For some, Jan 01 1970 was just the first day of a new year. For others, it marked the beginning of time.

Hired a new backend Dev. He writes a script and sends it for testing...
Tester: "It's not working..."
Backend Dev: Goes to Mongo and deletes the tester's whole profile...

I cant control my laughter every time I remember this incident...He claimed it was a mistake, I don't think that it was a mistake...the tester had it coming...
"It's not working" that's all he says every time...I mean at least give me something to start with...!

One time my co-worker put a tiny piece of tape inside the USB receiver of my mouse which apparently makes any USB device stop working. It took me a while to figure out why my damn mouse wasn't working even though everything was properly plugged in and it had new batteries.

When I found the tiny piece of tape I was instantly knew who it was and it was pretty funny.

Dear diary,

Today I sold my soul... I hacked my way around a bug instead of refactoring. It was a moment of weakness... I... I was not given enough time....

I am sorry...

"My think isn't working!"
"Let me see."
*starts program, error message appears, clicks X*
"What was that?"
"Don't know, appears every time, I never read it."

I've always made this joke, but it happened for real.

There was a existing bug in our machine for a very long time. So long that the validation engineer now treats it as a feature and they raised a issue when the bug was fixed :/

As usual, I woke up at 6, got ready and did all my usual stuff.

Then at 6:15 I was beautifying my Python script because the code was unattractive.

I swear it took 5 minutes! No more than five minutes, but when I checked the time it was 7:10! Why must this happen all the time?

It's just like when I'm sleeping. I'll wake up, close my eyes for two seconds, and then it's magically been an hour.

The first time I submitted it it was 40 ms. I was sad because of the slowness and I kept trying to improve it until I finally did it.

Learned Python by working 6 year with it. The first tool I made in my spare time was a porn playback helper.

Years ago, when I was a young developer, I was asked to design and implement a complex but usefull feature. It took me some time, but I was really proud of my creation. It passed all the tests and was approved for production deployment. However, while the code was deployed, the customer asked for it to remain disabled for a while.

Months passed, other features were added often breaking the one I created. But I was relentless. I've fixed it every time. I've kept it ready for great launch...

After a few years, when I was already working on a different project, I received an email about my feature. It turned out that everyone simply forgot about it. You might expect that it was finally turned on... Nope, that email was a kind request to remove that feature from code.

The best time to buy bitcoin was when it was released

The second best time was a few years ago when it was only like $200/btc

The third best time was probably last year before they went up 650% in value

The worst time is apparently whenever I buy in

Sometimes you wish life was like computer, so every time some fuck happens you can just fix it or reinstall it

did you ever ever do like this ? i'm pretty sure it was wasting time. :)

Made a app in react native when it was on .42 version.
By the time I finished developing it, react native was on .54 version with many components had deprecated.

Ffffffffffuuuuuuuuckkkkkk!!!!!!!!

Facebook why you make changes so fast.

*Crying in corner*

Ex-coworker of mine fixed this bug a week after the site was launched and has gathered several thousand users in database.

Yep its exactly what you think it is, each time one user would update its infos, it would update his infos to all the users in the database.

Luckily I was not in charge of the project in that time, so it was really fun to watch how everyone's name was changing every couple of minutes for a whole week :D

Two people I know just got fired from their jobs because they were working on a project on their free time. One of them got a 10000$ fine aswell.

Apparently there was a small hidden clause in their contract that stated that any side projects, even on your free time, was strictly forbidden. Because it could be seen as competition.
Now that was, imo, a bit fucked up.

this one time my coworker was having a hard time debugging a javascript function so he set it to alert("kill me pls") and that somehow got into production.

we recieved many support emails from concerned customers that day

Probably the intern who, while a decent and intelligent guy for the most part, thought it was increasingly hilarious to keep putting random cat GIFs somewhere in the product with each PR he made.

First time "ok, very funny, but you can't do that in production software, don't do it again."

The third time around the "joke" was wearing a little thin.

