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My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.27
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At a party.
A: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a dev-
A: So you can like... hack things? Can you hack my insta?
ಠ_ಥ14 -
My workstation is suddenly attacked and conquered by the legendry meow and am not allowed to touch it anymore
9 -
Ah, C++. Where the compiler optimisation is fucking you so hard that you don't need a girlfriend anymore 😒10
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Our lecturer writes "extends Object" behind every class in Java. I don t want to live on this planet anymore3
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Project manager, a few months ago: "why did you do this task? It's all wrong. It's a backend task, not a frontend task so you shouldn't have done it. Don't do it again."
PM, today, regarding the same task in a different project: "why didn't you do this task? The project isn't complete without it. It isn't right. You should have done it."
Are you fucking serious? If we do it it's wrong, if we don't do it it's wrong too. So why should I bother? Seriously, fuck you you piece of shit.2 -
We had a priority 1 incident (= the complete basis of our business is at risk, nobody can work anymore). The reason: at least 50 fax machines didn't work anymore ...
You're laughing? Well, in the department next to us, they still use dot matrix printers.8 -
And it is official: I am not a project manager anymore.
My Boss has just created a new Automation department of which I am the only employee. So, now, I am an Automation Engineer.
More tools, maybe code and almost no contact with clients anymore. But I am gong to miss a few of them. :)2 -
Tutanota (encrypted mail service) is releasing a new android app soon which won’t be using GCM anymore so that the app won’t be the reason a phone connects to anything google anymore and it’ll be on F-Droid soon!
Fuck yeah, Turanota, I fucking love you ❤️11 -
SO FUCKING MUCH COFFEE!!!! FUUUUUCK!!
I'M LITERALLY BURSTING OF ENERGY!!!
I CAN'T EVEN CONCENTRATE ON MY WORK ANYMORE!!14 -
*Deletes system32*
Omg why it's not working anymore? Holy shit windows suck. I didn't even do anything and it stopped working. Fucking useless OS.
sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
Oh it's understandable it's not working anymore, I fucked it up myself.13 -
I wish the internet would drop support for emoji. Its fucking impossible to tell what anyone means anymore.26
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Seems like they didn't properly handle the case for when the product isn't in their database anymore.
4 -
Finally got some free time cook for myself a lunch...
Don't have worry about the company project anymore.
😋
17 -
My therapist tells me I’m not allowed to talk about problems I’ve had with designers anymore. *pops a valium*
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Windows is probably good now...
And Real Player probably isn't buffering anymore either.
Still don't want to try either.12 -
I am so BORED!
Like, seriously.... so so bored... work isn’t fun anymore... I don’t do any fun coding anymore...
Meh 😔10 -
Fuck, I am really exhausted.
I am really burnt-out, I can't do this shit anymore.
Fuck this shit, here is my letter of resignation.
It is already signed, I won't do this shit anymore.
I will be jobless, but fuck this, I won't spend any more minute here.
*drop microphone*
The party is over.4 -
I recently deleted a bunch of bookmarks from between 2002 and 2014. None of the websites even worked anymore.
5 -
!Dev
I found this on Quora... it keeps me awake as I struggle to find the fourth person. Yes I can see 3 persons and four bottles.
4 -
1M€/year web agency, the ceo doesn't buy coffee for employers anymore (14 people) because "it costs too much". :/4
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I don't have this anymore and they don't make em anymore, but I used to have this on my desktop PC at uni and it was awesome!
8 -
So I'm feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday. This shit's finally starting to give me some peace.
In the middle of my (first) morning cup of coffee, feeling pretty good about life for once. So I figured..why not do a face reveal?
This picture was like 5 months ago, but the only difference in how I look now is my hair being a bit longer
13 -
Websites install to my phone and behave just like native apps (Progressive Web Apps) and native apps don't need installing anymore and behave just like websites. (Instant Apps)
The lines are blurring. I don't know what to believe anymore.1 -
When you found yourself trying to scroll your wireframe because you can't tell what's reality anymore.
1 -
Router: Doctor, I can't take it anymore.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Router: It hurts when IP. -
That moment when your boyfriend gets into coding and he's like her girlfriend don't exist anymore.2
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When I see everyone is busy in MS Teams(in meeting) and I am not invited to irrelevant meetings anymore.
5 -
Too everyone who said Europe is DOOMED too due too the recent Lisa of Net Neutrallity,
GO SUCK A BIG FUCKING DICK! AND AFTER THAT GET A ROPE AND FUCKING KILL YOURSELF! AMERICANS FUCKED UP!
