I can’t help but wonder who programmed the firmware for this.

When you're so into your project that you feel like peeing is a waste of time...

I thought the duck can help, but instead it pooped on my laptop

It's a sad sad sad story

When your vending machine throws an unhandled exception...

Wish me luck, guys.

I'm launching Eclipse IDE while having a Chrome window open.

May the Gods of RAM be with me !

Guess who just got his fucking degree :D

My colleague want to change notification sound on application I created. I said it support only WAV file. What they do is change extension of MP4 file to WAV and report me that my program isn't work.

*sigh*

When will people understand that you can't get quality software made for $5 by some random from Fiverr? Just as I'm about to confirm a quick Freelance job they tell me they've found someone on Fiverr that will do it for a fraction of the amount. It's happening more and more. Don't get me wrong, I'm still getting plenty of work but I see it as a bit of an insult. Comparing the quality of work I do with someone who pumps out 5 programs an hour.

And yes, I do realise there are people on Fiverr that do care about their work, there just doesn't seem to be many of them.

As a Dev,
I hate writing Docs.

As a Dev,
I hate it when there's no Docs.

Vicious Cycle.

Sleep schedule : fucked 😮
Eating schedule : fucked 😓
Me : not getting fucked 😭

Rose is red,
Violet is blue.
C0FFEE is not brown,
But a mix of green and blue.

My colleagues treat me like a god.
.
.
.
Nobody plays any attention to my existence until they want something 😏

I have decided to never write commits.

I will never write documentation.

I will write my code in the most confusing way possible.

I will include useless code.

I will always git commit with the message "asdfghjkl" or "HAHA LOLZ I DONT NOW WAT I WOROTEEE"

I will work at Apple.

I am xenophobic.

I will leave the company right before we push to production.

I will make so many friends.

When I said make that text italic, I didn’t mean to make it green, white, and red. That’s Italian.

Ha ha ha 😀😁😂

Waiting for those dev rant stickers

Our scrum master is called ScrumBag in our department xD

Does coffee counts as a tool ?

When the new employee shows up with new ideas and is all excited to work there.

When frontend is ready before backend

When you can't work because the company forgot to renew your Visual Studio license.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish there is such thing as branch in a relationship. So that whenever a couple are having a fight, they can create a branch and work their shit out in that branch and eventually merge to the master branch.

Wait
Merge....
That just costs.... more conflicts

True shit

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

When you have this view outside your room😍😇

I think server down time is because of rain 🌧

Client: how much for a face recognition system?
...
Client: well fuck you that's too expensive, I ll have my nephew do it.

Oooohhhh how times have changed

Bitcoin is almost worth $2,000 US