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Search - "knot"
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ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?12 -
Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: WTF
Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: WTF
Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi
Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???
Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Windows: Updating....
Me: *jumps out window*13 -
FUCK this startup mentality of implementing all these external services and APIs for absolutely fucking everything.
I get that your vacuous fresh-mint-tea-soaked hipster brains are all cheering about these "only $10/month/seat" services, because you imbeciles with your nodejs-sticker-plastered macbooks have never done anything but knot the work of other dimwits together.
I don't even care about the subscription costs. That shit is more trouble to maintain than writing it yourself, and there's no guarantee that visualizemyballs.com & lintmycock.io still work tomorrow.
I'm getting so sick of being barraged with 502 bad gateway errors because you halfassed yet another API implementation. Stop advertising your crossfit stats, your meditation-app records and your vegan protein bars for a minute, and maybe start writing some fucking code of your own, something with a higher shelf-life than your iPhone screen...
You know... something which actually fucking adds value to the world.15 -
Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.
Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.
Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.
Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.
Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?
Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.
Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!
Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.
Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.
Me: FML18 -
Worst Person you Interviewed?
I interview many developers at my company. Today, I interviewed someone who seemed fairly qualified. Then I spotted a large gap I his resume. When I enquirer about the gap, he disclosed that he had served prison time for pedophilia. He further disclosed that as a condition of his release, he had to be supervised when using a computer.
As we are a gov/medical company, we are not allowed to hire people with a criminal record. He begged me but I told him that it was again company policy. I felt sorry for him not finding any work and being forced to beg, but I also had a knot in my stomach over the details his crime that he elaborated on.
Anyway, he scored 0 out of 10 on my interview scale.
Right after him, I interviewed another developer who seemed great on paper but when I proved further, he didn’t know jack about JavaScript, despite his resume show him to be a “jQuery expert”!
So, I asked him what he does in his spare time and how me keeps his development skill/knowledge up to date. He said:
“...no, I don’t study this shit in my spare time... I’m not a facking need!!!”
I stopped the interview right there. I might sware here on DV, but it my office I keep it civil & professional. So I certainly do not appreciate it when a diaper wearing, snotty nosed, junior wanker swares in my offices to merely protect his willful ignorance and shows pathetic pride instead of humility. That interview comes to an end immediately!
The pedo got a 0 out of 10, but this brat scored a -5 out of 10!!!
I have so many interview stories I could tell you...
#fml11 -
Do you ever feel coding fatigue?
My dev mana has run dry, I've hit my rate limit.
That moment where your brain thinks "I should finish building this React project, it's good for my portfolio" or "I should really work on fixing this query performance issue, I already know what the problem is" — but your stomach churns at the thought of having to interpret even a single line of code?
The last few days it really does feel like a physical illness, a nauseated feeling whenever I open an IDE. I have written about 12 lines of code since Monday.
It goes beyond writer's block, it's not a lack of focus or inspiration, it's a big knot in my head of everything that's wrong and inconsistent in development, and it causes feelings of dread, desperation and revulsion when trying to wrap my head around the simplest stuff.
Does anyone have good tips to overcome this feeling, something faster and less savings-account-destroying than "take a sabbatical year and travel the world riding an emu"? (seems tempting though)57 -
This is kind of a horror story, with a happing ending. It contains a lot of gore images, and some porn. Very long story.
TL;DR Network upgrade
Once upon a time, there were two companies HA and HP, both owned by HC. Many years went by and the two companies worked along side each one another, but sometimes there were trouble, because they weren't sure who was supposed to bill the client for projects HA and HP had worked on together.
At HA there was an IT guy, an imbecile of such. He's very slow at doing his job, doesn't exactly understand what he's doing, nor security principles.
The IT guy at HA also did some IT work for HP from time to time when needed. But he was not in charge of the infrastructure for HP, that was the jobb for one developer who didn't really know what he was doing either.
Whenever a new server was set up at HP, the developer tried many solutions, until he landed on one, but he never removed the other tested solutions, and the config is scattered all around. And no documentation!!
Same goes with network, when something new was added, the old was never removed or reconfigured to something else.
One dark winter, a knight arrived at HP. He had many skills. Networking, server management, development, design and generally a fucking awesome viking.
