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Search - "55""
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Website design philosophies:
Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."
Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"
Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."
Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"
Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"
Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."
Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"
University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."32 -
Somehow I feel like I personally owe Linus for git.
17:50 Colleague whispers "fuck" and the entire project we've worked on for the last half year responds with 404.
17:55 A quick diagnosis shows that she wrote "rm - rf ../" instead of "./" when she threw out her staging dir an thereby deleted everything.
17:58 git pull, everything is back.
18:15 everything is configured and we're up and running again.
**Alternative Timeline without Version control **
17:58 We start looking through Backup folders
18:20 We're fairly confident to have found the most up to date Backup in /var/backup/newback/v2/june/new/released/ and start copying back into the project directory.
19:30 Some files are missing we start patching shit up.
19:40 I realize how much work went down the drain and start strangling my colleague. The Api seems to do the most important things again.
20:00 My colleagues dead body is hidden and I'm 80% confident that the tasks depending on us should run.
Next day: They didn't run. Every nightly build failed, nobody can do anything useful.
A week later : Shits starting to work again, all lost files are replaced. Replacement for dead colleague still missing though.
It's moments like this that make you really appreciate the luxurys we have nowadays...5 -
I'd like to extend my heartfelt fuck-you to the following persons:
- The recruiter who told me that at my age I wouldn't find a job anymore: FUCK YOU, I'll send you my 55 birthday's cake candles, you can put all of them in your ass, with light on.
- The Project Manager that after 5 rounds of interviews and technical tests told me I didn't have enough experience for his project: be fucked in an Agile way by all member of your team, standing up, every morning for 15 minutes, and every 2 weeks by all stakeholders.
- The unemployment officer who advised me to take low level jobs, cut my expenses and salary expectations: you can cut your cock and suck it, so you'll stop telling bullshit to people
- The moron that gave me a monster technical assignment on Big Data, which I delivered, and didn't gave me any feedback: shove all your BIG DATA in your ass and open it to external integrations
- the architect who told me I should open my horizons, because I didn't like React: put a reactive mix in your ass and close it, so your shit will explode in your mouth
- the countless recruiter who used my cv to increase their db, offering fake jobs: print all your db on paper and stuff your ass with that, you'll see how big you will be
To all of them, really really fuck you.12 -
Don’t drink and code. Definitely don’t drink and commit. Absolutely don’t drink and push to master at 4:55 on a Friday.3
-
Electronics store clerk: "Can I help you?"
Me: "Good afternoon sir. I'm a developer and lifelong PC gamer. I received a second hand PS4, and might buy a next gen console at the end of the year. People tell me that in front of this soft wide desk chair people call a "couch", you need some sort of large computer monitor to enjoy console gaming"
Clerk: "Yeah, we sell TVs. What TV do you have now?"
Me: "I don't own a TV. I just want a huge 4K computer display with a good response time, excellent refresh rate, and great contrast"
Clerk: "OK so this is an entry level 55" smart TV. It's 120hz, QLED, has full array local dimming. It's great for gaming. It's €1000. We also have this LG OLED smart TV for €1200, which is a step up in terms of contrast and response time..."
Me: "Wait... Smart TV? No, I don't want a TV with an operating system. I want a computer display."
Clerk: "There aren't a lot of big computer displays. We have this ASUS ROG 55" computer monitor. It's also 120hz. Very similar response time, but the brightness and contrast aren't as great, it's edge-lit"
Me, trying really hard to make out the contrast differences under ugly fluorescent lights of the store: "So it's a worse big couch display, without smart OS. How much is it?"
Clerk: "€3500"
Me: "So what you're saying is that while the displays are similar or even better, the operating system on all these TVs is so incredibly bad, you have to give €2500 discount for people to even buy it?"30 -
I'm 54 y.o.
I think I'm completely outdated in my skill, as in the last 14 years, I worked on a specific business problem, with an old technology: a JSP application + javascript + postgres.
I do understand software development, agile, web application development, linux server, basic/moderate AWS skills, etc.
Now they laid me off instead of including me in the evolution of version 2 of the software. Maybe covid, company had almost no cash-flow. Well they have now...So basically they fired me to find money to rewrite the application.
I feel without hope at my age.
I'm a generalist.
I can understand fairly well everything you'll throw at me, reactnative, angular, nosql, python, but I have little first-hand experience.
I don't have a lot of management skills, even if I've given frequent presentations to C-roles and board, and I implemented a whole agile methodology in my team.
I don't know what to do.
The amount of technology to study is huge nowadays. When I was younger I could get away with some php and java.
Full-stack developer is a big word for me. Maybe I could handle a full stack web application, but not from scratch.
I feel at my age, I'll compete with 20-something guys with better skills and lower salary requests.
I don't think I can pull a night anymore.
I'm trying to shoot high to management positions with no much success.
I'd like to go on developing, I know that there are 50-something developer out there, but who managed to find a new position at 55? at 60?
As soon as I finish the few money I spared, I'll be on the street, I'l be the "website for food" guy.49 -
On Thursday, May 20, 2088 9:55:59 PM, my life will be complete: Unix Epoch time will equal 0xdeadbeef.10
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At the moment I'm trying to optimize a slow old MySQL query from a project I made several years ago. The execution time is in excess of 55 seconds. Not good :(
After about an hour of experimenting I finally set a good index and reduced the time to < 3 seconds.
Chuffed :)3 -
TL;Dr be specific, it's actually helpful.
Client rings... "The internet is down"
Me "ok where are you exactly and how are you connecting"
"Ugh the WiFi! Just fix it"
"Ok but where are you?"
"At $companyname"
"Ok and which wi..."
"The wifi?!! Can you do anything right?"
Well... I'm allowed flexibility in terms of pleasantry...
"Ok, there are 3 buildings, 55 rooms, 2 SSID's, 17 access points, 3 routers a RADIUS server and 2 gateways... Be specific or I'll do nothing"
Simple reboot of an access point, but c'mon... It's not a secret where you are7 -
8:30 - get into office, boot windows
Windows: "Oh man, here's this update. If you're not doing it now, I will start in 15 minutes. No questions asked!"
9:45 - checking update status
Windows: "Well i'm nearly finished, just give me a sec..."
9:55 - whats's my pc doing
Windows: "Hey mate, I did it! I also restored those neat shortcuts to MS EDGE for you. Please use my browser"
10:00 - Well i can finally start working
Windows: "Yeah... you would. But i had to remove theese few applications, because they are not compatible anymore."
11:00 - Okay, installed all my stuff, did some coding. Time to test it. Lets boot up my VM.
Windows: "Oh so sorry mate. Not gonna show my network devices to Virtualbox anymore. Have fun reconfiguring your connections without them."
Fuck this fucking Windows 10!
The only reason we have Win10 on our machines, is because people in my office panicked the last day of the "free upgrade period" (and i was on holidays)...16 -
TLDR;
Wrote a slick scheduling and communication system allowing me to assign photography resources based on time and location.
