Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "sandwich"
-
Today at work, still laugh thinking back to it!
We were on lunch break but the linux support engineers who are on the phones as well have to pick up calls anyways (very small team).
*engineer walks to the table, sits down: Ahhh rest, finally!*
*tringggggggggg*
*engineer pulls a face like 'oh for fucks sake' and walks back to his desk*
*puts headphones on and clicks the answer button just as it disappears*
"really!?! Alright lets finally eat now"
*sits for literally one second*
*tringgggggggggg*
*Engineer seems quite pissed off now. walks to his desk again, puts on headset, clicks the answer button JUST as the call stops again*
"Mother of god, fucking really?"
*stays as his desk for a minute or so, walks back, stays hovering above his chair for a little and finally sits down again*
"Finall......"
*TRINGGGGGGGGGGGG*
"MOTHERFUCKER. THESE GUYS TIME IT OR SOMETHING!?!?"
*walks back to his desk very frustrated this time*
*puts on headphones very quickly and presses the answer button*
*answer works but the call is literally dropped the second he starts it (it was a real client)*
"OH FOR FUCKS FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING SAKE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
*walks back to table again and sits down. Takes sandwich and....*
*TRINGGGGGGGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
"FUCKING COCKSUKING MOTHERFUCKING PIECES OF WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK EVER"
*gives a deadly look to another engineer: "I am NOT going to take it this time! En-fucking-joy."*
We laughed so hard xD15 -
PM: That screwdriver you built me is really nice. I like how it works with all screws and bolts, does the work itself, etc., but I simply can’t get it to paint, and I really need it to cut my sandwich. Can it cut my sandwich?
PM: Also, since you finished it, the neighbor’s can opener doesn’t work, my dog got fleas, and our screw supplier ran into shipping issues. Fix these ASAP!
Bonus:
Also, remember that hack I forced you to do despite you telling me it wouldn’t work? Yeah it isn’t working. You need to fix that too.20 -
When you think that you can control your mother.
Me: Mom sudo make me a sandwich.
Her: You fool I'm a Windows user8 -
Me: Sitting in beanbag chair in development office, using closed macbook as a plate for a large walnut-brie-honey-rucola sandwich, honey dripping all over the aluminium top.
New manager (well, he's pretty old, but newly hired): "I don't think you're allowed to eat near the computers"
Me: "And I don't think you're allowed in my dev cave".
*Put macbook to the side*
*push him out of the office*
*close sliding door*
*close blinds*
*sit in beanbag chair*
*eat sandwich*
*lick honey from macbook*
I'm sorry, coworkers. Two weeks of writing MySQL queries made me a bit feral.9 -
Working from home and your teenaged daughter almost burns the house down while making a grilled cheese sandwich.3
-
FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING CUSTOMIZABLE, HALF-MODULAR, MULTILINGUAL, DYNAMICALLY-AUTOUPDATING PAINTBRUSH / CARPENTER / SANDWICH CUTTER / ALARM CLOCK DECEPTICON WITH OPTIONAL SCREWDRIVER ATTACHMENT!
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SIMPLE FUCKING SCREWDRIVER!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING EXISTENCE YOU USELESS FUCK!8 -
From my work -as an IT consultant in one of the big 4- I can now show you my masterpiece
INSIGHTS FROM THE DAILY LIFE OF A FUNCTIONAL ANALIST IN A BIG 4 -I'M NOT A FUNCTIONAL ANALYST BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY DO-
- 10:30, enter the office. By contract you should be there at 9:00 but nobody gives a shit
- First task of the day: prepare the power point for the client. DURATION: 15 minutes to actually make the powerpoint, 45 minutes to search all the possible synonyms of RESILIENCE BIG DATA AGILE INTELLIGENT AUTOMATION MACHINE LEARNING SHIT PISS CUM, 1 hour to actually present the document.
- 12:30: Sniff the powder left by the chalks on the blackboards. Duration: 30 minutes, that's a lot of chalk you need to snort.
13:00, LUNCH TIME. You get back to work not one minute sooner than 15.00
- 15:00, conference with the HR. You need to carefully analyze the quantity and quality of the farts emitted in the office for 2 hours at least
- 17:00 conference call, a project you were assigned to half a day ago has a server down.
The client sent two managers, three senior Java developers, the CEO, 5 employees -they know logs and mails from the last 5 months line by line-, 4 lawyers and a beheading teacher from ISIS.
