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Hi, I am a Javascript apprentice. Can you help me with my project?
- Sure! What do you need?
Oh, it’s very simple, I just want to make a static webpage that shows a clock with the real time.
- Wait, why static? Why not dynamic?
I don’t know, I guess it’ll be easier.
- Well, maybe, but that’s boring, and if that’s boring you are not going to put in time, and if you’re not going to put in time, it’s going to be harder; so it’s better to start with something harder in order to make it easier.
You know that doesn’t make sense right?
- When you learn Javascript you’ll get it.
Okay, so I want to parse this date first to make the clock be universal for all the regions.
- You’re not going to do that by yourself right? You know what they say, don’t repeat yourself!
But it’s just two lines.
- Don’t reinvent the wheel!
Literally, Javascript has a built in library for t...
- One component per file!
I’m lost.
- It happens, and you’ll get lost managing your files as well. You should use Webpack or Browserify for managing your modules.
Doesn’t Javascript include that already?
- Yes, but some people still have previous versions of ECMAScript, so it wouldn’t be compatible.
What’s ECMAScript?
- Javascript
Why is it called ECMAScript then?
- It’s called both ways. Anyways, after you install Webpack to manage your modules, you still need a module and dependency manager, such as bower, or node package manager or yarn.
What does that have to do with my page?
- So you can install AngularJS.
What’s AngularJS?
- A Javascript framework that allows you to do complex stuff easily, such as two way data binding!
Oh, that’s great, so if I modify one sentence on a part of the page, it will automatically refresh the other part of the page which is related to the first one and viceversa?
- Exactly! Except two way data binding is not recommended, since you don’t want child components to edit the parent components of your app.
Then why make two way data binding in the first place?
- It’s backed up by Google. You just don’t get it do you?
I have installed AngularJS now, but it seems I have to redefine something called a... directive?
- AngularJS is old now, you should start using Angular, aka Angular 2.
But it’s the same name... wtf! Only 3 minutes have passed since we started talking, how are they in Angular 2 already?
- You mean 3.
2.
- 3.
4?
- 5.
6?
- Exactly.
Okay, I now know Angular 6.0, and use a component based architecture using only a one way data binding, I have read and started using the Design Patterns already described to solve my problem without reinventing the wheel using libraries such as lodash and D3 for a world map visualization of my clock as well as moment to parse the dates correctly. I also used ECMAScript 6 with Babel to secure backwards compatibility.
- That’s good.
Really?
- Yes, except you didn’t concatenate your html into templates that can be under a super Javascript file which can, then, be concatenated along all your Javascript files and finally be minimized in order to reduce latency. And automate all that process using Gulp while testing every single unit of your code using Jasmine or protractor or just the Angular built in unit tester.
I did.
- But did you use TypeScript?36 -
You're a bit too junior we need someone with a bit more experience.
Job was listed as junior/apprentice dev.9 -
Testivus On Test Coverage
Early one morning, a programmer asked the great master:
“I am ready to write some unit tests. What code coverage should I aim for?”
The great master replied:
“Don’t worry about coverage, just write some good tests.”
The programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
Later that day, a second programmer asked the same question.
The great master pointed at a pot of boiling water and said:
“How many grains of rice should I put in that pot?”
The programmer, looking puzzled, replied:
“How can I possibly tell you? It depends on how many people you need to feed, how hungry they are, what other food you are serving, how much rice you have available, and so on.”
“Exactly,” said the great master.
The second programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
Toward the end of the day, a third programmer came and asked the same question about code coverage.
“Eighty percent and no less!” Replied the master in a stern voice, pounding his fist on the table.
The third programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
After this last reply, a young apprentice approached the great master:
“Great master, today I overheard you answer the same question about code coverage with three different answers. Why?”
The great master stood up from his chair:
“Come get some fresh tea with me and let’s talk about it.”
After they filled their cups with smoking hot green tea, the great master began to answer:
“The first programmer is new and just getting started with testing. Right now he has a lot of code and no tests. He has a long way to go; focusing on code coverage at this time would be depressing and quite useless. He’s better off just getting used to writing and running some tests. He can worry about coverage later.”
“The second programmer, on the other hand, is quite experience both at programming and testing. When I replied by asking her how many grains of rice I should put in a pot, I helped her realize that the amount of testing necessary depends on a number of factors, and she knows those factors better than I do – it’s her code after all. There is no single, simple, answer, and she’s smart enough to handle the truth and work with that.”
“I see,” said the young apprentice, “but if there is no single simple answer, then why did you answer the third programmer ‘Eighty percent and no less’?”
The great master laughed so hard and loud that his belly, evidence that he drank more than just green tea, flopped up and down.
“The third programmer wants only simple answers – even when there are no simple answers … and then does not follow them anyway.”
The young apprentice and the grizzled great master finished drinking their tea in contemplative silence.
Found on stack overflow https://stackoverflow.com/questions...8 -
A customer did send a 3GB+ .txt file to the database guy in my office. He (senior dev) starts ranting about how he should handle this since his tools failed to do whatever he had to with this data.