I'll tell you a little secret ... I'm not actually a dev. I'm a photographer, pretending to be a dev.
Or ... perhaps it's the other way around? (I spend most of my time writing code these days, but only for me - I write the software I use to run my business).
I own a photography studio - we specialize in youth volleyball photography (mostly 12-18 year old girls with a bit of high school, college and semi-pro thrown in for good measure - it's a hugely popular sport) and travel all over the US (and sometimes Europe) photographing.
As a point of scale, this year we photographed a tournament in Denver that featured 100 volleyball courts (in one room!), playing at the same time.
I'm based in California and fly a crew of part-time staff around to these events, but my father and I drive our booth equipment wherever it needs to go. We usually setup a 30'x90' booth with local servers, download/processing/cashier computers and 45 laptops for viewing/ordering photographs. Not to mention 16' drape and banners, tons of samples, 55' TVs, etc. It's quite the production.
We photograph by paid signup only - when there are upwards of 800 teams/9,600 athletes per weekend playing, and you only have four trained photographers, you've got to manage your resources!
This of course means you have to have a system for taking sign those sign ups, assigning teams to photographers and doing so in the most efficient manner possible based on who is available when the team is playing. (You can waste an awful lot of time walking from one court to another in a large convention center - especially if you have to navigate through large crowds - not to mention exhausting yourself).
So this year I finally added a feature I've wanted for quite some time - an interactive court map. I can take an image of the court layout from the tournament and create an HTML version in our software. As I mouse over requests in one window, the corresponding court is highlighted on the map in another browser window. Each photographer has a color associated with them. When I assign requests to a photographer, the court is color coded with the color of the photographer. This allows me to group assignments to minimize photographer walk time and keep them in a specific area. It's also very easy to look at the map and see unassigned requests and look to see what photographer is nearby.
This year I also integrated with Twilio and setup a simple set of text shortcuts that photographers can use to let our booth staff know where they are, if they have memory cards that need picking up, if they need water/coffee/snack, etc. They can also move assignments on their schedule or send and SOS for help if it looks like they aren't going to be able to photograph a team.
Kind of a CLI via the phone. :)
The additions have turned out to be really useful and has made scheduling and managing the photographers much easier that it was in the past.18 -
ARGH. I wrote a long rant containing a bunch of gems from the codebase at @work, and lost it.
I'll summarize the few I remember.
First, the cliche:
if (x == true) { return true; } else { return false; };
Seriously written (more than once) by the "legendary" devs themselves.
Then, lots of typos in constants (and methods, and comments, and ...) like:
SMD_AGENT_SHCEDULE_XYZ = '5-year-old-typo'
and gems like:
def hot_garbage
magic = [nil, '']
magic = [0, nil] if something_something
success = other_method_that_returns_nothing(magic)
if success == true
return true # signal success
end
end
^ That one is from our glorious self-proclaimed leader / "engineering director" / the junior dev thundercunt on a power trip. Good stuff.
Next up are a few of my personal favorites:
Report.run_every 4.hours # Every 6 hours
Daemon.run_at_hour 6 # Daily at 8am
LANG_ENGLISH = :en
LANG_SPANISH = :sp # because fuck standards, right?
And for design decisions...
The code was supposed to support multiple currencies, but just disregards them and sets a hardcoded 'usd' instead -- and the system stores that string on literally hundreds of millions of records, often multiple times too (e.g. for payment, display fees, etc). and! AND! IT'S ALWAYS A FUCKING VARCHAR(255)! So a single payment record uses 768 bytes to store 'usd' 'usd' 'usd'
I'd mention the design decisions that led to the 35 second minimum pay API response time (often 55 sec), but i don't remember the details well enough.
Also:
The senior devs can get pretty much anything through code review. So can the dev accountants. and ... well, pretty much everyone else. Seriously, i have absolutely no idea how all of this shit managed to get published.
But speaking of code reviews: Some security holes are allowed through because (and i quote) "they already exist elsewhere in the codebase." You can't make this up.
Oh, and another!
In a feature that merges two user objects and all their data, there's a method to generate a unique ID. It concatenates 12 random numbers (one at a time, ofc) then checks the database to see if that id already exists. It tries this 20 times, and uses the first unique one... or falls through and uses its last attempt. This ofc leads to collisions, and those collisions are messy and require a db rollback to fix. gg. This was written by the "legendary" dev himself, replete with his signature single-letter variable names. I brought it up and he laughed it off, saying the collisions have been rare enough it doesn't really matter so he won't fix it.
Yep, it's garbage all the way down.16 -
It was around 14:55, I had no energy, and was ready to call it a day, but then I messaged my boss on slack, "Ballmer Peak". He comes back 5 mins later and my desk looked like it this.3
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OK.
1. So i tindered.
2. I got a really nice girl.
3. We chatted really long and good.
4. We tried to meetup it did not work because of our schedule. New
job on my end, she is a student.
5. I thought its over. Fine whatever.
6. She gives me her number.
7. We continue chat on whatsapp
8. Blablabla 3 days long, she gets bored and tries to friendzone me
9. I revert the shit and state i wanna be serious and there wont be a
friendzone/nice guy comin from me.
10. She happy and continues to chat.
11. I get emtionally invested in her.
12. We exchange thoughts dreams and music.
13 We want to meetup at weekend. I cant. Got a family wedding all
weekend.
14. We want to meetup the second week.
I cant. Im off on a company trip. Again new job here.
15. So we say in the week after I get back.
15a. Before the weekend we need to deliver an rc and go all out to hold
the deadline.
15b. We deliver, but shit happens on the customer side. His fault but we
get the blame.
15c I go onto the company trip.
16. We chat and i send her pictures of the trip over the weekend so she
sees I care.
17. She seems fine. And happy.
18. I come back from the trip late night and need to work the next day
jetlag style.
19. I work jetlag style. And try to fix the shit from last week.
20. I come home really tired and looking forward to date day tomorrow.
21. I cant do anything. My home looks like shit and the bag still
unpacked. I just eat and fall asleep.
I feel bad bcs my home will turn her down instantly if we make it to my
place.
Need to hope that it does not come to this.
22. Date day comes. Today.
23. I wake up at 6 early to plan ahead to make sure my clothes are fine
and i arrive on time in the office to exit early.
24. I expect to check what goes on today in the city and give her the
location to meet and time.
25. I enter office and immeadetly get caught up in meeting planning, dev
questions and the meeting itself because the project is on edge.
26. We have a 5hours long meeting where people go on and on and on.
27. 3h later in the meeting:
my brain was fried and around 12 i go to lunch with some people.
28. Meanwhile the city is turning into a rainy mess of a shitty day. No
way I can have a nice walk with her like that. Bars and coffeshops are
just to boring.
