Fuck me. I just posted a huge post on StackOverflow with images and huge puddles of code everywhere because I had been stuck since yesterday and five FUCKING minutes after asking, I read the code on the website (Pretending to be an outsider solving my own problem) and find the FUCKING TYPO.

Come to a festival they said.. .. It'll be fun they said.. Here I'm ranting and reading machine learning algorithms under a tree, while others party. Omg.

One of our newly-joined junior sysadmin left a pre-production server SSH session open. Being the responsible senior (pun intended) to teach them the value of security of production (or near production, for that matter) systems, I typed in sudo rm --recursive --no-preserve-root --force / on the terminal session (I didn't hit the Enter / Return key) and left it there. The person took longer to return and the screen went to sleep. I went back to my desk and took a backup image of the machine just in case the unexpected happened.

On returning from wherever they had gone, the person hits enter / return to wake the system (they didn't even have a password-on-wake policy set up on the machine). The SSH session was stil there, the machine accepted the command and started working. This person didn't even look at the session and just navigated away elsewhere (probably to get back to work on the script they were working on).

Five minutes passes by, I get the first monitoring alert saying the server is not responding. I hoped that this person would be responsible enough to check the monitoring alerts since they had a SSH session on the machine.
Seven minutes : other dependent services on the machine start complaining that the instance is unreachable.

I assign the monitoring alert to the person of the day. They come running to me saying that they can't reach the instance but the instance is listed on the inventory list. I ask them to show me the specific terminal that ran the rm -rf command. They get the beautiful realization of the day. They freak the hell out to the point that they ask me, "Am I fired?". I reply, "You should probably ask your manager".

Lesson learnt the hard-way. I gave them a good understanding on what happened and explained the implications on what would have happened had this exact same scenario happened outside the office giving access to an outsider. I explained about why people in _our_ domain should care about security above all else.

There was a good 30+ minute downtime of the instance before I admitted that I had a backup and restored it (after the whole lecture). It wasn't critical since the environment was not user-facing and didn't have any critical data.

Since then we've been at this together - warning engineers when they leave their machines open and taking security lecture / sessions / workshops for new recruits (anyone who joins engineering).

I don't have a degree in CS. I've been in the field for 3 years at a professional level, and I've definitely improved my skills substantially. But I still get that lingering feeling of imposter syndrome. Any positive thoughts or tips to rid of that feeling? I perform well at my job but still feel like an outsider in the industry sometimes 😔

!dev but actual long rant - about the students in my grade.

TL;DR: 1 asshole in 10 people can ruin everything. Mobbing sucks. I dislike parties.

There's the word "Jahrgang" in Germany which means the people in the same school year as you. I'll refer to it as "my (collective) classmates" although we don't have classes anymore, rather courses and I also mean those I do not have courses with.

With that out of the way, let the rant begin.

It's often the case that people with high logical and intellectual skills (no being arrogant, other people categorize me like that) have a lack of social skills - or empathy.

I'm a kind of an outsider in a way that since 10th grade I stopped trying to attach myself to certain groups since I do not fit in there. I'm fine with that now. Nowadays I can at least socialize with other nerds.

Here's why I dislike the collective of my classmates. This year is my last school year and as always, a big group forms a spirit. They have a theme (superheroes - super boring). I didn't go to any party they threw and I don't plan to go to the graduation ceremony as well since it's an unofficial party and not a school event. I hate parties. I hate alc and drunken teenagers. I didn't attend the "Kursfahrt" - a kind of excursion that's like holidays with your course - mainly because I dislike my "Stammkurs" (main course).

Why? I had a friend in this course. She was short, geeky and I could actually talk to her. Yet some jerks (not intensely) bullied her because "she was awkward" and in the end, she switched school - also because of other reasons.
When she was gone, even those who didn't bully her and who are considered "nice" made fun of her and talked badly about her - and me hanging around with her. So since then, I avoid anything with them that's not 100% school related.

Now they're planning what we call "Abigag" - it's a joke/prank the graduates pull on the school and younger students, something funny like an entrance room full of balloons and many other things. Also, the "Abizeitung", the yearbook the graduates put out with articles about their courses, teacher ranking and quotes etc. Also, a cabaret evening from the graduates to collect money for the graduation party. Cool stuff actually. I thought about taking part.

I'd say my talents are creativity and computer stuff. So a friend chatted with me about nerdy pranks like a school-wide wallpaper change. Or releasing a fake password list of the teachers - claiming we hacked them - with puns and insiders about the teaches. He said he gotta invite me into the WhatsApp group of the Abi prank. Disclaimer: He's one of those people who are socialized but still able to talk with me. He's fine.

Well guess what he told me later:

They don't want me on the team since I distance myself from my classmates. I should either be fully one of them or not at all.

