Sister's new boyfriend at xmas party: So what do you do for a living?

Me: Well, I would say I'm a "full stack" developer, but what does that even mean anymore right? With the state of front-end development being in a constant state of flux and/or kissing its own ass, and every client demanding their one page website used solely for their phone number be offline first WPA SPA Web 7.0 REST Enabled clusterfuck that requires using at least 65% of the AWS stack, most of it completely uselessly. But hey, Neural Network AI looks good on your "grandma's cookies" website, and for only $9,000 per month you can now set the timer on your oven from your phone. So, man, I guess even though I've now been at it twenty years, even I'm not sure what the fuck it is I do anymore. How about you?

Sister's Boyfriend: I'm unemployed.

My sleep pattern is royally fucked. I searched around for alarm apps that can help me get back on track. I found one called Alarmy. The list of features was mindblowing. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’m on vacation. I’m using my mobile data as a hotspot to browse and do research as there are no other internet options here.

My alarm goes off at 6 AM. Everyone besides me is sleeping. Here is where the first problem arises. The only way to turn the alarm off is by taking a picture of something I have at home (This is how I force myself out of bed). I start panicking. How the hell am I going to shut this damn thing off. I try to turn the phone off, and that’s when I realize I’ve made a huge error. The pro version of Alarmy has a setting that allows you to prevent yourself from turning it off at all. Genius me thought that was a good idea. I fumble with my phone as the 1 minute mute timer they give you is slowly ticking down, before all hell breaks loose. That’s when it hits me. I have an LG G3 with replaceable batteries. My violently pounding heart rate start to slow down as I take off the case and slamdunk the phone until the battery falls out. I did it. I’m saved. 5 minutes later I turn my phone on, start the hotspot and get back to my browsing.

BEEP F*CKING BEEP. Alarmy is not done with me yet. It turns out they’ve implemented a new feature that continues the damn alarm after a shutdown. At this point I have ran out of options. I take the battery back out, and now I’m sat here without no phone or internet for the rest of my vacation, and with no clue what to do.

In my last job they required us to turn on a task timer for every little thing. Remembering to do that, and to turn it off, was a royal pain. First I had to look up which task it is, start the timer, stop the timer, find the next task and repeat, then flip back to the first task. Lots of open browser tabs within tab groups to keep track of it all. And if I came up short or went over on budget, there was a “conversation” with management to account for discrepancies. Then I had to go by memory and try to reconstruct the “missing time” accurately enough to be convincing.

Now that I’m freelancing, I try to keep up the habit because it does have merit for tracking estimates and actuals, but now it’s just me to answer to for discrepancies and I can fudge the numbers as I see fit. The time records did, however, save my bacon in a recent dispute.

Learning Swift and a Timer as first Application. ;)

I was hoping to work on my project this weekend. Turns out, the kindergarten gave all the parents a task - to make a Christmas-y house with their child.

Damn it!!

Well, I didn't work on my project, no doubt about that. But I found some other place to overengineer the shit out of it. And, frankly, I LOVED it.

2 days wasted. Not even sorry.

EDIT: all the materials are from the trash bin. That makes it even more fun!
EDIT2: Paint job is my wife's :) I'm too sloppy for it.

Messed Up my first Coding Interview and that too of Google!

My first rant.

The first question was not an easy one. I cracked it though. Happy. Very Happy! I had 40 minutes left for the second question. And then came the nightmare. Okay, my foolishness.

I compiled my code. Compilation error.
Declared variables. Compilation Error!
Imported Libraries. Compilation Error!
Changed vector to an array. compilation Error!
Checked the loop for edge cases. Compilation Error!
Cannot use an IDE too. Tab's change is not allowed.

My score was still ZERO and I had only 15 minutes left.

Then lazily my eyes went to the language selected. It was C. I wrote the code in C++.

I mean HOW CAN I BE SOOOO STUPID??
I was coding in an entirely different language!

But..But, the story doesn't end here.
Next, I copied the code and switched languages. NOOO, my code was lost. I couldn't paste my code!!

I checked the timer- 5 minutes left.
Somehow, I managed to rewrite the code. And submitted it at the last minute.

I have no idea what will be the results. I just solved 1/2 questions.