After seeing him struggle some time I did a short search (I'm apprentice since 4 months) and then told him to use "split -l".9 -
My company needs a new Website.
ME: Boss, let me do it. It's just a simple static site with a few pages. **Dreaming about a fast and beautiful site**
BOSS: Your time is too valuable. Nobody is paying us for our website. The apprentice will do it.
Few weeks later... Wordpress page! Page loads in > 20sec. Over 150 request for css and js... It's fast on Mobile, because it just breaks and loads only half of the content.
So ashamed working in this Company. No sane customer will ever do business with us, when he sees this stackpile of shit.6 -
Boss: Hey squares, I need one of you to select a new volume control, if you spot anything let me know.
Me: Say no more
2 -
Sending one big PDF with character analysises of everyone in the company to all of us, from apprentice to founder. He had even brought cake, but the boss threw it out the window and made the guy leave the moment he read that mail 😂3
-
Does anyone remember MUDs? Multi-User Dungeons — working on those in LPC was my first experience with real programming. Before that, I'd only made simple websites.
To get permission to program in one MUD, you had to prove that you knew the world, by reaching a certain level in the game. Death had consequences, with a level being lost, as well as risking loss of your items if someone looted you or your corpse was lost. This alone was hard enough to make most players give up. I played (and played wisely) to get there, being the first of my friends. It was hard work and fun.
After months of playing every day, finally, I was a wizard! Well, first, I had to convince someone else to take me as an apprentice, which was it's own challenge, because I was a 13 y/o girl. I ended up having to wait for an older male friend to get to the proper rank and get made a full wizard himself, because anyone else was reluctant (thinking that I'd just screw up or make them look bad), and no one was very happy about it. After some more weeks, I started programming my own content for the MUD, to share with others. It was a great opportunity to learn and express myself, seeing how creative programming could be.
I got called all kinds of names for asking questions and making mistakes, and I questioned why I even wanted to work with these people who hated my guts and didn't want to teach me anything, but I kept going. As I wasn't allowed to take computer classes in school, being able to do projects on my own like this was the only way to learn. I also became more stubborn, patient, and independent, which has always been necessary for this career.
Most importantly, I saw what could be done with programming, and was inspired to keep going with my own projects, no matter how much hate that I got for it. I went on to work on more games and software, often on my own. I always explore new technology, ignore the haters, and forge ahead with my own vision.4 -
I have an interview on Thursday for a job I've been doing for the past 9 months - I bloody hope I get it!
I'm currently classed as an 'Apprentice' but have been doing the sole job of the Developer after he left a week before I started.
The only differences between the two roles is the pay difference and title (just about double my current rate).
I've started to produce documentation and processes for rolling upgrades to our application without downtime which is something they're big on.
Public sector for you, it took 9 months for a replacement...8 -
>> this === rant
<< true
At beginning of this year, I only knew HTML, JS, and CSS so I just applied for offers like "Jr Apprentice Dev in Front-End"
In a interview call, the woman told me that they will send me a test asking about my JS and HTML5 knowledge.
When I look in my inbox, the mail subject says "Back-end Test".
Then I call the woman:
Me: "Hello, I have received the test mail, but maybe it's wrong. I applied for a Front-End position and the test is about backend! "
She: "Do you have skills in JS and HTML5?"
Me: "Yes!, and CSS3"
She: "Well, the test is about that. JS, jQuery, and HTML5"
Me: "..."
Me: "Sorry, that languages are Front-End. In the subject say 'Back-End' and Back-End is PHP, SQL, MySQL, Java, .Net... I don't know nothing about that. I only know HTML, JS, CSS."
She: "It's the same"
Me: "I sorry but it's not the same. Fron-End is client-side, what users sees. Animation, colors, FXs, buttons, forms... And Back-End is server-side, what users doesn't see."
She: "Well, JS, HTML, and CSS is backend for us. We call it that way too"
Me: "Sorry but that is wrong. I invite you to read some basic info. Now I am confused"
Of course that I am not confused. That idi0t was wrong.
Perhaps recruiters should take some info about areas where they are recruiting... (:T)3 -
Having a look through my .bashrc, apparently forgot about this.
Thank you bong smoking, fortune telling cow.
2 -
The moment when you as an apprentice have to maintain the code of a java web application which was mostly written in 2004 with java 1.4.....
The most terrible part is that the production environment runs still java 1.7 and you think about the fancy java 8 features all the time😐😑😐7 -
My apprentice quit!
Posted the other day about him quitting ...
He did ( he could of read the old post )
Just took him two days to do it
Worst fucking thing he fell asleep this morning on his way to work , so he's late anyway 9 start time actually arrives 9:40 .... ! Normally today it was 10:50 till he arrived... On a day he quits
Now he expects me to pay him extra money .... Holiday days etc ...
I want an apprentice who wants to be good at software 😐
Thing is he said it's not what he wants , I think development is something you learn to love.. because of the challenges. You always when starting out facing huge brick walls you have to get through.
Some people just don't have the capacity to get through them. I think. Developer has to love the difficulty .. you fail multiple times before the finished product ... All the errors. Little fixes no one sees.
It takes dedication.... Hard work to be the best. He didn't get that.