On your side there are 3 external ucraininans for the maintenance, successors of the 3 (already dead) developers who put the process in place 4 years ago according to God knows which specifications. They don't understand a word of what is being said.
Then there's the assistant of the assistant of a manager from another project that has nothing to do with this one, a feces officer, a sys admin who is going to watch porn for the whole conference call and won't listen a word, two interns to make up a number and look like you're prepared. Current objective: survive. Duration: 2 hours and a half.
- 19:30, snort some more chalk for half an hour, preparing for the mail in which you explain the associate partner how because of the aforementioned conference call we're going to lose a maintenance contract worth 20 grands per month (and a law proceeding worth a number of dollars you can't even read) and you have no idea how could this happen
- 20:00, timesheet! Compile the weekly report, write what you did and how long did it take for each task. You are allowed to compile 8 hours per day, you worked at least 11 but nobody gives a shit. Duration: 30 minutes
- 20:30, update your consultant! Training course, "tasting cum and presenting its organoleptic properties to a client". Bearing with your job: none at all. Duration: 90 minutes, then there's half an hour of evaluating test where you'll copy the answers from a sheet given to you by a colleague who left 6 months ago.
- 22:30, CHANCE CARD! You have a new mail from the HR: you asked for a refund for a 3$ sandwich, but the receipt isn't there and they realized it with a 9 months delay. You need to find that wicked piece of paper. DURATION: 30 minutes. The receipt most likely doesn't even exist anymore and will be taken directly from your next salary.
- 23:00 you receive a message on Teams. It's the intern. It's very late but you're online and have to answer. There's an exception on a process which have been running for 6 years with no problems and nobody ever touches. The intern doesn't know what to do, but you wrote the specifications for the thing, 6 years ago, and everything MUST run tonight. You are not a technician and have no fucking clue about anyhing at all. 30 minutes to make sure it's something on our side and not on the client side, and in all that the intern is as useful as a confetto to wipe your ass. Once you're sure it's something on our side you need to search for the senior dev who received the maintenance of the project, call him and solve the problem.
It turns out a file in a shared folder nobody ever touches was unreachable 'cause one of your libraries left it open during the last run and Excel shown a warning modal while opening it; your project didn't like this last thing one bit. It takes 90 minutes to find the root of the problem, you solve it by rebooting one of your machines. It's 01:00.
You shower, watch yourself on the mirror and search for the line where your forehead ends and your hair starts. It got a little bit back from yesterday; the change can't be seen with the naked eye but you know it's there.
You cry yourself to sleep. Tomorrow is another day, but it's going to be exactly like today.8 -
I feel a bit bad.
My family left for the weekend sonim all alone at home.
I told everybody else not to bother me so could code.
Instead i went to buy soda,sandwich food, beer, papers and smokes (i quit smoking 6months ago ;)) and played video games for the last 2 days.7 -
If programming languages had honest slogans, what would they be?
C: If you want a horse, make sure you feed it, clean it and secure it yourself. No warranties.
C++: If you want a horse, you need to buy a circus along with it.
Java: Before you buy a horse - buy a piece of land, build a house in that land, build a barn beside the house & if you are not bankrupt yet, buy the horse and then put the horse in the barn.
C#: You don’t want a horse, but Microsoft wants you to have a horse. Now it’s up to you if you want Microsoft or not.
Swift: Don’t buy an overpriced Unicorn if all you wanted was a horse.
JavaScript: If you want to buy a horse & confidently ride it, make sure you read a book named "You don't know horse".
PHP: After enough optimization, your horse can compete the top most horses in the world; but deep down, you'll always know it's an ass.
Hack: Let's face it, even if you take the ass from the ass lovers and give them back a horse in exchange, not many will ride it.
Ruby: If you want a horse, make sure you ride it on top of rail roads, even if the horse can't run fast on rails.
Python: Don't ride your horse and eat your sandwich on the same line, until you indent it on the next line.
Bash: Your horse may shit everywhere, but at least it gets the job done.
R: You are the horse. R will ride you.
Got this from Quora.
https://quora.com/If-programming-la...7 -
I didn't scream.. just told him to jump off of terrace..
What ticked me?! He was a support guy..slowest mofo ever..
