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Best: "If an AI could replace your job at this company but we would keep you on the payroll, what would you do with your time?"
Worst: "So, you are here for the position of front-end SQL developer?"6 -
I was taking an introductory programming course. One assignment was to do a little payroll program, including some data validation. The program was supposed to accept terminal input and send output back to either the console or a printer.
Suddenly the printer began spewing out paper like crazy. One of the students (a particularly mouthy woman) had programmed a less-than-helpful error message ("YOU ARE WRONG") and then not provided any exit from the error-checking logic -- the program just re-read the last (failing) input and re-tested it. All in all, it was a very nice infinite loop.
After spitting through about fifty pages of "YOU ARE WRONG," somebody cut power to the printer, and the instructor had to flush the print queue manually. He went back to the student and asked if she had tested the program by sending the output to the console before trying to print it, and she said, yes, she had tested it on the console and ended up with a screen full of "YOU ARE WRONG" messages. Why, then, had she sent her output to the printer? "I thought I would be daring!"
7 -
HR: Hey we heard about all of the apps you are building and we were wondering if you could build one for us too
Dev: Well I’d have to run it by my manager first, what kind of app were you looking to build?
HR: Ok basically it’s a button that when you press it it completes the list of daily tasks that normally take us all day everyday like payroll and attendance reporting.
Dev: You…. want me to…automate your entire job away?
HR: No! We would be the ones to push the button😡.
Dev: I….. I’ll…. I will pass that along.4 -
Wow. THE CEO JUST DID AN EMPATHIC SPEECH BECAUSE OUR PAYROLL GOT DELAYED.
He ran out of money. Begging for us to be pressured and bear his child that's even dead by now(his projects).
I guess someone said that it's already a sinking ship. I have to row my own boat and find a new course.13 -
FUCK THEM FOR CHANGING MY PAYROLL.
MY GROSS RATE DROPPED 50$. AND THAT'S NOT WHAT WE AGREED ON. FUCK THAT COMPANY. I'LL JUST GO AWOL AND NEVER MENTION ANY OF THEIR COMPANY AGAIN.11 -
Company top execs: "We need to optimize our costs and reduce our expenditure by x€ to keep the profit margin at acceptable levels for the shareholders"
YOU ARE PUSHING OUT SHIT PRODUCTS DAY IN AND DAY OUT THAT YOU FUCKING SUITS THINK WILL BE THE NEXT BIG THING BUT NOONE REALLY WANTS OR NEEDS. WE ALREADY HAVE A TON OF THOSE BORN-DEAD SHITCAKES HANGING AROUND ABD NEW ONES ARE ALREADY BEING PREPARED FOR LAUNCH.
"OPTIMIZE COSTS"? HOW ABOUT YOU STOP PRODUCING SHIT AND STICK TO YOUR FUCKING CORE BUSINESS MODEL!!!
"OPTIMIZE COSTS"? WE HAVE A ZERG OF OLD FUCKS, WHO ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE FUCKING SMS TO START THE NEXT TECH REVOLUTION, ON OUR PAYROLL. ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS PLAY SUDOKU IN THE KITCHEN AND DISCUSS TECHNIQUES ON HOW TO RAISE GOATS!!!
"NO MONEY TO GIVE A PAYRISE TO DEVELOPERS"? WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCKING GET RID OF THE USELESS DUDES BASICALLY DOING THEIR TENURE AND CLOSE SOME OF THESE FUCKTARDED PRODUCTS THAT 4 PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKING COMPANY USE BUT NEED A TEAM OF FUCKING 20 TO MAINTAIN! NO!!! THEY WILL NOT BE THE NEXT BIG THING! NO!!! ANYTHING YOU SHITCAKES WHO THINK MOBILE APPS IS THE "NEW EMERGING MARKET" WILL EVER CREATE THE NEXT FUCKING BIG THING!!!!!
STICK TO YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS AND STOP CREATING USELESS SHIT THATS MAADE BY FUCKING USELESS PEOPLE!!!!
FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! -
Yaaay, I received my last payroll with extras. Now to pay all stuff to start as a freelancer!