29. So i eat to regain some sense and we go back to the office.
Meanwhile I am thinking all kinds of locations and stuff in my head.
30. Havent given her any update since a good morning in the morning.
31. We reenter the meeting. Things continue like before. The project is
on impossible demands and impossible timelines. Still we try to do our
best.
32 3h later on 3pm I tell her i am in a long meeting and working on a
meetingspot.
33. shes not happy.
34. I get a call from a relative
35. i need to go out and take the call. not good for the collegues.
again new job here.
36. family trouble, money trouble, goverment demands. I promise to
handle that tomorrow. Before work.
37. i get back into the meeting.
38. still super slow and no results.
39. need to focus but start to check for locations on my phone.
40. she asks me where i am
41. I send her my location.
42. she thinks i am saying she should pick me up!
43 i joke and say no definitly not.
44. shes pissed.
45. I decide for a coffeeshop. after work. and send her the location
46. She says to call it off.
47. I go all in and go romance style. I say ill wait there even if she
does not come to show her how much i care.
U know to avoid the lets do it some other time fuckery and then it never
happens.
47. She goes quiet.
48. 2h later we finish the meeting. Meanwhile QA foudn a bug we need to
fix because why not.
49. I got 30 minutes to find the bug and fix it before I need to go to
uphold my word.
50. I find out what to do, but it might break a lot of other things
without careful test and implementation. Collegues says he takes it.
51 I feel bad but I need to go. I even leave earlier because otherwise I
would not be on time.
52. I arrive 15 minutes early. I grab two coffee2go and wait outside,
53. Shitty weather, sometimes rain, sometimes sunny, cant decide what it
wants.
54. The weather is just like how I feel.
55. I wait 1 1/2h
56. I think I should feel stupid, For gods sake its tinder. People dont
give a crap, Enough people around why should I Invest so much into this?
But I dont feel stupid. Because this is how I want it. I dont want
appointments, I dont want safety. I decided for her and I went all in.
57. I send her pics from the sceneray as proof that I waited,
58. I think I blew it. She is still quiet.
59. Friends are asking me for plans for the weekend. I wish I could say
I already have some with her.
60. I feel lost right now. But my head says I put too much stress on
her, And i fucked up with the planning. I should have been more precise.
My head also says that i am putting myself into the victim role, which
is wrong always. Should I continue to reach out to her? Is there
something I could do still?68 -
After a long time just reading your posts, here's my first post:
Just for clarification: I'm studying electrical engineering in Germany. During your time at university, you have to work half a year as a intern to get some practical experience. So I'm in a position where I mainly have to say "yes" to work that is given to me. Also I'm working with a lot of PLC programmers, so I'm nearly the only one who programs non-PLC stuff at the department.
But now it's time for my rant (and also my most satisfying optimization ever). In the job interview for the internship, my task at the company was described as C# programmer. I only programmed C and Python before, but C# looked interesting and so I learned C# from ground up in the summer before the internship. I quite liked it and I was really happy on my first day of work. Then I was greeted with this message: "I know you are hired as C# programmer, but could you please look into this VBA program, it takes 55 seconds until it finishes its task and that's to slow". So I (midly angry because I had to do VBA and not C#) started the program and it was really horribly slow (it just created a table with certain contents from a very big imported symbol file). I then opened up the source code and immideately saw bad code. The guy who wrote it basically just clicked on the macro recording button and used the recorded mouse clicks in the source code. The code was like: Click on cell A1 -> copy cell A1 -> move to sheet XY -> click on cell A2 -> paste copied stuff and so on... I never 'programmed' in VBA before, so I used my knowledge of 'real' programming languages to do this task. After using some arrays and for-loops, which did not iterate over all the 1.000.000 unused cells after the last used one, the program took only 3 seconds after it finished the new table! Everybody was quite impressed, which led to much more VBA optimization... That was clearly not my goal haha :)9 -
New Equipment 🤗🤗🤗♥️
I mean, thats a fucking UltraWide Display -- and it seems to be small beneath the tv 😂😂17 -
Black Friday fail.
Local online store totally failed last year on BF, so they spent the whole week on news, radio, print ads, newsletter raving about how they upgraded the systems for BF and are expecting double the traffic of last year and are super ready. 60 seconds into BF, site went totally tits up, was not till 01:45 that anyone could access it again, and according to uptimerobot, they were tits up for about 55% of the day.1 -
The manager and selfperceived omnipotent cult leader was the worst kind of businessman. Slimey and trecherous, zero sense of ethics, but felt holier than the pope because he "helped" his weakling herd of piteous employees.
These employees were smart kids, most of them in their late teens. All of them legally disabled. There was this kid who gobbled up ritalin like candy, a boy who had received his measles shots and turned socially awkward (/s), a chubby girl who could name all the hex colors of her chocolate stained shirt... you know, what we call skilled developers in the industry.
Fiftyfive of them.
They were awesome, awkward highschool dropouts, like I had been a decade earlier. They worked 50h a week. They had great humor, were passionate, devoured information about new technologies, and they built custom websites from scratch in no time. I had to lead this flock, and felt honored to work with them.
Then things started to smell funny.
I discovered all 55 of their workstations ran pirated software, from Windows to Adobe CS. I'm not without sin in that regard, but as a company it's just plain stupid.
Clients were treated like shit. I mean, we all feel like punching a client in the face sometimes, but I'm taking about unjustified debt collections paired with death threats.
Then I found out these kids were often disappearing for a few months, only to return months later.
I started digging, and discovered they were all working reintegration internships (because they were on below minimum wage disability payments), at almost zero cost to my employer.
After 6 months, my boss gave them a negative recommendation, they were all too "sick" to function in normal jobs.
Then they were rotated to a shadow company, doing the same work for another 6 months, and so on to a third company.
He broke these kids, talked them down, made them feel worthless. He threatened the ones who understood what was happening.
I ended up bringing the company down, with the CEO and two government officials jailed for fraud and corruption.
Some employees were quite mad about it, at least at first — I was the shepherd who abandoned his sheep. Luckily, most found better paid positions in no time.
Truly one of the most fucked up and difficult situations I've been in.6 -
Let's play a game!
The first person to figure out the password to this account before April 7th will get two sets of devRant stickers for free!
When you've got the password, log in to this account and @mention yourself to prove that you solved it!
Here are your clues:
7 4 12 e 8 18 5
7d 76 64 7a 42 5a 36 7d 3d 4b 36 7f 5b 40 3f 47 44 3d 6d 54 46 6a 61 4b 42 79 53 36 5e 75 5f 38 5c 4a 3d 60 42 55 6d 72 76 36 54 4a 2a12 -
For rating rants:
count the number of fucks/curses and find the rank of a given rant!