I now have more respect for other devs ( I had a lot already ) knowing that we all went through all of that and now. We are people with true talents.3 -
Alright, I've already ranted about this but I feel like that was rather incomplete.. there's some other things that make me want to kill myself every time I enter <!DOCT- WHERE IS THAT FUCKING KNIFE?!!!
First one I've mentioned earlier is its <repetitiveness></repetitiveness>. What was wrong with {brackets}? If only HTML was more like CSS.
But there's some other ones as well.
- Frameworks! Ain't there nothing like a good dozen resources that every single one of your web pages wants to get JS from.
- Quantity over quality. Let's just publish early with tonnes of bugs, move fast and break things, amirite 🤪
- General noobness of apprentice web devs. Now I'm not talking about the real front-end devs here - AlexDeLarge was one of them.. forever holding a special place in my heart - that know how to properly use their tools. But there's a metric shitton of people who think that being able to write <html><body>Hello world!</body></html> makes them a dev.
- The general thought of "it's slow? Slap in more hardware." Now this is a general issue with software development, optimization costs valuable resources while leaving it in a shitty state but released quickly costs pretty much nothing. A friend of mine whose post I'll attach in the image section illustrates this pretty well. You can find it at https://facebook.com/10000171480431....
I'm not sure if this is an exhaustive list, but those are the most important things that irritate me about web development in general.
On a side note, apparently 113 people visited my hiddenbio.html page.. I'm genuinely impressed! I had no idea that so many people on devRant would click through. On Facebook pages this has been an ongoing significant issue of getting people to leave the platform - it's huge but engagement on off-Facebook links is terrible. I guess that I'm dealing with an entirely different community here. And I'm pleasantly surprised actually!
11 -
After 9 months of my course that involved much fear, anxiety and depression, last night I had a great moment.
Learning about scrapers for my dissertation - watched 10 minutes of a tutorial video then thought of an idea and went away and an hour later had built a little program to read a restaurants menu on their website then read back what they had in the form of a poem - all in a language I hadn't used before that night.
The reason I learnt coding was that I idolised the idea of thinking of a problem and then just solving it with your own code. Last night was the first time I felt like I might be getting there.
:).
p.s. Sorry this isn't very ranty.2 -
Two weeks ago, our lead presents jenkins to our apprentice.
Apprentice : why some projects have a cloud icon and other a sun ?
Lead : because there were cloud outside when build finished.
Today we still laugh about it. -
Just recalled the time we sent the new apprentice developer to HR for a "verbal agreement form" to request his birthday off. HR Came back down with him unsure as to where to find the verbal agreement forms.
"Well, that's not very funny." - HR2 -
Nifty little fan, first time it's been hot enough to warrant opening it and I'm pleasantly surprised.
6 -
My apprentice is driving me nuts with his failed attempts on gold-plating.
The task "Get the data and export it to a file" becomes ""After many attempts to get the data via a different query than we worked out together I now finally got it and it makes sense if it was displayed but only one set of data at a time and it should also be selected what data should be exported and I have no idea how to do that so Cero, can you help me?".
Dang it dude, just show me for once that you can do 1 clearly decribed task, where you have many examples to work with, and NOT try to add any extras!
I am now working on how to tell him this in a nicer way...2 -
Being 25 and just now getting employable dev etc skills is really quite daunting when you learn of the old geniuses like Bill Joy, Linus, Wozniak and then hear daily stories of 16 year olds doing amazing things.
Inexperience in a field where everyone demands experience is scary. Still excited to see where I Can l can get though.11 -
Being an apprentice programmer in a Ludum Dare (Create a game in 72h) that knows more than the official programmer, and have an artist in the group who makes THIS PIECES OF ART!
She didn't even had a computer to work with it, neither she asked for one to the event, so eventually she used mine... And I could not do my work.
Did I mentioned that she used PAINT to color the images?
This is a long, looong story, I'll do the complete version soon...
God.
12 -
My brother, who is a programmer too, throwed the big java book at me and said: Read this and you'll have a job. So I read it and got a job. I'm a practical learner, so I just picked up the basics from the book. OOP and all that I learned while working. It was like a decently payed apprentice position. But I was my own teacher.3
-
!rant
Just signed a contract as a full-time web developer at Mid-Norway's largest productions house.
Prior 6 months as an apprentice, no prior formal education, self-taught since the age of 12, and I'm 20 now.
I see myself needing a stress ball in the future3 -
Client: here's what we want, a website where someone can directly edit any file on the website, php that java thingy all of it. Hell allow them to access, the os so they can see how that works to.
Me: ... Hey great idea ... We could set the server up in your offices ! I could link the server to all your computer's they can modify anything you have on there as well. That won't cause any issues.... At all.
Client: urm why?
Me: *hangs up* sigh ....
It's a fake scenario.... But how I feel like when I speak to clients 😐 based off what some guy wanted to do, a whole training thing for devs to learn how servers work ... The idea is ok to train... Say an apprentice, but he wanted to attach this to the Internet.... Not limit its use... Obviously way to expensive. -
Me apprentice 18 years old in germany: I don’t want to go in another team
Also me in the new team after 2 days: playing with my new boss during work CSGO and say everyone we are to busy with the big project3 -
Short rant: I hate xcode, I hate Swift, I hate Apple.