AND YOU ALSO CAN GET A COCKFUCKED VPN IF YOUR NOT STUPID ENOUGH!
9 -
Current lappy got about 4GB RAM and not enough cores. I can't even run krita without it slowing down more the more I work on a file.
It would be frustrating if only I wasn't so depressed.
So yeah, due to being broke and lack of nerves, I'm gonna completely stop working on the comic for now.22 -
Pulled this from a web site's privacy policy. Remember, just because there's a switch doesn't mean anyone has to abide to that rule.
Browser “Do Not Track” Signals: Most browsers contain a “do-not-track” setting. In general, when a “do-not-track” setting is active, the user’s browser notifies other websites that the user does not want their personal information and online behavior to be tracked and used, for example, for behavioral advertising. As required by recent Shine the Light law amendments we are required to inform you that, as is the case with most websites, we do not honor or alter our behavior when a user to one of our Websites has activated the “do-not-track” setting on his/her browser.5 -
Wait what? Nude.js is already a thing?
Yeah great, I'm not allowed to be a creative perv anymore.
Just great.2 -
Today my client emailed me and said : "Isn't google and microsoft the same program". What is life anymore?2
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My co-worker, still studying but working as a "senior dev", just decided that we don't need a test/staging environment anymore. We just "validate" (we also don't use the word "test" anymore) newly created features in production.
Makes absolutely sense...
Thank god I have a new job from february on!1 -
!rant
> Spends a week on a feature
> "Oh we won't need it anymore"
EXCUSE ME BUT WHY!? WE HAVE A FUCKING ROADMAP YOU COULD'VE TOLD THERE WE WON'T NEED IT ANYMORE WHY FUCKING WHY YOU WANKSTAIN >:(
6 -
Have to finish this code today but only slept four hours last night, coffee isn't working anymore, making the most stupid mistakes and constantly dreaming away while looking at my screen because I can't focus anymore. Also, it's around 25 degrees here and the vents aren't working that great... fml.1
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NullDeveloperException : When the coffee pot is empty and developer is not set to an instance of an object anymore.
Productivity.dispose();3 -
Oh no, someone hacked my PayPal account, and it seems... PayPal’s too, they can’t spell properly anymore 😰
11 -
The horrendous prices on decent graphics cards now.. people that want gaming cards for gaming can't afford them anymore 😣8
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It's 2:49AM
my fucking brain starts working in high performance mode right now and sleeps not exist anymore :/1 -
It was fun to stay home last week, this week the isolation is starting to get to me. Plus I'm PMSing. Somebody should come and hug me... 😢
Been getting really cold chills lately, so I'm not even sure if I got the damn virus.
You guys, please make a vaccine soon. I need to get out and socialize or I'll go insane. 😖7 -
just got a linkedin msg
"Hello, im from a headhunter company, looking for..."
THEY ARENT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE2 -
Since I submitted my resignation my motivation has increased significantly, because I know that any of this shit I will produce until then won't be bugging me later :D
I just feel sorry for my close dev colleges.... :/ -
Follow-up on yesterday's rant.
Boss hired dev-ops team to restore data from the broken server image. They said it may be completely impossible. Which will probably make clients want to kill us considering it's an government agency.
I wonder how large the contractual penalties will be considering they are almost completely incapable of working without the system and it's going to be few days until anything will be fixed.
Oh well, since no one bothers me it seems it's currently not my problem and I'm free to code ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
I'm reading /r/talesfromtechsupport every day to remind me why I don't work directly with customers anymore.
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when you wake up at 5h50 am on a sunday and you can't sleep anymore because you're thinking about code:
1 -
My dumbass removes a setter and then starts wondering why the API isn't accepting any query parameters anymore1
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So Amazon recruiter followed up today... So I just replied,
Thanks but not interested anymore, easier being a shareholder2 -
One of my coworkers calls Firefox "Google". Oddly enough she also uses Chrome but calls it "Chrome". I get confused every time she asks me to help her with her computer.1
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!rant, throw everything away
When you spend 9 hour at work, 2 hours in that fucking exploded bus, tries to spend time with friends and family, spend enough time with that one special person, try to sleep descently and manage to work on your personal projects during that two hours in the bus, and that each day, each week, the whole year.
You need a lot of motivation!
But when today I loose two months of work because of a hardware problem and that (because I don't have internet in the bus) I didn't backup on GitHub , I just have lost all motivation and will!
I just can't anymore!
FML5 -
looks up JavaScript question, gets jQuery answer
Are you kidding me? Does anyone even do plain JS anymore?? D:1 -
Too many broken promises then I don't care anymore.
