OK.
1. So i tindered.
2. I got a really nice girl.
3. We chatted really long and good.
4. We tried to meetup it did not work because of our schedule. New
job on my end, she is a student.
5. I thought its over. Fine whatever.
6. She gives me her number.
7. We continue chat on whatsapp
8. Blablabla 3 days long, she gets bored and tries to friendzone me
9. I revert the shit and state i wanna be serious and there wont be a
friendzone/nice guy comin from me.
10. She happy and continues to chat.
11. I get emtionally invested in her.
12. We exchange thoughts dreams and music.
13 We want to meetup at weekend. I cant. Got a family wedding all
weekend.
14. We want to meetup the second week.
I cant. Im off on a company trip. Again new job here.
15. So we say in the week after I get back.
15a. Before the weekend we need to deliver an rc and go all out to hold
the deadline.
15b. We deliver, but shit happens on the customer side. His fault but we
get the blame.
15c I go onto the company trip.
16. We chat and i send her pictures of the trip over the weekend so she
sees I care.
17. She seems fine. And happy.
18. I come back from the trip late night and need to work the next day
jetlag style.
19. I work jetlag style. And try to fix the shit from last week.
20. I come home really tired and looking forward to date day tomorrow.
21. I cant do anything. My home looks like shit and the bag still
unpacked. I just eat and fall asleep.
I feel bad bcs my home will turn her down instantly if we make it to my
place.
Need to hope that it does not come to this.
22. Date day comes. Today.
23. I wake up at 6 early to plan ahead to make sure my clothes are fine
and i arrive on time in the office to exit early.
24. I expect to check what goes on today in the city and give her the
location to meet and time.
25. I enter office and immeadetly get caught up in meeting planning, dev
questions and the meeting itself because the project is on edge.
26. We have a 5hours long meeting where people go on and on and on.
27. 3h later in the meeting:
my brain was fried and around 12 i go to lunch with some people.
28. Meanwhile the city is turning into a rainy mess of a shitty day. No
way I can have a nice walk with her like that. Bars and coffeshops are
just to boring.
29. So i eat to regain some sense and we go back to the office.
Meanwhile I am thinking all kinds of locations and stuff in my head.
30. Havent given her any update since a good morning in the morning.
31. We reenter the meeting. Things continue like before. The project is
on impossible demands and impossible timelines. Still we try to do our
best.
32 3h later on 3pm I tell her i am in a long meeting and working on a
meetingspot.
33. shes not happy.
34. I get a call from a relative
35. i need to go out and take the call. not good for the collegues.
again new job here.
36. family trouble,  money trouble, goverment demands. I promise to
handle that tomorrow. Before work.
37. i get back into the meeting.
38. still super slow and no results.
39. need to focus but start to check for locations on my phone.
40. she asks me where i am
41. I send her my location.
42. she thinks i am saying she should pick me up!
43 i joke and say no definitly not.
44. shes pissed.
45.  I decide for a coffeeshop. after work. and send her the location
46. She says to call it off.
47. I go all in and go romance style. I say ill wait there even if she
does not come to show her how much i care.
U know to avoid the lets do it some other time fuckery and then it never
happens.
47. She goes quiet.
48. 2h later we finish the meeting. Meanwhile QA foudn a bug we need to
fix because why not.
49. I got 30 minutes to find the bug and fix it before I need to go to
uphold my word.
50. I find out what to do, but it might break a lot of other things
without careful test and implementation. Collegues says he takes it.
51 I feel bad but I need to go. I even leave earlier because otherwise I
would not be on time.
52. I arrive 15 minutes early. I grab two coffee2go and wait outside,
53. Shitty weather, sometimes rain, sometimes sunny, cant decide what it
wants.
54. The weather is just like how I feel.
55. I wait 1 1/2h
56. I think I should feel stupid, For gods sake its tinder. People dont
give a crap, Enough people around why should I Invest so much into this?
But I dont feel stupid. Because this is how I want it. I dont want
appointments, I dont want safety. I decided for her and I went all in.
57. I send her pics from the sceneray as proof that I waited,
58. I think I blew it. She is still quiet.
59. Friends are asking me for plans for the weekend. I wish I could say
I already have some with her.
60. I feel lost right now. But my head says I put too much stress on
her, And i fucked up with the planning. I should have been more precise.
My head also says that i am putting myself into the victim role, which
is wrong always. Should I continue to reach out to her? Is there
something I could do still?