After 3 weeks of intensive work (I'm an apprentice, part-student, part-worker), I was happy to go back to school and was like "Oh we're going to learn iOS, sounds cool !".
It is now friday, I have homicidal tendencies growing inside me, I want to cry whenever I hear xcode or swift.
Why in the hell I can't use a string argument when I'm calling a function NEEDING a string arg ?
Why do xcode take so long to tell me that there is a problem, why is the error message not explicit AT ALL ?
Why dictionaries so hard to manipulate, EVEN IN JAVA IT'S SIMPLIER.
Why putting our API call in specialized files make them run AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE and the solution that is given to us is deprecated since 5 years ?
Why is a classic c-style for loop is now deprecated ?
These are just a drop in the ocean of WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT that we came across this week.
Fuck Swift, fuck xcode.
7 -
Long time no rant from me. Sorry guys, has been a tough time for me.
Little background: I'm an apprentice and as such definitely not a fully trained professional. I'm working in a big company with people who have very let's say interesting ideas what I should be able to do.
This whole disaster begins shortly after I started my apprenticeship. I was offered to choose my first little project. "Something from the backlog, not very challenging and a nice beginner one. It's just about a PoC" ok, le me thinks. I choose to make a weather display.
Basic functionality was provided within the next 3 weeks. My direct boss (let's call him Jo) liked it and talked to his boss (Hugo) about it. Hugo was so excited he called our product manager to get my plugin into our software asap and began to think about where else we could use this.
This is where shit went downhill. Hugo told me it was my task to implement it on a totally different platform and to "host it in azure". I don't know much about azure and I never used it. I told him that I'd need time and some kind of sandbox to try and learn how things work. He promised but nothing ever came through. Not even Jo could do something about this.
They told me I should write this asap because "every customer would LOOOOVE this" and I honestly can't think of a way to meet all their requirements without access to our azure system/ sandbox. (There are a lot of requirements)
Am I wrong? Should I be able to do this? I'm a fucking trainee. I don't know everything.7 -
To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!
1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!
We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!
76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.
WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)4 -
I drink a lot and of water so I always have two glasses by my bedside -
A full one in case I get thirsty and an empty one in case I don't... -
I did a project once and it came back to haunt me - this is how I got the job I have now:
I was already working for the company, in the second year of my vocational training as an electronics technician when I got a assigned The Project.
In brief, The Project was a kind of measurement automation implemented with some arduinos. I was tinkering with them at the time in my free time so they must've thought 'Hey, great, she can do that, so she can also do The Project!'
Just that I couldn't - after investing nearly a year, getting frustrated because of the lack of time, support, knowledge etc. The Project died quite unceremoniously and I resumed my training normally.
I just wish devRant already existed back then, it'd have made up for some spectacular rants - The Project was fucking nerve-wrecking due to incoherent behaviour by some hardware and I had to battle the whole big, ugly thing more or less alone as an apprentice.
If it hadn't died at the time it did I feel like I would've brutally murdered it with a shovel - that is, if someone actually would've cared enough to buy me a shovel.
But it ended and I let it go.
In the last year of completing this vocational training, my feeling of "This is not enough" and growing boredom with the routines of my future job had manifested. I wanted to go back to university but also continue working at the same time.
I wasn't ready to do freelancing nor did I want to quit at that time - most people there are amazing and I'm still learning much from them - so I asked early for a student position and got one.
And to get some continuity in my work, it wasn't just any student project I was assigned to but The Project. It came back alive, laughing at me, leaving bodies of dead electronics in its wake, after all these years.*
And that's how I got my current job.
*(They asked me if I was OK with it and they dropped the Arduinos and other hardware in exchange for a bit more software. Also I have a team of great engineers which I can ask for help anytime should I get stuck, so I got that going for me which is nice.) -
When you're using any Android or Windows phone and passerby asks "Is that an iPhone? That looks like an iPhone".
😒4 -
Fun stuff from the few most recent pages in Dwarf Fortress bug tracker:
Human civilization's soldier is an Alligator Recruit.
Dead suspects confess to crimes
Crash due to zero-size weasel
Pets and other animals from retired fortresses appear as selectable 'workers' in request screen, die of old age on arrival
Some animal people have extra fingers
People dying twice?
Most confusingly, one necromancer shows as having died from old age twice, despite this not being possible.
My Nature Hating Adventurer Who Lacks Altruism And Is Very Cruel Isn't Happy After Butchering Animals
bat man males don't have geldables
Reanimated severed werebeast necromancer hand has a full body
Dwarf likes "cacao wood wood"
Dwarves turn hostile againt the player and defend their prison from raid sent to free them
Visitors giving birth during visit leave their baby behind
a water buffalo got stuck inside a rough tetrahedrite wall
Animals which retract into body parts forget to come out
Herbalist stuck on stepladder, starving to death.