This genius would often try to cleanse the network and servers, and begged his boss to let him buy new equipment to replace the old, to no prevail.
Whenever he would look in the server room, he would get shivers down his back.
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/Ie9x3YC33C.j...)
One and a half year later, the powerful owners in HA, HP and HC decided it was finally time to merge HA and HP together to HS. The knight thought this was his moment, he should ask CEO if he could be in charge of migrating the network, and do a complete overhault so they could get 1Gb interwebz speeds.
The knight had to come up with a plan and some price estimates, as the IT guy also would do this.
The IT guy proposed his solution, a Sonicwall gateway to 22 000 NOK, and using a 3rd party company to manage it for 3000 NOK/month.
"This is absurd", said the knight to the CEO and CXO, "I can come up with a better solution that is a complete upgrade. And it will be super easy to manage."
The CEO and CXO gave the knight a thumbs up. The race was on. We're moving in 2 months, I got to have the equipment by then, so I need a plan by the end of the week.
He roamed the wide internet, looked at many solutions, and ended up with going for Ubiquiti's Unifi series. Cheap, reliable and pretty nice to look at.
The CXO had mentioned the WiFi at HA was pretty bad, as there was WLAN for each meeting room, and one for the desks, so the phone would constantly jump between networks.
So the knight ended up with this solution:
2x Unifi Securtiy Gateway Pro 4
2x Unifi 48port
1x Unifi 10G 16port
5x Unifi AP-AC-Lite
12x pairs of 10G unifi fibre modules
All with a price tag around the one Sonicwall for 22 000 NOK, not including patch cables, POE injectors and fibre cables.
The knight presented this to the CXO, whom is not very fond of the IT guy, and the CXO thought this was a great solution.
But the IT guy had to have a say at this too, so he was sent the solution and had 2 weeks to dispute the soltion.
Time went by, CXO started to get tired of the waiting, so he called in a meeting with the knight and the IT guy, this was the IT guys chance to dispute the solution.
All he had to say was he was familiar with the Sonicwall solution, and having a 3rd party company managing it is great.
He was given another 2 weeks to dispute the solution, yet nothing happened.
The CXO gave the thumbs up, and the knight orders the equipment.
At this time, the knight asks the IT guy for access to the server room at HA, and a key (which would take 2 months to get sorted, because IT guys is a slow imbecile)
The horrors, Oh the horrors, the knight had never seen anything like this before.
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/HfptwEh9qT.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/HfptwEh9qT.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/hmOE2ZuQuE.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/4Flmkx6slQ.j...)
What are all these for, why is there a fan ductaped to on of the servers.
WHAT IS THIS!
Why are there cables tied in a knot.
WHY!
These are questions we never will know the answers too.
The knight needs access to the servers, and sonicwall to see how this is configured.
After 1.5 month he gains access to the sonicwall and one of the xserve.
What the knight discovers baffles him.
All ports are open, sonicwall is basically in bridge mode and handing out public IPs to every device connected to it.
No VLANs, everything, just open...10 -
Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.2 -
Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"8
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!rant
So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.
Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".
Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...
Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.
I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.8 -
Installed Arch. Failed. Tried again. Failed. Went back to Ubuntu. Tried again the week after. Failed 4 more times. Finally installed it correctly. Tried it on my desktop PC and failed 2 more times until I figured it out.
I'm never formatting my hard drives again.13 -
You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.
We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.
Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..
And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.
LESSON LEARNED .4 -
When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.3
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All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.2
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I'm supposed to be a techie and prefer all the digital stuff, but this is by far the best Christmas present I'll be getting this year5
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So much swag arrived in the mail today.
It's funny how I end up paying for more stuff from a free app than from one of those freemium games that are so popular right now.5 -
My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.3
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My dad has been using a Windows computer every day since 95. Yesterday he discovered that if you click the little tabs in the "details" view of the file explorer, you can sort the contents of a folder by name, date, etc.
