windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I repeat

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I think we have a problem here.

*music intensifies*

Standards, why follow them?

God forbid

Googles best javascript framework.

1st link: react is the best one.
Me: Ignore

2nd link: Angular is the best one.
Me: ignore.

.
.
.

8th link: Vue is the best one.
Me: I knew it.

They burn my eyes every time.

Me after discovering devrant

Did happen to me 😂

People who use spaces instead of tabs

When your pc assigns you a Side Quest—I shall not fail you.

But I don't want to add an alias email. Fuck you Microsoft.

Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License (WTFPL)

True..

You know your idea was shit when you ask a freelance dev to make it for you, get denied and then see your idea being ranted about on devrant...

Devrant users today.

The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads…That sucks.

- Jeffrey Hammerbacher, former Facebook engineer

Standards are meant not to be followed.

All good stories start with "when I pushed to production on a Friday..."

Yo.

His palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
Bugs littering his code already
Cold spaghetti 🍝

He’s nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to git push

(Hit a blank with thinking of code-related lyrics, anyone got ideas?)

This definitely counts as a rant

Ep 1

Once I used to wonder how youtube made money.
Now every time I watch a youtube video I am reminded how.

Today is finally the day of my hackathon, have been working with my team for about a month on a personal assistant already. I think we may stand a chance to get in the finals this year, unlike last year, when we started working only on the day of the hackathon.

TabError: inconsistent use of tabs and spaces in indentation

Switched from typing 10 docker commands to docker compose yesterday. It was pure magic.

This is what I call a quick fix.

If (searchTerm == "coronavirus") {
return null;
}

If I changed girlfriends as often as I changed JavaScript libraries, I'd still be looking for a girlfriend.

Cuz I try and avoid using JavaScript.

Submitting long written text on browser.

Novice:
1. Type
2. Submit

Experienced:
1. Type
2. Ctrl+a Ctrl+c
3. Submit

My favorite thing about completing a project is closing a bazillion browser tabs.

Developing app for iOS is expensive.

When websites disable right click

@dfox should split devrant into categories.

-rants
-advice/help
-weekly rants (already there)
-dev memes

Then people can just read rants or whatever they want without other things getting in the way.

Down vote can also be used if something is in the wrong category

So frustrating when this happens.

#trump.elected > #population {
transition: 5s;
location: canada;
}

Found this very helpful review on playstore.

The irony 😂

++ if you get it...

Css puns.

Spoken like a true programmer 😂

I create a chimera in all my projects.

It's truly amazing how much a single line of perl can do. Such a time saver.

I only wish that I could understand what it does two days later.

'This basically sums up everything I know about sports

Web developers be like

Just movin around..

If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

* Calls themselves "Software Engineer"
* Doesn't know what a thread is.

I swear these coding boot camps are churning out code monkeys whose real skill is building shitty React apps.

I believe a CS degree is necessary if you want to work on something more than CRUD applications.

Nothing against devs without degrees, but at least make an effort because my head will explode next time I have to explain to someone what a thread is and why it's a very bad idea to run blocking code on the main thread.

Dear Chrome/firefox developers,

If someone presses the back button after they click on a link it means don't load that page and not go back to previous page.

Don't you just loathe the moment when you are about to paste something you just copied, you have the text to replace all highlighted and shit...
and then you accidentally accidentally hit Ctrl-C instead...

FML

Hahahahahahahahahha I'm not going to do anymore of your "quick" projects that result in shit pay and drain me out. I got actual fulfilling projects I enjoy working on hahahahah not again "friend". The audacity of this guy to ask me to handle a big project alone while he sits on his ass and gets a 50% cut. He should have paid attention in school if he wanted to be a programmer. All he does is lie to clients that he can code yet runs to me to do all the work. Hahahah let's see how he gets out of this one. Not gonna help you today "friend".

This guy hugs now 😂

Laravel payment gateway
Ep 2 (part 1)

ps: all chats are dummy of the original of conversation and a little bit exaggerated but they are close to the original facts

If we are living in a simulation then I am pretty sure that the quantum mechanics part was written in javascript.