So I just got offered an internship at my dream company in London. The programme sounds super nice, it looks like I'll learn a ton of stuff, and it's super well paid.

BUT MY FUCKING USELESS UNIVERSITY WON'T LET ME GO BECAUSE THEY WANT AT LEAST 4 MONTHS LONG INTERNSHIPS AND THIS ONE IS SUMMER ONLY. I just hate that fucking school, it's the opportunity of my dreams but they won't let me go because of some stupid rule..

Fuck uninspired jr devs that are simply collecting a pay check.

I have been handed a project that a jr dev was allowed to wallow on for over two fucking years. This lazy mother fucker managed to create 5 functions, a whole fucking mess of bullshit that I now have to straighten out on top of the 8 other things that I have to deliver on in the next month.

They never followed requirements. Not-a-one. The API is fully broken. The DB schema is BEYOND fucked. There's ZERO validation/sanitation on I/O. The deployments only work half the fucking time. Their code is so spaghetti I'm getting triggered from when I worked at Olive Garden with Eminem. But hey, at least they were able to demo it to the client to say "it works".

I don't condone violence, but every time I find malformed if statements, linter exceptions, broken deploy configurations in this project -- I just want to kick them in their stupid fucking face.

Wherever you ended up you piece of shit, I hope your dreams of becoming a rich asshole only bring you unending despair. I believe you can make it though, because you're already halfway there.

Just did an internship test for Autodesk and came away from it with the conclusion that I'm really stupid.
May as well give up on my dreams.

I have had it with this wack-ass code, with its spaghetti-looking call tree, nonsensical variable naming, comments a screen-height long and as clear as mud mixed with diarrhea, conditions incomprehensible enough to make kafka depressed, and condtions nested deeper than a goddamn ant colony.

In fact, it has more levels of indentation than one of those stupid iceberg memes - the top is pretty and barely afloat while the rest of it is a fat mess all the way down that only serves to sink your motherfucking hopes and dreams.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tl;dr was told I couldn't and found I like programming. :)

Went to some school for testing out different industries but didn't have any goal nor found anything I was really interested in..
So i was tested for qualifications and told I was too stupid to be in IT..
So I decided to prove them wrong, went for an it supporter ground course and aced it with top grades + extra courses..
But still had no goals or dreams.
On that education, I met a friend who wanted to be a web programmer, so I decided to walk that path and aced another education with top grades..
Then I found, that I actually sorta enjoy programming and doesn't get bored quickly so then, I decided to plant my flag and become a programmer :)

being physically disabled is such a nightmare. i have experienced a whole different personality of being dependent on others , being incapable of basic tasks and feeling incomplete all the times. it's very humbling, and i have found a whole new respect for human body and social conduct.

just want to get whole again. don't know how long its going to take a humerus arm fracture to join back on is own, now that i got a plate screwed to the broken parts to keep them together.
the doctors will probably ask me to remove the external brace after a few months followed by exercises for next more months the complete bends/stretch will probably take 6-9 months and bone will join enough in 1-2 year after which i could get the plate removed (this is the happy case, not considering the high risk of my bones getting permanently twisted or plate getting envolped by bone mass )

everything simply sucks till then. imagine getting pushed back in your life by 2+ yrs in your prime age of 25.
farewell to my dreams of adventure sports, senior goals and gappy marriage .

folks, don't do stupid stuff that can get your body into trouble, you WILL regret.

Dreams are like this. In my dream I got fan of a band, had a whole adventure with them. It was long long long. Then in the end, I wanted to rip their CD, because CD eight was awesome. I put CD eight in the computer (that magically still had a CD drive) and started to crunch hard, how to rip an audio CD on linux? Not knowing made me wake up shocked. Frustrated as fuck.

So, now I am fan of a band, no idea how the music goes and what fucking music program is used to rip a CD on linux?

Aaaargh.