Artifact has an image of nothing
Cave Dragons are sometimes intelligent, and sometimes join human civilizations
A goblin knocked over a workshop and now my dwarves are killing each other
Ambusher elves are being spotted, but the giant monsters they're riding on aren't.
runs with food from table to table. Can't eat
Intelligent Undead Sent on Mission Return as Ghosts
Horrified merchants immediately destroy their wagons, pack their goods and leave the depot
Dwarf king abdictates to become commoner necromancer apprentice
Internal body parts with certain tags can still wear clothing & armor, without being otherwise accessible
Necromancer marries zombie
Single dad dwarf with buggy dead wife leaves kid behind when he takes over holding
Large quantities of adamantine coins causes trade depot to burst into flame3 -
Today marks the day that i finally get to do stuff on a production server.
Its just installing the elasticsearch cluster. But i still feel honored by the trust im given even tho im still an apprentice.6 -
I just set up my 8 year old nephews new (very old) laptop with elementary OS. Took the chance to explain a bit about operating systems and how computers and programs are made and how they work. He is very interested. I'm excited to have a new apprentice!1
-
When I was 6yo I was playing next to my dad with his old PC on a good old CRT a game called “Sperms” where you catch sperm with condoms and every time you do it made a really loud “YIPPIE” sound. I was playing this game for 4 years.
Somewhere around when I was 10 my dad told me we should build a PC and I was asking “Why does everyone has to make their own PC?”, I didn’t yet know what an cheap ass my dad is, so we did. Had a lot of fun and was very scared of the PSU, like really scared.
It blew up a few months later because I switched the toggle on the back from 220v to 110v, and got even more scared of PSU’s until I started an electricians apprentice.
Anyways, one day my dad and I where at a friends place and I played Tux Racer on his super loud Maschine that would crash if you kept the side door of the table closed, it ran some kind of Linux and I was fascinated how “simple and clean” it looks. I got a mini-cd to install it at home and immediately was hooked because the windows installation was such a pain in the arse those years. I did that all by myself just because I also wanted to play Tux Racer at home.
Anyways, somewhere right before GTA IV came out I started with VB.Net and ever since I was totally hooked and spend more time doing that than actually going to school.
My dad didn’t care and just let me do this, my mum just made sure I would have been up at least after the first lession, I don’t miss the bus and that I went to bed in a timely manner, which never happened because the PC was in my room and my mum slept downstairs and couldn’t notice that I was doing script kiddie things after an hour or so of “sleeping”.
So yeah, they didn’t care and were happy I didn’t annoy them.
Actually I didn’t wanted to become a developer because I always wanted to have it be a hobby or something and I liked woodwork more, but then people more qualified than me were more stupid than this script kiddie that still just wanted to play Tux Racer. That’s it.2 -
Anecdote from when I used to be an apprentice:
Setting: Small company, number of employees -> ε, direct superior is the founder and owner, no tech background
Boss: I've looked at this backup directory of the ERP /* why is he even going through that stuff?*/, it looks messy as hell, I want you to tidy that up
Me: Those are incremental backups, I can't just go and delete some of them, the application manages them by itself
Boss: Get it tidy!8 -
>Be me.
>Apprentice dev, first real programming job.
>Excited to start work.
>Contract comes through.
>About what I expected, i.e. we own everything you make while working here.
>Sign and send the signed pages back.
>Next day...
>READ THESE 5 20 PAGE PDF BOOKLETS, DO PENSIONS, SIGN 3 DOCUMENTS, LET US LOOK UP YOUR DICK PICS AND EVERYTHING ELSE, GIVE US YOUR PASSPORT, AND SEND BACK THE ENTIRE CONTRACT.
>...ok.6 -
(Apprentice dev)
Cut me some slack ;)
Learning JavaScript for a few days To a week to familiarise myself with it and really get to grips with it.
Then have to go on to jQuery which is a lot a fun I must say, very easy structured framework to learn and found myself getting really engrossed into it.
Now for the past few days I've been learning angular1 which is a really cool framework, can be a little bit complicated at times but it is learnable
Moral of the story is you never stop learning! Which isn't a bad thing by the way I'm finding web developing a lot of fun!7 -
When I was an apprentice in a small company, ...
my boss told me that his company would never ship release builds, because the "evil optimization option" is responsible for breaking his code.
My first thought was that it wouldn't make any sense at all. The default option for code optimization is always set to zero.
After investigating his code, I found out that he didn't care to properly initialize his variables. The default compiler option for debug builds did implicitly initialize all variables to zero. After that I've confronted him with the fact that implicit null initialization does not conform to the standard of C and C++. He didn't believe me what I was saying and he was questioning my knowledge about C and C++. He refused to fix his code to this day, so he keeps building his libraries and applications always in debug mode.
Bonus fact: He would never build 64-bit applications, because his serialization functions do get incompatible with exisiting file formats. -
Friday end of work - select shut down and update, thinking PC would do those things.
My morning so far:
2 -
!rant
TLDR; time to look for alternatives
Had a negotiation appointment with our CTO recently, due to the fact that I am going to finish my apprenticeship by the current year. As I heard from colleagues that the average pay for a finished apprentice isn't really the best, I wanted to try myself at bargaining it a bit higher.. So we went into the meeting and I brought up my argument, bossman just shrugs it off as laughable and that he can do it 100x better, so why should I define my pay on that.. The appointment was just very uncomfortable after that, no appreciation of my efforts at all. Not like I already work like a normal employee just with a quarter of the pay 😑2 -
Now I also experienced the corporate IT - hell.