I love this database primarily because it is cross platform and can be easily understood by anyone unlike SQL database files.

work haunts me to eat

Yeet I just made a brainfuck compiler with python

Sorry if this is offensive to anyone.

"Your code is just about as useful as the __pycache__ folder"

It's when you lack electricity that you really start to question your life style

Multithreading in python

Shoutout to YouTube for auto-translating "You suck at cooking ep 23" to "Sie saugen beim kochen episode 23".

Dankeschön

I should really write documentation for my old projects...
Meh. I'll do it tomorrow...

How I see light themes

I feel like a piece of shit because I don't want to help my "friend" who has been faking being a web developer for years. He now has a real project he must develop that actually requires writing code (It's a serious project that requires real Javascript skills) and he's basically fucked.

He usually would hop on the web and download a template, edit it and get paid. But then again I don't want to help him because he always comes to me and I do all the work and save his ass while he does nothing.

I'm in a rock and a hard place right now because I'm also a dev and I actually have a lot of work to do, unlike his lazy ass.

Vim forever

"Intense coding. A day passes. Wait, how the fuck did my code work? It doesn't make any sense!"

It happens so, so often, God why 😐

I was depressed doing a course I hated.

3 years in and I switched to Computer Science.

Best decision ever!

Expectation: I'm going to spend today debugging my app

Reality: adds 10 new features, 30 got commits and some Easter eggs. No bugs fixed.

Damn true.

Give Job

Excuse me while I nuke my Yahoo account from orbit...

I think someone deserves a sticker if their rant gets 100 --'s because hey, at least they tried

I'm convinced no one really understands OAuth2, probably not even the creators.

Every blog, articles and tutorial, you have people saying don't do this, don't do that. Basically, no one agrees on a single implementation.

Want to use passwords for auth in a first party system you fully own? Apparently, that's unsafe.
Hmmm, what about magic links for passwordless auth? Also not safe you say?
Okay, I believe Okta just wants people to use their services, nothing else.

So yeah...

STICKER TIME!

ChatGPT sucks so much for coding tasks and it's laughable.
Like, it's come to a point where it's unusable for me. At all.
It's like a toddler, anything you tell it, it agrees. Then spits out non-existent functions.
The thing actually slows me down.
And yes, I've tried Claude AI and it's slightly better but in no way, shape or form did it improve my productivity.

Those who claim it made them n times faster were never working on complex tasks to begin with.

Gitlab works great actually!

Creativity level "dragon egg".

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter. Its a hardware problem not a software problem...

Any comments?

Devrant

** mike drop **

P.S. I'm sorry 😂. I love devrant.

OKAY

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS STUPID ANDROID EMULATOR.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS LISTEN TO MY MUSIC WHILE PROGRAMMING

BUT NOOOOOOO

WHENEVER THE FUCKING EMULATOR IS OPEN THE QUALITY OF THE MUSIC IN MY BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES GOES TO aBsOluTe SHIT.

CMON GUYS. GET YOUR HEADPHONES OUT OF YOUR ASS AND TEST YOUR FUCKING SOFTWARE

Keep it simple.

Am I going crazy or is the web dev community on some otherworldly drug?
Now "server-side"-whatever is the coolest thing ever?
To the point where client side validation is not recommended anymore and actively discouraged? Are you kidding me? So, you mean to say after filling a long form with millions of fields, the page will RELOAD when I press submit and after waiting an eternity for your shitty server to respond then and only then will I know what fields are invalid?
GTFO with that bullshit.
How in the world is that good UX/UI?
I've always had this theory that we humans are the dumbest species to ever walk this earth. I mean, serisouly, how is this even a thing?

Imagine if a mobile app had to restart to tell you that your email is invalid in a simple form.

But.. but... but... what if the client has disabled javascript? Then fuck them! Who the fuck cares? What's next? Some dumb user is still using Android 2.1 Eclair and we should make our app support them? Fuck no! Fuck them, they should update.
Newsflash, if Javascript is disabled, then pretty much everything will be broken anyway.