#just a thought

Dear son ,
You are now past the age when I should just slap you and make you do whatever i want to. No, its time now, you have to think. Try being socially acceptable, follow their(society's) rules and limits ,run in those competition races and be the person society wants you to be , if you want.
And if you don't or if the society doesn't accept you; then fuck them all. Let them go to hell. Make a world out of your own. Follow your passion with extreme dedication and make your dreams come true.
Eat, drink ,fuck,play, spend money,buy treasures,hit the gym, donate to poor , Travel the whole world and smash your success on to the face of those stupid ass people .
You don't need those people. But when you show your lifestyle to the world , their will be people who would like you, who would want to be with you , who would want to be like you and their it is. You wanted a world, you made a world out of your own.

- be happy

Social media is bad for your self image. When you look at LinkedIn, everybody is making super cool applications and sites everybody just loves!

My work is more of a collection of bad designs intended to inspire more belief in the oncoming failcascade that is the next client's marketing brainfart hoping for happenstance but being shattered on the impervious anvil of shattered hopes and dreams.

It's a shitshow, but at least I get to press all the buttons to advance the stupid plot of a bad comedy.

Everytime I wake up,
I question whether if I'm stuck in time or not. All my life I've wanted to go out and explore, not be isolated in this tiny place called home that I knew far too well.
I wanted to be in a place with a different timezone, a place with languages that I don't know. That's where I want to go.
I feel as if everyday remains the same and I'm slowly going insane. I want to run, too see, to feel a different kind of breeze.
Yet there's so many limitations and hindrance; Money, that's all I need, money that I don't have. It's so sad that something that's claimed to be insignificant for happiness could limit you from so many things.
The things that will make you happy, the things that will make you learn.
All because of one stupid limitation and all your dreams, crash
and burn.

So there's this place I go to when I sleep sometimes. I call it "The Circus", though it's more like the arcane sanctuary from Diablo II, if the arcane sanctuary was a hip arthouse and shit. Weird place, but I have friends there, they're like oneiric amalgamations of people I know, we all hang out at the Circus from time to time.

Now, each one has their own really bizarre power. One of the girls, for instance, bites off the head of a pidgeon and that heals her and makes her stronger. Think Ozzy Osbourne, but it's actually cutie goth Popeye. Also she's perpetually drunk for some reason.

Anyway, after having a brief reunion at this ornate round table we just happen to have laying around in the kitchen, we go out to hunt. That's the thing we do, we hunt for magical artifacts, and there's these demon gnomes all around trying to fuck us up. They suck, so we fight them with our powers and kung fu, that kinda vibe.

So it was a good hunt, right, but we have like a scoreboard based on mystical prowess and turns out mine is the lowest. Pidgeon Bitter, who is leading my squad, starts mocking me and says "hehe you have no real powers!" and I'm actually mad about that because it's true, I don't have any, I just fly around and do nothing useful in combat.

Anyway, we then bring the artifacts we collected to fucking Zordon, and he's like well done rangers. Turns out bald motherfucker in a tube doesn't discriminate based on mission score, so good on him. Everybody goes to bed, yeah we have bedrooms at the Circus for some reason, and I can't sleep because of what my captain said.

That's when I do something stupid, I think the dream logic here is I'm having a character arc moment or some shit, doesn't matter -- the point is I embark on a hunt all by myself, and I'm overrun by these fucking demon gnomes. I try to fight them with kung fu and escape with this magic crystal I found, but there's too many of them...

And so my true power finally awakens, and it's a fucking explosion. As in, I become a fire elemental, and in the dream this is good because I just cook all the gnomes alive and make off with the artifact, but I wake up before I can run to Pidgeon Bitter and smear my success in her captivating bloodstained drunk ass face.

My thoughts? Fire magic is two-times lame. One, because I was hoping for thunder, or ice, or something edgy like shadow or whatever. But NO, I got fire. Two, it's lame because it's the most uninventive, straight-forward fucking power in a setting where everything is obtuse, so it's out of place. I just go like really really mad and release an explosive pillar of flame, whoa, so original. Also casting this hurts me for some reason and it destroys everything around me.

And given that I've had other dreams of the Circus where it was obliterated and no-one trusts me anymore, I think it's safe to say those were a flash-forward to next season, and what happens next is I just randomly go into BLIND RAGE mode while taking a shit and everyone but me dies. Just a theory.

What is your Circus power? Let us know in the comments below!