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My company is like:
Boss: How long do you estimate to make a universe?
God: 14 billion years.
Boss: You have 7 days. Please reserve 1 for Q&A.7 -
Wife discovered MS Paint on her laptop.
She asked me how long the ink would last and how to recharge it when it's finished.
I love her anyway.11 -
"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"
"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."8 -
dude: hey could you hand me a patch cable ?
me: how long?
dude: as short as possible
me: sure buddy
😂😂
15 -
Proud dad moment:
My son just worked out how to use a firestick remote to put Thomas on TV.
He's 2.
My parents can barely work their remote without playing 20 questions.
Not long before he learns how to use bash now!11 -
How long will it take?
Me: 45mins
...5 hours later
I thought you said 45 minutes
Me: Yeah. 45 minutes from now.3 -
*sigh*
Ssh'd into raspberry pi:
$ sudo ip link set dev wlan0 down
*waits 5 minutes for response*
Oh.. Oh yeah..15 -
Manager: "How long do you think this will take?"
My brain:
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Don't do it
Me: "Shouldn't take too long"4 -
President of my employer: how long do you thing it will take to complete x type of migration?
Me: I don't know. We've never done one.
President: well how long do you think it will take based on your experience?
Me: I don't know. I've never done one.6 -
Got my new phone a few weeks ago, it rocks a 11000 mAh battery.
Was sceptical as for how long it'd last anyways so charged it last Sunday to see how long it will last with my usage (few hours of devRanting, loads of signalling and quite some firefoxing plus Spotify a lot):
At 40 percent now 😯34 -
Left one of the demo macs at Best Buy with vim running on a terminal shell. Let's see how long it takes for them to exit vim.5
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I wonder how long before people get twitchy thinking I’m hacking just running some database load tests
17 -
My estimations before devRant:
PM: how long will it take to implement this?
Me: one day, tops.
My estimations after devRant:
PM: how long will it take to implement this?
Me: one week, tops.
Thanks @dfox for making me so productive.3 -
Her "it's just a Web portal how long can it take"
Me "it's a completely custom content management system. It will take time."
Her "well how long then?"
Me "a good six/seven weeks. With a lot of overtime."
Her "oh don't be so dramatic, just use WordPress."9 -
Manager: so how long will feature A take?
Me: about a week.
Manager: and feature B?
Me: also a week.
Manager: how about C?
Me: another week
Manager: great! then we can finish the project in a week!
THAT'S NOT HOW MATH WORKS9 -
how i spend so long on this as a child i dont know, but i wouldn't change it for the world, damn this brings back memories.
4 -
Family reunion weekend. I'm just wondering for how long this will stay a 'family reunion weekend' before it turns into a 'first person tech support weekend'5
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my co-web devs just introduced me to css grids.
I feel so stupid for not knowing this, how long has this been here? HOW COME I MISSED OUT ON CSS GRIDS
12 -
Im trying to brute force a rar i made Long ago, sadly i have forgotten the Passwort.
This is how it looks, when you to run it on the length 8-16 at the Same time(all posibilitys).
lets see how Long it will take.
I say 7 Days at 100% cpu usage😂😂
8 -
So they are going to make me wait for how long my mobile number is!!
Okay, qualified for being my next rant! 😁
7 -
I just f*cking hate front-end. I don't care what it looks like as long as it's working how it should.16
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"How long will it take us to build X?"
"How long is a piece of string?"
Very similar indeed. Time estimates are insanely hard even with all the cards on the table, be sure to lay them all out before asking.1 -
Customer: “How many concurrent users can use this app?”
Me: “web tech is stateless. (Insert explanation) So concurrency is meaningless.”
Customer: “yeah but how many concurrent users?”
Me: “infinite as long as they aren’t interacting with the server.”
Customer: “but how many?”
Me: “400”9 -
I feel like devRant is now a study experiment to test how long a software can run without maintenance and how long people are willing to keep using it.16
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Why is it that people that can't program always seem to think they know how long it should take you?5
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They: "if you hang out with successful people a lot, you'll be successful too"
Me: *Joins devRant* "hey guys! how long before I'm a successful programmer?"7 -
Girlfriend's parents are talking about an issue with their printer in the next room. How long before I'm asked to fix it?3
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@dfox
the only thing i really miss on DevRant is a loading bar/circle on images and gifs.
im always there guessing how long it will take to load.3 -
CS 101
Doesn't matter how good u are or how long you've been doing it
Anything that can go wrong WILL go wrong -
Boss: how long would it take you to make an app with this tool you have never seen before?