That's enough. Who distances whom? I thought they were happy to have me on board but horse shit! Stuck with ideologies from the 19th century.
They can lick my ***. I don't have anything against most of them in person but as a collective, they're just fucking stupid. I guess it wasn't even the majority saying they don't want me to help. It was probably just the small crew of leading and loud jerks. And no one would disagree with them saying "Why not? He wants to help?" (even if it was their opinion) - they don't have the brain or balls to say anything against the strong idiot leaders. They'll do great later in politics as an adult - they wouldn't criticize Hitler if they were under his "protection".

So I won't take part in making Abi pranks, - but also not the Paper and cabaret eve. They can go jerk off to being part of a huge collection of assholes - which I, in all my pride, am not part of other than on paper.

(Disclaimer: No critics to other outsiders but those who were engaged and responsible for the choice of not letting me help)

If anyone actually read this:
Who were/are you in school times?
A proud outsider like me? Party boi/girl? Engaged striver?

I just realized how weird my searches would seem to an outsider

"python twisted vs falcon celery"

"python hug vs falcon"

I do like naming stuff as animals though. Maybe we should sort all of the python web servers by speed and name them accordingly.

Falcon is obviously the fastest, we can name twisted cheetah, and all the way at the end Django becomes elephant. Big and powerful but soooooooooo slow.

!Dev

In Malaysia for some reason Chinese and Indians are considered as outsider. Some Malays are considering themselves are native (actually the Orang Asli are the native). Many politicians attempt to even startled a racial fight against the non- Malays. My country is operated by a closed system. Most Dutch , US companies are leaving Malaysia due to the unfairness.

Before this I worked in a Dutch company in Malaysia , where lately the company declare bankruptcy as my respectable boss told me what happened. Later I learnt, in order for a foreigner to start a company in Malaysia , a transaction of transfering have of the company assets and name under an assigned Malay man by the government.

The racism here is real and crazy. It is no surprise most Malaysian migrating to Taiwan, China Singapore , Thailand and some western countries.

I hate racism. Recently I heard news about western countries still have the hatred against Asians which I abort the idea of migrating there. But in my country Asians are hating other kind of Asians before for being different Asian.

May be I should just get my arse back to Mongolia (where my ancestors will be )

Fuck me I'm pissed. This sprint, my tech lead has been away and a senior dev has been covering for him. We plan a load of work and distribute stories and we churn threw it quite well. However, my senior dev says let's not deploy until all the works done. I was like, how is it going to be tested? He was like well it will be fine because it's all one test. Bs. We now have 2 days left, tester is getting stressed because they don't know what to test or what's been finished. Scrum master is asking why all of it should be tested at the same time and I'm here like this is fucking dumb. Also the tester decided to start testing with the most complex piece of work, rather than prioritising.

Starting to wonder if I'm just the outsider or whether no one understands that granularity is better.

After 12 years, I finally understood why I liked Dishonored so much. It's basically steampunk Half-Life 2. Let's see:
1. Ominous figure choosing us for a special mission (gman vs. the outsider)
2. A LOT of urban platforming
3. The crisis times; a tyrant is chosen as a temporary ruler
4. Alien-looking structures all over the old city
5. Zombies
Name more!

My org (of which i'm basically CTO) has this administrative tool that a team uses to combat spam and scams, which is quite the problem for us.. the tool was written like 9 years ago, by my predecessor, very quick & dirty and unaesthetic and without input from those who would use it as far as interface or UX... it got modded a little a few years later by a kind of amateur coder who was at the time on the spam control team, and now there's this new maybe slightly less amateur coder guy on the team who has written this amateur tool that scrapes data off our site and massages it and stores it on his own server and then provides a better interface, or so they say.... this is all because for a couple of years people didnt want to "bother me" with a request to improve our internal tool, they thought I was "too busy" doing other things... so instead this outsider has built this stupid thing that lives on his own personal server and so now we have these problems to do with performance, security, privacy for user info, etc etc... someone please shoot me....

I have a good job. I like my job. I keep feeling detached to the job like I am an outsider. I don't have a reason for this. I like the people I work with. They are kind and treat me well.

Inflation depresses me as I feel the crunch though.

Terrence Andrew Davis
He was an unbelievably talented guy. It is sad how his mental illness made him an outsider and imagine things which weren't there, or maybe we are the blinded ones and he saw what code truly could create...
He will always stay in my synapses as "the greatest programmer who has ever lived".

What my ADHD brain looks like to an outsider:

My media player doesn't support ordered chapters, so now I have FreshRSS running on my VPS.

The actual mental process:

> MPC-BE doesn't support ordered chapters with the built-in filters
> I should install the third-party LAV Filters
> Not available on Scoop and I'm never touching Chocolatey again
> I wish I had Linux on this PC instead of Windows, so I could have a proper package manager to handle updates, but I digress
> Sure would be nice if I could find a way to know when this updates.
> Actually, tracking versions for multiple GitHub repos would be really nice.
> I would just subscribe but my email inbox is a mess already and I'd probably fail to see the emails
> GitHub Release pages have their own Atom feeds!
> I don't currently use any feed readers
> Maybe I should self-host a feed reader
> Set up FreshRSS Docker container on my server
> Actually installed the LAV Filters to solve the original problem.