Javascript has ruined humanity. Catch me on my way out. -
Back from long weekend... Already want another...
Perhaps I've finally realized the team cannot be saved, work isn't fun anymore, it sucks being the linchpin, and I'm just not having fun anymore...
And for one I think I've even take a pay cut to get onto a new but better managed and 100% senior team -
lose all interest in gaming, doesn't feel immersive enough anymore as you start realizing it's just a program under execution3
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When I say Unsubscribe, I mean Unsubscribe you stupid annoying spammer, I don't care anymore about your shit
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Dear Apple, your asshole is what's innovative because all you produce anymore is expensive excrement.1
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LLVM. Fun as fuck. Especially when all the C++ API examples from online don't even compile anymore.4
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So I've noticed there's a lot of php hatred here on devRant xD Does anybody know of any modern php communities or forums to join? I've searched for a few but a lot are outdated.22
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It's really funny to me that bitcoin can't be used for transactions anymore because it's way too volatile2
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I just realized that I don’t write ‘home’ anymore.. it’s always /home or $HOME
Even on google maps!1 -
I got so used to vim like bindings on spacemacs, i3wm, firefox(with vimium) in such a way that I was pressing j and k on Microsoft Word like a moron and wondering why that shit isn't scrolling up or down.
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Android stu. make you feel you're not up to date anymore with all the frequent download component.
4 -
Lemon tea used to work before but not anymore, coffee has taken over accompanied by chocolates and nuts
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Monday: service deploy.
Friday evening: compilation and jar execution doesn't work anymore, on local machines or on server.
Nice.3 -
how do you actually get a paying job in development, nobody seems to be hiring backend developers anymore...14
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I don‘t get notifications about @Mentions anymore.
Noticed a few days ago and today in the iOS app.9 -
Finally convince my colleague to try sublime text. His coming from notepad++ and netbeans.
First thing he do, figure out how to change the theme to white background. -.- not so cool anymore.2 -
Can't stand more unproductive teams/zoom meetings anymore!!!
Fck this pandemic crap, let me code in peace!!!3 -
I just can't sit at a computer anymore without opening my terminal anymore. Is it wrong I kinda want to go back to when that's all we had?2
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I've read the docs but my tired brain overrided an important detail.
https://haproxy.com/documentation/...
"By default, HAProxy Enterprise will serve these pages only if it initiated the error itself. For example, it will return the page for a 503 Service Unavailable error if it can't reach any backend servers."
I had _the_ return part for interception of the error page from the backend added, not the default override for the error page of HAPRoxy itself.
Took me 4 hours, crying, madness and screaming to realize it.
This week is really wringing the last bits of the gooey slime what should be my brain out...
-.-
Another fun part is that I mistakenly thought the delimiter for multiple strings to an ACL comparison is a comma... It's a whitespace.
acl is_evil hdr(host) -i one,two is wrong.
acl is_evil hdr(host) -i one two is right.
I used to write HAPRoxy configurations blindly, today it was more like writing two lines of codes 100000000 times and still doing it wrong TM.
I need new brain.
Anyone got an offer?3 -
Worst part about being a developer?
Coding the apex-maximum-feelsgood-climax of your code, feeling like a genius and then your mom calls you to dinner and you feel like you've lost trillions of geniusly made ideas that could save the world from aids while eating your pasta.. yeah, that's the worst part. -
Anyone here who had used powerbi embedded with nodejs backend? Please I need help. Can't take this shit anymore
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I have these gulp tasks to preprocess my css and html. months ago it was all polished and working great.
I run the commands today, npm complains about deprecated something and doesn't let me run... I do updates, I try to run again: "Right now osX is not supported".
I literally did not change anything all these months.
Fuck you npm.3 -
Is it even possible to buy music anymore? This "Music" / iTunes store... is a total fucking mystery now.14
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Few of the developers I have met while coding hit buttons too hard.
Well I don't appreciate keyboard anymore. -
Everybody speaks about this "compatibility matrix" but nobody can produce an accurate copy anymore.1
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My team leader said to implement some dynamic tables so in the future we dont need to program anymore.1
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Anyone else unable to download the devrant app? iOS Germany btw, it's not in the app store anymore13
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help! I can't do it with editors other than nvim. I have been spoiled.
Normal editors don't cut it anymore.1 -
I hardly run into weird bugs at work anymore, im scared that i might stopped progressing as a programmer.1
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>tfw when the code examples can't be downloaded anymore and no one made a full archive of the downloads
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I don't want to use Google for everything anymore. Do any of you know of good alternatives to GMail?5
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