Me: idk, I've never used that.
Boss: OK so how long?
Me:.. Uh.. 3 weeks?
Boss: you got 2 weeks. Start tomorrow.
Me:... OK then..
Inner me: why does he even ask?
...Fml6 -
Oh my god VMWare 15 finnaly added an aspect ratio lock for VM's!!!!!!
Only took how fucking long?!5 -
How the fuck have I not been using GO!
What bullshit wizardry is this!!!
I think I'm in fucking love!!
Sorry php, it's been a long long relationship, but I think I have a crush on this hamster. 🥰17 -
Oh yeah that shouldn't take too long right? I mean it's just the front end.
No shut your fucking dumb ass mouth up. It will take long. The front end is very complicated, and your stupid fucking ass who couldn't learn to code is in no position to estimate how long it will take. Do us all a favor and stick to the "business" side. Fucking incompetent idiot.
If you're not a programmer, when it comes to estimating how long a task will take. Just shut the fuck up. Just cause you work in this industry does not qualify you to estimate a task. Just shut the fuck up.1 -
So apparently this is how you get kids to learn coding.
Graphics after pretty nice but coding by dragging commands takes too long...
16 -
How I felt when discovering object oriented programming. I still have a long way to go but I'm starting to get it.
2 -
so now i have to explain to customers how long a 30 day trial is...
do you guys know maybe, just maybe... HOW LONG A 30 DAY TRIAL IS?!?!?10 -
!rant
With all the people around here ranting about their PM's, I'm really curious to see how a PMRant app would look like. What are they complaining about?
Devs that listen to music all day long and never want to be disturbed?
Engineers who talk in long, incomprehensible words?
...TDD taking too long?3 -
"Can you hear me?" – This is how my Skype conversation starts, interrupts and ends with long distance Client.2
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Started learning python couple of days back.
My feelings right now
How the fuck I miss this language for so long time?11 -
Me trying to generate a new ssh key after a long while
ssh keygen
ssh key-gen
*DuckDuckGo how to*
Oh!
ssh-keygen5 -
I one sat through an hour and a half long meeting about how to have a meeting. I missed a deadline because it went over.
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When your boss asks you if you know how to fix it and how long it is going to take.
Task Manager (not responding) -
Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......
Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.5 -
Visual Studio - How da fuck can a IDE take so long to load? Like shit man, the time VS loads I have a days work on Xcode already.7
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"How long it takes to complete a task"
A slightly exaggerated illustration of why I enjoy coding alone ^^
2 -
Holy shit! How come nobody told me I can long press an image on devRant to save it?!? I've been taking screenshot of images I like this whole time..6
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Yes, I will definitely consider that Microsoft.
Windows is such a mess... Fucking hate it. Let's see for how long this fresh install will keep its shit together -.-
11 -
How long will it take till an AI creates "aiRant" where neural networks and AIs are writing rants about us? :-(2
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i don't know graphql
but the schema.graphql file is over 100 000 lines long and lags intellij
how bad is this?5 -
Genuinely thought "CLI" meant Command Line Interface. Only just realised it means Common Language Infastructure. How have I been a dev for this long :(10
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Did you know chrome on Android has a dark theme????
**gasps**
Why didn't anybody tell me that? I missed out for so long!... Actually how long has this even been out?
Either way, good discovery!18 -
How long can you code continuously without any break? Occasionally I can code for hours but usually I need frequent little breaks. :/10
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Hey guys, I was wondering how much you're paid per month, how long have you been a dev and where you're from.
Personally, FR here paid 1500€ ($1700) +- for 3 years XP.59 -
I just hate it when a co-worker says "AS LONG AS IT WORKS. It doesn't matter how you code it as long as it outputs what the client/user wants. They don't check how you code it anyway" *facepalm*
We effin' follow standards so that it will be convenient for everybody!
Bad code is still bad code if you don't follow standards even if it works.4 -
When you start a new job as the only iOS Software Engineer, and after 3 weeks your boss constantly asks “well, how long is that going to take?” ...
I really wish my response could be “as long as it takes you to find another iOS Engineer for me to work with” 🤬
1 -
For those of you iOS Swift developers, how long did it take to learn and have a decent app with database functionality, coming from a different programming language background?8
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WTH.... Did my laptop finally die and enter into a boot loop or is Windows Updating?
Either way FML.... How long should I wait?
6 -
Client asked how long it takes to build a website. As if everything takes the exact same amount of time.1
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How long till I can try again? Please, tell me! I'm dying to know!!
