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Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.
Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.35 -
Client didn't pay?
Don't worry, I have come across this beautiful repo with a great idea :P
https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid14 -
programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.
please code like it.7 -
devRant, the only positive and supportive online community for programmers.
until you mention an OS.
then all bets are off.16 -
dad: what the hell do you do again?
me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.
me 90,000th time: internet stuff.
me 83,881,178th time: computers!4 -
When you get a day off and you want to work on a personal project, but your spouse has other plans.
8 -
Got some swag in the mail today.
I was told I could get a refund for the hat if it was too small. I literally have the biggest head in the world and it fits me fine.
For those who complained, did you try taking it off and on again?
6 -
interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?
me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
interviewer:😐....9 -
When i was studying Engineering, I used to wonder how programmers works straight 3,4 days without sleep and all.
With today, I completed my 3rd day, with just 2 hours sleep in the last 70 hours.
Now I get it,
This is.. passion,
This is.. love,
This is Life.16 -
devRant is a place to rant. Not a journal of best practices.
Can I just rant without giving a long winded backstory?
Do I have to explain myself to prevent people from commenting that the problem must be me?
If you read a rant, and you can't relate to it sympathetically.
Move along! That rant is not for you!
When people are trying to vent no one wants to see your snippy little comment about how 'unprofessional' they are being.8 -
client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.
me: ok, how is it wrong?
client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.
me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.
client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.
me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?
clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.
repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.
client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?
me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.3 -
🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.
Translation
🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.22 -
see you in hell mac mini, the raspberry pi is taking your place connected to the tv.
when $25 of Linux out performs $300 of apple.3 -
Pair programing on project with friend.
We both feel like the other person is doing all the work and we are not really helping.
Twice the developer power, twice the imposter syndrome.1 -
In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'
I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑4 -
Our website once had it’s config file (“old” .cgi app) open and available if you knew the file name. It was ‘obfuscated’ with the file name “Name of the cgi executable”.txt. So browsing, browsing.cgi, config file was browsing.txt.
After discovering the sql server admin password in plain text and reporting it to the VP, he called a meeting.
VP: “I have a report that you are storing the server admin password in plain text.”
WebMgr: “No, that is not correct.”
Me: “Um, yes it is, or we wouldn’t be here.”
WebMgr: “It’s not a network server administrator, it’s SQL Server’s SA account. Completely secure since that login has no access to the network.”
<VP looks over at me>
VP: “Oh..I was not told *that* detail.”
Me: “Um, that doesn’t matter, we shouldn’t have any login password in plain text, anywhere. Besides, the SA account has full access to the entire database. Someone could drop tables, get customer data, even access credit card data.”
WebMgr: “You are blowing all this out of proportion. There is no way anyone could do that.”
Me: “Uh, two weeks ago I discovered the catalog page was sending raw SQL from javascript. All anyone had to do was inject a semicolon and add whatever they wanted.”
WebMgr: “Who would do that? They would have to know a lot about our systems in order to do any real damage.”
VP: “Yes, it would have to be someone in our department looking to do some damage.”
<both the VP and WebMgr look at me>
Me: “Open your browser and search on SQL Injection.”
<VP searches on SQL Injection..few seconds pass>
VP: “Oh my, this is disturbing. I did not know SQL injection was such a problem. I want all SQL removed from javascript and passwords removed from the text files.”
WebMgr: “Our team is already removing the SQL, but our apps need to read the SQL server login and password from a config file. I don’t know why this is such a big deal. The file is read-only and protected by IIS. You can’t even read it from a browser.”
VP: “Well, if it’s secured, I suppose it is OK.”
Me: “Open your browser and navigate to … browse.txt”
VP: “Oh my, there it is.”
WebMgr: “You can only see it because your laptop had administrative privileges. Anyone outside our network cannot access the file.”
VP: “OK, that makes sense. As long as IIS is securing the file …”
Me: “No..no..no.. I can’t believe this. The screen shot I sent yesterday was from my home laptop showing the file is publicly available.”
