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Client: is it possible to make my computer unhackable, untraceable, and make it to were it can never get viruses?
Me: yes!
Client: How?
Me: Just don't go on the internet.16 -
"Is it just me or is Youtube down?"
YES
IT'S JUST YOU
THEY PICKED YOU OUT OF A BILLION USERS
AND TOOK IT DOWN
Sorry, good night.17 -
Client: Why is this not working?
Me: Because the feature expect a...
Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.
Me: Ok...
Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?
Me: 🤦🏽♂️
Client: I need a response!
Me: It is not working because...
Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...
Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.
Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...
Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...
Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)12 -
my mother brought me a external hard drive.. she asked me can i check what is wrong with it.. i opened it up and i just began to laugh
9 -
Colleague: "What is a pl file?"
Me: "Oh thats a perl script"
Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"
Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"
Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"
Me:" -_- what year is this ??"25 -
Friend : This is our logo for the site you are building for us.
Me: Wtf!! This is just a picture with text on it, do you have copyright of this picture?
Friend : who cares, we found it on google and we liked it.
Me: It may create trouble later
Friend: nothing...Just us it, we don’t have $150 for logo design
Me:🧐
After few weeks
Friend: Hey best, we have problem with logo, there is this guy who keep emailing us about copyright, any advice
Me: you know the solution the $1501 -
client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.
me: ok, how is it wrong?
client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.
me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.
client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.
me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?
clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.
repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.
client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?
me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.3 -
me: "ah, my scraper is nearly done - just need some final tweaks"
coworker: "JuSt FrOm LoOkInG aT yOuR ScReEn A fEw TiMeS tOdAy, I cAn TeLl YoU iT wOnT wOrK"
me, infuriated by his idiot mentality but not trying to start anything: "ah, its fine, I've already scraped 3000+ entities"
coworker: "but it wont work."
me: "but... its working..."
coworker: "but it won't work."
me: "ok."
sometimes its just better to just affirm the narcessistic assholes. make sure they are right.6 -
Just set up a Vim profile on my keyboard. Is it going to help me any? Probably not. But it does look cool!
13 -
Manager: Make the page look like Apples.
Me: What is it you like about their page?
Manager: I don't know, it just makes me feel good.3 -
Me (refactoring bosses code):
Is this worth it?
let me work it...
I'll put this thing down, flip it, and reverse it
Boss:
did you just Missy Eliot my code?
Me:
Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym tup I1 -
FUUUUCK!!! I just saw a dead pixel in my retina display
The fact that it is retina tells me that it isn't just one pixel.
I fucking hate my life right now2 -
fb messenger stopped working after the update, it just shows a white screen... it made me realise i don't even care, family and friends contact me there but ... Dobby is a free elf now4
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I don't care what codestyle you want. I even can deal with codestyle I detest. (Looking at you, Vertical Alignment)
There is pretty much only one hard requirement:
It must be enforceable via autoformatting.
I won't manually edit a file because you have a preference.3 -
My manager just left the company to become a independent game developer. His game is also available in steam as early access.
He just became extra cool to me.
And he is using unreal engine for it.
That made him extra cooler to me 😁3 -
This is a conversation my friend and I had.
Me: let me just delete this file
*rm -rf filename*
Frnd: what does the rf do?
Me: Don't know man I just do it coz the memes tell me to.6 -
Me: *gives 8 story points*
PO: Why is it 8 points? this is just copy-pasting and should not take more than 2 hours.19 -
Is it just me that is addicted to the feeling when you solved a big problem with the code and everything just works afterwards? Its such a nice feeling!!3
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Me:
Totally riffing to my new playlist....
the ideas are just flowing.....
Code flying...
changing in my brain....
I think I've got I might have it.....
...... RING RING ITS THE MOTHERFUCKING BOSS,
Boss:
Why is the whole website down?
Me: WTF, looks fine here, all logs are clear.
Boss: I just got an email saying the whole thing is fucked. Stop everything and fix it now.