I was in the middle of fixing major fuckup on prod, when our VPN to client disconnected. I rushed over to support to ask if it is 'just' an expired session (which he was in charge of renewing but constantly fucked up) or if there is some other problem, so I know how to proceed..do I need to contact our sysadmins, client's support guys etc..
He
started
to
slooooooooowly
explain
I
am
not
the
only
one
with
VPN
problems
...
Was that what I asked you?! // he had an annoying habit of slooooowly talking and explaining unrelated things & personal stuff that bothered him & most of the times he chose the most time sensitive period to drone off..
So I cut him of saying, that others were probably not 'tinkering' with production and that I need this back ASAP, so if he could tell me when the session will be renewed or if there is something else problematic..
He said he will check..I didn't move.. he looked at me insurprise, you want me to check *NOW*?! Yeah, it's urgent.. He proceeded very very veeeery slooooowly, taking the support phone../* he was even eating sandwich during that, so only one hand free, typing one letter at a min */
I was finaly notified that the session expired and that he will fix it soon (meaning in 15-20mins o.O which should not take him more than 5).. and was like 'can I do sth else for you'?! Yeah, do the backflip.. you know the rest..3 -
Interviewer: what would you say your biggest accomplishments to date are?
Me: ............*thinking* I made that kick-ass sandwich that one time!1 -
I hate when I'm being questioned when I wander off to the kitchen to get a sandwich for 5 minutes when the smokers at the office have their sixth smoking break that usually takes about 10 minutes.
Let me enjoy my non-smoker breaks 😒7 -
Post after a long long time...
Wanted to reply to so many comments and mentions, rant about a bunch of topics, do a face reveal after I went for a vacation with family and got some pictures, update y'all on my job hunt, but was busy like hell.
Anyway, time for a story.
After my rejection with Meta and Booking, I started preparing like crazy and my interviews started going well. Refined my LinkedIn further and recruiters started reaching out as well.
Over time, with efforts and feedback, I was able to build a good pipeline.
One of my dream companies reached out to me and I got hired in just 1 round and all others were merely a formality. I was euphoric, but at the same time didn't get over excited as this seemed fishy.
They made a very good monetary offer and I didn't talk to my manager yet regarding resignation. They are pushing me for an early joining.
Read a bunch of Glassdoor reviews and also spoke to a friend who just recently quit that organisation.
He confirmed that the company has 3 months of notice, has sandwich leave policy, and some other XLT political mess.
I decided to decline the offer tomorrow.
Day saved? Not yet.
Because of this I slacked off work a lot. I am super screwed with work items pending because I thought I'd quit.
My boss resinged and new one isn't that supportive yet. He is trying to change everything overnight. Typical.
I ended up performing poorly in other companies because I was confident I'll pick this offer and didn't prepare for upcoming good companies.
Moreover, we have our offices opening up from April and I might be asked to relocate to another city which does not have a team but just because it is on paper, they might force me to be in office 50% of the time.
And what's worse is, my relationship with tech is deteriorating and they are putting the entire product team in bad light.
I have a planned weekend trip coming up, so I won't be able to prepare for interviews or work on case studies so that shit will pile up more.
I am sooooo fucking screwed. Life was stable and then all of a sudden too 180° flip.
I am hysterical right now.16 -
Snippet of an overheard conversation today:
"LOL maths beyond basic arithmetic is so dumb. No-one needs pythagoras, trig, calculus or any of that crap unless they have some unholy desire to find the geometric properties of their sandwich."
"What do you want to do when you leave school then?"
"Something to do with AI. That stuff is really cool."
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️8 -
Quick tip for naming stuff: learn some Dutch. Any random word is good for naming an app/website/project/whatever. Examples:
Turtle ----> Schildpad
Beach ---> Strand
Tonight ---> Vanavond
Tasty ---> Lekker
Sandwich ---> Boterham7 -
If it is lunch time and I have a sandwich stuffed halfway in my face, do not walk up to me with your computer asking for help. It doesn't take me long to eat so give me 3 fucking minutes to finish.
I will help you...I will touch your keyboard with my greasy fingers...I will touch your screen...multiple times.
You're welcome.3 -
Alpha
Beta
Cupcake
Donut
Eclair
Froyo
Gingerbread
Honeycomb
Ice cream sandwich
Jelly bean
Kitkat
Lollipop
Marshmallow
Nougat
Oreo
Pie
Q ?
R ?
S ?