I'm an apprentice at a small but branch of a fairly big company.
We get a fuckton of guidelines from our IT-HQ, plenty of them outdated.
We can't even decide how to configure our firewalls our self, but get them preconfigured from the HQ.
They micromanage us so hard, we can't even put a switch in a room, without having to arrange that shit with them.1 -
FUCK YOU VODAFONE!
My internet broke down the weekend, 4 minutes after I left my house on Friday at 9.04am.
Issue resolved after work at 9pm, broke down half an hour later.
Total silence. Providers status page gave 500 response.
THE NEXT DAY: Woke up because Netflix was working at 8.26am again.
Great, I get up. Can't wait to do anything I want again! I can code, game, watch porn, possibilities are endless!
I get stuff to breakfast. Come back and guess what? NO INTERNET!
Got confirmation of existence of problems at noon. Something with streaming, possibly fixed by Monday.
Okay maybe streaming, but shouldn't the other stuff then work? I process.
Used up my mobile data. Tried again, now it works, but...
.. why.. so.. slow? It was worse than 3g. Time to get out lynx to Google.
It's Sunday. I woke up pissed, got myself a Coffee and tried to get some offline work done. I sipped, closed my eyes for a moment and opened chrome.
IT WORKED! omg, fuck yes! I almost cried I was that happy - can you believe it?
All fine an dandy Monday. So surely the streaming thing will also be gone now, cool.
Today's day is Tuesday. Guess why I am writing this.
Fuck these apprentice nigga cunts graaaaa!!! Or their infrastructure will finally break down.
How is it even possible to do any work on a very important node at a time where probably everyone wants to chill out with the web?7 -
When I was an apprentice in a small company, ...
I had to witness the shortest job interview in my life. The company was searching for a secondary full time developer and one applicant got the chance to have a job interview.
The interview was planned at 10 o'clock in the morning. The applicant has arrived at the interview at time, but my boss didn't. After about a hour my boss has arrived.
They went into his office, and you can just hear a loud yell why the applicant came too early. The applicant told him that he got there at time and he has waited about a hour for him.
My boss have asked how the applicant came to this place and the applicant told him that he has used public transportation with the correct arrival time.
Someone like my boss who does not use any public transportation at all accused the applicant being a liar and he should stop bullshitting him.
The applicant yelled back what the hell is going on and he is not there to get yelled at. After that the applicant went away very angry.
We had a very good laugh at the neighboring office.3 -
Ahhh, When the apprentice asks you to have a look at a bug and they haven't even attempted to fix it themselves.4
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Always interested in computers, started taking stuff apart, eventually found Linux, fell in love with that a bit and through command line learnt more.
Now finished a comp sci MSc and about to start a job. All I in know is there is a huge amount more to learn before I feel competent and confident. Excited about that though. -
Used to work tech support at a school.
The sheer amount of people that would come from buildings away to ask for help with the mouse or keyboard not working was weird. The annoying part, most have probably guessed, was that it was always just unplugged. Teacher's did this too. -
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
When I was an apprentice in a small company, ...
in the beginning I had the order to only work on my local machine. After my boss told me to work with him in a "team". I have asked him what version control system he uses for his project. He's been in this bussines for atleast 30 years, and he asked me with a serious face what in the world version control is. I couldn't resist to giggle. -
When I first got Linux, then fell in love with diving through the system on the command line. Then I also realised I finally had the confidence to learn what I wanted, instead of what was advised to me.
Still in no way confident with programming, but I'm getting there. -
Soooo I am an apprentice who just started his third year. Everybody in my team (3 ppl) left for better jobs.
I am now basically front and backend lead, teaching four new employees our restapi, web and javafx frontend.
At the same time I fix errors happening in production and develop new features.
I guess there are many great rants to come, so stay tuned :D
Going to write about things like tests that got disabled months ago after migrating to gradle, no documentation, finding out how to set up new development workstations with an outdated script missing important steps, management, print debugging in production and much more :)
Oh and it is not that bad, I learned more in the last month than in the two years before. (not saying my team was bad)1 -
We had serverside profiles at school. And at one day someone forgot to sign off. So me, the bored dev apprentice, wrote a cmd Programm which spammed every folder with a txt file with contents like "Sign off next time!" Then wrote that sentence to a desktop file until the drive was full.
They had to restore a server backup since that appearantly fucked the system1 -
!rant
Rant from my previous work as a consultant Data Engineer (wish I had known this site back then).
During my stay at the place, we have a big client whose contact with us was an incompetent stressful fellow.
I single-handedly build a humongous automated data pipeline using Airflow. I am very proud of my baby as my first massive project and check it obsessively for every possible flaw, especially when writing down documentation for the poor soul that would take my place.
Luckily for me, everything is working as intended, until of course on my last day of work, shit hits the fan, and everything breaks down.