0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
51-55: WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENT
56-60: MID LIFE CRISIS
61-65:MASTURBATING WITH WORDS
66+ : MASTER GRAND WIZARD21 -
!rant && extra('worried');
My 11 years-old brother seems to be addicted to Minecraft, not the "dis iz so kool" addiction, but the "I put my health and education in danger to keep playing this game (homeworks badly done, grades free falling, showers without soap in 30s flat, food eaten in 15s, starts to yell at parents when they want him to stop playing (parents bitch slapped him a few times for this, but he seems to persist)).
My parents are over 55 now, so they don't really know how to handle this (can't / don't want to blame them), and I'm supposed shove some reason in his dead brain next weekend (I live 150km away).
I've been addicted myself to videogames in general and WoW in particular ((almost) no regrets) a few years back.. what should I say to him else than "This shit will ruin your life even before you started it" (which is planned anyway) ?26 -
( true && false ).toString() + "rant"
49 20 6A 75 73 74 20 6C 65 61 72 6E 65 64 20 74 6F 20 73 70 65 61 6B 20 69 6E 20 68 65 78 20 6C 61 6E 67 75 61 67 65 2E 20 55 54 46 2D 38 20 69 73 20 74 68 65 20 6D 6F 73 74 20 73 70 6F 6B 65 6E 20 64 69 61 6C 65 63 74 2E 20 57 68 69 63 68 20 64 69 61 6C 65 63 74 73 20 64 6F 20 79 6F 75 20 75 73 65 20 6D 6F 73 74 3F4 -
Today was a day at work that I felt like I made a significant contribution. It was not a lot of code. Actually it was a difference of 3 characters.
I am developing an industrial server so that my employer can provide access to their machines to enterprise industrial systems. You know, the big boys toys. Probably in fucking java...
Anyway, I am putting this server on an embedded system. So naturally you want to see how much serving a server can serve. In this case the device in more processor starved than memory starved. So I bumped up the speed of the serving from 1000mS to 100mS per sample. This caused the processor to jump from 8% of one core (as read from top) to 70%. Okay, 10x more sampling then 10x approx cpu usage. That is good. I know some basic metrics for a certain amount of data for a couple of different sampling rates.
Now, I realized this really was not that much activity for this processor. I mean, it didn't seem to me that it "took much" to see a large increase of processor usage. So I started wondering about another process on the system that was eating 60 to 70 % all the time. I know it updated a screen that showed some not often needed data from its display among controlling things. Most of the time it will be in a cabinet hidden from the world. I started looking at this code and figured out where the display code was being called.
This is where it gets interesting. I didn't write this code. Another really good programmer I work with wrote this. It also seemed to be pretty standard approach. It had a timer that fired an event every 50mS. This is 20 times per second. So 20 fps if you will. I thought, What would happen if I changed this to 250mS? So I did. It dropped the processor usage to 15%! WTF?! I showed another programmer: WTF?! I showed the guy who wrote it: WTF?! I asked what does it do? He said all it does it update the display. He said: Lets take to 1000mS! I was hesitant, but okay. It dropped to 5%!
What is funny is several people all said: This is running kinda hot. It really shouldn't be this hot.
Don't assume, if you have a hunch, play with it if its safe to do so. You might just shave off 55 to 60 % cpu usage on your system.
So the code I ended up changing: "50" to "1000".16 -
It's 17:55... Did much work that day since I came in earlier than usual, so I could leave in time and do some shopping with the girlfriend.
A colleague comes in to my room, a tad distressed. He had accidentally ran a fixture script on a production environment database (processing a shipload of records per minute), truncating all tables...
Using AWS RDS to rollback the transaction log takes up about 20m. I had to do that about 5 times to estimate the date and time of when the fixture script ran... Since there was no clear point in time...
Finally I get to the best state of the data I could get. I log in remotely run some queries. All is well again... With minor losses in data.
I try to download a dump using pg_dump and apparently my version is mismatched with the server. I add the latest version to aptitudes source list of postgres repo and I am ready to remove and purge the current postgres client and extensions...
sudo apt-get remove post*
Are you sure? (Y/n) *presses enter and enters into a world of pain*
Apparently a lot of system critical applications start with post... T_T4 -
09:54 I'll get out of bed soon
09:55 let's round it to 10
10:00 ok let's wait till 0 turns into 1
10:01 hmm that number doesn't look convincing to get out of bed
10:03 ok let's round it at 05 and then get up
10:05 that's not even a good number let's round to 10
10:10 actually i like 30 more this is the last one
10:30 honestly we're halfway there so let's round to 11 and then get out for real this time
10:47 fell asleep
12:18 woke up3 -
4:55: Everything looks good in prod.
4:56: Deploy new feature after all is well in Dev.
4:57: Prod goes to shit!
4:58: Call wife to tell her I'm not coming home at 5.
4:59: Prod looks fine w/o anyone doing anything.
5:00: Leave work.
5:25: Get yelled at by wife for leaving at 5 after telling her I couldn't.3 -
It's my first birthday!!!!
~$ uptime
11:06:55 up 365 days, 3:02, 86 users, load average: 1,20, 1,33, 1,22
Happy birthday to you, lappyyyyyyy......
Happy birthday toooooooo yyooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu11 -
I'm having a DAY.
it's like I'm trying to "2+2=4" and hitting "unknown operator =", figure that out, get "22" back, fix that, then math service is down, redeploy math service, wait 30 minutes, that's up, get "out of numbers" exception, turns out a dependency updated and now I have to register what "2" means, fix that, FINALLY get 2+2 to evaluate, I get 5. Figure that out, get 4! 4!!! FINALLY. Push it. Get 55 on the server. Gets 4 on my machine, getting some random 55 from the server.5 -
Sooooo I am not a fanboy. I do have my reservations when it comes to technology and whatever, but I live and let live and normally don't shit on stuff as long as it does not affect me or has any reasonable opportunity to affect others.
But my lead developer does, highly opinionated dude for a lot of shit (he ain't really my lead dev anymore in the sense of him being over me, i actually got promoted to a different department but have to continue working with him) and as such we sometimes go on some huuuuge rants regarding tech. With me, shit is simple man, you tell me you like something and I'll dig it, even if i don't necessarily dig it....i am pretty chill like that...ya dig?
Well the other day he was talking about how tvs like mine were too small for him, mine is a 55 inch, i don't think its small, it doesn't inconvenience me in any way really. But to his royal blindness shit is small.
I mentioned that I watch most of my shit lying down on my ipad pro, to were he starts talking massive amounts of shit about apple.
Now, as a previously hired and annoyed mobile developer, ios has a special place in my heart in which my only complaint about the platform was how xcode would fuck up from time to time. The languages were glorious(Obj C and swift) the cocoa apis were amazing(between ios and mac desktop....oooh la la) and the care that the apple store takes in not letting every other add infested garbage app to play a part in their store, the gloriousness of having your data secured as well as havinf applications compiled into the actual fucking operating system REALLY TOUCHES HOME WITH ME. ITS COOL IF IT AIN'T YOU, I AM TALKING ABOUT ME.