I also tried to show him how to scroll with the mouse wheel, but he said it was too complicated, and he preferred to drag the scroll bar every single time.4 -
My mentor is a GOD. He's a workaholic. He knows everything. The only fucking thing he doesn't know is that his MENTEES ARE NOT HIS FUCKING SLAVES.3
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Such immense satisfaction when. You have been telling the other team that the problem is on their end and providing more and more evidence that it is but they insist it's in your end and now finally they are admitting the problem is on their end!3
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*dad's w10 computer running super slow*
*checks task manager*
100% disk usage
*checks whatever-the-advanced-system-monitor-is-called*
*Compattelrunner.exe is at the top of the list in disk usage*
*searches online to find what the hell that is*
"Compattelrunner.exe collects program telemetry information if opted in to the Microsoft EatASackOfDicks Customer Experience Fuckup"
Telemetry is supposed to be disabled on this computer.
What the fuck Microsoft, if you want to straight out lie to my face as a customer at least try to not be so obvious that you basically lock down my computer with your telemetry shit.3 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
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I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:
"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "
OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:
"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."
PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".
Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet7 -
A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.
So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.
We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.
When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:
"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."
So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????
YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???
GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE
God, it feels good to let that out.4 -
Lemme be frank for a moment
Just because the compiler tells you that you need to do a certain thing, DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD SEE THAT AS THE ONLY FUCKING SOLUTION
DON'T START FUCKING UP THE SINGLE-RESPONSIBILITY PATTERN JUST BECAUSE THE COMPILER SAYS YOU SHOULD, HOW DENSE MUST YOU BE TO THINK THAT'S THE FUCKING SOLUTION?! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD DIG A LITTLE BIT DEEPER? I CAN'T EVEN LAUGH ABOUT IT IT'S SO SAD. DEADLINE IS GETTING CLOSER DAMNIT
Oh btw, another instance:
"I'm doing X to achieve Y because I'm more familiar with step 1 of X"
Fine, but that takes more time and can be done in way Z, in that way, you don't loose precious time and can just work on the other steps in the proces that contineously get harder.
* Person proceeds to do X anyway and get stuck, in the end having nothing done *
🙄
I like helping people, I really do
But I'm not going to loosen the knot around your neck if you keep tightening it9 -
We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.
Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.8 -
Recently, our team hired an arrogant trainee-junior to the team, who turned out to be mean towards the other developers and in a habit of publicly mocking their opinions and going as far as cursing at them. He steals credit and insults others. He openly admits he's an offensive person and not a team player. When someone from the team speaks, he might break into laughter and say demeaning sentences like "that's so irrelevant oh my god did you really say that? hahaha". Our team consists of polite and introverted engineers who cannot stand up to bullies. Normally this kind of behavior won't be suitable even if you work in a burger shop especially not from a trainee. Let alone trainee, the rude behavior of Linus Torvalds was not tolerated, despite him being in the top position and a recognized star talent in the IT field.
I personally no longer feel comfortable speaking up during teams meetings or in the slack team chat. I'm afraid my opinions will be ridiculed or ashamed - likely will be called "irrelevant". I respond only if I'm directly addressed. We have important features coming up, requested by the customer, but I feel discouraged to publicly ask questions - I sort of feel having to regress into contributing less for the product. I also witness that other younger developers speak less now in meetings and team chat. Feels like everyone is hiding under the bed. Our product team used to have friendly working atmosphere but now the atmosphere is a bit like we're not a team anymore but a knot.
Lesson I learnt from here is: There is a reason why some companies have personality tests and HR interviews. Our proud short boarding process was consisting of a single technical interview. Perhaps at least a team interview should be held before hiring a person to the team, or the new hire should at least be posed a question: are you a team player? Technical skills can be taught more easily than social skills. If some youngster is unable to communicate in a civilized manner for even five minutes, it should raise some red flags. Otherwise you will end up with people who got refused from other companies which knew better.22 -
"Sooo, children of the village, what are we going to write front-end in?" - I said to my infant students.
"Typescript with ts-loader/awesometypescript loader for webpack" - simultaneously yelled the kids.
"Exactly! Brilliant! And now, what are we going to be writing back-end in?" - asked I then.
The kids yelled: "PHP 7.2 with Laravel, or Go with Gingonic and juliensmith/httprouter, or Typescript without loader, with express/koa"
Truly stunned with their excellence, I asked "Well, now you 100% ain't gonna get it right - what are we going to be writing a desktop application that doesn't require a lot of native functionality and preferably, cross-platform in?" And the kids didn't hesitate to yell happily "Typescript targeting Electron", which has only brought tear to my eye.
