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When I worked for an online dating app, at one point we had the ridiculous idea to try to take a popular LinkedIn feature and convert it to a dating app feature in order to capitalize off of the success LinkedIn had with it.
The feature was LinkedIn endorsements. The idea was to allow the dating app users to get endorsements from people in their contacts lists on certain traits/features from a defined list (ex. Funny, smart, etc.). It wasn’t a terrible idea on the surface, but the way we planned to execute on it was insane and everyone knew it was going to fail. To avoid any controversy all of the endorsable terms were watered down to the point where no one would ever find using them/asking their friends for endorsements to be any fun. And the worst part was how we planned to get people to ask their friends for endorsements - management wanted us to build a contact list importer and just spam email contacts with “please endorse me” emails. The whole thing was ridiculous.
No one, including myself, wanted to build the feature/spam tool but management really wanted it so we had to build it. Like expected, it failed very quickly when it was clear no one cared about getting their real life friends to endorse them on some dating app, and the spam contacts took was ineffective and... spammy.10 -
Fellow front end coworker got asked via email today to "capitalize the '2019' in the headline".
Still laughing over this.14 -
So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?
Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~13 -
If you type capital letters by hitting the caps-lock key twice, you don't deserve to use computers.9
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http://mindprod.com/jgloss/...
Skill in writing unmaintainable code
Chapter : The art of naming variables and methods
- Buy a copy of a baby naming book and you’ll never be at a loss for variable names. Fred is a wonderful name and easy to type. If you’re looking for easy-to-type variable names, try adsf or aoeu
- By misspelling in some function and variable names and spelling it correctly in others (such as SetPintleOpening SetPintalClosing) we effectively negate the use of grep or IDE search techniques.
- Use acronyms to keep the code terse. Real men never define acronyms; they understand them genetically.
- Randomly capitalize the first letter of a syllable in the middle of a word. For example: ComputeRasterHistoGram().
- Use accented characters on variable names.
- Randomly intersperse two languages (human or computer). If your boss insists you use his language, tell him you can organise your thoughts better in your own language, or, if that does not work, allege linguistic discrimination and threaten to sue your employers for a vast sum.
and many others :D -
I hate when people don't capitalize ID in all caps. It is confusing when the write it as Id or id, because I don't know if they're talking about an identifier or the aspect of human nature that exists from birth that subconsciously drives you to want to fuck your mother.8
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For the first time in months, I'm slightly motivated to actually do some coding.
Holy fuck I should probably capitalize on this before it goes away lol1 -
String someStr = "your name";
// but i wanna capitalize it
someStr.capitalize(); // <-- operation has no effect
// ughh, fine 😒
String cappedStr = someStr.capitalise();
// wish I could just do this:
someStr .= capitalize(); // but it throws error 😩16 -
*Filling out unit test plan for tester which is an Excel Document*
*Excel keeps trying to correct capitalization on a word that I want capitalized over and over*
LISTEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT! If I didn't want to capitalize that word I wouldn't have capitalized it! Just do what I tell you to do! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SOFTWARE! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!4 -
Guess it's time to ditch ProtonMail as well.
Translation: "[Update Google play services.] ProtonMail won't work until you have updated Google Play Services."
I know I'm almost an anti-Google nazi at this point, but ProtonMail was one of the only remaining apps not needing Google to work, and now it's a "sin equa non" condition. I'm very disappointed. Guess I'll have to switch this address to Tutanota or host my own email server.
Edit: why the fuck would my autocorrect capitalize nazi?
13 -
At the risk of starting a riot. What is your preference?
// space before comment text
//or jammed up next to it?
// Furthermore, do you capitalize your comments?5 -
Client: me wants more contrast, we git complaints much
Me: stop using thin skin assed font then
Client: Impossiburu bro!
Me:
/* Excuse me */
*{
font-weight: bold;
text-transform: capitalize;
}1 -
I work and live in Italy, if any of you know Italian, you'll probably know there are a few words with accents and also a few locations with accents in their names.
There was this big client for which we built a CMS and the were to insert the names of the vendors of their network, for each vendor there also was the address.
There were SO many addresses with accents and they just couldn't write capital letters with accents, so in the end, I had to make a function to capitalize everything including accents in the CMS.
I know i could have just used the text-transform:uppercase directive in CSS, but... whatever, they kept paying a shitload of money -
There are two typed of computer users; ones that use capslock to capitalize the first letter in their words and the ones that uses shift. I don't count people that doesn't capitalize properly humans so I excluded them.3
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Let people capitalize the letters they want, damn it. Don't we have enough religious persecutions in this world..4
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Both consumerists and anti-consumerists capitalize on your evolutional desire to be better than others.1
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Don't you hate it when you are typing too fast in him and you accidentally capitalize your commands?1
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