And I never got the verification code either.
---___---
7 -
This is how i setup my laptop after my long journey of paying.
I used it for gaming, rendering designs and development. 😍😍😍
7 -
How many times do I need to tell you, markdown does not convert a single linebreak to a new paragraph.
STOP WRITING LINES THAT ARE MORE THAN 300 CHARACTERS LONG IN A MARKDOWN FILE HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO REVIEW THAT.9 -
!rant
how long do you guys code per day?
being a student i have now extreme difficulties in time management😐
need some advice...9 -
Run this command in your friend's terminal and watch the show...
echo "exit" >> ~/.bashrc
See how long it takes then to figure out what's going on.10 -
I found a bug.... it's in production for a long long time... I wrote it while optimizing some legacy code....
FUCK.... how do you feel when you discover a bug in production created by you?6 -
That feeling where you give in to the temptation to answer a StackOverflow question and then wait to see how long it takes to get 20 downvotes.6
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PM: How long do you think this will take...
Me: When does it need to be done?
PM: good question.... last Tuesday...
Me: ... -_- -
I still do exist, long time no see, fellow Devs! How is it going?
Didn't posted here in long time. Anything new relevant? I just started studying at an university. Hoping to post again here.14 -
How long do you guys stay at a job before switching? Whether due to pay reasons/lack of interest/etc?14
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I need a vacation. More importantly, I need money to take said vacation.
Side note, how the fuck do Europeans afford to take super long vacations.33 -
What’s your best answer to “how long will it take you to find and fix that bug?”
It drives me fucking nuts!
“I don’t know (ffs), could be ten minutes, could be ten weeks.” - that’s by default right know, but that’s not always appropriate.
You guys have maybe analogies that managers understand ?7 -
Never new setting up a mail server could be a huge pain 😭
Two days still no luck... Let's see how long it takes13 -
Business: how long would this pile of vague tasks that are not fully defined, and whose requirements we don't even know, take to finish?4
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Content strategy expert: How long would it take to program an SVG animation intro video
Me: I'm not sure I've never programmed one before.(still teaching myself)
Content expert: iS it even possible?
Me: yeah all things are possible in programming ;)
Content expert: so then how long would it take
Me: no.
Content expert: but wouldn't it be easier if...
Me: no, go away2 -
Got promoted to a managerial position recently. How you guys with a similar experience have transitioned from coding all day long to leading fellow coders?6
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I guess this is not necessarily a dev question but ...
To those who had a burnout / depression how did you manage to pull through ? How long was the process for you ?9 -
How long do you think code reviews should be? Ours can run from anywhere between 10 minutes to 4 hours4
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How long a Java method name can be?
I am very very angry right now.
(Source link, in case if anyone is interested: https://git.io/vAtvL)
2 -
Pm: we need to add a feature to the app, how long will it take you?
Me: what is this "feature"?
Pm: we still polishing the idea, how long will it take you to add a feature to the app?
Me: bitch wtf? Get back to work!! -
Is there a scientific term for *that* window of time where you feel totally unproductive before or after a call/standup? How long is it for you?5
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I just love how companies would go to any length to motivate you to work more!
As long as it doesn't cost them more than peanuts..13 -
anytime someone has a request and tells you how long it should take... run far far away!
"can you do this? should only take like an hour"2 -
Dream.
When you sketch out a plan for a new project with lots of awesome ideas! Then you see how long this will take xD -
Newbie here, how long did it take you to get a good handle in the language you code in (that pays your bills)?8
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Friends’ kids broke my iPhone screen. I had tempered glass but the screen underneath also shattered terribly. How long should I be able to continue using this?3
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How long should one stay in a new role before... Well.. You know... letting all the rants out off the closet?1
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I finally got a new hard drive, but I under estimated how long it would take to reinstall all my programs and environments for development...3
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New hire and haven't did anything other then look at the code base. How long did it take until you actually start contributing code at your first job?9
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Not sure how to feel.
Just landed on a stackoverflow querstion. Originated by myself 5 years ago. With a long discussion and a solution.
Sooo how the fuck I don't remember it at all ?3 -
How long can you work in a role with no potential that bores you shitless but pays an astronomical amount?15
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After a long long time,
Debugged something that blew away my mind on how it works internally..
DynamoDBMapper made my day today.
What could have been more better gift during the super special sweet valentine's week!!!!!
I ❤️ debugging.
Found my lost love and interest to patch up with my most loved one Miss "Programming" -
I saw a feed long before which described how to generate an image like this, Does anyone know how to do this?