Form validation should be instantenous. This isn't rocket science.
It should happen as the user types so they can see what's valid/invalid in real-time.
This does require effort and consideration, something many devs lack apparently.

This is just ridiculous.

Anyone else think favoriting a rant should give the author some extra ++ or a counter in their profile?

Sometimes it's better to burn a bridge so you don't even think about crossing it in the future.

See, I left a company some years ago because I didn't see my future in it and all management combined had a collective intelligence of a chicken.
However, I got a call from them a couple of months ago asking me if I could return. The salary was double and the working arrangement seemed fine. On paper. WFH. Flexibile hours...
Since I actually liked the project itself for its technical challenge, I accepted the return offer. What a bad idea that was.

Of course, the things that made me leave for the first time had only gotten worse. Bad leadership, idiot developers in team leader positions. Tech debt higher than Mount Everest. Bad infra that makes you want to off yourself every time you work on it. The whole circus.
Seriously, the "senior" team leader will happily merge code that includes assert(true == true), but hold up a well written MR because he has a personal vendetta with the developer.
Personally, I always check him whenever he starts being an ass. But the poor juniors are in hell. They're terrified.
Now I'm leaving again, but this time I've made sure I can't come back.

Laravel payment gateway
Ep 2 (part 2)

ps: all chats are dummy of the original of conversation and a little bit exaggerated but they are close to the original facts

What to do when you only think about suicide...
I'm so frustrated about my situation... 3 years with a burn out, My boss keeps treating me badly, no one cares enouf to help, can't go to the owners of the company or else my dad will turn his back on me,...

So saturated
So tired of only suffer
No personal life
On my limits...

One more and I may just cut my rists in front of my jerk boss just so he won't forget of what he did to me...
Saw Start wars Ep VII yesterday... that scene with a bloddy hand on a storm trooper's helmet cames to my head everytime I think about it lol

Wish I had no family... so I wouldn't feel guilty and just get on with it.

Sory for the sad post... have to trow it out and I only trust devrant to do it.... (and not having 20 people following me and never leaving me alone)

indent.py

When I look at old screenshots of apps, I think, "this was state-of-the-art once"

One down. Two more to go. yarn install marriage?

<br>
exit

Dev.to app asks me to type in my github username and password into the github login page opened in their app. Is there no better way to do OAuth on Android apps?

Buys a product on amazon.

"Intelligent" ML based Amazon backend services: This guy just ordered a product. He might not want to see any ads showing him the exact same product because he already bought it and will not want to buy another until he loses the first one which might take a while.

Result:
User.showAdsRelatedTo(productName)

Meshine learning ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My code be like:

Call the method cronk...

WROOOONG MEEETTTTTTTHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!

*climbs out of alligator pit*

Why do we even have that method

Can we please stop with the multiverse crap? Please, just stop.
I watched Deadpool & Wolverine yesterday and what a shitshow.
Logan was an excellent send-off to Wolverine. An excellent one.
It showed that Marvel can actually make good movies.
Why did Marvel have to ruin it?

The issue with multiverse plotlines is that nothing is ever serious, there are no stakes, nothing matters.
Anyone who dies can come back. Anything that happens can be reversed.
Just. Fucking. Stop.

One of my favourite franchises, Mortal Kombat, got ruined with MK1 multiverse story.
Played the game for about 30 minutes then deleted it. What a disappointment.

From now on, if a movie features multiverse or time travel crap, I ain't watching.

Have any of you ever done this or worked with people who do this?

Oh shit. Did @Harambe just revive himself into this devrant form?

Double dark theme!

Devrant needs to add a censorship that changes "fuck" to "fsck" because technology

Just used a laptop without an SSD. I almost died.

FUCKING HELL!

I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.

Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh

The floor is Not Getting Shit Done Before Deadline

My sister: "I didn't know that you were so fluent in geek"

I aim to please!

Today's Daily Dev Exercise: practice your patience waiting for clients to email you back.