WebMgr: “But you are probably an admin on the laptop.”
<couple of awkward seconds of silence…then the light comes on>
VP: “OK, I’m stopping this meeting. I want all admin users and passwords removed from the site by the end of the day.”
Took a little longer than a day, but after reviewing what the web team changed:
- They did remove the SQL Server SA account, but replaced it with another account with full admin privileges.
- Replaced the “App Name”.txt with centrally located config file at C:\Inetpub\wwwroot\config.txt (hard-coded in the app)
When I brought this up again with my manager..
Mgr: “Yea, I know, it sucks. WebMgr showed the VP the config file was not accessible by the web site and it wasn’t using the SA password. He was satisfied by that. Web site is looking to beat projections again by 15%, so WebMgr told the other VPs that another disruption from a developer could jeopardize the quarterly numbers. I’d keep my head down for a while.”8 -
First time in my life, I contributed to open source repo.
Feeling awesome. Yet to be merged with master.5 -
I have a lifetime membership to Lumosity. Not just do they know my time of death, but with auto renewal turned on I have confirmation of reincarnation. At least once, then existence is null.
2 -
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
So far, this is my inspiration to refactoring the code right after it works as gift to my future self.8 -
Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.
Thanks Best Buy.3 -
*Me feeling productive on a day
Today I am going to start working on the complex part of my proect. Spends 1 hour deciding what all technologies to use , how to implement it, which design patterns to use .
Let's do it
*15 min later
Making some tiny css corrections
*3 hrs later
Making some tiny css corrections
*An eternity later
REALISED DIDN'T SET THE SIZE OF THE PARENT CONTAINER TO 100%
So much for thinking about being productive for today :(((5 -
Guy I just met: so what do you do?
Me: I'm a developer
Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)
Me: so what do you do there?
Guy: sales
Me: oh...
Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.9 -
Coffee and wine are my life coaches.
Start of day
☕coffee: GO GET THEM TIGER!
End of day
🍷Wine: you'll get them tomorrow.1 -
accedently used chmod on chmod so i no longer had permissions to chmod.
thank goodness for remote server images.5 -
Boss: I don't want you spending more than 30 min looking into the problem.
Me: ok
Go back to desk and read or watch some cs training. Maybe related.
Go back to boss.
Me: going to take (over estimate tome) to fix.
Boss: ok.
Go back to desk and fix in less time than estimated.
Look like gold.3 -
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.
Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.1 -
What a fucking year it's been.. and it's only the 4th.
Let's see, I've just split up with my girlfriend of more than 4 years (and she's still living with me), my car got whacked by golf ball sized hail stones (and it's not insured), my back verandah at home turns into a swimming pool with heavy rain (and SA is having record high rainfall this season), and I haven't slept since Sunday night.
FML. 🤦 I need a holiday after the holidays..7 -
me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?
🕛3 hours later.
client: yes, that is correct.
me: 😧2 -
Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!
I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.
Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.8 -
Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.21
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In my office they forced us to use Darwin Box. We need to login and click on clock in once we come to office. Fucking irritated. Who the hell remembers to clock in.
I wrote a simple Python code to clock in and made it as launched jobs.
Automatic clock in. *No Worries* 😅
#ProudToBeDev
Here is github:: https://github.com/Gowtham95india/...5 -
I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk15
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It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.6
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i love programming, but have done too many 12 hour days recently.
spent last two days recharging by doing nothing but play the new Doom game.
i have a great job so my boss supports me.5 -
Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.
One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.2 -
Boss, yesterday: hey, we just got you a Windows 10 machine. Test the app and make sure it works.
Me: kay. (Fast forward20 minutes) I found a hell of a bug.
Boss: what?
Me: the SA disabled scripts on the machine so I can't build.
Boss: Are you serious?
Me: yeah, and he's out until January.6 -
Thanks to devrant , now I can be one those people trying to look social in one those so called meets with personal touch where everyone is scrolling their Facebook (still)
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Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.
Devrant has become a cabal.5 -
!rant
When people listen to a complete story and then ask who the villian was..