Me: but we just agreed dev is taking priority over any support issues within sla and I've checked from everywhere there are no issues, just data issues probably from user error.
Boss: Just get it back and figure it out!!!!! Why are you being difficult?
Me: okay whatever, let's patch each of these shits.
COULDVE SENT THIS ANYWHERE BUT NOW MY IDEA IS GOOOONEEE!!!!!! NULL FUCKING DATA FIELD ON A SINGLE FUCKING EMAIL....FRAAAAACKKK THIS4 -
I don't know what it is but, isnit just me or does anyone else just find writing JavaScript really fun?
No... Just me? Ok cool14 -
I was just testing the Postfix server on one of my mailers, for the hell of it.. EHLO, STARTTLS, all good. Then comes the mail submission part.
MAIL FROM test@nixmagic.com
Connection closed by foreign host.
Right after I say mail from, it just closes the connection! Is it just me or does this feel like the server says to me "fuck off"? :')18 -
Is it just me OR people on devRant are less cruel than Stackoverflow when someone posts something irrelevant?9
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Client: The image upload functionality is broken!!
Me: just tested it, works fine.
Client: no I'm trying to upload this image and it says It cannot complete the request.
Me: hmmm...
Client: does the fact that the image is 36MB has something to do with it?
Me:
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Is Ubuntu have different timezones with Windows?
Always need to adjust time after switching.
*Is it just me?20 -
Am I the only one who doesn't judge a programmers contributions by commits or change history?
Frequently I'm always near the bottom of contributors, because I don't make a million commits when it's broken. And I don't commit lines that will likely disappear in later commits. I like to finish a function, test it, check it, rework, and then make a "made function()" commit, as apposed to:
"Wrote function()"
"Wrote unit tests for function()"
"Fixed error"
"Code cleanup"
"Style guide compliance"
"Reworked function()"
etc.
Sorry that I keep my commit history clean and ensure it builds.7 -
Heroku Free Dyno Hours (In theory)
-----------
Me: My hours is out
Heroku: Sorry fam they have to die
(force slep until next month)
Me: nuu-
-----------
Heroku Free Dyno hours (Actual)
-----------
Me: My hours is out
Heroku: I don't care dude, nothing will happen. Just leave it as it is9 -
Hurr durr master-slave is racist blacklist is racist robot is racist ('cause in some language it apparently means "slave"...?)
just let me coode ffs
8 -
Me in school: Math? When do I need know those details? I can look them up and just code it.
Me in high school: Computer science is way too math-y. I want to code!
Me coding php: Just make it work.
Me coding typescript: Just make it work.
Me coding scala: Just make it ... what ... how do I make it work!?!
Me asking stackoverflow: How do I do X in scala some functional programming stuff in mind in order to keep immutability.
Somebody way smarter than I: "In scalaz, a function A => A is called an endomorphism and is a Monoid whose associative binary operation is function composition and whose identity is the identity function"
Me now: Fuck my old arrogant self.1 -
Holy shit, it just hit me.
I'm an IT engineer who's irl also doing woodworking. And masonry.
Is this a dream life or what6 -
I just think about Microsoft and Apple and how fucked up their shit is and it makes me feel better.1
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Curious. Who uses .jpeg instead of .jpg and is that because your software is defaulted that way. It just bugs me.14
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I always love it when a manager who has no coding background tells me to "just do this" without ever letting me do any research. Just because you see it in you favorite app does not mean that feature is trivial.1
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Is it just me or does it seem like everyone is "making their own game" but they mean they got opengl to render a triangle.4
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Anyone know what the fucking outcome of clicking either these buttons is going to be? The button I clicked to get to this modal said "Buy Season £7.49"
3 -
I think I'm in heaven, I just discovered this feature in windows, it is light weight but it has fully featured Vim which is enough for me to get excited ...