Oh. And ipads are smooth as fuck. This was something that I had to mention when he said that anything that I could do with my 1000+ dllr ipad could be done with his samsung table. Normally, I would be like "cool man" but diz doode insisted on making an android vs ios argument.
He insisted on me trying on his tablet. Boy it was the jankiest, laggiest shit I had laid hands on.......just like any other underpowered Android device. Don't get me wrong, my s9 works fucking amazing, but why in the name of heavens would you make an argument against a tablet whilst simultaneously using a piece of shit that doesn't even work properly? Are people really that delusional in their arguments that they would really be that wrong while still insisting on being right?12 -
Just me getting angry about the reaction after the Cambridge-scandal?
The news are spamming it every hour, and suddenly everyone is "well aware about my privacy" and deleting their Facebooks.
I mean, as if we didn't know this all along. O-fucking-course your data is stored and sold for adds, you accepted it when you wanted to "see which celebrity you are alike"!
I walk around and talk about privacy with people kinda a lot, and nobody seems to care. And then this happens, and people are going nuts. Waow, what a surprise!
Haha, have a nice evening DevRanters! ;) (20:55)@swe15 -
To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!
1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!
We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!
76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.
WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)4 -
It is 4:55.
I should sleep.
I've just created a GLSL shader on my phone which renders the Mandelbrot set in 4 bright flashing colors while zooming in.1 -
Copy and paste this in Notepad++, then select one an push F1:
BR,
Loreia
Notepad++
Martin Golding
L. Peter Deutsch
Seymour Cray
Brian Kernighan
Alan Kay
Bill Gates
Christopher Thompson
Vidiu Platon
Edward V Berard
pixadel
Oktal
Bjarne Stroustrup
Mosher's Law of Software Engineering
Bob Gray
Roberto Waltman
Gavin Russell Baker
Alanna
Linus Torvalds
Cult of vi
Church of Emacs
Steve Jobs
brotips #1001
brotips #1212
Robin Williams
Darth Vader
Doug Linder
Jean-Claude van Damme
Don Ho
Anonymous #1
Anonymous #2
Anonymous #3
Anonymous #4
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Apple fan boy
Motherf*cker
Hustle Man
Confucius
Mark Twain
Friedrich Nietzsche
Chewbacca1 -
Had a meeting with about 5 people, 4 of which showed up, 1 of which did not.
Guess which one was the subject matter expert without whom we spent 55 minutes positing what-if's that could've been easily answered if that individual was there?
Yup. Never rescheduled, and that was the end of that conversation. -
Fucking YouTube adverts on chromecast. Every time 55 seconds required to watch and THEN it starts another 55 optional seconds. I'm happy to have a remote so you can skip easy but they know you're sitting comfortable in front of your TV so they keep pushing ads. It's unethical. Torture, before I didn't mind so much, before the 55 seconds shit what was pretty rare before35
-
Coding faster is more important than code quality? GitHub shows a call to action: "Code 55% faster with GitHub Copilot". WTF?14
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Fuck the people who come to you at 4:55/5pm... Seriously, you've waited this long, whatever your issue/question is, it can fucking wait till morning. Go home!!2
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I never knew that I was a good mentor at SQL , specially at PL/SQL.
I gave a task to a new member of my team, to fill 5 tables with data from other 15 tables.
I informed him well about data table info and structure. He spended about 3 days to create 25 different queries in order to fill 5 tables.
After I saw the 25 queries, I told him, that he could do it with 1 main query and 5 insert statements.
So I spended 1 hour of training, in order to build,run and explain how to create the best sql statements for this task.
(First 5 minutes)
It was looking so simple at the beginning from starting with 1 simple join, after some steps he lost my actions.
(Rest 55 minutes)
I was explained the sql statements I 've created and how Oracle works.
Now , every time he meets me, he feels so thankful for learning him all those Oracle sql tips in 1 hour.
Now he is working only with big data and he loves the sql.1 -
Why do clients wait for 17:55 before asking you to fix that nuclear reaction bug or that new "little insignificant feature i can't live without" ? Seriously, what the hell is your daily job ? Because i really want to switch to it.3
-
And a big fuck you to sony mobile, I hope you die soon.
TLDR: sent a weeks old phone for repair to Sony, they asked 450€ because according to their "experts" chassis was bent and main board was busted besides the obvious screen and touch being broken.
It costed less than 400€ including vat.
Out of spite I ordered a replacement screen for 55€, and it's fucking working again, thanks a lot for the offer but I still can replace an lcd myself. Screw your warranty policies, you made a phone that slips like a wet soap.
I've owned xperias all my life, Arc, U, M, Z1 besides all the dumb phones manufactured by Sony/Ericsson.
Guess I'm finding a new brand very soon.4 -
12:55 AM, Subject gets and decides to look at crude oil chart.
1:05 AM, At it.
1:10 AM, Subject decides to check the temperature, using laptop screen in dark.
1:12 AM, Does a wild aerobic move to save flying laptop.
1:13 AM, Finds out that screen is gone.
1:23 AM, Orders new screen.
1:26 AM, Types this rant. -
It's funny how, in the official developer tools page, there is a gif that shows how summing 5 + 5 the result is 55. I think it's a kind of easter egg
Source: https://developers.google.com/web/...1 -
"If you're going to be living in the office, you can at least be on time for work"
This sums my mornings since i started working from home..
8:55 get out of bed
9:00 open laptop....and I'm at work :|1 -
In the 90s most people had touched grass, but few touched a computer.
In the 2090s most people will have touched a computer, but not grass.
But at least we'll have fully sentient dildos armed with laser guns to mildly stimulate our mandatory attached cyber-clits, or alternatively annihilate thought criminals.
In other news my prime generator has exhaustively been checked against, all primes from 5 to 1 million. I used miller-rabin with k=40 to confirm the results.
The set the generator creates is the join of the quasi-lucas carmichael numbers, the carmichael numbers, and the primes. So after I generated a number I just had to treat those numbers as 'pollutants' and filter them out, which was dead simple.
Whats left after filtering, is strictly the primes.
I also tested it randomly on 50-55 bit primes, and it always returned true, but that range hasn't been fully tested so far because it takes 9-12 seconds per number at that point.
I was expecting maybe a few failures by my generator. So what I did was I wrote a function, genMillerTest(), and all it does is take some number n, returns the next prime after it (using my functions nextPrime() and isPrime()), and then tests it against miller-rabin. If miller returns false, then I add the result to a list. And then I check *those* results by hand (because miller can occasionally return false positives, though I'm not familiar enough with the math to know how often).
Well, imagine my surprise when I had zero false positives.
Which means either my code is generating the same exact set as miller (under some very large value of n), or the chance of miller (at k=40 tests) returning a false positive is vanishingly small.
My next steps should be to parallelize the checking process, and set up my other desktop to run those tests continuously.
