I'm impressed about how everyones english among DevRant is nearly flawless - it's users are based all around the globe and still, I know nobody in real life who is even near fluent in speaking English (fellow German potatoes will probably know that feel)

Awesome! 😀

I'm currently on my way to Japan on vacation.
This is how it went so far:
😁 - Arriving at airport early and excited
🤔 - Find out our flight is delayed. Oh well it might now be by a lot
😥 - Find out that it's 2 hours delayed and we will miss our next flight
😤 - Arrive at Frankfurt airport, and stands in line for 2 hours to the service desk
😡 - Arrive at service desk to get told that we have to go to a special service desk to get rebooked
🤬 - Get a ticket with our number in the queue. 125 people in front of us.
😴 - 4 and a half hour later, get get informed we will need to stay at a hotel for the night, and that we'll be flying at 6 pm the next day
😑 - Get to hotel and crashes (this is by 1 am now)
🤬 - Wakes up 6 hours later because we have a room right next to a construction site

Pro tips for Lufthansa and the imbeciles in their management and staff:
1. Inform people. You fucking knew the flight was this delayed, and you could actually have given people a choice at the beginning of their travel.
Now you had to put 100+ people in a hotel.

2. Bring food to people. Spending so much time in an airport leaves people very hungry. (Pssst, chocolate, candy and French potatoes are NOT food)

All in all, just fuck Lufthansa and their handling of this situation.

Fucking great start to the vacation. I'm already more exhausted than if I just went to work...

OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU REWRITE A FUCKING PIECE OF CODE AND DON'T MAINTAIN ITS FUNCTIONALITY?
ARE YOU FUCKING MAD????

JUST SPENT 1 FUCKING HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE FUCK THE DATA WASN'T BEING PASSED TO REDUX STORE!

YEAH, UNIT TESTING SURE IS A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT THAT HAS MASHED POTATOES FOR A BRAIN!

GO ROT IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

NOW IF I DON'T FIX THIS SHIT MY ASS IS ON THE LINE BECAUSE I MADE THE FUCKING FUNCTIONALITY THAT YOU BROKE?? NO FUCKING WAY!

I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE MY BOSS, I'M GONNA GIT BLAME THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF ANYONE PISSES ME OFF!

Went to recruit some interns at a CS school in my area. Talked to their teacher in charge of internships and asked her about their students skills in Java. She said they all are very solid in JavaScript. I left immediately.

!rant
What is your editor/coding environment fashion setup?

Here is mine and I am very proud of it:

Termite terminal + dvtm (like tmux) + Nano with semi-custom syntax files.

Left language is C, right top C2 (c2lang.org), right bottom my build-system

Anyone care to explain why programs nowadays use so much bloody RAM? We went to the moon on what amounted to a bunch of potatoes wired to each other, Linux (a whole bloody OS) with a graphical interface consumes only a couple hundred MB of RAM, but my IDE needs 1+GB?

Seriously, unless you're handling very large amounts of data (like a high res image or doing some insanely crazy math, I doubt there's any need for such high usage. I get it, 8/16GB is commonplace, but that doesn't mean more should be used for shits and giggles...

Me: *builds smol website for blogging purposes*
...
Hmm 🤔 so I need to be able to find a way to display properly to mobile clients as well, the desktop style is shite on my phones... How about going for all-screen and less than 1440px width? I mean there don't exist any phones with over 1440px width and I'm sure that everyone is now using 1920px width on their desktop panels (please keep the portrait desktop monitor setups out for now 😢)... Aight, looks nice now in both desktop and mobile. Awesome!

Few days later...
Le Telegram inbox: *ping*!
User: um yeah your font is way too large
Me: *looks at screenshot* (at least it was an actual screenshot, not a picture) well that's the mobile view.. why are you using that, what's your resolution?
User: 1024x768
*Facepalm.jpg*

Why are you doing this to yourself and why are you doing this to me 😭

!rant

Cursee Station : The Keyboard

Prologue : I found /r/battlestations first and then the famous devdesk campaign came. I have been surviving with two potatoes laptops for years. One potato is big and one is small. Nevertheless both are 🥔. All in all, I made up my mind to own a proper dev desk. (even if not perfect)

And I'm starting with having a good Keyboard.

Requirements:
- mechanical
- minimal
- space saving
- wired
- backlit
- maintainable
- durable
- less than $90

Chosen One:
Drevo Tyrfing V2 Ten-keyless RGB Mechanical Keyboard

I have asked my gf who is temporarily at Japan to buy it from amazon.co.jp for me.

May I hear reviews and feedbacks from anyone who have used it?

Fried potatoes with mushrooms.

In Russian, if potatoes was fried with the mushrooms, the word "fried" (жаренная) contains two letters "n".

If potatoes was fried on their own and only then you added mushrooms, the word "fried" (жареная) contains one letter "n".