Eventually a script was written so that, every time he made a PR, he'd get "emailed" one of a few pre-defined messages from a random member of the team a few minutes later, telling him to remove it and stop pissing about...

everyone in class was so silent when suddenly one guy pops up and says:

" 'TROJAN' VIRUS? I got it! you know? the trojan horse and shit?"

we all laughed
not because of him just realizing it now

but because we all slapped our faces at the same time, it was kinda funny.

After a long time in .NET and JavaScript, I have returned to Java today. I was quite happy about it for a few minutes!

Spent half an hour trying to figure out why the css isn't working only to realise chrome was caching it the whole time

*Programers can't spell*

In a previous job, I once spelled inquiries as enquiries. It was a service and it was used in many places throughout the app. Somehow, it made it through peer review and even my teammates started using the misspelled word.

I didn't realize my mistake till months later and by that time I thought it was too much work to fix it (or I was too lazy).

I'm pretty sure we even misspelled it for the on-screen texts.

Moral of the Story: know how to spell shit

I once ran into a CAPTCHA that was hard coded with a simple math problem. Every time it asked what 5 + 1 is.

I had an old rant somewhere about the most unproductive meeting I’ve had.

It was when I joined a new team. I was asked to hold a meeting to solve the issue of why nothing gets done on time and nobody showed up to the meeting on time including the manager.

Just uninstalled Tinder.. It was taking away my devRant time😏

Had to built a "theme color" switcher for a website. Total waste of time, but the desktop app had it and customer was convinced it was a key feature.

I have been reading devRant for a few months and decided it was time to say hello. You guys seem like a cool community and I am happy to be apart of it now.

Looking at code you wrote a long time ago and you can't figure out parts of it...leaves you like:" Damn I was a genius"

Who the fuck thought this was a good order of putting time period indicators in their UI?

How is it even sorted? Not alphabetically, not in duration.

- Did someone tested it on our test machines?
- No there was no time to do this.
*preparing for nuclear fallout from customer in 3..2..1..*

Story #1: So I took a month of parental leave. And was planning to extend it a little longer to deal with my final exams. I was planning to spend lots of quality time with my wife and newborn son. Little did I know... It turns out that out of 5 OoO weeks I was looking forward I actually had 3 at most. The rest I've spent working remotely as I was insisted to deploy a brand new and poorly tested feature to PROD 2 days before my paternity leave. So I spent 2 weeks debugging things in PROD. Remotely. Needless to say that did suck.

Story #2: After story #1 I've learnt my lesson. This summer I took 3 weeks annual leave to renovate my apartment. I asked to not to be disturbed unless there's an emergency. And an emergency it was. One of our app users had a planned hi-load batch job lasting for 2-3 months. Hundreds of thousands of items had to be created and processed. It turns out the _processing_ algo had some flaws and was acting out. I was called out and asked to assist. I knew this sort of debugging is going to take a lot of my time so this time I put my conditions on the table: I will assist but I'll extend my leave by 1.5 the time I spend working now. They took the deal. Instead of 3 weeks I had 5 weeks of vacation!

I don't care that much about my salary. I prefer to exchange it for my time off hence I didn't ask for compensations.

Bottom line: NEVER EVER underestimate or undersell your time and effort. You are a valuable asset and if the team/client needs you on your day off -- make it count. Your time off is YOUR time. Never forget it.

The first time I learnt about regex and used it. It was magical.

I just went to a job interview and ended up declining their offer & I said thank you for the opportunity and their reply was, "I wish you hadn't wasted our time." It made me cry and it was SO unprofessional.

Every time I encounter "404 Not Found - nginx" when I was really young, I thought the website was hacked by Nginx(ngingks). When I got to uni and found out what it was and how to say it, I just facepalmed. Even until now, every time I read it on job posts, I still say ngingks in my head and laugh hahaha

This one time I developed some useful plugins and a command line interface for the platform we built at work.

Then when it was done I thought it had some good value so I created a pull request to donate it to the platform. That same day I got 3 complaints that my pull request did not conform to conventions and that there was no ticket for it and they complained about the fact that it made their jobs harder.

It was in fact the last time I developed something for work in my spare time.