11 -
Manager: this feature is not working correctly
Me: yes it is
Manager: no it isn't, change it to do X
Me: but X doesn't account for half of the logic
Manager: I don't care just get it done
(1 day later)
Manager: hey, the changes you made aren't accounting for some of the logic we need. Change it back immediately!
Me: ...3 -
Anybody else just stare at the monitor for a good 10 minutes while programming contemplating their existence or is it just me?2
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Is it just me or with every Dev rant avatar the males seem angry/annoyed and the females look worried?7
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Is it just me or do other people think those tutorials you run across on YouTube where it is just a screen recording and background music are super annoying. I would like at least a little explanation other than you typing in notepad.2
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I now have 4 monitors at my workstation and all it has done is convince me that any amount over 3 is just unnecessary.2
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Me: Hey what's the default password for this?
Classmate: password?
Me: yeah the password. What is it by default?
Classmate: no that's it. Just "password"
Me: :/ -
Just got a new job.
All good, really enjoying it.
Only problem is, the canteen smells of chips and it's making me very hungry... Water for me :/9 -
How hard is it to tell me what kind of error do you receive when a program doesn’t work?!
Just telling me ”it gives an error” doesn’t give me much to work with.. -
Anyone else annoyed by their scumbag brain that is hard to please but gets content easily?
Or is it just me?2 -
Is it just me or is every app out there just a giant piece of shit riddled with bugs now? Did every company fire all their good devs and testers? It’s all fucking trash3
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I've refrained from commenting on which IDE is best and which isn't, what simply works for me is eclipse. So far it handles stuff for me pretty nicely... until today.
Look at this screenshot, can you spot the wtf? Like, SRSLY, WTF.... Might it really be just that DOT at the end or is it just the dot concatenated at the end of the error message?
13 -
Friend: Hey I am rebasing my commits and got stuck into a weird window and i was not able to come out of it?
Me: It is vi LMAO. Just press `:wq`
Friend: Wait I'm pressing the same but still nothing happened, it is displaying on my screen?
... After 200 messages...
Me: Just close the computer and I am going to Himalayas. Peace6 -
Is it just me or does the search find a very limited set of rants for everyone? Maybe it finds only the most recent ones?5
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Is it just me who's never been prevented from working by windows update?
(While working in windows that is)2 -
Firefox Quantum broke mouse gestures of any kind in Linux by forcing the context menu to come up on right mouse down, instead of up.
Lots of people love Quantum, but without a viable mouse gestures extension, it's unusable for me. I downgraded back to 56 until this issue is resolved.3 -
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it extremely satisfying completing a successful git push -u origin master?
-
Yay finally summer started
Ye no fuck that
After being "migrated" into a newer smaller office and getting another team member we are now three people on about 5 square meters of space.
Another good thing is that we don't have an air conditioning unit in the new room and gained a few more PCs.
Oh and did I mention that we are on the sunny side of the building now.
Basically we are working in Satan's Asshole now. Good thing is that I am working on a thermometer now.
35 degrees Celsius is still alright isn't it?
Oh and our fan broke today.3 -
Your code is like your face! Looking at it often it makes me laugh... But sometimes I just want to punch the shit out of it!1
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ES2015 classes in JS
It is just syntactic sugar and i always feel like i need to transpile it in my head to what it actually is just not to loose perspective and make some hard to debug error.
It feels like language is trying to cheat me into forgetting how it works.2 -
I don't like laptops, it just doesn't feel the same, too small, keyboard is meh I dunno... I like when the screen is in eye level but keyboard is lower.
Is it just me?
PC with 2/3 displays feels more natural to me.2 -
Me (waiting for a torrent download): this is gonna take a while. [ISP] is being slow again.
GF: Why not just force download it?1 -
Is it just me or is the first question of the gcse computer science exam the hardest question in the world?
7 -
Is it just me that think it's hilarious that 'devops' autocorrects to Devils – with a capital D an all?
-
KDE is pissing me off!! So many fucking bugs. I used to like it but it just gets buggier every time and now its just a pain to use it.