T ?
U ?
V ?
W ?
X ?
Y ?
Z ?
And then?17 -
And today on My Strange Addiction: Browser Tabs and the People That Never Close Them. - seriously, when you have 38 tabs open and your sandwich menu is red, just stop. It takes all of a minute to close Chrome and restart it.15
-
The people who wrote the specs for SAP OCI should be hanged by rusty barbed wire while being tickled by krusty the clown.
Which one of these stinky hobbits thought it was a great idea to require a (catalog) server to handle a POST request by sending back an HTML form which has to execute a POST request immediately by JavaScript on load?
Why not fucking respond with the actual god damn fucking data?
Some "senior" (read "senile") software "engineer" has to get decapitated.
Quote from the specification (OCI Function: VALIDATE, section 2.3.2):
"The product catalog replies with an HTML page that contains a form with the productdata in OCI format. [...] The HTML page may not contain any visible elements ([...]). The form must be sent automatically by JavaScript after the page has been loaded."
The only thing that should get sent after loading would be these people's asses to hell after my minigun has finished loading.
SAP is the kind of company who earns a huge junk of money from utter, stinking, filthy crap and they like to piss in their customers' "müesli".4 -
Me: make me a sandwich
Her: no
Me: sudo make me a sandwich
Her: goodbye
And then I wake up and realize this "her" does not exist. I feel like I have a problem if I'm dreaming about these kind of things....3 -
Sitting here watching my wife drive toward the house on FindMy.
I'm not creepy. She has a Rueben Sandwich for me. I am tracking the Rueben Sandwich.
4 more miles. Reuben Sandwich.8 -
The kitchen at my office is pretty small, it fits a max of two people. Today morning while making a sandwich, an infrastructure dev walks in and proceeds to say... "I hope you don't mind me standing behind you, it's really not a Christian thing to do"... what?6
-
I was just thinking about disabling something, already forgot what it was that I was gonna disable though.. doesn't matter. And I realized that if I wanted to play my "disabled card", I could totally get Americans to ban that word entirely.
Cancel culture you say? Those cancel buttons are offensive to me! Get them out of my face reeee!
Command line? You're telling this thing what to do?! sudo make sandwich, so sexist!!!
Police reforms are so overrated. Let's ban words like master/slave or blacklist/whitelist or blind playthrough instead. And put our knees on another black person, shoot another in their sleep, and let said police officers get away with it. Yee haw!
And storm the Capitol apparently. It's been a while now but Europe looked across the pond in complete and utter surprise and disbelief. You call yourselves a free nation America?
Oh yeah, and ban words globally, in globally used software. I must've forgotten.. yeah, the world is nothing but America, oil fields, parking space and third world shitholes. Good thinking there.
With enough effort you can make anything offensive. And it goes to show that offense is not given but taken.
Fun fact btw: the United States is ranked 121 in the Global Peace Index (http://statisticstimes.com/ranking/...) - and that doesn't even include the Capitol's insurrection yet. Belgium is ranked 17. Tell me more about how I'm racist Americans. Tell me about it when your president literally called Belgium a hellhole over the amount of immigrants he saw in Brussels.8 -
i went to my college bakery and i bought a sandwich (costs 140) and ultra energy drink (costs 90) in my currency
i extend my hand with money and the woman takes a calculator and types with one finger 1 4 0 + 9 0 = and says "230"13 -
When I began my sandwich course in a big French company, I was dreaming about cutting edge stack, rocket computer and stuff...
I was disappointed when I came to my office with an old Windows 7 computer, coding via LANDesk to an old server with Windows Server 2008 on it, with Eclipse ... INDIGO...
I have to use Java 1.7 ...
Tomcat 7.
PRTG for monitoring...
Microsoft SQL Server 2008 ...
One screen...
Coding on a codebase where, indubitably, MVC pattern was just a weird thing in books.
No UT.
Lasagna code.
Well it really disappointed me.
Luckily, the Information Service was very open minded and gave me a laptop with Fedora, 3 screens, updated the servers, and let me update the stack, with Java 10, Angular for the front, they are okay for using Docker.
So ... even if it seems to be fucked up, there’s still hope !!3 -
Finally got a new job! Outta here!
Just got out of a meeting that I drove half an hour for (that could easily have been a damn phone call), for hand off stuff with the agency my company has hired to replace me.