7 -
Wonder how long time it will take until haveibeenpwned.com will be listed on it's on list of data breaches....
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How many of you have asked for a raise? How many have gotten it? How big was it? Did you leverage another job offer? How long did you work until you got it?10
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Chaosesqueteam left.
Nanos left.
Ostream left.
Alexanderr left.
Damn, I wonder how long it would be before I disappear. And how I will be remembered by those who still remain.15 -
It's been long. How have you been guys ? Life is pretty fucking shit right now. Hope you all are doing well.6
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Boss: how long would that feature take?
Me: About 2 weeks to implement and test.
Boss: hmm, can it be done it 1 week instead?
Me: .....3 -
Received this scam email, but honestly how long that email! those people are crazy mother fuckers.
1 -
Sometimes I wonder, when getting a notification for a month old rant, how can someone scroll down for that long?3
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Want to ask on how you guys overcame your burnout from coding, i think its been so long since i really got into coding like i used to before.13
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How do you background work in Android? Easy, just use one of the following (which may or may not work as expected depending on what version of Android it's running on, or how long it happens to run for, or what's in the background or foreground, or what triggers it, or what wind the direction is blowing in, or how long since you last gave a fuck)
background Service, or foreground Service, or IntentService, or AlarmManager, or JobScheduler, or WorkManager, or FUCK YOU ANDROID -
How has weed affected your ability to code short term and long term? And is there anyone who codes while high? What about CBD?7
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After 6 years of android I just rooted my samsung, how could I have missed the glory of root features for so long...2
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FUCK YOU EA. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRAPPY SELLOUT GAMES. HOW CAN YOU BE SO BAD AT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR SO LONG.10
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Hey ranters so have been doing this long course video tutorial on Node, and sometimes i just get bored cause some videos are very long. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this cause i want to learn as much as possible3
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Project Manager: "You have until x date, but how far off are you from finishing"
Me: "How long is it until x date, there is your answer"
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So how long before someone like @Jumpshot44 or our won @dfox reaches a million +1s on their profile?
@dfox @trogus what is the datatype you guys used, in other words, how much can fit?7 -
I've only just discovered the C comma operator. I don't know how I completely missed it for so long.2
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Just startet game developing (unity) on the side ! A time sink, but holy cow is it fun ! Any game devs out there?
How long did it take to master and how did you get startet ? -
So...
Just how long would it take to put a simple spa web app on Google play.
Any pitfalls I should watch out for?11 -
Any advice to how to get back my motivation? I love coding, but now I can't keep up my motivation long enough :(5
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Boss always asks how long it will takes to fix a production bug. I just say 2 hours no matter what.1
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Does anyone here knows (first hand) how long does it take the entire hiring process at Google in Europe?
From the first contact to the offer?
Thanks a lot6 -
Internal team changing specs because they don't understand how much work went into the project.
This is generally accompanied by the statement "that shouldn't take you very long." -
Do you guys do any sort of meal planning / prepping (based on caloric intake / macro nutrients)? If so how much time is usually spent on the plan itself, and how long in the kitchen? Also how did you come up with said plan?
23 -
So I'm going to have to give an estimate for how long this new project is going to take. It's about time I learn how to properly estimate projects. Or does the learning only happen with more experience? 🤔3
-
How long does it take for me to get replied on my email regarding the free stickers?
(Im new here, just askin)3 -
That moment when gulp run is as long as one epoch when training my neural network. How did we arrive here?
-
How does everyone feel about Visual Studio 2017? I think it's better than 2015 but has a long way to go.
Thoughts?2 -
To have back all the hours between how long a project should take and how long it actually takes, and get paid for them, then retire and sledgehammer my computer, and do something less stressful.
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!dev
I got myself a french press yesterday.
How the fuck did I live without this thing for so long?10 -
Sitting and waiting for my programming paradigms lab... feeling really anxious...
How long does it take until you’re more confident with coding?4 -
Your freelance client wants you to build a Microsoft Teams clone, how much are you charging and how long would it take you?10
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Manager took too long to decide how he wants the new project.
- Estimate time for this project: 3 months
- Time I have to do it, 1 month.
YAY!! -
When was the last time you dealt with an evasive memory leak in JavaScript? How complicated was it and how long did it take to resolve?1
-
I'm trying to port that Python project (https://github.com/rg3/youtube-dl/) to Java without even knowing how to print "Hello world". That's going to take a long long time6
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Just curious, but how long do you guys spend programming a day. This isn't counting working time although you can include working time just declare it first!7
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You count distance in songs rather with km/cm?
