We got an email today which stated that if the government closes schools, everyone has to work from home. Well, it just do happens that from midnight this will be the case. This is going to be funny, my computer is unbelievably crappy and it will barely be able to run the project itself, let alone Webstorm & Co. But at least I can sleep as long as I want!

Protip: If you're using a tiling window manager, you can detach the file browser on the left of any Jetbrians IDE.

This way you can switch to it using the shortcuts you're used to from the WM, as well as resize it very easily.
Also this way if you are not using the integrated terminal of the IDE, you can have the file browser span the full height of your screen, while the terminal and the IDE share the hight on the right.

Disclaimer: I don't know if this is common knowledge, I'm sorry if it is, but I was completely shocked that I missed this feature for years.

We are switching our frontend templating language from dust.js to twig.js... Today I converted 1600 lines of dust to twig.
Do you know the feeling, when you're so hungover that if you see just a single drop of alcohol you have to throw up? I feel the same way about dust right now.

When you accidentally write a color hexadecimal code as a 'string' in CSS, that's how you know you write too much backend code.

Windows

My brother (14, at that time 12) is in puberty and just doesn't get off his computer to learn or do anything useful. He actually got bad grades because of this.

I made an app for my mom as well as a "virus" for my brother's computer that she could use to start and stop my brother's mouse wobble around randomly. Whenever he should be learning, my mother would press a button and he couldn't do anything anymore.

He eventually found out how to start YouTube videos using only his keyboard, so the next update came with a feature that simulated a random keypress instead of the one my brother was actually intending to type whenever he pressed a key.

The fun thing was, that he never found out why that was happening and just assumed his computer was broken.

Just received this beauty by a customer. They "made some changes to the HTML". WTF?! Also, alongside was another docx called "printscreen.docx" with only a picture and nothing more in it. I would really like to laugh, but it would evolve into sad, depressing crying.

(Sorry for the "screenshot", but this is on a very restricted Winshit laptop we got from the company who buys our stuff.)

Picking up a SOAP in jail is preferable to using the protocol.

Not really a rant about coding itself, but it's a rent, I'm a dev, so here ya go:

I have a German citizenship, but am living in Hungary temporarily. Also, I need internet. So I go to the website of UPC, register, order a package, etc. Just as I would do anywhere else....... Except for the fact , that they just called me that I should send them my passport, because they neither accept my German ID, my Hungarian registration card or anything else. I DON'T HAVE A PASSPORT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! I LIVE IN THE EU, I DON'T NEED A PASSPORT!!

But the best part was when they told me I should just ask my mother to make the contract for me, because she does have a Hungarian citizenship. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!

Is it a coincidence, that the word "clienterror" can not be spelled without "terror"?

"Please add a feature to check the user's internet connection before the application starts."
-- THIS IS A GOD DAMN WEB APPLICATION, YOU DUMB MORONS! Maybe I should add a feature next that checks for the user's computer being turned on or what? How about making sure the application isn't run when the power is out?!
Jesus fuck.

Dear Oracle,
why do I have to have an X server running for your stupid Oracle Database to install?
Why are you sometimes capable of writing good software like VirtualBox, and then fuck up simple tasks like creating a docker image for your fucking Database? (Seriously, try it, you will not be able to set up a simple Oracle Database using their official Dockerfiles)
Also, what makes you think that -4 is the "most appropriate exit status"?!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Fuck you really hard you proprietary piece of shit!

!rant
You know you're in the right company when your new project leader sends you a "welcome to the project" email with a meme in it...

Yesterday I got stoned as never before with a few friends of mine. I don't remember everything, but appearantly I coded a neural network using synaptic.js that teaches itself addition. That's impressive because it's my first NN ever.

Also, my friends are pissed now, because I was on my laptop the whole time doing "some advanced IT stuff".

"Hey I am a programmer too! I can code anything, I bet I'm better than you!"
-
"Huh, that sounds cool! What languages do you like to write your programs in?"
-
............ "English"

🤦🏻‍♂🤦🏻‍♂
True story by the way, some guy I just met did this. I was not sure how to react. Should I laugh? Should I cry? Should I kill myself? Should I kill him?

(Sorry for the "screenshot", I'm using gentoo and too lazy to compile some screenshot software just for one picture on devRant)

The company I work in had to build a software that establishes a connection to a MySQL database running on an external server. It doesn't work for the client company because the firewall is very restrictive and only lets through connections on port 80, so we had to build a fucking http server that forwards SQL queries to the MySQL server and returns the result. This is so horrible!
(Running MySQL on port 80 isn't an option as any other connection type than http is blocked by the firewall)

How to quit smoking as a developer, tutorial:
#1: You're only allowed to smoke when every unit test is passing.
#2: ???
#3: Profit

I started creating a complete API documentation for devRant. What do you guys think?
It's far from finished yet, but I'm heavily developing it right now.
Here's the repository: https://github.com/ThePlatzhalter/...
A preview is available at https://htmlpreview.github.io//...

The company I work for insists on having windows on every work laptop although the work I do doesn't require windows. I bought a new hdd, replaced the old one and installed gentoo. Not sure if they could fire me if they found out, however my productivity increased from the first day on.

devRant has a new feature: if you type in your password, the app will automatically censor it using stars! Try it out in the comments!

Today I wrote a mail to the company to record two weeks of illness. Now, the mail started off being about my holidays in a few weeks, but I decided to write the illness mail first. Stupid me forgot to change the subject from "holidays" to "illness"... I'm so fucked. Wish me luck!

We learned Java in school this year. Everyone who did not comply to the coding style defined in some stone-age books, got a bad grade, including me, who rather used a "normal" style everyone uses. They thought us this:
CLASSNAMES, Constants, MethodNames, VariableNames, etc.
Worse than that, they used german names for pretty much everything including classes, variables and methods.

friend: "oh my god i have a virus!"
me: "let me see..."
me: *ticks the "don't allow this page to create any more alerts" checkbox in chrome, then closes the page*
friend: "how did you do that?"
me: "magic!"

!rant
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...

drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
(...)
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"

I don't get why people are still using WinRAR. I discovered 7-zip years ago and while it's very minimalistic, open source and ad-free (also without any annoying "buy me now" shit), there has never been an archive I couldn't open using it.

"Go check out the EAGLE documentation so you know how to properly parse its generated xml files"
(The whole docs just says "sorry, no documentation" every fucking where, not just the part in the picture...)

If I was to create a movie in which there should be a scene with a hacker in front of his computer, I'd never hire professional designers and animators to create fancy videos that can be played back on the computer said hacker is working on. Instead, I'd just run make on the Linux kernel, unplug the keyboard and let the actor hit it as fast as he can. Should look professional enough.