Concurrently I should work on figuring out why my slowest primality tests (theres six of them, though I think I can eliminate two) are so slow and if I can better estimate or derive a pattern that allows faster results by better initialization of the variables used by these tests.
I already wrote some cases to output which tests most frequently succeeded (if any of them pass, then the number isn't prime), and therefore could cut short the primality test of a number. I rewrote the function to put those tests in order from most likely to least likely.
I'm also thinking that there may be some clues for faster computation in other bases, or perhaps in binary, or inspecting the patterns of values in the natural logs of non-primes versus primes. Or even looking into the *execution* time of numbers that successfully pass as prime versus ones that don't. Theres a bevy of possible approaches.
The entire process for the first 1_000_000 numbers, ran 1621.28 seconds, or just shy of a tenth of a second per test but I'm sure thats biased toward the head of the list.
If theres any other approach or ideas I may be overlooking, I wouldn't know where to begin.16 -
The most powerful weapon an engineer can ever have, is his mind.
What happens when someone attacks the mind and their mind is the system with most power?
When you attack the central system with most power of any person, they become extremely vulnerable and defenseless.
What happens when the mental state of an engineer has been attacked and damaged?
How to focus with a damaged mind?
I paid $55 for a therapy app on the ios store with binaural waves sound programming and mind healing sounds.
It helps. But temporarily. When the attacker gets in sight, the mind becomes vulnerable again.
How to develop a strong mind that can not be disturbed by external real world triggers or attackers?9 -
Every few months I think about this and I lose my fucking britches.
So back in 8th grade, I thought I would have a really good time, good grades and shit... you know the drill.
Then comes the worst main teacher I have EVER had (will call her Jane Doe because I still have some respect...).
For some odd reason Jane REALLY hated me and one of my friends.
She asked irrational questions in exams, didn't write on the whiteboard, didn't write organized summaries of the learning material... basically a bitch.
I worked my ass off for 2 weeks working for a literature exam on the level of high-school finals (she did that, while straying further away from the actual fucking curriculum our ministry of education has created), and I got the worst grade I have ever had.
55.
Me and my friend both got a fucking 55/100 on an exam I have worked on for 2 weeks. 2 fucking weeks. No computer, no programming, just literature, while my other friend just completely guessed his answers and didn't REMOTELY elaborate and got a fucking 95/100 on his test. Because of Jane, I had the worst average grade I have ever gotten in my life on the second third of the year: 68.5/100. When the high schools in my area were opening for registration I had to come with this ugly ass average and my current school rejected me (at first). After I finished 8th grade, Jane took pity on me and I got a 74.8/100 on the final average. Still, 0.2 points from the minimum. So I got in to my current high school under special conditions.
Jane's excuse?
"It's training for high school".
Training for high-school my ass, in my high school they write on the fucking whiteboard and are more organized, damn it.2 -
Fun experience backing up my laptop drice to external hdd :
1 folder : 100 sub folders with 12000 files, size 6gb
>> Ctrl A-> ctrl C -> ctrl v
>> Copying time 55 mins , files remaining 12000
CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL!!
>> add to archive (5 mins) -> ctrl c, ctrl v
>> copying time 6 mins , files remaining 1
(*Insert hackerman meme here*)2 -
Webhost (that I basically only use for email) decided to get rid of all plans they had in favour of 1 big "unlimited" (with FUP ofc) plan...
I used to pay about 3,65 a year (incl. VAT) for my plan (which had about 1250MB of storage) which was totally fine...
Good enough storage for mails.
The new plan costs me 55 euro a year (incl. VAT) and has that "unlimited" storage...
Which I don't need for a fucking mail server...
And they don't allow me to go back to my old plan >.>
Literally the only reason why I went with them 7 years ago was because they were so cheap (back when they also still hosted my website) and perfectly fit my needs >.>
Way to shoot your longest time customers in the back.
Well, time to look for an alternative T_T2 -
TFW the mock class has way more code than the real one.
Testing big infrastructures can be a pain...
Or maybe my team is just not so good at it.
My time spent:
Adding new feature to the real class 15%
Extending the mock with the same feature 55%
Writing tests 30%7 -
Editors ask me to build a web application for students that consisted of 21 separate pages, 55 images, and 29 interactives. They want this in 1 month. I'm the only designer and developer.5
-
I fucking hate the modern tech stacks that are forcing to use their products and workflows. Fucking Microsoft. Used to be good but now it's shit.
I had to email the written homework. After finishing it, I attached it and sent it to my professor via email (Outlook on Web). I did not pay much attention.
5 hours later he replies to me saying that he cannot accept this form of submission. I was confused because he mentioned that he wanted it only as attachment via email.
Turns out, Outlook did not attach the PDF. Instead, uploaded it on OneDrive, and embedded a private link on the body. It was 11:55 PM, I was working for 10 hours straight with that assignment and didn't pay attention at all before sending. Fuck this. He was generous enough to accept the submission after the deadline.
I am glad that I went away from Windows 5 years ago. I don't want to touch any MS product anymore. Hopefully they do not fuck up GitHub and implement it with their other half-assed products.4 -
So we had a sprint review earlier. There were like 20 bosses who attended, head of this, head of that. We spent 5 mins to demo our application, and another 55 minutes discussing the "delivery date" 🤯2
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I downloaded Go to my Raspberry Pi with the wireless connection of my school and the download was running for 30 minutes (99mb file). (I had a download speed of 55 Kbit/s.) Then I saw I downloaded the wrong one which isn’t working with Raspbian. 😒
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On The State of Twitter And The World
(important update: everything is still shit and heres 10 reasons why)
Why does it seem like in order to get ahead in life everyone has to self promote now?
It's not enough to be on twitter. You have to like posts. It's not enough to like posts, you have to ask directly for endorsement. But don't ask too directly. And make sure you read this "55 reasons why I don't retweet you list", where I say "remember to stay relevant!"
and "you only ever tweet me when you have something to sell." and "remember to carry on conversations."
Great so we've went back from marketing to sales.
To read the rest, don't forget to visit my fucking link..
http://freetexthost.com/iqbdmh1tut7 -
This error, which took me a long time to find, demonstrates the importance of useful variable names.