You can replace frying, mushrooms and potatoes with different things, but as soon as the concept of "processing ingredients together versus independently" persists, the rule applies.

One of my colleges complained that the remote vm he uses to test his Java-Code is so slow that he thinks it's actually just a potatoe.
I said to him... Well you know... 3 Billion Devices run Java.

Fucking randsomware ecrypted 3 fricken servers in our god damn office for the 2nd time this year. These plebs need to learn to use the internet.

Customer complains that the deployed desktop app is slow at site x.
I check it out with users at site x, and indeed, it does have a delay when trying to connect to a share on a server.
Checks with users at site y and z, no issues.
After a bit of digging, the resolve of a DNS record is most likely the culprit.
Send the ticket to the customer network team to investigate.
Get it back after an hour.

"We have pinged the DNS name, and it responds fine, there must be a bug in the application".

Oh and also, I wrote this rant at work, in my head, with a lot more cursewords involed.

Rant from a previous gig I just remembered that reignited my fury lol

Suddenly, CSV exports became massively critical to our product's success. "They were always part of the plan, if we don't have them the product is a failure". Plot twist, they were NOT always part of the plan. And our backend is not at all designed for querying the combinations of data you're asking for.

Nevermind we've been entirely focused these last few months on making the new user experience as slick as possible because "our customers want cake, not meat and potatoes". Forget the fact that, in order to meet the deadlines, my team coupled the backend a little too much with the needs of the frontend because otherwise integrations took too long. We NEED fucking CSV exports of everything you can fucking imagine.

No. Fuck you. If you want it, it's gonna take at least 2 engineers and a month, and according to you we only have a few weeks of runway. No, I'm not compromising jack shit, this is the reality we live in. This is going to go nuclear in production if we don't do it right. Either give us the month and bankrupt the company, or fucking drop it.

Or...you could go cry to the frontend team for solutions. And convince them to page through ALL of the data and generate CSVs in the fucking browser. Sure, it sort of works in QA with the miniscule amount of data we have there, but how'd that work out for you in prod?

Jesus fucking christ why are you people such incompetent morons, and how the fuck did you become executives??

It's nearly May. I am therefore going to start referring to apples as "tree potatoes" whenever possible.

I gonna puke if I see more whining on android studio from a guy having 8GB of ram and running IDE emulator and a browser. To remind everyone, decent android phones have 4GB of ram or more. They have memory cards with io speeds comparable to SSD. They have 10 core CPUs. And still, people want to develop on potatoes.

!dev but is somewhat tech related

So I was like 7. I was hanging out after school with a friend who's mom worked there. We were in her office. So there was a song l really liked are the time (Song of the South by Alabama) and it was on a CD.

So I put that CD in the computer and play my favorite song. Well literally 15 seconds after a line in the song, which was "Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth," played, my cousin who was in another teacher's office decided to
prank call us.

What did they say when I picked the phone up and said hey? "Sir your order for 1,000 pounds of sweet potatoes is ready to be delivered."

I nearly shit a brick as I slammed the phone down and started freaking out. I ran to where he was and bust in there to see themn laughing really hard

Now I look back and laugh, but I genuinely
thought that by somehow playing that song ordered a lot of potatoes.

And the wild part of the story is that of literally all the things they could say, they chose sweet potatoes. Like it still blows our minds that that's the choice he made.

A microwave can cook potatoes in ten minutes!? Why the fuck did nobody tell me?

A lot of workplaces only offer a microwave and no oven, and barley a kitchen to prepare stuff.

Hence, I was rarely bringing in my own food as I worked under the assumption that I had to prepare it at home and just heat it up at work. And potatoes take round about ~40 minutes the way I make them (20 min to cook, 20 min to steep).

Now, I will be using the shit out of those technical wonders and save a lot of money in the progress, as I used to go to restaurants almost daily for lunch time. Heck, I may even buy myself one for home use.

Oh, now I remember why!
This is what I get by being brought up by a somewhat esoteric mother.

"Microwave are no good, the taint the food."

No, they do not. It's science!

Wife asks me to peel potatoes. I know I am expected to peel potatoes AND carrots but I don't operate by that logic and if I did I would feel dirty inside

Studying Nim for me is like mashing two potatoes with one fork, except it's raw and the fork is made out of plastic. (Still don't understand C/C++)

Hallelujah semi-drunk again.
Had schnitzel with potatoes, bacon and sauce.
Jägermeister of course, with some imported holiness of Almdudler.
Good Friday indeed.