DEVS : It's like reading JavaScript and then asking what is "this"2 -
Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.
Fucking google3 -
First commission done! Tofu 60%, Krytox 205g0 lubed creams, SA keycaps, and a special surprise foam dampening plate for extra thocc on that Brass plate.
29 -
😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.3 -
@dfox
Only 2 rants an hour.
Ok
How about the ability to save and manually post later feature?
I had an idea for a rant. It was gold i tells ya... if only I could remember what it was. 😥8 -
I was not having much respect for out front-end developer, as the UI is not so good., yea. I know it UI depends on the designer.
Now the new design changed and our UI looks awesome.,
and I must say that my respect increased a lot when my pm asked him to fix the layout in UC Browser.
Fucking shit., in UC it is showing two lanes as one lane. I don't know why., he was working hard to fix that.
Massive Respect to him. I really happy by being backend dev.8 -
Would you rather program one handed because...
A). Broken arm.
B). Holding screaming baby that slaps keyboard occasionally.6 -
Thirty hours over two weeks, but we finally patched a angular app that was originally built on 2 (alpha) to 4, reducing the load time ten fold.
Don't thank me, thank super duck. The duck with the power to debug any code.
Gawd I'm tired.
2 -
who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?7
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>School librarian asks me about library pass design
" Hmm, i think we can put the course name below the student's name and such and putting the barcode where the course name was previously"
>SA who designed it agrees.
today was a good day -
i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.
both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.
I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.2 -
Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods4
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A coworker asked me to give him a hand on a project last thursday at around 8:00pm, by Friday noon I had most of it complete. Then turn the code back to him. Then somehow , it got placed on me during the weekend....20 mins before leaving to San antonio to be with my sister while my niece was born. Yeah...no..sorry...guess who enjoyed SA this weekend? This guy. Past experiences have shown me that one should not sacrifice personal time for company bs. Specially here in south texas where the majority of employers are from Mexico. In Mexico, there is no worker appreciation culture, going above and beyond the line of duty to accomplish tasks is not met with any sort of consideration. So nope nope nope nope.18
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When you are trying to be supportive to a colleague but he sees your act as condescension on your part. BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU SO PLEASE KNOW THE BARE MINIMUMS TO DO THE TASK. Also he complained to others that he was offended . He was tryna learn react before knowing es6 and nodejs , doesn't know asynchronous and was strongly suggesting that our whole fucking team move to React and I just suggested some topics to look to. I carried his ass once , and seems like now will have to carry it once more :(
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Was interested to learn about OpenGL and WebGL. Just found out no fucking drivers exist for my graphics card on Ubuntu.
WTF AMD !!! Atleast provide some compatibility for your product if I am purchasing it !!!8 -
Got the cheapest laptop I could find that would run Windows mixed reality.
Installed Linux subsystem for Windows and Ubuntu.
Nothing but giant flying terminal windows across my view of a virtual Seascape.
This is my new home.4 -
The first time you try to google what an operator does by using the symbol in the search bar because you don't know the name for it.
2 -
Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.1
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@dfox
You put that little horizontal scroll bar or you seriously wanted to troll us?
Thinking it's a side bar, I tried literally 5-6 times and then I gave up.
8 -
I was having fun, when I aliased my co worker cd="exit", he spent his whole day on fixing it and decided to install os again. damn poor :/8
-
Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.
Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.
Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.
Client:😓
Me:😅3 -
So. I was pretty sure I had fixed the problem we had with compiling in Windows 10. Thing is I did it in a stopgap non-permanent way because we have to be done with it by the second week of February to support our subcontractor.
Turns out I had an older version of the framework we build on installed on my box and the newer version decided to fix their windows 10 compilation issues the right way. So we can't use our stopgap solution. So basically I look like an idiot and more important people than me have to work on the problem because I am not allowed to install anything on my box myself, our SA is already overwhelmed, and only the higher ups have the newest framework version. Good thing it's a long weekend and I have plenty of of beer and whiskey.1 -
Spending hours trying to solve a problem just to find that the answer was not just simple, but well known. You just didn't know the technical term to search for.1
-
Looks like I'm @dfox evil twin.
class nerd-san extends dfox {
constructor() {
evil = true;
sunglasses = true;
}
}
2 -
Non-techie friend: Does Blu-ray Compact disc will be blue in color or contains blue films ( In India we use blue films to refer porn movies ) ?