!dev
I'm a hobbyist photographer but lately I've been getting offers to work on major gigs. Apparently people have started liking my photography.
However, just like some programmers are hardliners when it comes to particular stacks, the camera world is riddled with brand loyalists that can't accept that anything other than their camera gear is better. You have Canon/Nikon users who can't wrap their minds around the fact that Sony is making better cameras for the price.
I ask a question about what lens people recommend and a flame war starts about why X camera is better than Y camera.
Guess what, it ultimately comes down to the skill of the photographer and not the camera. All I wanted was a lens recommendation for a particular style of shooting.
Thing is, all modern cameras are more than capable of doing their jobs.

Anyone else get a feeling that some tutorials are made for trolling purposes? Like, why write an article about the most basic stuff about a particular stack and call it a day? Why copy paste from the docs without adding any new information whatsoever?
Medium.com is the worst offender.

That feeling when you spend hours trying to fix something, only to give up.

Then you come back he next day and find you were missing a comma...

`git push origin master --force`

Start them young!

UNLIMITED POWER

Atleast something good is happening because of coronavirus.

Choooo chooooo (see my previous rant if you don't get it

Apples programming jokes tho

I read an article that says stress balls are far less effective for stress relief than punching your PM on the face.

They should have included a warning...

I have consumed far more chips and guacamole than a normal person eats in a year...

#Devfuel

Live coding interviews basically make no sense.
It's even worse when you can't use an IDE.
Like, bro, what the fuck? You want me to write code in fucking notepad?
Alright then, I can play that game. It's so easy to memorize the algos and pass the test, yet that's not indicative of a good engineer.
I wonder if the roles were reversed, how good the interviewer would perform.

what is the point of having massive HR departments if something as expected and frequent as university hiring can't go smoothly?

i managed to reach the interview round for a big 4 firm only for the interviewer to not show up for 4 hours from my time slot (i waited the entire time - took periodic screenshots for proof), HR to say "we'll reschedule your interview, this happened because of internal miscommunication" more than THREE months ago, and dip. until december they'd repeat the same. now they've ghosted. thanks, virtual hiring.

how is it the candidate's fault? found out this isn't rare by speaking to a few others from my network who i knew were interviewing for the same firm. for students whose lives can change completely based on the outcome of an opportunity that they came across due to sheer luck and could definitely make use of because of their hard work - this is so heartbreaking and demotivating.

MySiteRunsWithNoJsSoHa.js

Is it only me, or is reducing production code size by #ifdef'ing sh*t out sexy as F?

Didn't even ask for 2 sets, the devRant team is just awesome! Thanks!

On and @localhost, it seems like people are sending their setup, so here's my student one :)

can't believe it but things actually have started to fall into place on their own, career-wise. feels unreal. need to work enough to afford a cottage with a cobblestone path & my life will be complete

WHAT COCKSUCKING LUNATICS DECIDED TO MAKE A PDF ONLY ABLE TO DOWNLOAD WITH JAVASCRIPT.

I CANT DOWNLOAD YOUR FUCKING PDFS TO SIGN BY TONIGHT BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS MY IPad. WHICH DOESNT FUCKING HAVE JAVASCRIPT

THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE TO USE JAVASCRIPT AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM. GO CASTRATE YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY KNIFE

I only just started learning Js. And it's going smoothly. In two weeks, I should have gone past the Beginner's level. Then what next?

Apple Music is the worst music service I've ever used.
By far the worst UI/UX ever.
It doesn't allow me to easily organize my music the way I want.
Search is sluggish.
The recommendation algorithm sucks.
Can't LIKE a song without it asking me to also sync my local music files to the cloud. Seriously, why the fuck can't I like/favorite a song and be done with it? Why does it need to sync with my local files?
This is a basic feature that works in literally on any other music platform.
The damn thing can't even play FLAC.

I know Spotify has its issues, but it actualls feels like a well engineered piece of software.
Apple Music seems like it was made by junior devs for a school science fair.

The only thing going for Apple Music is the sound quality, everything else is bullshit.

Just got an internship at Google for their EP program. Any advice for my first software engineering internship? How can I succeed and secure a return offer?

Spends 6 hours trying to fix all the bugs...

Missing a comma on line 3...