Hindersi Magronä recipe:

- Butter
- 2-3 Onions, diced
- 300g Potatoes, diced
- 350g Maccheroni or just pasta
- 1 table spoon of dried chicken stock dissolved in water
- 20-30ml of hot water
- 30ml Heavy Cream
- 300g Parmigiano Reggiano
- Diced Bacon

- Coat a pan with butter
- Add onions, bacon and potatoes
- Cook untill onions are lightly golden
- Add the stock and stir
- Add the pasta
- Add enough hot water so its level is ~1-2cm above the pasta
- Cook untill the pasta is "al dente" and let the water evaporate untill ~1cm above the pan
- Add the heavy cream and cheese
- Cook and stir for 2min

Et voilà, Mac N Cheese with extra steps

fuck my amount of things I have to write is exponentially increasing as I fail to keep up with all the features i need fucking hell

at least I bought groceries before shops closed today. gotta go through my potatoes and make sure they're not bad and throw out all the bad ones and eat any sus ones first

fuck I haven't even began exploring how to do a TUI. I need a few days to explore it but the things I need yesterday are stressing me out so I don't know how I could calm down enough to have a nice deep dive into it and gain expertise if I'm so distracted all the time but coming up with more fucking things I need, fuck

how do i

Weeeee steak and wine and potatoes and more wine lol

today is such a good day I'm literally paranoid that something is about to go wrong

and this will maintain for like 4-5 days because my roommate left and the weather is amazing, both cool and sunny

nothing is blowing up, my health is maintaining, I just hauled 5 kg of potatoes several miles and it made me feel great, then accidentally made too much food but easily ate all of it. hell yeah

my plants are thriving, I already collected seeds for next year, and new flowers are budding and such

and I keep redesigning and making headway in my evil villain plan

and investments are doing nicely

and I have everything scheduled and done for the next half-month

about the only thing that isn't done is laundry. it's actually bugging me but who does laundry before a heatwave instead of at the end of one

am I gonna fixate on this now just to ruin my mood
hope not, fuck

if you're having funner you're winning, son 😏

browsed through somewhere people were confessing things about their life. the community there is about something else so it's an interesting peek to who is there and how they are as people outside that area. man some depressing shit, or plain vile shit, evil shit

people have hope for the best for themselves and it doesn't work so they go crazy sometimes

some in there thought if they stayed there and toughed it out and were "successful" they would feel better. they didn't. I see that so much in the comments. people thinking if only they were successful they would feel better, but their problems have nothing to do with their level of success. it's strange humans do this

somehow every time I see depression I get happy

life will roll you, but are you having fun, son?
the more pain you see, the more you understand
so let's make talking about pain illegal

earlier I found out the first time my roommate realized if you pushed your body you eventually can't feel how tough it is to move it was when he was in his mid 20s on a college field trip... really wtf?
I walked a few miles to a far away grocery store to buy potatoes and hauled a couple bags home today. last time I did this I felt great after, which is what spurred the earlier conversation cuz I was telling him I was gonna go do it again.
well when I got back... he was doing dishes and literally crying... and he doesn't do dishes... because it's too physically tough for him to do his own dishes... so I guess knowing I was gonna do this walk with several kgs of potatoes he decided to try it out...
I told him the difference is maybe cuz since ever I could remember, my mom had taken me on errands with her like pre me being 3 years old, and we'd walk like 6-8 hours so I had learned real quick if you just power through physically you eventually feel nothing and can do it all day long

how could a dude not know that until he's in his 20s lol

so much of life is just like this though. it's funny. nothing real is spoken, nobody does anything, nothing ever happens. there's even war tourism people complaining current wars are too boring

but are you having fun, son?

My in-laws seem allergic to keeping fruit on the fridge. In a 40° heat. No wonder half the fruit are spoiled by next morning.

My algorithm for storing produce:

Is it fresh produce? => (No) use another algo. (X)
Is it potatoes or onions? => (Yes) put it in a bowl in a closet (X)
::: Put it all in the fridge, dammit.

From MorningBrew newsletter

Social Medias Plan Dinner in Group Chat

Facebook: Hey everyone, hoping to plan din for tonight, how do people feel about Thai? Also my handsome son just graduated look how handsome he is

LinkedIn: I endorse your leadership skills in choosing the dinner spot

*MySpace has left the conversation*

Facebook: Thank god lol

Twitter: Well this dinner blew up. I've got nothing to promote, so follow me on SoundCloud

Vine: Haha potatoes

*Vine has left the conversation*

Facebook: Where did Vine go? Vine was hilarious :( also my son is so handsome he got a job

LinkedIn: Where does your handsome son work? Hoping to connect further. Best

Twitter: No idea where Vine went lmao

Venmo: i'll pay you for "dinner"

Snapchat: y so ~sketch~ Venmo

Venmo: My mom has this

Snapchat: tru

Yik Yak: All of you were horrible in your respective high school plays. Everyone laughed at you

Facebook: Can we pivot to Russian for tonight? No reason

Twitter: Look facebook is the evil one

Facebook: JK can't do tonight anymore guys going to Congress. Also my son got a promotion

LinkedIn: Congrats, Handsome Son!