What window manager is a solid alternative that is convenient and STABLE? I've used Gnome before but also had some issues. Currently don't wanna go with i3. I am using Manjaro what would you recommend me?8 -
I just got a ticket asking me to pull a 'smart' report for a customer 🤦♂️
it scares me someone thinks this is an actual thing...4 -
Is it just me, or does everybody regularly have to hit F5 on YouTube after the first 3-6 seconds when it stops playing? I have this in one out of 4 videos I think. hugely annoying
The weird thing about it is that I remember YouTube having this bug for a few months back in 2013 or so (hence the 'is it just me'? )1 -
Is it just me or dont links in Devrant work¿ and since it gets cutoff I cant look for that link myself.5
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Is it just me or Jira has been getting so much worse over time, that I now don't even want to touch it?9
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Is it just me or is Samsung always a year after with their update when it comes to OS? Next phone Will be pixel, all about that vanilla tho.4
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Is it just me or do software developers get the shit end of the stick in absolutely every project?4
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WTF... it works half the time and fails the other half.. is it planned just to drive me mad?! uuhhh..3
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Is it just me or is there a serious problem with devRant not loading more rants once you reach the bottom2
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Why is every website start doing the whole popup thing again?! Is it just me or was it better a few years ago...2
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Going for a run but still thinking about how I can refactor the code I just wrote. Can't stop thinking about it. Is it just me?4
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Is it just me or is it just really hard to set up and test frontend JavaScript? 🤔
Karma + Mocha + Chai + whatever
is a pain
And it doesn't look very pretty..3 -
So remember when we said 1.1 would be the last release, and then we said that 1.2 would be the absolute last we promise this time release?
Well buckle up buckaroos because 1.3 will be the last release. -
Is it just me or feeling the imposter syndrome, and blogging about it is super trendy at the moment ?3
-
I get a chill or an eerie feeling when there are more programs open than needed and I go ahead and kill them.
Is it just me or happens to others too?2 -
Is it just me or anybody else doesn't like the React render method. I really think it messes up the code readability.2
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Sometimes while in my office I just want to scream! Not out of frustration, but just to wake myself up to get motivated to start my work for the day. Is it just just me?1
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Does anyone else just hate putting - webkit-transform:translateZ(0)
in their CSS to avoid flickering of some elements on your website? Or is it just me!? -
is it me, or does Microsoft just make everything either harder, or more annoying that it needs to be?...2
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is it just me or do other guys too just randomnly type whatever keys on the keyboard and Ctrl+backspace it to type something of meaning.
kinda like just stretching my fingers for keyboard.3 -
Is it just me? Or was Chrome acting really weird these past couple days? (I mean weird for Chrome, obviously)1
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Finally there is a dradlocks hair style. It didn't feel like me without them. *just noticed the hairstyle, didn't know it was available before
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The thing I dislike about Devrant is that our rants end up on Google. I know that you can use it on the web but I wish we just had the privacy of our rants just being in the community.9
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Is it just me or the last season of black mirror was just the worst??? It was less scary and more invested in being politically correct and neutral...
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got employed as web developer, had to make an app for test, so i made simple PWA, you can search videos and you have related videos on the side, basically search videos and watch them with simple list of related videos on the side.
idk how i ended up being tester and bug hunter in this huge ass pile of spaghetti extravaganza.
all i do is wasting my talent on hunting and resolving bugs on a legacy-code apps, don't remember when was last time i actually wrote some feature, oh yeah i do, last month but that was refactoring/fixing.
so i am stuck on weird tech stack someone build with shovel, feels like they were having that famous golden hammer.
what interests me is something i will never do at this company and still i am trying to help them to fix the app to have better product.
It is hard when you feel like you are third and last person in whole company that cares about actual product, rest of devs just fixing things with quick workarounds, hacks and lousy patches.
I really tried, I did, I was excited as I saw opportunity to one up the product but got stuck with the rest of the devs fixing bugs instead of fixing the whole codebase, I tried to introduced improvements but we don't have time cause fixing bugs means happy customers, better codebase takes more time and means impatient customers are unhappy!