After working with a coworker on some odd issues, I finally decided to check on the actual ticket he needed assistance with.

From now on, we will optimize our HTML for aesthetic appeal in Chrome's dev tools. display:none is verboten.

Sometimes I wonder if I've had a stroke or if I've died and am in purgatory.

I finally found something to rant about! So what happened is that I am participating in the Digital Ocean competition (I need to do 5PR's). So I find a report with a lot of scripts. I decide to contribute and write a discord webhook API (send messages through a webhook). The next day, the guy goes "No thanks :)" and closes the PR. Words cannot express how triggered I am. I ask him if I can make anything else out of exasperation (I did not intend to do anything for him anymore, I can't explain why I did that), he tells me no...

;(

!dev
Anyone else sick of "2019 anyone?" comments on YouTube?

Microsoft :

"YOLO All Devops pipeline are now .net 8"

Me, lunching PROD release : "Whatever, I don't use any advanced shit"

Pipeline : "Can't connect to your nuget soure (private) : 401"

Me : What ? You just connected to it in prevous step in pipeline !

Azure : Yah, but prev st ep was using different syntax so it worked

Me : Ok, here you go, same syntax

Azure : Still nop.
Me : WHY ?!!!
Azure : I won't tell you. 401 !!

Me : Fuck you, I 'll rewrite this step from scrath !
30 mins later

Azure : Naaaan, stil 401.
Me : HOW ?!!! You literally use this nuget feed in 2 prev steps with no issues.
Azure : Fuck you
Me : fuck you too.
15 mins later
me to me... Hmm, I've already restored all packages. They "should" stay where they are..
Me : Take that azure : Ignore restoring for this step"
Azure : Oh yeah, that works ! All compiled !

WTF ?!!!! And why they release cha ges without even sending a mail. because fuck us apparently.

God I hate devops....

"Technology, only as good as the dumb shits who are using it" - London has fallen

Visited the post office today. Who said time travel is not possible?

Never gets old...

Dem css puns tho.

RIP battery

Fuck you stackoverflow. You should have told me this before I changed my username. Did you expect me to know this somehow???

There needs to be some sort of enforcement about who can write code. JK,
but seriously, the current dev wannabes and influencers on sh-t-witter and linkedin are literal cancer.
A dude will make a post about how to "scale" a system, yet they have no grasp of the most basic fundamentals. They have no idea what a CDN is, they think you can just store blobs and be done with it. Like, bro, are you going to be serving a 10MB image from the DB every single time it's requested? How WILL that scale? How will low bandwith users be served? Oh, yeah right, I forgot that everyone in the world has 1Gbps internet from NASA.
They think serverless will take care of it.
BUT HOW? No wonder "serverless" companies like Vercel are making bank out of idiots who can't manage to spin up a decent VPS that would take care of 99% of usecases.
Granted, most copy paste regurgitated AI slop from chatgpt but still.
It's so infuriating. There used to be a decent Twitter dev community, but not it's just AI shills, crypto bros and script kiddies all pretending to write code.
It's time I stopped using that site.
Also probably a sign I should quit this industry. Getting tired of it to be honest.
Don't see myself still writing code in 3 years.

Does anyone else get triggered when you use the python socket .recv() and the server does not return anything so the program just stays there indefinitely? For me, I can't even Ctrl+C it so I have to close the entire window. It's especially annoying when I start a server in the interpreter (quite a bit of lines) and I have to rewrite it afterwards.

So, I've been trying to learn assembly. However, I can't find any assembly docs online, so I can't really do anything. I tried NASM and FASM but I just can't understand assembly. Do y'all know any decent way to learn assembly? (My dad said it's better to do it on my pi or should I do it on my desktop?)

Only after seeing horror stories on devrant do you think twice before rm -rf'ing something

What should be the correct name for a person who posts on devrant?

Learning institutions move so slow. Kotlin and Swift are nowhere to be found in this mobile applications course.

fucking software licenses

Just feel like going to a raised platform over my town and scream, "AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!!!"

The later I Stay up, the more wrappers appear next to my computer in the morning...

Funny how that works....