I've talked to their senior dev a few times in the past, and he always struck me as an arrogant asshole. I assumed this meant that he had some level of competence to justify this attitude, but evidently not. Turns out he and his employees are a bunch of fucking idiots who don't even know how to use the command line, or anything but a cms with stock themes.
I'm taking all of the specific public stuff I've done for my employer off my resume as soon as I get back, because these dudes are going to fuck it up worse than a soup sandwich. -
Went to an interview.
Interviewer said "X language is easy compare to our stack".
The next month, I saw on a job post that they're looking for that X role.
I should buy some sandwich2 -
7-11 made the first drone food delivery in Reno NV. Slurpee's, donuts, coffee, candy and a sandwich to a families backyard.5
-
Heard its a norm from my ex-classname that its a norm be paid with equity instead of a fixed salary. whats ur take on this? please share. I for one cant imagine how i am suppose to survive without money.4
-
TL;DR: Microsoft updates break drivers, make unbootable. Hours wasted. Such rage.
Lol. I come home, try booting my windows desktop. Need desperately to play some videogames. Power is on. Monitor lights up. Bios splash. Windows startup spinner.
Suddenly, windows startup spinner gone, monitor shuts off. Wait 5 minutes, no change. Force power off and reboot, same behavior.
Google says it's probably a bad video driver. I don't remember installing any in the last month, but heck I don't use this computer for shit outside of games, so may as well do a full OS reinstall and hope the problem drivers are gone.
Reboot and force power off halfway through boot to let windows know something's wrong next boot. Literally no other way to get to alternate boot methods.
Run the reset. First time, percent-counter starts. I leave the room at 30% to go get a sandwich. Come back and it says it's "undoing changes". Something went wrong and I have no way of knowing what.
Oh well, I'll just try again and see what the problem was. NOPE! Completes windows reinstall without a hitch on the second attempt.
Okay, now let's get my stuff back on here. First things first, Microsoft updates for my processor, graphics card, "security". Halfway through the updates, monitor shuts off and I'm back to square one. IT WAS THE MICROSOFT DRIVER, NOT THE ONE FROM NVIDIA GEFORCE EXPERIENCE!!!!
Fucking Microsoft. To all ye who rail against Linux as a gaming platform because of its unstable drivers, observe here the stupidity of Microsoft and weep.3 -
Feeling bad, a woman on the street just asked me for money. I said I don't have cash. Then she said just a sandwich and I continued repeating no without any time to think if that was real. Maybe she was really hungry. I turned back but she disappeared.6
-
I recently started a new job where I’m working with someone who is vegan. This is great and I have no problems with it at all. My diet also leans heavily towards vegan and I understand and sympathize with the reasons that can lead to this choice.
However, I seem to keep ending up in inadvertent conflict with my colleague in ways that surprise and baffle me. For example:
* After buying and showing him a vegan product I had just purchased (and commenting that I had done so in the hope of avoiding a more animal-product based health solution), I found myself harangued at length about how healthy non-vegan foods weren’t actually healthy, and “Would you eat a human? Have they done trials on the benefits of eating humans? No? Exactly!”
* I sent an all-office IM asking if anyone wanted a cheese sandwich I had accidentally bought (accidentally in that I thought I had bought a different filling). I received an email back from him demanding that I don’t include him on any further “offensive” emails. This was followed up by an office update telling all staff to use work communications appropriately.
I enjoy my job and I did enjoy working with this person, but now I feel quite thrown and unsure of how to react to him. I’m pretty annoyed at being accused of being offensive for my use of the words “cheese sandwich” and don’t want to bring it up as I can’t see a way of that conversation going well (I’m not planning to apologize; I don’t think I need to?!). I realize the obvious solution is just to never ever mention food (or nutrition or words that aren’t vegan) again, but I need help with how to get back to a place where I feel like I am comfortable in my work environment rather than slightly on edge in case he kicks off at me again for some insane reason.11 -
Welp. My computer is perpetually blue-screening. Time to give up, eat a sandwich, and go to bed early, I guess.1
-
I recommend this to 'myself later'
#MISSING_OLD_RANTS #MY_OLD_RANT
you are in the flow maaan... you fucking rock it... i swear, to GOD!
I'm in the most mindblowing.. thinking out-of-the-box... thinking about the system... everything that just can help recover a little piece of your soul... and resolving the worst bugs you've ever had... and you are just fucking ROCK IT! And you are on the highway to finish it all, but then suddenly a thought kicks in, and won't let you "do ya' thing".