Me: :/6 -
To the front end dev that 'finished' his part of a web form with a Hundred pluss fields. You left every id, name, and label-for as 'first-name'.
I know it saves you time to copy paste and only change what's visible on the page, but FUUUUUUCK YOU! -
Does anyone here just wake up and feel shitty for absolutely no reason why ? When I say absolutely no reason means none whatseover from previous day etc . I wanna know if it's just me 😅4
-
Macbooks are fast because of it's hardware ?
If so, I'm I'll install linux in my MacBook air (given by company).
What do you suggest ?16 -
squashed a spider this evening just to have it erupt with hundreds of tiny baby spiders.
what a terrifying real world visualization of my week.2 -
disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.
boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them. -
You have 10 notices that your rant had gotten a ++, but the total score has only gone up by one.
😒2 -
Four and half months,
Hundreds of hundreds PRs and one additional product cluster
By 6 Engineers..
To 500+ micro services
Which has no timezone or currency context,
Created by 250+ engineers,
To launch in a new country...
It didn't make me happy.
But the feedback from customers and drivers is priceless and #heartwhelming14 -
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.
every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.
i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.6 -
Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
-
When facebook and youtube adds are nothing but clients you built websites for.😒
Someone needs to update their algorithm to more than just 'how many times you visited a website before.' -
The client portal of the biggest bank in SA is down.
I took a break, because if they website is down, who cares about my minor bugs? 😀
-
Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.3
-
How about them relatives always thinking 'you sa work with computers? You sa tech support for EVERYTHING'3
-
Android is fucking fucked up.
Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,
React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?
And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.
Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.
Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.
9 -
wk257 - How did you learn to program?
GTA San Andreas Multiplayer Mod (SAMP), when I was maybe 14. Then some Java in high school. Studied Engineering and the only thing that didn't completely suck was programming (C), so I changed my field to work as a dev.2 -
Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.
Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.
(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))1 -
https://youtu.be/2VkNWLYD5c4
What this? Kids who use tablets and technology have IMPROVED fine motor skills over those who do not.
How can this be? Everything the new generation has that older generations did not is always the worst thing ever.3 -
...It relies on the BouncyCastle cryptography library instead of OpenSSL, yet replicates OpenSSL bugs to guarantee compatibility.2
-
Am I the only one who gets intimidated when shit its roof?
Yesterday, during crucial business hours, one of the major OMS db column type got overflowed. Caused around 30 mins downtime and then later, pool of all connections with high concurrent requests flushed down stream which caused thunder herd.
One by one.. all services went down; Fucking java service couldn't even start because of load..
This is the moment I fell in love with GoLang. We shard request using GoLang service, it just started and picked up the load beautifully..
At the end, it is around 6 millions business loss, but a good lesson learned :) -
Love Squirrel Girl, the super hero with the powers of a squirrel, and a degree in computer science.
4 -
I don't care about your good ideas.
If you don't code, don't art, have nothing to contribute to the work, and aren't going to pay me for my time, then there is no collaboration.1 -
Am I Data Engineer or Software Development Engineer ?
I design the infrastructure for analytics data, and I build the infra entirely including an development. Except making reports out of the data.
What I'm supposed to be called ?
Data Engineer ?
Software Development Engineer ?
Definitely not an Data Scientist. Official designation given by company is Data Engineer II. But what I'm ?
Confused, someone help me please.5 -
Spent two hours having two recruiters give me test, interviewing, and being told HOW perfect I am for the job I was applying for; Just to be told they are only allowed to send over people they have found previous work for, but I should instead apply to these othwr positions that pay half what I'm looking for.