After a moment of initial panic: it was Thursday morning, we had a Machine Learning model to run over the weekend, predictions to make and reports to write and a very lovely next week deadline, I calm down.
"I won't be dealing with this shit anymore, starting from 18:00 PM and anyway Fear Is The Mind Killer."
Quite sure that it couldn't have been my code, I start looking at various logs when the culprit was clear. The B(ig) S(tupid) C(lient) changed the whole schema of the data he was feeding to us.
I call him: he has no idea of what was done to the data. Hell, at first he doesn't seem to remember what the deal with schema, data, and SQL is (the guy was supposed to be a big shot in the IT department). It turns out he hired one of our competitors to do his side of the collection pipeline. He tries to get mad at me, but everything he throws bounces back to him. I am calm yet ruthless pointing out how every major hiccup had been his fault and that I could quickly reach to his board of directors explaining why their Machine Learning model was late.
Result: he apologizes, extends our deadline, and I get a round of applause from other juniors who would have to deal with me had I failed.
Never am I happier to not work as an underpaid cannon fodder apprentice in a shitty consultant firm.
Luckily for me, everything is working as intended, until of course on my last day of work, shit hits the fan, and everything breaks down.
After a moment of initial panic: it was Thursday morning, we had a Machine Learning model to run over the weekend, predictions to make and reports to write and a very lovely next week deadline, I calm down.
"I won't be dealing with this shit anymore, starting from 18:00 PM and anyway Fear Is The Mind Killer."
Quite sure that it couldn't have been my code, I start looking at various logs when the culprit was clear. The B(ig) S(tupid) C(lient) changed the whole schema of the data he was feeding to us.
I call him: he has no idea of what was done to the data. Hell, at first he doesn't seem to remember what the deal with schema, data, and SQL is (the guy was supposed to be a big shot in the IT department). It turns out he hired one of our competitors to do his side of the collection pipeline. He tries to get mad at me, but everything he throws bounces back to him. I am calm yet ruthless pointing out how every major hiccup had been his fault and that I could quickly reach to his board of directors explaining why their Machine Learning model was late.
Result: he apologizes, extends our deadline, and I get a round of applause from other juniors who would have to deal with me had I failed.
Never am I happier to not work as an underpaid cannon fodder apprentice in a shitty consultant firm. -
After my first ever "thing" I wrote (see story here: https://devrant.com/rants/2132057/...) fast forward 7 years to my first project when I /* thought I */ knew what I was doing and didn't write just for myself.
Preset:
I worked in a very small company distributing various materials for medical research, many of them bought from manufacturers and then relabelled as if we had produced it. One part of that was to indicate a production batch / lot number. Before I started there, they would just invent a random number on the spot and use that on the new label and somewhere write it down to document that, I at least used an Excel sheet to have numbers prepared and document it on the same line (still crappy but more than nothing). After some time my boss got the idea to have all of that documented in MS Access (because that was the only database he knew). I had just started with HTML, PHP and MySQL in apprentice school around the same time, so I proposed writing an appropriate solution using those and got permission.
-----
I started coding and learnt so much that I didn't need to pay attention at school anymore as I was years ahead of the curriculum (the others were struggling with If-statements and the likes).
When I was done with Version 1.0 of my web application, it was of course still crude as hell. I used html forms to save input (like editor.php -> submit to save.php, do save -> redirect to editor.php), but it did what had not been done before: keeping it all together and force people to do it properly. 2 years later I wrote a version 2, adding features that showed to be useful and with improved structure, as my last project before leaving, and as far as I know, they are still using it, which is at this point 2 years after I've left.
Looking back I would do it differently, but for what I knew back then it was not bad at all.2 -
In today's job interview for an apprenticeship for the "Anwendungsentwicklung" position where they specialize in SAP systems (ABAP).
They told me that this position is a new thing in their company and that they want me, once I agree with their contract (which they will send later), to take responsibility for that.
I'm fine with that.
Now comes the part that is bugging me. They also said that the IT manager does not want to be disturbed often, if I have questions.
(I mean I will definitely have some questions. I am an apprentice after all, right? Like why should I join your apprenticeship program, if you refuse to teach me stuff? I can study on my own, as well and not be in your program.)
Just a few times and that's it. They admitted that they do not know much about that position and that I have to learn most things myself. No books and no other resources. They also do not know where the school is going to be yet.
The people in the interview I've spoken to where nice and we made some jokes here and there, but the fact that the company does not want to support me in an apprenticeship is saddening.
I do not know...maybe I'm just too concerned and this is normal day to day stuff for apprentices, but from what I have read about apprenticeships this is not the right thing to do as a company on the internet.
Correct me in the comments, if you think differently.
I will use this company as a last resort.6 -
Dissertation is about dark net markets, was proposed as a research project but I decided to make some scrapers to add in a programming aspect.
Unsurprisingly dark net markets are a bitch to scrape.