That little piece of shit is now not a man, not a thing, nor anything... just some old tune from your dreams... and NOW! You! You are in the flow... and suddenly know what is your youtube's playlist name... from your saved 170+ playlists...most of them with 30+ saved videos... and you fucking see through that madness now, and THAT contains that tune!!!
You dropp EVERYTHING! YOU ARE IN THE FLOW! And you just solved a "bug" inside you, 'cause if you listen that song, than finally will Soothe Your Pain (haha... https://youtu.be/MJpQx57uoRc )... And you know it... you are in a hurry, and you will forget the name again... so you just go to youtube... and try to search it... "piano"
you are always in a hurry... so -> hotkey Ctrl + T... (y -> auto youtube search) "y_piano" -> result is "personalized"...
yeah, innnntresting...
a lot of really irrelevant youtube videos...
Ok... scroll down...
loading more...
BOOM Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg between Mozart and Chopin...
"ok so personalized..." but not my playlist...
You check your youtube account... playlists... ALL PLAYLIST -> "Ahh finally, maybe a new search implementation!"...
Naaah... just shitty 170+ videos...
"thanks youtube..." No filter, no search... NOTHING...
"Fuck..." ok. fuck... go to old youtube page, you saved just for these situations... (remember... you are clever! and thank me later: https://youtube.com/view_all_playli... )
And it is not looking like it looked back in the day... and a little piece of it warns me that it will be removed soon... :'(
You lost the flow... you desperatly breaks down... What?!?!! that is the worst thing could happen to me... this is the only search option which works atleast a little bit... and it don't bothers anyone... and it will be abandoned, and shut down soon... :'(
So you sadly search that playlist... listen to that tune... turns up the volume... so that I can cry calmly in the corner, and no one can hear it...
And you know, everything you done, is fucked up, you don't even remember where this half sandwich came, in front of you?! nor what is the time?! anything...
You just wasted half an our, from your best fuckig time you can have right now... you could done all your tasks, all your bugs inside you... but you fucking wasted 30+ minutes (btw which is the most valuable thing in this fucking miserable life... and you wasted it to "search the youtube's UI where could you finally SEARCH WITH GOOGLE/YOUTUBE"!!!
And even that song is ruined for you now, 'cause this will be even worst in the future...rant #yt_fucked #google #google_the_search_engine #youtube_search_fucked #rip_yt_utility #my_old_rant #missing_old_rants2 -
I was telling a coworker about the shit hole known as San Fransisco. I don't say this lightly because it was a great place to visit when I was a child in the 80s. Some of the best memories in my life as a kid. Riding the trolleys was amazing. Watching the street performers was really really fun. Seeing the Golden Gate was awesome too.
Sadly, this is rapidly disappearing. The powers that be are allowing drug addicts to use anytime anyplace. They are giving them free food. People are shitting on sidewalks and dropping half eaten sandwiches on the sidewalk. So you will find half eaten sandwiches and poop next to each other. They have had to pay people 6 figures to clean this shit up.
As I was telling my coworker about this I said you will find poop and half eaten sandwiches on the sidewalk. Then I said: "old sandwich, new sandwich". He was unsure if he should laugh or puke.3 -
Windows Memory Diagnostic Tool did not bring me good news.... Hello 2017 you seem to be serving me a crap sandwich already..
-
Another rant got me thinking about this.
There must be plenty of us on here who have worked as part of or with a customer support department at some point in our careers.
What is the stupidest idea you've ever heard with regards to support?
To start things off my last place had problems with support, over worked, under staffed and expected to support 12+ versions of the same software, some clients were running installations over 15 years old without ever having applied an upgrade.
The management decided that they would get rid of the conventional triage system for tickets, you know the sort priority 1 would be system down etc.
Instead we had to log tickets at whatever priority the client said it was. Customer report written by the client has a spelling mistake? Yep that's a P1.