-
The school I went to, and this was really the only benefit of the school, gave all it students lifetime memberships to digital tutors, which was bought out by pluralsight, which then bought code School. So I basically got free membership to three different sites, all of which have a good amount of technical training with videos, guides, and work along lessons on them.
For what school cost to me, it will have paid for itself as long as I live for another Thousand Years.1 -
VR is great. Been getting together weekly with my dungeon and dragon friends from highschool but instead of meeting in person we get together in vr.
Feels just like getting together in person but is more convenient since we each connect from our own homes.2 -
"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.1 -
Getting a new laptop is exhausting if you haven't been keeping up with the technology. I have purchased three laptops in the last two weeks returning the first two after spending 10 + hours each installing updates and software just to find out they didn't work for what I needed.1
-
There is an "SA" who doesn't know anything about different architectures used around, does not ask if he doesn't know and assumes stuff and puts us in those cringe-worthy moments where everyone in the meeting kind of becomes quiet because he is uttering obvious bullshit. He does this in meetings with senior managers and developers from other teams which clearly puts our team down!
-
Only open source projects under a CC-BY-SA 3.0 license can legally use even one line of StackOverflow.
That site's user contributions are all under a free license that demands all copies to use the same license. Does someone know if I'm wrong on this? -
talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.
i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.
which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.
6 -
When systems throttles your bandwidth during load tests and doesn't tell you, and you waste an afternoon investigating1
-
I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.
Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.1 -
Hello and welcome come to hell for developers. Take a seat at any open computer.
You may have noticed we did away with the fire and brimstone.
Instead we just have you maintain the legacy code from your first job.
It's genrally html, php, javascript, and css all on the same page and all mixed together.
We would say have fun, but that's not really the point. -
When client budget is less than the time needed to do a good jobs.
Happens more than I like.
"We’ve all said we’d go back and clean it up later. Of course, in those days we didn’t know LeBlanc’s law: Later equals never."
-Clean Code1 -
Buying a brand new laptop, I think I'll save some money and get an i5 instead of an i7 and then turn around the next day and decide I hate money and I love having a computer that's more powerful than I need it to be.7
-
Code editors as Doom skill levels:
coda = I'm too young to die.
notepad++ = Hey, not to rough.
sublime = Hurt me plenty.
vi = Ultra-Violence.
emacs = Nightmare!3 -
Spend the same amount of time looking for and testing existing npm packages as it would take to build something from scratch.
Nothing yet, but Boss is still certain that building our own is unnecessary.
😐 -
any time i come up with a cleaver solution to a problem I remember my cousin who works for nasa and i mope about how I've waisted my life and nothing i do matters.5
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What's that? You committed the tmp/dist/cache field for something only YOU run locally and asked me to review it. Just GET OUT.1
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Hey Fellow devRanters in Jakarta, let's meet up!
Let's have our first devRant meeting?
And join here: https://t.me/joinchat/...26 -
I was talking to my non tech friend, one friend of her who is working at one big kind of MNC (Mobile network companies) asked me what do you use in VFox.
I have no fucking idea what's VFox. I said I have no idea what is, we don't use it. He immediately asked me what technologies you guys are using (I am working in a startup)?
I said we are using Ruby, Ruby On Rails and Python, Djanho. He said you use all the old technologies.
I was like: WTF :😂, Okay tell me what are the new technologies? My friend interrupted us.
Later I googled to see what is VFox. It is actually a hosting company and this guy who don't even have any idea about AWS, GCP, using VFox saying Ruby and Python are old technologies. Lol.. -
Si I live in México, and a big university is giving this 8 day course on machine Learning and automated robotics and I was accepted!! And I'm super pumped, because I really want to work in the industry and love taking any posible oportunity to learn something new.