This is a big step for me and I wanted to share it with you
Let's go!4 -
Elon musk has shown himself to be a terrible person, a worse manager and someone who hasn't a clue of what a code review is. A summarily fires so many people that he can't find someone to open the doors for his big in person meeting or the vet the badges. He offers 3 months termination pay or you can work 12 hours a day 7 days a week hardcore. But none of the payroll people are around anymore either. Critical subsystems have not a single engineer left to work on them. He's paranoid that employees will sabotage the software. But I think he's doing such a good job it would be impossible to tell that anyone else was helping him.
An engineer wrote a prescient seven page report listing problems ahead including user verification. So Elon twit-fired him.
Also entirely predictable is the stress that the world cup will put on the system beginning today, I believe. He doesn't "like" microservices.
I work for the psychiatrist once who barely needed to sleep. Maybe Elon can function with 12-hour days week in week out. But it's cool to think you're going to squeeze substantially more work out of people by doubling their hours. More likely you will more than double their errors and what will that do to you budget? 50 years ago IBM determined that the best way to improve programmer productivity was to give each one their own office.
I can't believe he's whining over spending 13 million dollars a year on food. That is so far from being a strategic item. Soapbox out.28 -
In a meeting yesterday working through our WebAPI coding standards, starting from File -> New project..etc..etc.. and ironing out some of the left-or-right decisions so we can have a consistent coding style, working in a meeting room with an overhead projector and sharing keyboard around with one another.
Then we hit the routing 'rules' in the WebApiConfig, "api/{controller}/{id}"…
DevMgr: "Do we need the 'api' prefix? It seems redundant."
Ralph: "Yes it's needed. Prefixing the controllers with 'api' is industry best practice. Otherwise, how is anyone to know it's a web api"
Prancer: "Yea, it's part of the REST standard."
Me: "I don't think so. That is only part of the Asp.Net routing rule. We can put anything we want or take anything out."
DevMgr: "Yea, it looks silly. All the new services are going to be business process specific."
Ralph: "That's how everyone does it. It's kind of the point of why REST services are called WebApi"
Prancer: "What's the point of doing any of this work if we're not going to follow industry standards."
Me: "I understand if the service is part of larger web site, but we're developing standalone services. Prefixing routes with 'api' is redundant. I mean who are these 'everyone' you're talking about?"
<ralph rolls his eyes>
Ralph: "Lets see …uhhh… Netflix?. They're kinda a big deal."
Me: "Like I said, it's an integral part of their site and the services they provide. That's fine. I'm talking about the 12 other 3rd party services we integrate with. None of them have 'api' on any of their routes."
Prancer: "We're talking about serious web services."
Me: "Last time I checked, UPS is a big and serious service."
Ralph: "Their services are a fracking joke" – he didn't say fracking.
Me: "Our payroll system, our billing system, billion dollar companies, didn't have '/api' prefix anywhere. Heck, even that free faxing service we used for a while was a dead-simple routing path."
<I take the keyboard away from Ralph, remove the 'api' from the route.>
Me: "There. Done. Now, lets talk about error handling.."
Rest of the meeting Ralph and Prancer don't say much of anything, arms crossed…I swear Ralph looked like he was going to cry.
This morning I catch my boss…
Me: "What did you think of the meeting? I thought Ralph was going to take a swing at me when I took the keyboard away from him."
DevMgr: "Oh yes…I almost laughed out loud….blows my freaking mind how worked up people get about crap that doesn't matter. Api..or not…who the frack cares. Just make it consistent"
Me: "Exactly…I didn't care either way, but I enjoyed calling out that nonsense."
DevMgr: "Yes..waaay too much."
If I didn't call them on their BS and the 'standard' allowed to continue, I can bet my paycheck when the subject comes up in a few months (another mgr asks 'isn't this api prefix redundant?') Ralph and Prancer will be the first to say "Yea, its stupid. We fought really hard to remove it from the standard...its not our fault...its <insert scapegoat> fault." -
Was running a script to create ~50 config tables for a project. Didn't check the connection on the window in SSMS. Ran the script against the production payroll db. Panic ensued.
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Bloody effing hell...