Client wants to change the colour of their menu? Yep P1
As you can imagine that went down like a shit sandwich1 -
I felt like a Dev Hero after losing both my laptop and my car from the deer encounter. Really needed that delicious sandwich from Dev’s Kosher Deli to unwind from the stressful event. The pickles are to die for...2
-
I contimnue to just hate javascript, especially react. just fucking go die. You can't fix a shit sandwich by wrapping it in fucking typescript. Gah, fucking hate this crap.1
-
Me: Searches youtube
“I asked her out and her response all the time is ‘No’, what should I do”
{{Premium ads popped up for the 1000th time}}
Would you like to subscribe for premium? You get free sandwich everyday, a back massage, free medicure and pedicure, unlimited everything.
Me: clicks “No”
Youtube:1 -
Rant 1
---
Today i had the first meeting with others in my new job. Why do ALL indians sound exactly the same omg. Its like a clone nation. Copy and paste. All have the same voice same accent same way of talking thinking explaining etc. Why are indians like this
Rant 2
---
I wish i could just get fucking fired. Only 1 month in and im getting sick of this bullshit already. Havent even started the bullshit. I want to work remotely from HOME and i cant. $8.125 an hour wageslave in office. I FUCKING WASTE $200 MINIMUM A MONTH JUST ON GAS TO GET HERE TO OFFICE INSTEAD OF SAVING IT BY WORKING REMOTeLY. That means i get $200 (if I'm lucky) or less leftover every month. Just enough to buy a sandwich to survive and continue being a good slave.
FUCK
Y
O
u40 -
Why is it that I eat 60% of my daily food intake past midnight while I'm coding, anyway? I could sit down for a real meal but nooooo, let's have a leftover sandwich at 1:30am, desperately praying I don't wake anyone else up to see my shame. These projects have thrown off my entire living schedule.1
-
“Recovery Project”: a massive onion peeling exercise that leads to a big nasty can of worms while the individual that created it stands by and blames you as you struggle to fix the shit sandwich he created.4
-
What's the general consensus on the forced training courses? We now have a 3rd party arranging a course about FooBar and our managers though it was a great idea for everyone in my team to participate. Since...well you don't know when you need FooBar, so it's good to learn it now! And any education is only good. Makes employees smarter.
Except that I am not interested on FooBar. I don't use it. I can google it when I need it. I can read a book. I could travel to a 3-day course with 9 hours of straight lecturing per day and 200 slides with 10 second pause between them. But I am dead shit sure that after 30mins you lose the focus and after 1 week you remember nothing.
And everyone who's ever been on any company arranged courses, you know that there's always some guy who already knows everything. So starting from the first second he wants to challenge the trainer. Have a dialogue. Discuss about the problems that he has seen. Noone else cares. So you have 30 people listening to 2 guys debating.
But hey, maybe after 6-12months our company starts using FooBar and then we have a couple of dozen geniuses who have taken that multi-thousand-euro class. Or not.
At least you get a cup of coffee and a sandwich on mornings and afternoons.2 -
Self-isolation takes its toll on people's lives and, naturally, on interviews for our platform . So, a technical interview with a DevOps engineer at Zoom. The candidate started to surprise us already in the first minutes of the meeting. To begin with he apparently decided that the formality was enough at the first stage of the interview and decided to talk to the technical experts in a T-shirt and lying on the couch. That would have been fine, but in the middle of the interview his caring wife came in and insisted that the husband should eat his sandwiches and drink his tea. The candidate tried to remain unperturbed and undistracted, but his short "no", "don't want to", "come on!" didn't take effect. At one point, the applicant's wife escalated the tone of the conversation and threw a sandwich at him, promising to do the same with the tea. The supervisor and I became worried about the candidate and already in the voice of his wife began to persuade him to take a break for an afternoon snack. And such stressful interviews happen, and not at the company's initiative.7
-
Dev1 : Make me a sandwich.
Dev2: What ?? Make it yourself
Dev1: Sudo make me a sandwich
Dev2: okay2 -
Hello devrant,
Need guidance about QR code based coupon system.
In my restaurant I sale few food items. My 50+ customer bought food daily (on delivery). They are asking me for coupon system like I sale one sandwich for half 30 INR , they bought 3-4 per day.
So they can buy coupon of 100 sandwich on every delivery my delivery boy will scan QR code of customer and their sandwich count will decrease accordingly.
This will apply for every food item.
Can you suggest me current software for this.1 -
Besides all the other problems with js, I have to ask the experts:
What is the error or error classes commonly caused in javascript by conceptually treating prototypes or dictionaries as objects proper?
How or in what way does this hurt development as opposed to languages that make distinctions between prototypes and objects?8