This also is a perfect excuse to travel to Guadalajara and get all of my questions about the university answerd
There it is, I just wanted to be excited somewhere else xd6 -
My name, by western standards, is a "misspelled" version (it's actually the ancient Greek original). And here in SA there are some with the "normal" version of the name. All fine and dandy, spell it however you want for your kids. BUT STOP "CORRECTING" MY NAME! Anything and everything that stores my name these days has a 50% chance to get it wrong. What's worse is that is this is more prevalent when I WROTE IT ON A PHYSICAL APPLICATION FORM. NOBODY IS NOT GOING TO NOTICE IF THEY ACCIDENTALLY ADD A LETTER TO THEIR OWN NAME!13
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Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass2 -
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
"Oh computer, your real name should be porn funnel. I love my family more than you, but only collectively. on a case by case basis I love you more than any individual family member. "
-Nerd 'robot chicken' -
I was told during my midyear that I need to start working on my "AWS certification." Hmmmm. OK. Since there isn't one for a DBA, I guess I'm going to become an SA.1
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Dear clients
Websites are not a turnkey business.
Your site is going to need maintenance overtime. And you are going to need to pay for it. -
on live server
me: these root server files have loose permissions.
sudo chmod -rf 644 /*
me: well... 'cd' works, but nothing else. -
This book I'm reading on SEO is like drinking nightquil.
The more I read the harder it gets to not pass out.6 -
3ds Max Python API Documentation.
No function has a single word explaining what it does.
The Documentation seems like it is completely auto generated and while writing the API they forgot to add Docstrings....2 -
Didn't learn to code till late 20's
Always wanted to program since I was a little kid but was discouraged by everyone I ever talked to about it as it being 'too difficult .'
Finally had an awsome college professor that took special interest to encourage me to go after it. -
"I don't think anyone will mind if we update and make all old code incompatible."
- every reat/soap service the day after you finish development. -
when i brought the vive home the wife was all, meah😒, at first then, 😲 oh my goodness this is the halo deck, our future is an empty room with vr goggles.
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Finally gifting my sister, on the occasion of my sisters recently born baby's 21st day..,
My old laptop with Linux installed and with an update to Samsung evo 860 ssd.
She is new to linux, not so new. Hope she will find good stuff to prepare for the next job as she is on maternity leave.1 -
In case you haven't heard:
https://change.org/p/...
Heh... Talk about making a lot of dev enemies...
Am I allowed to do this?9 -
My interview...!
From civil background, not sure about internal system architectures.
Question: how does cpu switches between processes ?
Ans: how the f I know? Do I really need to know, internally!
Explained a bit.
He was like you are the one who are going to use kafka, not the one who are going to write kafka.
I was like devasted.5 -
Working with friend and using nodejs websockets and SVG to build online multiplayer lazer screen arcade like games.
The only delay is having to stop every couple of minutes to restate how cool this is. -
write comment about posters preference of device or OS.
close eyes and imagine the meaningless flame war that would follow.
delete comment.
feel good about choice.
good for me. -
for on the go developinh I have completely replaced my laptop with my phone and a folding Bluetooth keyboard.
It can really do anything my laptop did, and if needed I can just remote desktop into my pc or ssh into a server.2 -
It really bugs me out when your co workers start working on a project without telling you. Makes me feel undervalued. I would not complete their sloppy seconds this time for sure
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Sharing is caring, and continuing the streak, I have 3 invites to enki with the code: ASABE108
Enjoy :)4 -
i really dislike inheriting depricated projects😓.
really wanted to use angular 2 for current project but our hosting server is outdated and nodejs wont run on it.
realy wish we could update the server, but doing this would break 10 older sites we are being paid to host .
any ideas?15 -
Tell client we need to add an hour to the budget to test, QA, and proof account/password emails to be sent to over 2000 customers.
They say they tested it and to send now.
Charge them for an additional four hours to test, QA, and proof apology emails because client's api was sending broken passwords.1 -
Cold-brewed yerba mate, iced brewed crio bru, Adderall, duck.
I believe I have everything that I need to hit those deadlines before break.