> Senior leaves company payroll
> senior level stuff falls on my desk
> I've been working on a completely different product for almost a year, so I'm still kinda trying to get reacquainted with the product I'm a regular dev resource of
> feel completely lost
> try to implement the feature
> realize it requires a certain package
> package breaks the whole application, completely
> try to debug
> despair
It's this kind of days, when the imposter's kicks in. I feel like this should be a pretty simple feature to implement, and I'm just missing something that's right there before my eyes. I'm trying to remember this sat on the senior's desk for nigh a year, and I know he at least at some point actually tried implementing it, so me being not far above a junior shouldn't feel ashamed.3 -
I didn't have to buy any accounting or payroll or any kind of software for my company as I can make it all by my self.20
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So since starting my new role I have had nothing to rant about. That changed today.
HR waited til one day past payroll cut off to issue my paperwork. Meaning I get paid at my old rate this month and then get back pay in my November pay slip.
Those mother cunting bastards waited one day extra to screw me for the whole month.
I've been waiting since the end of September for these twat monkeys to get off their rotting arses and sort this and they do it one day late.
It's a good job that I don't know where they are located, nothing good would be waiting for them if I did.
Edit:
As this got cut from the tags:
HR please kindly go find a rotting puss filled dick and shove it up your lazy fucking arse you pitiful wastes of human meat bags.1 -
Most unprofessional experience at work?
Check out my previous rants. With so many, it would be difficult to pick just one.
Not sure if I've told this one before. 'Caleb' was part of a team responsible for migrating financial data from a legacy (DOS-based) system to our new system.
Because of our elevated security (and the data being plain text) Caleb had access to the entire company's payroll (including VP salary, bonuses, etc).
Solidifying my belief that that salaries should be private between the employee and the employer, Caleb discovered he was making considerably less than his peers (even a few devs that he had seniority over), and the green monster 'Jealosly' took over his professionalism. Caleb decided to tell everyone making the same and less than him, the salaries of the other (higher paid) devs, managers and VPs.
Nobody understood at the time, but these folks started to behave erratically , like showing up late, making comments like "Why should I document that? Make 'money bags' over there do it", etc and so on.
Soon at review time, Caleb decided to use his newly discovered ammunition to 'barter' for a higher salary by telling the manager if he didn't make $$$, he would send an email to the entire company containing everyone's salary.
The manager fired Caleb on the spot and escorted him out the building (Caleb never had chance to follow thru with that threat)
When word got out about Caleb's firing (and everybody knew why), those other employees started showing up on time and stopped complaining about doing their job.5 -
Do you remember what kind of questions and information you were given *after* being hired as a programmer?
For example, in the service industry, they might tell you about payroll, how they do scheduling, what a typical day looks like for your role, etc.12 -
Heyy ranters! I'm starting a junior job in my country and I wanted to know what is your average payroll for a junior position in your country?19
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So.. i have been doing internship with a good startup for last 2 months. It was supposed to be a 3 month internship and then maybe a job offer. I accepted this , but with a disclaimer that i will be taking leaves for exams.
They looked like they didn't liked this condition, saying "we won't be giving pay for those days" , "you will need your manager's approval", etc, but later i took 5-6 continuous leaves for my papers and my manager( aka the ceo) wouldn't even read my approval mail ( i did got deductions for those leaves tho, but i was fine with it )
Now the situation is that my final end term exams are coming up. They are supposed to go on for 15 days somewhere in December beginning, but i also need an extra 10-15 days to cover the syllabus for it. Apart from those, there are other college stuff like Second Sessionals, internal practicals ,minor project report submission , etc are also coming up, that are supposed to take anywhere from 1 to 5-6 continuous days in the first weeks of November.
So i asked my company for 2 months of leave to handle my college environment. The tasks assigned to me are incomplete , but i am well versed in those and might complete it if i had more time. I gave them an option that i will resume my work from January and complete my 3 months of internship ( i currently am about to complete 2 months , November would have been the 3rd) , but they said that they are "freeing me" in the October only ( i guess this means that my internship is being terminated and am off from company's payroll). They also asked me to contact company once all exam stuff is over, but yesterday i got suddenly removed from the company's slack group. I am not sure how to look at this.