Using the Wolfram Language:
pp = {};
For[i = 0, i <= Max[p], i++, If[Count[p, i] != 0, pp = Join[pp, {{i, Count[pp, i]}}], -1]];
pp
Outputs:
{{1, 0}, {2, 0}, {3, 0}, {4, 0}, {5, 0}, {6, 0}, {7, 0}, {8, 0}, {9, 0}, {10, 0}, {11, 0}, {12, 0}, {13, 0}, {14, 0}, {15, 0}, {16, 0}, {17, 0}, {18, 0}, {19, 0}, {20, 0}, {21, 0}, {22, 0}, {23, 0}, {24, 0}, {25, 0}, {26, 0}, {27, 0}, {28, 0}, {29, 0}, {30, 0}, {31, 0}, {32, 0}, {33, 0}, {34, 0}, {35, 0}, {36, 0}, {37, 0}, {38, 0}, {39, 0}, {40, 0}, {41, 0}, {42, 0}, {43, 0}, {44, 0}, {45, 0}, {46, 0}, {47, 0}, {48, 0}, {49, 0}, {50, 0}, {51, 0}, {52, 0}, {53, 0}, {54, 0}, {55, 0}, {56, 0}, {57, 0}, {58, 0}, {59, 0}, {60, 0}, {61, 0}, {62, 0}, {63, 0}, {64, 0}, {65, 0}, {66, 0}, {67, 0}, {68, 0}, {69, 0}, {70, 0}, {71, 0}, {72, 0}, {73, 0}, {74, 0}, {75, 0}, {76, 0}, {77, 0}, {78, 0}, {79, 0}, {80, 0}, {81, 0}, {82, 0}, {83, 0}, {84, 0}, {85, 0}, {86, 0}, {87, 0}, {88, 0}, {89, 0}, {90, 0}, {91, 0}, {92, 0}, {93, 0}, {94, 0}, {95, 0}, {96, 0}, {97, 0}, {98, 0}, {99, 0}, {100, 0}, {101, 0}, {103, 0}, {104, 0}, {105, 0}, {106, 0}, {107, 0}, {108, 0}, {111, 0}, {112, 0}, {116, 0}, {118, 0}, {122, 0}, {125, 0}, {136, 0}, {137, 0}}
As opposed to the expected output, which should have no 0s as the second values in any of the tuples.
I spent a large amount of time examining the code to generate p before realizing that the bug was in this line.3 -
I need to finish a project where the boss is a nice woman (maybe 55 years old), and her assistant (30-35 years old). Guess who is always asking about any single button? Who is always saying "But that label is ugly", "I don't understand that", "Maybe we need some new features..." Yeah, the assistant. She hates us and we hate her1
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A Joke/Meme/Story. Sit down and enjoy
In my job we develop WebApps for any company that uses accounting stuff (like you must be wondering, all types of companies).
Some web developers may understand the problem with Internet Explorer and Bootstrap and some libraries 😂 and yes, we had a situaion where we had to put a message at the login to say that you must use Chrome or Firefox in order to use our system properly instead of Internet Explorer (unfortunately, too many factories in my city only use Internet Explorer)
The last week I had too much deadtime and I found this video (watch it from minute 0:55)
https://youtu.be/dfuMvkaDNfg
I laughed so hard 😂 it represents our situation with those Internet Explorer lovers 😂👊🏻
P.D. The video is in spanish, but don‘t worry. If you don‘t speak spanish, in few words, this video is about two roomies (alternative Bert and Ernie) and Bert is mad because Ernie installed Internet Explorer on Bert‘s laptop, so he ask him to uninstall it. Ernie uninstalled it, but he also erased disk C 😂joke/meme internet explorer compatibility bootstrap bert and ernie internet explorer sucks web development sesame street6 -
If you need to debug an issue issue in Safari on the latest iOS, look no further than Chrome / Chromium 55.
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7:45 am
get broken by alarm #1, fall asleep
7:50 am
get broken by alarm #2, fall asleep
7:55 am
get broken by alarm #3, fall asleep
8:00 am
get broken by alarm #4, fall asleep
8:10 am
get broken by alarm #5, fall asleep
8:20 am
get broken by alarm #6, fall asleep
8:30 am
get broken by alarm #7, get up
8:35 am
Prepare for work
8:40 am
Go to office job
9:00 am
Slave for $8.125 an hour matrix job
5:10 pm
Come back home, hungry, exhausted
5:50 pm
Finished eating, take a break
6:10 pm
Finished taking a break, time to start working on my side project
8:00 pm
Feeling exhaustion and stunned, as if i got hit by a flashbang grenade
9:00 pm
Exhaustion exponentially increased. Yawning. Eyes barely open. Extreme tiredness. Head movement started producing motion blur. Body just wants to shut down and sleep
10:00 pm
Start losing concentration while coding my side project. Start making stupid beginner bugs that i fail to debug
11:00pm
By this time i am barely functional so i have to go to bed. Sleep and repeat all of this bullshit every day
---
Is....this...the life thats awaiting me for the rest of my life if i dont earn millions asap? If so then i dont want it. I reject this type of life like satan rejects cross. I do not want to be a part of this clownery.
REALISTICALLY getting 2 hours per day of optimized time and energy to work on my project, is not enough. Even 8 hours a day is not enough. I need full time work on my project. Thats how valuable it is.
This job is draining me. I feel like i signed a contract with the devil to drain my soul. Fuck. Seems like all contracts we sign is the same shit as selling our soul for money? WTF think about this bullshit! Celebrities seem to be the smartest then. They sign contracts to perform satan rituals in exchange for MILLIONS of dollars while we sign a contract to work for satan and get paid $8.125 an hour like fucking losers.
I cant believe nobody warned me about this satanic society since i was a little kid13 -
LORD AM I PRON TO THESE KIND OF PEOPLE AS A DEV!!!?
[09:21, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Bro
[10:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Wasap
[10:25, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Im good fam hwu
[10:37, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Um good bro how is it?
[10:43, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: All good.. i need help fam... i want to creat application form but dnt knw how to fo th out look appearance
[10:48, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Ummm haven't used out look
[10:51, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Nooo I mean appearance of the app. .. not outlook windows no
[10:55, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 🤔
Wat you up to
Want to create a form using outlook or you want to create an application? ??
[GUY SENDS VOICE NOTE]
[11:21, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Is it web app or desktop app
[11:22, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: I thnk its wise to hv it a web app
[11:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: Ok so is this a thing chitone market or?
[11:24, 22/04/2020] Softaz: And outline all it's functionality
[11:25, 22/04/2020] Softaz: And the price😋🤑
[11:26, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Na. Its just fr records n logs ... for reference
[11:26, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: 👀U want to thug me now
[11:27, 22/04/2020] +263 78 454 5470: Nigaaa👀wait
[11:42, 22/04/2020] Softaz: 😂 its yo idea
I can't make something I have no idear what information it should take in
What format to generate soft copy
Etc5 -
So after having a rather shit day at work I notice that my phone (samsung s7 edge) is at 50% and indecide to fast charge it...then i notice it "Fast charging, 55 minutes till ready" great....fucking....great. please don't tell me that the battery is fuckd up...i really do not need this
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Computer games is always been a on a great demand. As demand increases, production also increases. Gaming industry has been on a rise since the 19th century. The first computer game "Space Wars" in 1962 gained a large success. Since then, the evolution in the gaming industry is thrilling. Currently, we have access to many immersive games. With the introduction of AR and VR, the gaming industry is going to take a great burst in business. Don't you believe after decade the games would be so advanced that it would be so much life like. According to the predictions, after a hundred years, games would be vastly different from what we play today, realistic feature would be a sidekick for them. A time will come when the games would reach a singularity where the characters would have consciousness. Isn't that like our real world, as if we are the characters in a advanced game of some advanced beings. What if it is true? Scientists are doing a intensive research on this field to find a clue, whether we are in a game or not. This is the so called "Simulation Theory". Some clues in relation to this would be worth noting. The flower are following a series to have their petals. To be precise Fibonacci series is the base to the no of petals in a flower. (Fibonacci Series: 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55.....) Flowers would either have 3 or 5 or 8 petals, but no flower is having a number of petal which is not following this series. Isn't it interesting, there is no brain in flower, even then how could a flower decide, how many petals it will contain? Sometimes, it feels like there is some kind of computer code is responsible for this. We will discuss about it furthur.16
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I've got a question about PHP arrays as I try to update my coding skills.