At least I'm learning stuff :p. -
!rant
So I was an apprentice in infrastructure and have been wanting to move into dev. I worked at my company for a year after the end of the apprenticeship and have now been given a job offer as a VB Dev! I'm so excited -
For work i need to learn the java Spring framework . In doing it at work since im an apprentice. Im wondering where to start, i have written a lil bit of java and in familiar with c#. Im currently doing the guides on spring.io are there other resources you ppl can reccomend for learning the spring framework? Thanks in advance :)14
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So there is this big shot at work who makes out to the management that he knows it all. I'm pretty quiet normally and dont let on. The manager kiss his ass daily. He was an apprentice 6 months ago. So we all in some shitty meeting today about some based web service that uses a Linux host. Then in the meeting he asked me if Linux was free? Hahahaha haha. What a fucking idiot! I mean I get that people don't know everything but that
S a whole new level of stupid! 😅🤣😅🤣 -
Feels awsome to have earned a higher standing as an apprentice in the eyes of my Supervisor. I dont get more money but they now let me fix/add stuff that was made by fancy Uni students as theyr project. Appart from the mandatory apprenticeship stuff im treated like a normal dev at the company :D. I'm very happy about that
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Ah the joy transitioning from the unrestricted apprentice network to the tightly restricted prod and dev network and environment. U can be sure thst the corporate proxy will give you a dropkick to ure face when trying anything that was released in the last 5 years...
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Teamleading apprentice reporting in.
Today our new frontend employee told me our app wont start. I have wasted 90 minutes figuring out somebody installed an older node version via remote. Turned out the head of our administration thought: mhm it has been more than three weeks since they reported they had problems on the new frontend employee pc, lets check it out.
He did not inform anybody, not the user of the pc, me or the head of our IT department. -
I've hired a apprentice that's literally today Said he doesn't want to be a programmer i said then... what are you doing here?
He didn't say anything ...
Do I fire him he didn't quit? I mean weird fucking situation. He doesn't seem engaged anymore so ... He ain't doing shit I should add4 -
Me, an apprentice, got to contribute towards a project for the business.
I only have access to the git of that particular project, no access to the other projects, databases or sourcecodes.
Thing is, we basically have to redo an old programm to access and work with the database, so having access to the sourcecode of that or access to the database would be very very helpful.
I have to guess the attributenames of the tables and what the code looked like that assembled all the data together for the overview.
I feel incredibly unprepared for this. -
Started as an apprentice to copy and paste some content in. Dabbled with the HTML editor in the process, it started from there
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Create popout pages, all looks and works well...
Except in bastarding Internet bloody Explorer -
In IE if you use one particular dropdown list then everything moves slightly to the left... Why?
Why IE, why are you still even real? Why do Microsoft think you're worth maintaining?
Why have Microsoft given us two crap browsers instead of one normal one?
You're an utter waste of time, memory and money and I want you to go away. -
When I was an apprentice in a small company, ...
I had the order to set up Subversion on our machine with a fresh installation of Linux Ubuntu. The order included to create only a single repository for all projects we were working on. He totally missed the point how version control works. In his opinion it is just a place to store backups, and nothing more.2 -
Week2 day 1 of beeing in the database team to learn more sql. Turns out the task they want me to complete is rather easy. So this is day 2 of doing exactly nothing.
Also im not allowed to do the task all on my own since the other apprentice has to learn it too.
These short blocks never have any challenging tasks to do *sigh* -
For the challenge:
The challenge of living within your means when you start out then realising that no company gives the payrises and/or bonuses stipulated as possible in the contract or 'a sure thing' by the recruiter, such that what was comfortably your living within your means becomes living well outside your means thanks to inflation, and no pay review to make things match.
OR
Because I like to do work that either never gets used, or gets rewritten and fucked by the apprentice before anyone attempts to use it.2 -
Right on my way to the city I'll be working in for the next 3 weeks.
I work for a medium sized company, belonging to a big AF, like in one of the world biggest players in their branch, company.
I got transferred to another location on the other side of the country for a few weeks, as part of my apprentice-ship.
I'm already thrilled to start work tomorrow. -
Currently working on a conversion of a tool we use to keep track of our working hours (like how much time did we spend on that task, that project etc.), because the old version of that language sucks ass and the database system sucks even more ass.
Besides the other stuff that's freaking horrible in that fucking shit tool (crashes when entering wrong input, etc.) - the genius that created that peace of crap (1997!) decided that he wants to use a fucking timestamp as a PK-column on some tables.
Why the fuck would you that?! Jesus fuckin' christ.
And of course, the fuckin apprentice has to deal with this shit and has to be finished yesterday x)3 -
Remembering those good old apprentice days, when you had to had 2+ years of experience + 3 or more different languages, just to receive minimum wage. Those were THE days.. *sigh*3
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During the last few hours, at least, 4 coworkers got let go because of financial reasons.
I'm pretty safe, as I'm an apprentice and here (Germany) apprentices can't be fired easily, except after breaking the company-rules/law.
However, I'm afraid the company might be closing down in a few weeks/months.3 -
When you're an apprentice web developer and your co-workers face palm when you ask the dumb questions1
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When a colleague and I explained OOP to a new apprentice with I think it were just some symbols in the console changing at the same time.
We were going crazy.
He was like "Ehm...okay..."
And you would expect it to be the other way around...teaching is such a nice thing!
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