#Suphle Rant 11: Laravel board launch

The launch took almost 2 weeks more than originally slated, because I sought to install it manually, just as an outsider would. Installation steps had been documented, automated tests for the installation tests were passing. When time came to actually execute the binary from the terminal, we went from one obstacle to the other. First, were the relatively minor Composer/Roadrunner issues, eventually resolved by the helpful RR maintainers who sat with me through a Discord server for about 2 hours until their command ran the way I needed it to.

Next was the Psalm scare: One of my value propositions was the guarantee of eliminating all type related bugs in Suphle apps. I intended to use Psalm for that. Wrote tests as usual. Turns out the library behaves differently under conditions differing from raw CLI usage. I resurrected threads I'd opened since December that were left unattended, and with some help from the maintainer, we eventually got it to do what I need it to do.

I was all the more frightened by the fact that Transphporm had caused me to renege on one of my earlier promises. I can only miss so many targets. After this, the docs had to be updated with all the changes effected to accurately integrate those two. Project installation and initialization commands were ran rigorously to ensure all progresses smoothly.

Tagged one final release and suddenly became impatient to launch on our local Laravel group chat where I've been a member for the last 4+ years, where we've had a rollercoaster of emotions. In that time, I've refined my launch speech to suit that audience -- obviously, countless times. Not just a tame "It's my pleasure to announce what I've been working on", but near 40 messages going into details about the inner workings, why it was built, how it compares. An expose that dove deeper than I would anywhere else.

I scheduled a time for them to tune in and got some encouraging anticipation. Ended up deflated after posting the whole thing. Only about 5 persons interacted. 1 (who I've chatted with outside the board) was quite enthusiastic. Feverishly checked the docs but commented it was overwhelming and he'd need more time. Already starred the repository.

For some context, there are give or take 250 members on that board. Not all are active but activity there easily reaches a crescendo when the topic discussed is about inanities like what 3rd party services to use for SMS, how to receive salaries from abroad, or job openings. I was optimistic when the acquaintance mentioned above published a payment library and met a riotuous welcome as one of their own. Maybe, they are simply not fond of me and the speech should have been passed off to someone else.

I checked Packagist installs -- not more 10. For 3 years, I'd been hyped up for that night; but for some reason, the audience I considered myself closest to flopped, woefully. Thankfully, this isn't the main launch. I'm still holding out hope for that. If it fails, I would have sunk an immeasurable amount of effort and time, that nobody will compensate me for. That is the one place I go to see those more advanced than me in PHP. I constantly learn there and find stimulating conversations there.

Now, I can no longer predict reception from other presentations. All I can do now is hope

Once upon a time in the bustling city of Techville, there lived a talented web developer named Alex. Known for their exceptional coding skills and innovative designs, Alex had a reputation as a brilliant but often solitary worker. Despite their immense talent, they often struggled with social interactions and found it challenging to connect with their colleagues.

One sunny morning, as Alex arrived at the sleek offices of WebWizards Inc., they noticed a new face amidst the sea of familiar coworkers. Her name was Lily, a warm and friendly individual with an infectious smile. Alex couldn't help but be drawn to her positive energy and kind nature.

Over time, as they worked on various projects together, Alex and Lily formed an unexpected bond. Lily's patience and willingness to collaborate made their partnership seamless. She recognized Alex's expertise and valued their creative input, which helped foster a deep sense of mutual respect.

As their professional relationship grew, Alex began to see beyond the surface of the company they worked for. They realized that WebWizards Inc. was more than just a business; it was a family of talented individuals who genuinely cared about one another. The company fostered an inclusive and supportive environment, encouraging personal growth and celebrating achievements.

One day, overwhelmed by gratitude for both Lily and the company they worked for, Alex decided to express their feelings. They sat down and poured their heart out, typing a heartfelt message of appreciation and admiration. Alex couldn't contain their excitement as they hit the "Send" button, eagerly awaiting a response.

To their delight, Lily responded promptly with overwhelming joy and gratitude. She confessed that she had also felt a strong connection with Alex and considered them an invaluable asset to the team. Furthermore, she shared that the supportive culture and caring nature of WebWizards Inc. had made her job more fulfilling and enjoyable.

The two coworkers became closer friends, their collaboration flourishing both in and out of the office. Alex's once-rare smiles became more frequent, and their confidence grew. They no longer felt like an outsider but an integral part of a wonderful community.

Together, Alex and Lily continued to create outstanding web projects, surpassing expectations and leaving their clients amazed. Their passion and dedication were fueled by the genuine camaraderie they shared with their colleagues at WebWizards Inc.

As time passed, Alex realized that their journey as a web developer had been transformed not only by their skills but also by the amazing people they had the privilege to work with. They learned that a kind coworker and a supportive company could make a world of difference, turning an ordinary job into an extraordinary experience.

And so, the tale of Alex, Lily, and the remarkable WebWizards Inc. serves as a reminder that in the vast realm of work, the bonds we form and the culture we foster can be as impactful as the tasks we accomplish.