1 -
being 4th in line to maintain legacy code in a language I have never used before when the the last two guys were, and this is my boss telling me and not my judgment, 'incompetent.'
there are literally four functions in this class that all do the same thing... which is the one being called in this case... a seperate external function located in another file in a different language on a different server all together. 😐 -
So today I have to get ready for the biggest competition in my life (competition is Tommorow).Its an annual competition for University undergrads where I have to build a cluster(hardware) and install the software eg(openmpi,zabbix,hpcc,hpl and some other benchmark programs) and then run the benchmarks in the hope of getting higher scores with a budget they give.i have a team of 3 other talented individuals.i hope.i do well there.
https://mybroadband.co.za/news/...2 -
Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?4
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Fantasizing about stabbing SharePoint in the throat, I'm being forced to contact Microsoft tech support, so I need to obtain our software assurance account info.
Our company's rep sends me our SA account numbers (assuming that was all I needed) and the link to create an incident.
Step through Microsoft support ticket 'wizard' which ends with requiring a login with a Microsoft account.
Me: "What login account should I be using?"
Rep: "You shouldn't need one. Just use the SA account number and access ID I sent you."
Me: "There is no entry for those values. I step through a support 'wizard' and the final page redirects me to the Microsoft login page."
Rep: "Use your work email address."
Me: "I can, but I shouldn't have to use my personal outlook email address. Can I just send you the issue and you submit the ticket? After the ticket is created, all the correspondence will be through email anyway."
<30 min. later>
Rep: "I just linked your work email address to your company's account. You should be able to login now."
Me: "Same error. I think you're messing with me."
<30 min. later>
Rep: "Select the option to create an account with your own email."
Me: "Now I know you're messing with me. Already tried that and received the error 'You cant sign up here with a work or school email address'."
Rep: "Weird...I guess Microsoft changed their policy."
Me: "So now what?"
<1 hour later>
Rep: "You might have to send me your SharePoint issue and I'll get a ticket created. After the ticket is created, I'll change the contact email address to you."
WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT TWO HOURS AGO!
Whew! Thanks devRant...that's better. I put the knife down and now only want to punch SharePoint in the face.3 -
I got a SIM card activated for my dad yesterday. Here in SA you need to verify your identity to get the card activated. But the company's systems were offline yesterday while I got it from another distributor of theirs 2 shops over. Now a day later they tell me I have to go and get another one because the one I got won't be activated because of it being offline. Something about it being assigned to me while it is offline makes it not work.
WHAT BULLSHIT? WHO THE HELL CODES THAT TRIPE TO FAIL TWICE AS HARD AS IT SHOULD? IT MAKES NO SENSE IF THE THING IS OFFLINE FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.
And yet, with Telkom's legendary poor service I know the service people are not lying. They just don't know what the hell is going on. -
Any recommendations for books on statistical analysis and data science?
The more survival guide & short manual types, the better.5 -
It's been a good month where honestly I had nothing to rant about. Pretty much doing my own project setting up ELK.
But last few days I had to return to the reality called teammates....
It where it ok... I mentored one of them, then did the code review yesterday
And that's when the shit hit the fan.
I told them to do X but then they did Y instead thinking that they were smart.
In hindsight they seem to have no idea wtf they were doing, inexperienced and couldn't even use console.log and JSON.stringify to debug object states...
Which course now reminded what's wrong with this team, you got people jumping around stacks and projects so they're all mediocre on all of them. Rather than having specific people being good at one of them (aka more experienced than a noob).
And if course this morning, manager asked me to look into something on a program I haven't support in a while (there are a free people that are more experienced and know the current state better). And he said this is quick and urgent... And actually when he said that I'm like uh.... don't think so....
And last thing is we had to rerun a report in production so needed the shipper ten to do it. Asked them look yesterday, users were waiting.
Today... Still not done. And well I actually can run the report myself locally.. takes 5mins but in production they need to reload the data but that should take at most 20mins... Either way... Nothing was done.
Oh and I just remembered I raised a request to it SA group to have some not script installed... That not done either.