!dev
fuck call of duty and activision. I finally had time to play with my friends when suddenly I had to download a 56 GB update. Why the fuck does every update have to be big? Then after that monstrous update, if you want to play multiplayer, you still need an additional 22 GB for a multiplayer pack which you already have. This has to be the most clueless company out there. I should have uninstalled this game a long time ago.

So my current PC is named the tesseract for its power and squareish case shape.

I just had a thought that if I ever seriously upgrade it or build a new PC, I should name it Thanos...

Some gamers: *Gaming sucks now*
Also, those gamers: *Plays only FPS games*

Like dude, there are so many genres with amazing games that you would have a new game to play every day if you wanted. But oh no, I only play COD and Fortnite and because they suck, every other game in existence must also suck.

Stop playing the same damn games then, maybe you will enjoy gaming once more.
Also, I feel like people complain about FPS games because they expect to win every single match, which is impossible. You will meet sweats and tryhards. That's the reality of any multiplayer game.

Bambi's mom

All code and no tests makes a software buggy, hard to maintain and a pain in the ass to work with.

I now feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

Removing errors from code is like playing whack-a-mole.

You hit one and two pop up again.

Why isn't Haskell as popular as other languages if it is so safe and so expressive?

We're all making dirty money!

This download has a long way to go 😶

!rant
Successfully built and understood two d3.js visualizations today.
Feels good man

I just finished my second semester of computer programming. I then say to myself : "Let's use my new knowledge to make the program I worked on for fun two years ago better and more efficient!".

It was a bad idea.

Managed to get two debug windows at once on firefox today.

every day my boss says he'll review the requirements for our product. every day he forgets to do so. every day he asks where the update for the next stage is. every day i remind him. every day he forg ---

MSAL, Microsoft's absolute dumpster fire of an authentication library. Who in their right mind designed this overcomplicated mess? The documentation reads like it was written by a committee of drunk orangutans throwing darts at a keyboard.
Want to do a simple login? HAHAHA GOOD LUCK! Here's 47 different configuration options you need to set up, three different flow types that are basically the same thing with slightly different names, and error messages that might as well be written in hieroglyphics. "AADSTS700054" yeah that's SUPER helpful, thanks Microsoft!
And don't even get me started on token caching. Oh, you thought your tokens would just... work? NOPE! Hope you enjoy debugging why your perfectly valid token is being treated like a expired coupon at a grocery store. The refresh token flow is about as reliable as a chocolate teapot.

I worked on a great project that was later axed and part of that was because of Msal issues. We literally only dealt with Msal issues. The app was otherwise stable. There were always issues with SSO, login, token validation...
It just couldn't work, like, at all.
I could see the clients getting fed up of the constant issues, yet, they couldn't move away from Microsoft since they'd already invested into their entreprise ecosystem. AzureAD, Office 365, you name it.

Shit like this is why I laugh whenever someone suggests that AGI will take over the world. Like, bro, we still haven't figured out how to make an auth library that actually works, and you think we're close to making a machine capable of thinking like a human?
Yeah right!

Dear community,

Could you please recommend me some (free if possible) sites for SW skill assessment (for example: sites with quizzes, problems, exams etc.)?

Thanks. :)

Time for my daily caffeine injection ritual!

Me: What's this new icon in the app?

* Long press on the icon *

Nothing

Me: Huh. Ok. I will press it and see what it does.

* Presses it *

You have successfully done what you did not want to do. Congratulations!

WTF! Just tell me what it does when I long press it.

PHOTOSHOP ANIMATIONSSSSS

Swift does some things really well, but then falls flat in others. Why is polymorphic JSON decoding/encoding such a pain?
In Kotlin, it's a breeze to support multiple object types.

Can you still play VR games if you can’t C#?

When you put bread in the toaster then start programming and forget about it.

*finds it 6 hours later*

Ooh! Free food!

The cancer has begun to spread. God save Indians' privacy.

Is learning VIM worth it?

I have some (probably unjustified) prejudices to it - I find it rather visually unattractive. But it seems to me also that it boosts productivity.

So do you recommend it and what is least painful way to learn it?