That's cute, you know for how long have been working at my place? - Half of Frank Zappa's discography -
What do you answer when you are asked how long it will take you to find the cause of a bug that no one has idea why is happening?2
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how to manage estimates of release, not getting heck of it at all from long time,. specifically, for android app.2
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How long does it take to copy a file in Vista? Yeah, I don't know either, I'm still waiting to find out.1
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How many people on devRant are skilled with pentesting / Offensive Security? How long did it take you to understand it? How do you keep yourself from crossing over white hat territory into grey hat territory?3
-
Rate your company / co-workers, how intersting the projects are! (1 to 10), and write down how long have you been working for them.
I'm really curious to see how satisfied people are with the social part of the company they work with.4 -
Have I been living in a cave? How long has "Gradle Cloud Services" been around? Pros/Cons? Is it the death of Jenkins?1
-
For all those years of using github, did you ever notice the right end?
After how long? Our support dept has been using, Engineering dept we're so surprised.
2 -
How long should /does it take to get a promotion or a rase?
I am working for 1.5 years and currently on minimum wage still.6 -
Has anybody ever had a question closed on stack overflow? How long before a review usually happens?2
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Does anyone have any helpful tips for developing in react native for Android? Because I'm entirely frustrated with how long it takes to make negative progress.5
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How long will it take me to learn laravel? I feel like starting in a big bucket filled with darkness.6
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Its fixed. Your welcome.
Don’t ask me to do something and then complain because it takes too long and then redirect me on six other tickets.
I am a tank that will crush problems no matter how long it takes and still do your other six tickets. -
Unable to give detailed explanation of how my code works. Like why do I need to explain as long it works 😏4
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Love having ssh access to lab computers. Running a grid search with 15 folds for 468 candidates. Let's see how long this takes...
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How have I not known about brace completion for vim this long?! I’m so happy yet feel so dumb #LifeOfaDeveloper
http://vim.wikia.com/wiki/...3 -
Any long time ps users ?
How does ps3 3d games like uncharted 3 compare with new tech ps4 vr games ? Which is better experience ?2 -
About how long before the messed up crap disappears and life is beautiful again like half of the new version of 2018 on Chicago
-
You can infer how long ago a developer started in the industry by whether or not the use the term “parm.”13
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any remote ranters? is it common for a multi-national company with remote devs to have an email communication guide stipulating things like how long your email should be and how clean your inbox should be?5
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How long does a week in devRant last? I mean the weekly rant shouldn't it get changed every week or what?4
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Was browsing ebay looking for thinkpad, found used Thinkpad X230 for sale, seller claims 1-2 hours of battery life, anyone here has X230, how long does the battery last normally, also how is the linux compatibility?
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From the people here who already got free swag and live outside the US, how did you formatted your address and how long did it took you to get a response?1
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When you get work assigned to you. Are you asked for how long it will take you to complete the work or does your manager give you a deadline to complete the work? Note: Manager was a senior developer but now a manager so he states he knows how long it might take and sets deadlines.8
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How long is the "longest" EF core context you've seen ?
Without any additional methods.
Just DbSets and OnModelCreating.
Mine is 1338 code lines right now6 -
Do you type with palms down or up?
If you write with palms up (correct posture) how long it takes until your hands are a bit tired?4 -
Fcuk windows with its Creators update which takes forever. Would be useful to have for each update an estimation of how long its installing will take.14
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What's the most annoying thing you hear from a client ?
Mine is "It shouldn't take too long" referring to changing how the users see data -
My people in the UK, preferably in Scotland, how long did it take for your stickers to arrive? I've been waiting maybe 2 weeks now3
-
How is the weekend going, lads and gals?
Most likely, I am going to play badminton after a long time
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/9359125/19 -
Amazon just launched DocumentDB, a clone of MongoDB.
I personally waited for this for a long time. How about you?4 -
FAQ,
How long does it usually take to ship the dev rant stickers (far east Asia)?
Is it rude to ask for a stress ball for my 300++ post ?2 -
Just noticed (not sure why it took me this long to check) an API is available (duh).
Wonder how many recruiter data harvesters are listening right now 🤑 -
How long does it take to someone to master backend web development with either in spring or asp.net?4
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Do we have people here who have a successful IT company?
If yes, I would like to hear your stories.
How you came up with it?
How was the beginning?
What were the struggles and how did you fix them?
How did you get your first client?
How long did it take you?5
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