And this is why relying on others it at least these people is a bad idea..... Unless your are capable of firing them... -
i know i could have done this in 10 min using our current framework,
but i really wanted to learn this new framework.
only took 10 hours to figure out.
still considering it a win. -
My biggest regret is not becoming a programmer sooner in life. Ever since I saw the computer wore tennis shoes when I was 5 I wanted to be a computer programmer. But my brother discouraged me saying it was so difficult but no one did it. So I thought I guess if no one is doing it.... Then in both Junior High and High School they have computer classes but you had to be friends with the teacher to even know it existed in the first place. I was not on good terms with him.
Thanks to a very encouraging Teacher at Art School I finally I was able to pursue my lifelong interest in computers. -
When oracle employees decide to add new "feature":
How can we add feature X so it can be the user new most terrible nightmare?
When oracle employees decide to update an existed "feature":
We have discovered that the users of feature X have found a work-around to make it useful, we need to update that feature to make it the users most terrible nightmare ever, and we would like to make the upgrade/installation process break everything else installed on their machines without possible way of recovering, and if it worked by any chance we would like to make that process frustrating as fuck.7 -
Hey Guys,
I'm from Bangalore, India. And I am planning to setup work station at home. Does anybody any pointers or sample workstations you already have set it up and running?3 -
there is no time in the budget for refactoring the code that is being shipped to live.
the only refactoring i get done is the code going into my portfolio. -
We need to go live by this month 10.
Yep, infra is ready in production. You can push the events and see the results right away.
PM: Wow, great. Setup staging we need to test it.
Me: FML, staging machines are smaller, can't even start the program.1 -
I want to relocate to U.S from South Africa.
I'm qualified as a systems developer and currently doing an internship as a QA tester (automation)... sigh.. where to start.. SA has no future for devs here.3 -
Told my friends about this awesome app. It used to be my safe place earlier, but oh well... Kinda happy and sad about it at the same time. Hope they don't recognize my handle 😅1
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There is a comic book app, let's call it 'the fucking awful crunchy roll manga app'.
Over two years, and four devices, 80% of the time it loads pages out of order, or the same three pages over and over, Making books unreadable. Reseting the app or device does not fix it. It's just random when it works.
Point being. Its a god damb gallery app! That's programing 101 shit. How dose a company this big, That does two things, stream video and display images in order, completely fuck up half of their entire market for years with no one fixing it?
I could program this thing in a week end. That's not a brag. This is almost literally a 'apps for dummies' throw away project .
Why? Just WHY?2 -
The greatest thing I ever do when work is pending from DevOps Teams, opening devRant app. Ever did the same?
#MyDaySucks -
inherited management and development of a cms that is both beautiful and terrify.
when the developer nefore you was a mystic of programming that you will never be equal to.😅😟😢 -
The biggest mistake my colleague done is -
update query for admin_reports table without where clause in mysql in production db. Right after that no admin reports. More than 1000 rows affected.
Glad we luckily we have some data in staging machine.. I don't know Why TF our devops team not taking backup. Hope they will from now.
Nom I'm using python to dump the data from staging and save it local file and then export to production.
#HisLifeSucks
#HeartBeatsFast -
Ya tu qu'elle qu'un qui sais si vuejs et PWA marche bien ensemble ? Je veux bien me tiré une bûche puis tester tout sa !8
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Problem with touchscreens.
Look away from phone for a minute and when I turn back to find I somehow navigated to a settings menu.
Oh crap! Did I change anything?!
Factory reset phone just to be safe. -
did a google search for typesceipt date formating as just 'ts date'...
the results were less than helpful.1 -
I don't know how much use others get out of the zoom functionality in browsers.
normally i have several different browsers open with multiple windows on a single monitor with half of them zoomed to 50% so I can fit more and still see everything at once without juggling whats on top or switching desktops. -
Top instrumental bands to listen to while programming?
Adebisi Shank
https://music.youtube.com/watch/...5 -
God if they consider repetitive hardship a job I'm way overdue for sa goddamn career change and actual payout. Heh1
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I'm thinking about studying the best posts to see what is common in them, to make the perfect post and get maximun swag ¿What could be used? xd1
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