory structure in which shit just fucking works (reason why I like live environments like Smalltalk, but fuck you on that too) and just run your projects from there, without setting a bunch of bullshit from environment variables, cuda dlls installation phases and what not. Something that JUST FUCKING WORKS.
I.....fucking.....HATE the level of system administration required to run fucking anything nowadays, the reason why we had to create shit like devops jobs, for the sad fuckers that have to figure out environment configurations on a box just to run software.
Fuck me man development turned to shit, this is why go mod, node npm, php composer strict folder structure pipelines were created. Bitch all you want about npm, but if I can create a node_modules setting with all of the required dlls to run a project, even if this bitch weights 2.5GB for a project structure you bet your fucking ass that I would.
"YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING" YES I FUCKING DO and I will get this bullshit fixed, I will get it running just like I did the other 4 environments that I fucking use, for different versions of cuda and python and the dependency circle jerk BULLSHIT that I have to manage. But this "follow the guide and it will work, except when it does not and you are looking into obscure github errors" bullshit just takes away from valuable project time when you have a small dedicated group of developers and no sys admin or devops mastermind to resort to.
I have successfully deployed:
Java
Golang
Clojure
Python
Node
PHP
VB/C# .NET
C++
Rails
Django
Projects, and every single fucking time (save for .net, that shit just fucking works on a dedicated windows IIS server) the shit will not work with x..nT reasons. It fucking obliterates me how fucking annoying this bullshit is. And the reason why the ENTIRE FUCKING FIELD of computer science and software engineering is so fucking flawed.
But we can't all just run to simple windows bs in which we have documentation for everything. We have to spend countless hours on fucking Linux figuring shit out (fuck you also, I have been using Linux since I was 18, I am 30 now) for which graphical drivers for machine learning, cuda and whatTheFuckNot require all sorts of sys admin gymnasts to be used.
Y'all fucked up a long time ago. Smalltalk provided an all in one, easily rollable back to previous images, easily administered interfaces for this fileFuckery bullshit, and even though the JVM and the .NET environments did their best to hold shit down, and even though we had npm packages pulling the universe inside, or gomod compiling shit into one place NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO we had to do whatever the fuck we wanted to feel l337 and wanted.
Fuck all of you, fuck this field, fuck setting boxes for ML/AI and fuck every single OS in existence2 -
When depression set in, I thought pain relief lied in getting duller. People I called “stupid” — who lived simple lives filled with alcohol and lack of any talent or purpose — weren't suffering. Better even, they denied the existence of depression.
My “wish” was granted when they prescribed cariprazine. In two months, I lost my ability to read, let alone code.
Before that, even depressed, writing a simple email/password auth was a matter of ten minutes in any of the languages I knew how to do web in (JS, Python, Clojure, PHP). But on cariprazine, I remember myself not quite getting what an HTML form was.
Tell you what… you should never wish to become dumber. When I was smart and depressed, the pain was real, but it felt like… let's say a breakup. When I was dumb and depressed, it felt like being raped with a red-hot soldering iron. Or like being skinned alive. Or like when 100% of your skin is a third-degree burn. The pain weren't listening to me, as my mouth was glued shut as if I was Keanu in the first Matrix movie. You can't say, do or think anything, at all, to ease your pain somehow. You can't even realize that just DMing or calling someone is probably a good idea.
Instead of you vs. despair situation from when you were smart, now it's just despair that is actively melting you, so you two become one. Even time loses its meaning. There is nothing out there but suffering.
If you're smart(er than I was at my lowest), DO cherish it. Losing that will spell disaster. So stay away from substances that can facilitate that loss.2 -
i hate this fucking life so much why do i have to fucking exist WHAT IS THE FUCIJG POINT OF DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE WITH PASSION DOIMG AND NOT DOING WHAT U WANT TO BE DOING I DO NOT UNDERSTA D THIS LIFE
THIS existence/life is the Biggest BITCH i have ever fucking met FUCK YOU
CANNOT BE SUCCESSFUL DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE.
there was a philosopher who said "this life is pain and the only purpose of living is to reduce this pain as much as possible in order to be more happy" WHAT THE FCUK THAT IS MORE DEPRESSING THAN HAVING A FKIG CANCER
WHY DONT I JUST GET SOME INCURABLE DISEASE INSTEAD OF LIVING? OR GET HIT BY A CAR?