The problem I'm trying to solve is converting one vendor's CSV format to another vendor's format for a daily processing job.
I have a multi-row CSV file (number of rows changes daily but fields (15) do not). My PHP converts it to an array with fgetcsv so I can then copy its rows and data to a different blank target array with the same number of rows as the source array, but a different field order and number of fields (55) than the source array.
From here I will apply certain conditional business rules to copy data, field-by-field, from the source array fields to the target array fields, then output the target array to a CSV.
I'm stuck trying to figure out how to create (initialize) that target array so that it exists when I loop through the source array and copy values over to the target array.
Can anyone nudge me in the right direction on how to dynamically (loop?) create that multi-dimensional target array of n rows and 55 columns? I looked at http://w3schools.com/php/... for guidance but can't figure out how to structure the loop to make just one array of n rows and 55 columns, and not "n" arrays of n rows and 55 columns.5 -
I just finished working on an obfuscator
Its like voldomort horcruxes with Chinese and Japanese chars every object and every everything 😂 for android and just looked at the time and hoooooooooly shiot ita 5:55 am 😂
The result is just great . Finally i can sleep 😂🤣 -
how is a chatting app like whatsapp, with 55 billion messages sent per day, earning money without using ads?8
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Doing some group assignments for uni
Repo 1, 60, 7, 2 commits
Repo 2, 200, 12, 1 commits
Repo 3, 55, 10 commits
You can guess which stats are mine.......
And then on the reports I have to do all the work cause I wrote all the FUCKING code ... FUCK8 -
Week : 55 ( Year 1 )
How is your weekend going?
Which animal would you want to be in your next life, if you believe in reincarnation, other than a human?
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/1114324610 -
Another gem from my Database Fundamentals class, this time it's from the textbook:
So right now we're learning about data modeling with ERDs and the book is explaining a few things about attributes. I got to a part where the book was explaining when you should split an attribute into many (the book mixes up conceptual modelling and logical modelling). The first example the book gave was an address, splitting it up by street name, address number, city, postal code, etc. So far so good. Now we get to the second example: a phone number. The book split the the number 55 11 9784-8900 into four parts:
Country code: 55
Area code: 11
Number prefix: 9784
Number suffix: 8900
At this point I was like "WHAT?". Separating area and country codes from the rest of the number is ok, that's useful, but splitting the number itself in half? Why the fuck would you want to do that? Correct me if I'm wrong but the dash in the middle of the number is just used for "chunking", to make it easier for our brains to read the number. Why would you want to split the number in half? There's literally no reason to do it, at least not in the example the book was showing.
Every time I open this book I keep wondering why the hell my teacher chose it to be our textbook. He's a great teacher, his lectures are awesome, he explains stuff super well, but he chose this book. A book that's filled with shitty literal translations to domain-specific words and acronyms, shitty examples, and convoluted sentences.6 -
Fucking hate to explain basic shit to computer illiterate. Usually I don't mind, but right know I working on the project, want to automate one thing I need to do every morning, put two numbers to web page(I will explain details maybe in next rant). So I am only one who fix, buys computers, printer(for some problems I call for other repair man.). Generally speaking working as IT guy. Firm has like 50 computers, some of them has SCADA software. Some computers have Win 7, some win 8 and others win 10, can't upgrade those computers, not enough money(I can deal with this problem). And yes, computer buying is not the fastest, easiest thing too. Because is public firm, I need to do public buying(I don't know how to translate to english), and most of the time wins the lowest price, I am ok with that. But I can't on item specification write I want that model pc or it components. Example: I can't write I want intel processor, however I can write number of cores, frequency. But it's not that bad, usually i have template for all things I buy. One of the worst thing is this, our firm bought new bookkeeping software version, old version was using visual foxpro framework. Good thing I didn't initiate the purchase, because right know I would be jobless, not because I would be fired, but because our senior accountant would drive me crazy. In fact accountants drive me crazy, but I can handle it for now. As I wrote before our form has about 120 workers, major part of workers are old, like my parents age. (I am 28 btw. Mom is 55.). As you all know what happens if you say you work with computers. So our accountants are like 60 years old, got new program, don't know how to work with it, and they ask me how to do certain things. if I don't know how to I ask program's support, every question is like 90 Eur. So in short accountants expect I should know their work and how program works. If I try say something they don't like, they try to make my day hard. Next thing is our billing program. Man that worked before me done some payments import. And when I came everyone expect me to do that. Ok I did that because that people working with billing program would probably fuck it up. And I semi automated that, so I don't mind that much. Sometimes that program fucks up, like it happened yesterday, it send email invoices attachment without filename. Example: people got this attachment ".pdf"(no filename, only extension), And if you save it you need do OPEN WITH command and then select pdf reader or rename file (I don't know what easier). And surprise surprise our firm, customer support redirects all phone calls, emails to me. But I did explain to customer support what to say to people. Still they redirect it to me.
PS: This is my first job after school. I work as part time.
TL;DR Thinking my life, carrier choices. accountants are not the nicest people.8 -
Is huwaei insane for saying that 1 line of their harmonyos code can do 100 lines of android code. I watched this in a coldfusion video. Link :- https://youtube.com/watch/... , The line I mentioned is at 11:554
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LIRR system rant 1- it's 5pm and train time app and station alert board says 4:55 is on time because they consider <6 minutes late 'on time' haha. How 'bout on time = on time! Hey devRant team - I would like to link to a picture of the alert board. Thanks
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So I tried to buy some recreational stuff from the deep web, and this is what they have replied—
“We're really sorry about it but we have some problems with shipping to your region. We noticed about problems with customs but we have some friends in your region that will help us to pay $55 customs for your parcel and pass it smoothly. If you agree to continue we can get your additional $55 usd payment to the bitcoin address below.”
Is this a scam?4 -
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I love how we spend 5 minutes to go about work, and use the remaining 55 minutes to chitchat at daily meetings.2