SAD but FRUSTRATED at my stupidity :(

/*
"Not wk135, but blah blah blah"
Please don't misuse wk135 (Sorry)
It's about coding tests
Thank you. */

=>
A company took their technical test on this really weird website. There was a Windows Narrator guy's voice giving instructions while a timer was running. I had to flash my ID to the webcam and then fit my head on an outline on the screen. It was for a web dev position. I had to speak into the microphone to answer the Narrator's questions and then send the video to them. The questions were weird and hypothetical, mostly. I just thought that their process was dumb and unnecessary.

=>
I don't like aptitude and algebraic tests. One company, I remember, had their test on Google Forms. For some multiple choice questions, they put check boxes instead of radio buttons. So, I could just blaze through it selecting all options. Some of the questions had their first option as "All of the above" 🤔. Fortunately, I didn't pass the test.

=>
The company I'm interning with, starting from next month, had a good interview process. They asked me questions on JavaScript, CSS, and a few on algorithms and data structures. I was also given a task where I had to make a css animation of trees. I'm glad they didn't have an algebra entry test.
😊

I am making an LDAP user manager and porting application for my workplace.

The thing is, i made the first version of it in PHP already. Shit works fine and it without an issue.

But

I had an itch to redesign it using another tech stack that would be speedier, more tested and using a more established platform.

Enter Clojure, a Lisp dialect for the JVM. In a single day I managed to get 80% of the application done. We have about 80k users inside of our ldap system(maybe more) and I tested it with 150 accounts, so far so good.

If this works I will be the first person to deploy a Clojure application, not only for my organization, but for the city as a whole while simultaneously being able to say that I got a Lisp app deployed and working :D

I am loving this. Really wanna have a Lisp app out there and add it to my resume.

The head of my department, an old timer and really ancient dev smiled heavily when I showed him the codebase. Not only is it minimal, it is concise and elegant :D

I love Clojure

And Texas

What I'm doing now, writing a JS library for a simple kitchen timer (like, something that can be wound up, is ticking, can be paused, etc). Here's a list of neat stuff I've learned:

Polyfilling as a lib author (I decided against it).
Packaging the lib (using Rollup, ES6 modules are totes cool).
Using flow to add static typing in strategic places (started appreciating types in JS since reading up on functional programming).
Modelling state and transitions using an explicit state machine. (Fucking finally. There's usually an implicit state machine somewhere, only spread out all over the app...)
Using mostly side-effect free methods, being very explicit about when and why things are mutated).
Test-first/TDD (ish) using Jest and the awesome Wallabyjs.
Freeing up mental capacity by letting Prettier format my code for me (it was hard to let go but totally worth it).
Started using git.

Did all work on Ubuntu after pretty much a lifetime of Windows (initially to separate work from gaming) and finally swapped MS Visual Studio for Atom.

When it's finished I'm going to publish it on GitHub, which will also be a first for me. Might try out some CI platform while I'm at it.

tl;dr: wrote some js, felt good

Why the hell do we always have to go into the settings to set a sleep timer in Google Play Music... Can't Google just put a button in the menu where the song is playing.....
Also you can't open the left panel from main music page coz it causes the song to change....

PS: My First Rant

Finally starting my first job as a Junior Android Developer!
Any tips -for a first timer- you want to share? 😊

and this is why you dont let a first timer build your database....

"has 34 column names in index key list. The maximum limit for index or statistics key column list is 16"

As usual before sleeping i set a timer for shutdown cuz i use my hotspot to surf devrant in bed before sleeping.

My roommate( lets call him AB) sees me writing the command.

AB: what are you doing?
Me: setting a timer to shutdown my computer.

AB: oh nice i want that too... is it just a linux thing?
Me: nope u can do it on windows.. just search the cmd command on google and u are good to go.

AB: you do it. You search.
Me: huh? Why would i do that? Bitch it is simple just google "cmd command shutdown timer" and open the first result.

AB: *extremely dissapointed face and starts searching* i dont understand anything.
Me: AB! The instructions literally explain everything! I can see!!

AB: you are good at computers, u are a computer engineer (im just a second year student)
Me: fuck off *i go to sleep*

Next day i learned that he did it after i left him, and that it did shutdown but he wasnt done with his work and he was too lazy to google how to cancel it.... JUST GOOGLE DAMMIT!!!

Web code editors are shit for interviews!!