WhAT
I AM SO FUCKING NOT IN THE MOOD FOR ANYTHING
WHAT
as i was writing this rant by coming back from ffffffftffffffffffFFFfFFFfFFFFCKING college i went into a bus and there was a woman in front of me with an english text on the back of her shirt saying "she believed she could so she did. she designed a life she loved." WHAT
YO WHAT
THIS WAS PUT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AT RANDOM SPONTANEOUSLY
DID GOD JUST GIVE ME A FKIG SIGN OR SOMETHING?? "MY LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN TURN IT INTO THE LIFE I LOVE" IS THAT WHAT A HIGHER SPIRITUAL BEING IS TRYING TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW???
WHAT IS THIS
HOW DO I FEEL RIGJT NOW
I DONT GET IT
MHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh9 -
For those of you scared of the ZOMG imminent threat of AI.....
In Spanish, in particular to the way it is spoken in Mexico, we know curly hair to be called "chino" or "chinos" in certain places. This is funny because Chino is actually what we call Chinese people.
So. The other day I mentioned in a friend of mine's post the text "pinches chinos" in regards to the pain of having curly hair(which I also have) during windy days.
FB being the retarded piece of shit that it is took it as hate speech, pinches chinos can be roughly translated to "fucking curly hair" in this regard, but because FB is retarded as all fuck it took it as me spewing some hate speech again'st their Chinese overlords.
I normally wouldn't give a fuck, if it weren't because one of my friends is celebrating their birthdays today and I can't post shit on his wall due to me being on facebook jail.
I have known this dude since I was 6, currently 29, but no, FB decided that I was some racist prick somehow and because of that I can't go ahead and post something to him. Its fine, I was still capable of calling him and celebrating with my boy, but still.
An AI will not be able to detect the difference between a fucking cat and a lion, it is shitty technology, it is interesting because of the math behind it, but seriously, not something to be scared about, skynet is far from coming into existence.
Fuck FB and fuck people scared about AI and deep learning12 -
Why is there evil in the world?
"Because of free will 🤓🤓🤓"
---
🌌 Universe A (ours):
❌ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to imagine a new color
❌ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to grow wings and fly
❌ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to create a new planet
❌ today i can "use my free will", but if i use it for something God doesn't want me to, ill burn forever
---
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to commit evil
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to rape, kill, start wars
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to lie, deceive, suffer
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to get diseases
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to die of starvation
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to die of natural disasters
✅ today i can "use my free will", but I NEED TO suffer so i can build my character
---
What does this tell us about the creator of the existence?
By analyzing this, you can clearly see how:
The most HARMLESS things, are disabled for us to use with our "free will",
while the most HARMFUL things are allowed for us to use with our "free will"
What do YOU think:
What IF, An all-good, all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful GOD of the existence created a universe:
---
🌌 Universe B (imaginary):
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to imagine a new color
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to grow wings and fly
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to create a new planet
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to imagine doing evil
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to rape, kill, start wars
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to lie, deceive, suffer
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to get diseases
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to die of starvation
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to die of natural disasters
✅ today i can "use my free will", but i do NOT NEED TO suffer and still build my character
✅ today i can "use my free will", but if i use it for something God doesn't want me to, i do NOT burn at all
---
Please tell me, non biased, rational objective answer, is Universe A or Universe B better?
Tell me why, and give a very Very good reason, why couldnt Universe B exist?
If God exists, why didn't God create Universe B? Why did he CHOOSE to create universe A?
"if God exists, he is either Not-All-Powerful, or Not-All-Good"
- Neil Degrasse Tyson
Im having a midlife existential crisis.
If God is real, WHO said he HAS TO be All-Good?
If God is NOT All-Good, would you believe in such God? Would you worship such God?
What if God is NOT All-Good? This would explain why Universe A was chosen over Universe B.
What do YOU think, why would an ALL-GOOD ALL-LOVING ALL-POWERFUL GOD CHOOSE TO CREATE UNIVERSE A, WITH PAIN, SUFFERING AND EVIL?13 -
Existence is pain, and since you cannot take anybody's consent before giving them birth -- humans should not reproduce.
I have thought this over, would love to see if anyone can find holes in the premise or the conclusion.23 -
Vertical pressure leaf filter? More like a vertical pain in the neck! Why in the world would anyone think it's a good idea to arrange filter leaves in a vertical orientation? It's like they're begging for inefficiency! And don't even get me started on the maintenance nightmare that comes with trying to clean those things out. You practically need a ladder just to reach them!
Then there's the horizontal pressure leaf filter. Oh, joy! Because arranging those filter leaves horizontally makes all the difference, right? Wrong! It's just another headache waiting to happen. Sure, it might save a bit of space, but at what cost? I'll tell you: constant clogging, uneven flow distribution, and a whole lot of frustration.