"A native ms windows app?" "WPF under C#"
"A native gtk app?" "Vala"
"A native KDE/XFCE app?" "Cpp/Qt"
"A native mac app?" "Swift3.2/4"
I was in tears, just thinking about what future these kids have, but suddenly I have noticed one of kids seemed puzzled. It was Pajeet, an indian guy, ugh, his mom was a bitch. I asked him "What is wrong, little acoustic?" "But I like Java, and I would like to make back-end with Tomcat!" he replied. "Ooooh :3" cutely I moaned, trying to reach the handle of the table locker "I've got something just for you". I pulled out a rope, with sewed-in spikes, covered in drool and piss, came up to Pajeet and tenderly put it around his neck, making a knot. Pajeet fell under the table, and I got fired.8 -
Hello everyone 👋
I see people blaming the developers when you see a crappy software product , saying that they have done a bad job.
But even it could be true also it could be the product managers who didn’t give enough time todo what needs to be done or project scope is too big for the persons knowledge.
I’ve worked in a company where deadlines were so tight I didn’t have enough time to proper UI and Testing. I used to be only developer who has someone experience and I had to train the interns as well. I am also to blame to joining such company but in desperate times takes desperate measures.
And now when i’m leaving the company and I have spend 2 years of my life for apps that I’m not proud of.
Just rant. Please feel free to give ur thoughts2 -
Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
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This happens quite often in the trains of my city. I still wanted to know what the next stop was, btw3
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One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.
We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).
I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.14 -
I have been learning how to dockerize entire projects this week, and I have to say, Docker is the best thing I've come across in a long time.
That is all5 -
Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.3 -
In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.
Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.
Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!
Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??
Is is like that on other countries as well?2 -
My dad has had an android phone for about 3 years now. He just learnt that the big circle at the bottom takes you to the home screen. I love my dad.2
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I don't know if this brand is popular outside my country, so I thought you guys should know this is a thing10
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Took a devops position for a friend who needed help managing a small datacenter.
Five months of writing nothing but yaml for ansible. I'm about to go mad...1 -
Today I spent several hours arguing with a client. Why? Because she's seeing an error on her website, and no matter how many times I explain to her that she's the only one seeing a css misalignment that was fixed this morning, and that she should clear the browser's cache or just use a different one, she refuses to understand that it's not my fault and that the website that's in production is working just fine for her users.
FFS I tested the same thing on Firefox Chrome, chromium, edge and even fucking IE8 on as many OSs as I can, namely Windows 7, Windows 10, Debian, Ubuntu, Android and OSX.
WHY DO YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR BROWSERS CACHE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE.
Uffff, that feels better.2 -
Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.
Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .
Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬7 -
I finish sentences with semicolons.
I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.
I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.
And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work. -
Meme quoting one of our employees who sent in a ticket asking if something was a "phishing technique without the use of email."
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One of my coworkers calls Firefox "Google". Oddly enough she also uses Chrome but calls it "Chrome". I get confused every time she asks me to help her with her computer.1
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My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
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I'm going insane.
My colleague wanted to sort an excel spreadsheet and got an error. "Can't sort, column width must match" (or something along the lines) . Which basically means you got non uniformly merged cells.
Without telling me this, he asked for training on how to change column width precisely, after spending 30 minutes explaining he done just that. Column by column for all 40 columns he did just that. Resized to 10 of something (no one really knows what those width numbers in Microsoft Excel really mean) and try to sort.
I Shit you knot, he got the exact same error and flipped out angry at me for creating a shitty system (I think he spent an hour or two total with double and triple checking the sizes)
I did laugh because of this, but I do feel bad for not asking what was the real reason before all of this.1 -
Fuck Salesforce to oblivion and back. I hope all it's buildings, servers and backups fucking burn down. Never has there been anything more frustrating, confusing, over-fucking-complicated and over-fucking-glorified in all history.8
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Dad: Hey, how do I make a program work when it's not working?
Me: Guess what, I've looking for the answer to that exact same question for a while now, but I still haven't found it. I'll make sure to tell you when I do.
(Clarification: He's not a dev, he was actually talking about some 10 year old version of some program not launching in Windows 10) -
Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?
Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.
What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?9 -
Anyone else work at a company where the employees don't know the difference between a developer and a help desk person??3
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Forgetting every day tasks...
So I can use map, reduce, filter in my sleep, have memorised huge chunks of valuable programming information.
Today I went to the gym and laced up my jogging pants, looked at the vogue knot I'm supposed to tie to prevent them from falling down and my brain just said:
"Fucked if I know how to tie that!" -
Guys, I need some advice.
A couple of weeks ago I finished my internship as a sys admin in this medium sized consulting company. When my "contract" was about to expire they offered me a real job doing the same thing I've been doing for the past few months, but I turned it down.
The reason why I did it was that I wasn't really happy with the job. I mean, the people were... fine, the management team was... fine, the actual work I needed to do was... fine. I think you get the idea. The problem was that I never really enjoyed it all that much, and even though I didn't hate it, I wasn't really happy with it, so I turned the offer down.
After giving it more thought and listening to what some of my friends and family members had to say, I started thinking that maybe it was a bad idea to do so. Many people have said to me that I'm making a mistake, that I shouldn't leave a job before I have a new one, and that I should take the offer, work there for a little while and then look for something else.
I always answer by saying that the job market in this field is much more simple, and that it's much easier to find a new job than in any other, but yet again, I'm not sure if I'm making a big mistake with this decision.
Thoughts?
PS: I'm 21, this would be my first job ever7 -
I need cyclic data structures but algebraic data types are my first love and tying the knot is impossible with the eagerness F# has. The interfaces and classes I abandoned C# for are the ones I am now writing in F#. What a job well done on my part in avoiding mutability :(6
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!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?2 -
Complaints about how FE rendering is so slow when BE apis take forever to return. Working on performance projects and feel like you've done nothing at all at the end of each day.2
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Always double check the code you're sending to the teacher after finishing a school project.
I once sent them an old version of the code that had useless comments and debug messages everywhere. Some of them "politely" pointed out the fact that I really hated the subject, that it was pointless and that the assignment was way overcomplicated for first year students.1 -
TL;DR: Have you ever been on a serious company where you have to DRAW a high fidelity mockup of the software in the design phase?
So I'm in my last year of college and I have a class called Interactive systems design, which is basically about usability and how to design the frontend of your app so it's intuitive, pretty and easy to use.
So we work in groups to design a project for the entire semester, following a long and tedious process of research and planning which includes writing absurdly long documents, doing interviews with potential users and more.
Now that we've done all of that, the teacher insists that we make paper mockups of our app before we do a digital one using Balsamiq or other programs. He wants the paper mockups to be "interactive", so we have to draw them and then record a video where someone "clicks" on the mockup with their fingers and another person moves the papers around to make it look like an actual app that's doing something.
The teacher still insists this is something almost every company does when designing a project, so it's very important that we learn to do this kind of stuff. He's kidding, right? Have you guys ever drawn a mockup of an app instead of using some mockup software?7 -
Well, I love react-native and how easy to build mobile app with it. but damn look at these folder sizes jeez1
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Hey Guys
Today I'm bringing a tool for you guys, mount servers with old phones Or have servers in your phone for testing.
Tool: Servers Ultimate Pro
Web:: https://icecoldapps.com/app/...
Note1.: Doesn't handle well above android 6+, So test one of the free servers you're intending to use before buying.
Note2.: This App costs around 10€/$ but you can get single App servers for free (I think even html + php + mysql package for free).
Not promotional, I'm just a user that loves this App.
I already talked about this a few times (usually I just call the cell phone I'm using my web server), but as a noob I don't even knot the possibilities.
This App comes with more then 70 protocols (60+ servers and a mix of servers).
From ssh, ftp, html (nginx, lightppd, Apache, simple) with php and mysql, Webdav...
<quote>
Run over 60 servers with over 70 protocols!
