That's a scary pumpkin

Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.

[Checking...]

Me: It's running in Drupal

Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.

Me: Who the hell is "she"?

Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]

Me: Is she a developer?

Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.

Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.

Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.

Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.

Owner: What the fuck is terminal?

Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?

Owner: You sure are grouchy today.

Me: Yep...

For those that celebrate Halloween, and for those that can simply appreciate when being a dev IS life... :)

Me trying to find a good risotto recipe.
Sister-in-law, PhD: What about pumpkin or courgette and salmon?
Me: ...
SIL: ...
Me: Could you add some parentheses?
SIL: (Pumpkin) or (courgette and salmon)?
Me: Much clearer, thanks! Go for courgette and salmon.

The scariest pumpkin

Credit - the product hunt twitter

so I'm married to a developer. he works at horrible boring forever projects he is trying to make me apreachiate. well fine. I can do that. sure. but for fucks sake, why on earth does a web developer need to work weekends?! and why can't he get time off? why is it even remotely important if the shop is up a today or a week later? who the fuck cares if people have to wait a week longer to buy fucking pumpkin oil online?! who buys fucking pumpkin oil online anyway?

Me: "Oh, I see the problem.... Ctrl ^C"

App: "Received interrupt signal. Ignoring."

Me: "That's not how this works. I tell you to quit, and you quit. M'kay pumpkin? ... Ctrl ^C Ctrl ^C Ctrl ^C ....."

App: "Received interrupt signal. Ignoring."
App: "Received interrupt signal. Ignoring."
App: "Received interrupt signal. Ignoring."

Me: "Stubborn piece of crap."

App: "Crash."

Lighten up mf'ers, its almost pumpkin season! 🍃🍁🎃🥮🦃

Day... or... umm... Night 6 of devWholesome...

Happy Halloween folks! Today we celebrate spooking ourselves on purpose to feel anything but despair in the hell that is quarantine. Go watch a scary movie or have a small little halloween party with your family! Comment on this post if you celebrate halloween, what you are dressed up as, and what you are doing to celebrate. And as always make the most out of your day... I mean... night!

How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch.

Fuck all of that ego shit, that lil boys club garbage. Fucking douchebag. Don't project your insecurities on me you fucking pissbaby. I gladly invite you to eat my great pumpkin, dumptruck-sized, volumptuous ass. I hope god sends millions of ants after you and they eat you slowly. Why cant you just be nice to others.