And don't even get me started on the molten sulphur filter. Molten sulphur! Do they not realize how dangerous that stuff is? And yet, they expect us to trust some flimsy filter to keep us safe? No thank you! I'd rather take my chances swimming in a pool of lava.
Filter elements? Oh, great! Because we really needed another thing to keep track of in our already cluttered warehouses. And good luck trying to find the right one when you need it. It's like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the needle costs thousands of dollars and could potentially shut down your entire operation if you pick the wrong one.
Pulse jet candle filter? What is this, a science fiction movie? Just because it sounds fancy doesn't mean it actually works! And don't even get me started on the polishing and bag filter. If I wanted to spend all day polishing things, I'd become a shoe shiner, not an engineer!
And as for self-cleaning filters and strainers, don't even get me started! They claim to be self-cleaning, but what they really mean is that they'll clog up and break down just like every other filter out there. It's a scam, I tell you!
Oil field filtration equipment? Yeah, because nothing says "reliable" like trusting your livelihood to a piece of machinery that's constantly exposed to the elements and covered in God-knows-what.
And basket filters and strainers? They're like the ugly stepchild of the filtration world. Nobody wants to deal with them, but we're stuck with them anyway because apparently, we can't have nice things.
Process filtration and equipment? More like process frustration and equipment that's one step away from falling apart at any moment. And don't even get me started on 'Y', 'T', and conical strainers. What even are those? And why do we need so many different types? It's like they're trying to confuse us on purpose!
And finally, the auto backwash filter. Because apparently, we're too lazy to clean our own filters now. What's next? Auto-eating forks and self-driving shoes? Give me a break!
In conclusion, filtration equipment is the bane of my existence. So thanks, but no thanks, to all these so-called "innovations." I'll stick to my good old-fashioned cheesecloth, thank you very much!rant oil field filtration equipments self cleaning filters & strainers 'y' filter elements process filtration & equipments vertical pressure leaf filter pulse jet candle filter molten sulphur filter horizontal pressure leaf filter basket filters & strainers polishing and bag filter1 -
For those of you who went to universoty or college or other form of slavery mindwashing creative crushing freedom crushing institution,
what cool things did y'all do for your Graduation projects?
PS. with this whole correct usage of words movement I've decided to replace "you guys" woth "y'all" for the sake of a universal gender irrelevant specifier. Thank you for your sincere understanding. ~Board of Pointless statements and existences.7 -
Is it common to freak out frustrated to the core when you fuck up a project or dependency you've been working on for with full dedication, leading to question your decision of selecting the field, your achievements yet, the whole point of existence. Then suddenly fix it after two hours of pulling hair out and looking back feeling stupid?
This episode has repeated over and over recently. -
Every little positive thing has a cumulatively encouraging effect on the mind
It may not balance out the bad in someone's life
It may cause a diseased mind discomfort at first
But in the end in the former case it's better than not to have things that reinforce a sense of well being
And in the latter a mind caused discomfort by happy things is one that is used to hiding in its own misery to avoid its own pain and the recognition of that pain dragging it slowly out of it's mopey bleak existence is the first step towards self betterment
I thought of this as previously over the smile my fitness app brought on my face saying 'beyond awesome'
It's nice to have little reinforcers
And to all the bitter hateful disgusting garbage that takes joy in making any and all causes of joy except their own dysfunctional warped interests please get fucked to death with a steel pole with a wide hook on the end 😁 -
My shitting streak has begun again. Fuck. Its cold where i live and in my house. Shitting liquid shit doesnt help because my asshole burns. Its not fun and not enjoyable. Im trying to hold shit inside me but it forces me to shit. And if i shit it burns. Imagine being in a cold -75° weather while your asshole is burning heat at +45°. Why is life such a constant stream of pain and suffering. I write this as i sit on the toilet and fight demons not to shit more in order to prevent pain
Why did our designer invent shitting and thought it was a good idea?
I can think of a better idea: whatever i eat gets dissolved into particles by acid that my body produces like an implosion inside a submarine and transforms into pure energy that my body absorbs and thus makes the body more powerful -- no need to shit it out because its now a bunch of fucking particles!
WHY wouldnt that be a better solution. Shitting is disgusting and makes no sense if this solution is also possible. And for an omniscient all-powerful all-knowing celestial being -- NOTHING is impossible to do.
what we perceive as "magic" is normal to an all-powerful celestial entity. Therefore any thought you can imagine, should be possible to do. Even the idea i just proposed because i proved i could imagine it so it must be possible to create such existence
And as i finish writing off this rant, my asshole burns less and everything is coming back to normal Thank God. The pain was bearly bareable. As a finishing touch of this rant imma go wipe my ass for 100th time today and continue working with nextjs on my project3