Now you can run a CVS, DC Hub, DHCP, UPnP, DNS, Dynamic DNS, eDonkey, Email (POP3 / SMTP), FTP Proxy, FTP, FTPS, Flash Policy, Git, Gopher, HTTP Snoop, ICAP, IRC Bot, IRC, ISCSI, Icecast, LPD, Load Balancer, MQTT, Memcached, MongoDB, MySQL, NFS, NTP, NZB Client, Napster, PHP and Lighttpd, PXE, Port Forwarder, Proxy, RTMP, Remote Control, Rsync, SMB/CIFS, SMPP, SMS, Socks, SFTP, SSH, Server Monitor, Stomp, Styx, Syslog, TFTP, Telnet, Test, Time, Torrent Client, Torrent Tracker, Trigger, UPnP Port Mapper, VNC, Wake On Lan, Web, WebDAV, WebSocket, X11 and/or XMPP server!
</quote>7 -
I was assigned to maintain a legacy project today. I downloaded the source code, configured the database server and imported the project in visual Studio. For a tiny, blissful fraction of a second, I expected everything to work on the first try.6
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Long live Ruby on Rails! It's so great once once you actually get what's happening. It's not "too much magic"if you understand what's happening under the hood9
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(a bit late for wk73 but I wanted to post this anyway)
Back in my first year of university, we had to write a relatively simple (though it looked super complicated back then) C++ console application. I don't know what it's called, but it's that game where the computer generates a random 4 digit code and you have to try to guess what it is. Every time you try, it will tell you which digits are correct, which would be correct if they were in a different position and which are outright wrong.
Anyway, the program had a main menu with a help option that would output a short guide on how to play the game. Instead of hard coding it into the source code, the "guide" had go be written in a separate text file and then read and dumped to the screen when necessary.
Here came my great idea on how to read files. Instead of looping through the file until I reached the end, I counted the number of lines my text file had and wrote some gem of a piece of code like this:
for (int i = 0; i<11; i++){
line = file.readline();
cout << line << endl;
}
My teacher obviously took points off for doing such a stupid thing, and I remember complaining A LOT about it. I argued that 11 was a constant because I didn't plan on changing the text file, and that the teacher had no right to take points off for only reading 11 lines because the file only had 11 lines, so it was read in full.
Goddammit, what an innocent little brat I was. I'm glad my first programming teachers were good enough to stay firm and teach me how to do things the right way, even if it's the hard way. -
I had to contact my ISP's tech support because I suddenly lost my Internet connection. I explained to the guy who answered that my router was working fine, and that my devices could connect to my WiFi network, but they didn't have Internet access.
He was so confused because he didn't understand that WiFi and the Internet are not the same thing. He then made me reboot my router and reset my configuration (like I hadn't done that before) and eventually ran out of ideas and scheduled a technician to visit my house next week. What a moron -
You know that Monday morning feeling, that dread in your stomach when Sunday rolls around? That knot in your stomach knowing you've got to drag your ass out of bed in the morning back to the daily grind?
...
...
...
...
...
Yeah, I don't get that. Mondays are cool. -
In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?10
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My co-worker X and I worked late nights for a project every single day including weekends, and our fucking senior manager invites X to his party and not me. Seriously.. does he even know I'm in the same fucking team?.
I mean yeah X did a great job working hard and shit.. but so did I.
I really hate my manager.
Fuck Him..6 -
I do all this work to make an elegant solution to, frankly, a dumb requirement. And a newer dumber requirement comes out that requires someone to modify my solution. Normally not a problem. But this is a backend solution given to a frontend developer to modify. I told them how my solution works since it did 90% of what she needed. But instead, they reinvent the wheel and I have to fix it. I was supposed to be done with this 3 hours ago, but unraveling this knot is taking for fucking ever.2
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Felt a knot in my shoulder while training BJJ. It slowly got worse and had to stop training.
By the next day it feels like my back is out but in my neck. It's miserable.
I was supposed to do work around the house but that isn't happening now for sure.6 -
In our company, "UAT".
We using staging environment and most of the data is either missing or corrupt. They don't refresh the data, saying it can impose some security issue.
How the hell are we supposed to complete UAT when there's no data that's in production!!!! -
Trying to read the description/usage for WP functions to figure out what's going on is like getting lost inside a maze...inside a maze.
I swear people write these descriptions for people who already know what the functions are and what they do. #UselessToMe -
Urgent bug, some values are not getting displayed!! Frontend developer is always asked to debug, but don't we always know for sure it's Backend service not sending the value without having to debug