They have also asked me to prepare a report on what i have done. Now i can send them a report like what i would have given to my college : containing more useless info and a few points on my work . Or i could provide them with a deep report on what i did each day, what are the bugs , what are the resources that i found , what are the things that need to be enhanced, links to important groups and people... Etc . I have so much of information that i fear they might hire someone else to complete all stuff that i have started and my material would give him a kickstart.
But on the other hand , it was their office that i worked in, their ideas that i built upon, so i feel a moral obligation to provide all assistance to my replacement.
What should i do?
(tldr : company asking for a report on work you did during internship that was supposed to be converted to job . wwyd?)8 -
sometimes its better to hold it back when a customer says you need 2 months just to finish the payroll+hr system in a way that it makes you wanna kill him so badly but your response is a faint smile which humbly says fuck you piss of shit1
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Over the last few weeks, I've learned two things about the head of my division:
1. They "don't care about code quality"
2. They want to try a "low-code" approach for the web frontend of a completely custom piece of what is currently desktop software
This is despite the fact that we have three full time developers with a wide range of both front and back end skills on the payroll, a deep library of existing components for various frontend frameworks, a custom CSS library, and a decent deployment pipeline for frontend code.
But sure, let's try low-code. Let's see how far that gets us. -
All these routes, and still im not yet done. More power to devs whom client dont realize how tedious to validate thez things!
4 -
eTime Xpress by Celayix Software
Quite possibly the worst time and attendance software on the market. The only reason the company is still using it is because the big cheese refuses to pay any per user fees for any product whatsoever.
It requires an installation of Ericom because all supervisors must log in to schedule employees and record hours for payroll.
Printing is a nightmare to support because you're essentially printing through RDP and all print drivers for everyone's assortment of crappy printers must be installed on the server.
The software supports SOAP API calls, but it can't handle more than three concurrent requests without barfing, so you have to code your application around that...
I could go on... -
A friend asked me a few days ago if I could maybe be interested in making their small company a website and accompanying CMS, because none of the out-of-the-box solutions seem to suit their needs. I agreed to think about it - at least let's see what the requirements are and so on, and see if I could and should do it or maybe redirect and point them to a better direction. Always help a friend in need is my motto. And to clarify, with these people I can be sure they're not considering this a friend favor (i.e. doing something for free, or for really cheap), but these people tend to be willing to pay relatively well.
But to the question: I've never done freelance work on this field - I have absolutely no idea how to evaluate the value of my work, e.g. how much should I ask? And what are the things I should take into account and think of differently versus being on full-time payroll in some company?1 -
So... i discovered a "feature" in our portals and i probably fucked up.
basically it was a bug/feature where i was able to see a guy's offer+ctc , from our team
idk how, but it's a combined employee attendence/referrals/interview/payroll portal and i was just exploring while marking my attendance. funnily, it was just for a giy that i interviewed and the one who got selected and joined
recently we were having breakfast in office and i accidentally blurted out this feature. i thought that they might have known too, but turns out they don'T.
later I checked and this guy's letter was now not showing , indicating that it was some kind of bug that got fixed. now am not sure what to do, since this looks like some kind of fireable offence. should i let someone know this? the hierarchy above me is : SSE, TL , past TL( now tl of other team but he was the one who took the 2nd round ) and VP4 -
I am working on a small project for school and want to share it with you. Can you give me some feedback on it? It is a payroll system in which you can register, view and delete employees and also generate payslips. Is my first ever project and I am somehow proud of it but I want to see what optimizations I can make to it if you are so kind to spare a few minutes of your busy life. o7 commanders :P
Here is the link to the GitHub: https://github.com/iiulian8/...7 -
I've been working here for a little under a month keep hearing about them not remembering passwords, or not being able to access something due to a rarely used forgotten password, so I decided to Set up a shared password manager for the team using keepass and a generic intranet setup, pulled a password csv from one random on the floor person's chrome to start with. Turns out they ALL sync data from the owners account, and the owners saved passwords include HER payroll login info, and the accounts for ebay, amazon, etsy, basically anywhere you can buy anything....
yeah I think this is gonna need to be a conversation with her soon.8 -
Was given 24 hours to come up with a payroll solution
opensource or develop one
any opensource resource to help ?7
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