I think it is time to sail away.
So folks, any thoughts or feelings?1 -
May someone explain to me why it is that we don't collectively just put IE down by simply not supporting it anymore instead of working around it?6
-
So, is it just me or are the numbers of newbie developers who can actually read error messages dwindling?
-
Is it just me or is android development just a pain in the ass? Ive done universal windows development before and it was great, but android just seems like a mess to me2
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Is it just me, or does objective c look like a bag of smashed assholes? It looks clumsy and verbose.3
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Just got myself into Slack
My laptop is trying to handle the desktop app when im also working ... well ..
Sometimes the whole laptop stops responding
Is it just me?5 -
Does anyone use different notification sound for different workspaces on Slack or is it just me 🤔14
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Is it me or do other new users find it frustrating having to get 10± just to change your profile pic6
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Is it just me or is devrant a little bit slow to load rants. If so why is that? What should be done to make it better?6
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No it’s ok you can power trip on me that’s fine, it’s just now your delivery is going to be months late. So who’s fault is it really?
Fuck you - fight me bitch. -
I haven't received my hacktoberfest tee yet... Does anyone else haven't got it or is it just only me?3
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So is it just me, or does nodes have a huge learning curve. (The lack of online tutorials is not helpful either).
Any suggestions to help an imbecile like me to learn it better (especially connecting nodejs to client side apps)9 -
Is it just me, or have you also had your teammates getting less responsive once you're on your notice period?4
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Is it just me or someone else also remembers the "Download MP3" feature in YouTube a few years ago? Was it a failed experiment?7
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Is it just me, or does it sound like some people's accents say: "hatechtml." Those people probably also say "Jaah vuh script." Kinda funny....1
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Is it just me, or are Laravel model queries super slow, especially when you're loading relationships?8
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So I’m not having too much trouble with my project. Does that mean I’m doing something too easy or have I actually just absorbed the knowledge I’ve been reading?
I’ve never actually used EF Core before and I thought this would be harder, and more time consuming.2 -
Visual Studio's intellisence recommending me NOT to use
ISomeService = new Service() and just Service coz the latter is faster (these are non-DI services)
is giving me a wierd anxiety. I'd prefer to stick to exposing Interfaces just as a convention but the constant💡is killing me :v
//I know the actual performance difference is neglible, but retarded mind still focuses on it even if I dont want it to2 -
I can't attach any image now and it keeps on loading forever. :/
(Is it just me? Maybe because of slow connection?) -
Does anyone uses GoCD over Jenkins?
Is it really better or just a nice homepage?
The interface remembers me CircleCI.2 -
Is it just me or is encoding in 15.9.3 broken AGAIN when using .editorconfig to set the charset?.......
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Is it just me or is anyone else not feeling very welcome if they have a jobinterview but the person doing the interview isn’t smiling the tiniest bit even. Just dead seriousness.4
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Is it just me or anyone else here have just as equal number of incomplete projects as that of complete??1
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I just got into a project that uses GWT (in an attempt to rebuild it in React). Is it me or is Java development environment stuck in early 2000s?6
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If the words “Mucmullan Cabbage” ring the bell, then whatever it is you need, I have it. Just contact me.
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It is just me or anybody thinks that dynamic content creation in Android is difficult than other platforms?
-
It is 39 deg F and it is snowing. I was out in the snow for a while, but it is also lightning. So I decided not wanting death I came inside. I was talking to a coworker about the snow.
ed: That is hail.
me: It is thicker, but not hard.
I just looked at ed for a minute realizing what I had just said.
me: You realize what I just said?
ed: Yeah... -
Is it just me, or are the Jinja2 docs shit?
Won't tell me how to sort my JSON file via a JSON variable. Fucking irritating. -
Is it just me who finds coding so relaxing? In all the messy crap flying around it's just me and code..my precious!
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