I was given a timed interview test to code on a hackerearth’s code editor. First of all I have never used hackerearth’s code editor because they suck. The problem was very simple and I cleared the round anyways when an actual human saw my code. But my point is why are programmers creating shit editors for other programmers in a timed environment. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me how the fuck I should take an input and output that in this shit editor. The code logic was ready but the test cases failed.

So Should I be learning about hackerearth’s shit code editor in an interview with a timer or should I be judged on the code logic in the specified time?

I seriously find these web code editors most of them annoying. Cause they aint good enough. You need time figuring out the tools first and then code the logic.

Usually in your job you’re gonna use the editor of your choice. Not a fucking shit fucked half arsed hackerearth code editor. My rant is for those of you if you’re taking interviews on such platforms, be there. Don’t rely on those platforms. This automated crap is still crap.

Hey guys!! My first time in this app and it seems really cool! What are some tips to get me started :)?

Ive fixed too many juicy bugs over the last couple of years to pick just one. So this will likely be the first of a series.
I fixed one a couple of years ago in an iOS app. There was some offline storage where records could be saved, and for security reasons they would be automatically deleted if not accessed for a certain duration.
Problem was, they never got deleted because every time the app synced with the server the timer was being reset.
Turned out the class being used to save the record in the first place, was also being used to update it on sync. And that class set the ‘lastAccessed’ property to ‘now’.
So I had to refactor the class structure so that we had 2 separate tasks as we should have in the first place, one to download the record and one to update it.

My first programming lesson in C# was to increment my progressbar using a timer to 100 then show the new form. Trial ends.

Any recommendations for a first timer of functional programming? Not sure what languages are used the most or have the most community support. For whatever it's worth, I've enjoyed working with C# and Golang, and disliked working with JS and PHP.

Disclaimer: the project I'm about to mention contains the first lines of Go I have ever written.
Still, I'm quite proud of how quickly I got it working considering it's also my first time working with GTK.

This project that I've been working on the past few days is finally done. But it's %50 percent spaghetti, so refactoring time. I decided to have a look at my cyclomatic complexity numbers, and my biggest function (not main()) had it at 7.

As it was quite large, I split it up into to parts: the preparation and the actual timer loop. As I appear to need to use a goroutine, by the time I'm done passing channels and all hell to handle them, my loop function now has a score of 9 for cyclomatic complexity.

So fix one bug, leaves two in its place?

But I still need to better learn Go, anyone have a good (relatively painless, informative, quick-ish) course they can recommend? I've been thinking of trying out codecademy's one...

My angularJS learning project is closely coming to an end. Not bad for a JavaScript first timer. Everything is laid out properly, the only thing left is to connect it properly with the backed :) . PS I'm using angular1

They offered a coding test alongside a resume. So I took it and did extremely well. Showcased my talents wonderfully. They ask for an interview (video call). We do the first half of the interview with an HR rep, goes great, a little over schedule. So we go into the second half with a little over twenty minutes left, and the hiring engineer wants me to write some code. He explains my task and sends me to a site where I can write and execute the code and he can watch. I had never written code with an audience before, and between that and my now 20 minute timer, I was a tangled up ball of nerves. Needless to say, I blew it, writing nothing of worth. He ends the call and I open my IDE. Working solution in 7 minutes. I got a rejection email two days later. Worst part? The company employed the author of one of my favorite "learn to code books". Would have been amazing to work with him. Really demotivating to say the least.

Ugh I was looking into React Native Expo and build an app fairly quicky, everything was going well! I just finished a poc and wanted to build it. Well I have build two times before on Expo Cloud. Took like 10 minutes in total. I submited my build and bam 2 hours free plan queue. Motherfuckers! Sucking my dick for the first 2 builds and than asking for the money. When I want to have priority queue I have to pay 99$ per month or 1$ per build wtf is that?? See I get that I should not have expected much from this free service but be upfront with me pls.

Than I tried building the app locally on my MacBook but ofcourse that's always a pain in the ass and after staring at an error for half an hour and trying to fix it with minimal google search results, I gave up for now. Now I'm looking at the fucking downtime timer of 60 minutes before my mini app get's build and oh if it fails I'll have a mental breakdown

Our Prof has written a "Bandmodell" (band model in English) it should represent a escalator. So we have to do some practical coding challenges and the first one was an escalator control. Everything alright but after that we had to do a timer and had to use his buggy band model just because it had a text field for console output.
Why can't we use the console, if everything our application should do, is printing the elapsed time.