I was working from home and had a long skype meeting. It was boring and I knew I wouldn't need to say anything the whole time. At the same time my girlfriend was in the mood so we did it on my desk with one headphone in my ear in case somebody asked me a question.

Definitely not the worst meeting, but the most memorable for sure.

So, I set up my computer after moving and settling in.

Turns out all the jostling killed the pump on my water cooler 🙁 It now sounds like an unmaintained soviet train at full speed, and starts burning up. Poor thing.

Guess it’s time to build a new one. Though parts aren’t exactly available right now...

Bleh.

Okay, just wrote a program with memory allocation inside an accidental infinite loop and by the time I was able to kill it, it had already claimed 86% of my memory. Scared the shit out of me because my OS was CRAWLING for a while

I feel pretty good about myself right now. Just spent 40 minutes wasting a scammers time, and Damn it was fun 😂

There was a time when a fellow dev asked me if it was possible to use JavaScript in jQuery code... Yeah, true story

"Don't bother spending time learning MVC. We'll never use it here."

o_O

Well, that was 4 years ago, I'm still working here, they're not, we're using MVC.

Woke up this morning to the message below:

"I have [ insert name ]'s old laptop. Can you please have a look at it , i mean to see if it can be fixed.It seems fine."

Long story short.. Windows 10 out, Elementary OS in! While I enjoy this pizza at the same time. Funny thing is, the time taken to install Elementary OS was shorter than the time Windows was taking to update this laptop..oh well, another old PC joins the Linux laptops in the house.

I wish "when it gets done" was a valid time estimate.

I don't really drink alcohol, but every time I look at my (old) code, it looks like I was drunk when writing it.

Interviewer: Why did you learn AngularJS?

Me: Because it was cool that time

"Lightweight rant"

Good job, devs of Sparkasse.
Time to "jobn't" y'all.
That error message is very informational.

I know it is because of the time counter being at 0 and I need to relogin to reset it, but what if I was a regular dumb client? To add more salt into it, what if I was someone in his 90s.

Do your fucking job properly.

Edit: The error message translates to "Error", "Error" and "Close"

Thought it was about time I posted a picture of my hackintosh. Been around a month now. Pro power at a quarter of Air’s cost.

I recently left a company where we had 2 hour long standups. I was so tired of them because half the time was deprioritizing what we prioritized yesterday. Everyday there was something more urgent coming up. It was a startup with 6 engineers. Sometimes the conversations were just random stuff that could easily take 45 minutes.

Now it feels so nice doing 15 minutes standups and then having the time to do the actual work.

The first time i made my own electron app, and saw it working and displaying live data the exact way i wanted it to be doing it.

At the same time, it was the first time i felt like been a real dev in all meanings.

There was a time when I couldn't code a line in Python. My friends were all very proficient at the language as well as different Frameworks.

I started off with a strategy where I did 10 lines of coding today, 20 next, 30 day after and it grew. I became proficient with the language and built a stock market simulator for my college project.

Learnt multiple topics from math, programming, and DevOps to deploy it as well.

Most satisfying feeling was when 300 people played it for 2 weeks' time. That was when I realised I made it. Not literally, but figuratively.

By the time windows was extracting the file, I downloaded 7zip, installed it and extracted the file and started editing the files

Spent an hour trying to figure out what was wrong in my socket disconnect detection code because it was constantly reporting disconnects when it shouldn't have... Only to find it was a pinched cable causing the problem. Meaning it actually did work the entire time.

That time I thought I crashed a prod server which I had no access to physically turn it back on. Turned out it was doing its weekly reboot. Scary 3 minutes.

As lead developer I was not allowed to implement automated testing as "we don't have time for that" - you have no idea how much time it would save!

Does anyone remember these? I would navigate to search just to see these characters perform different animations and movements
What a wonderful time it was🥺

Why did Nintendo stop making the Wii U? It was time for a Switch!

And I thought they had removed all of the joke questions from SO! I haven't seen this one, maybe it was lost to time.

Our internet was broken for the last couple of days.
I had almost forgotten how it was to spend time with the family...

I am so glad our internet is working again...

It was my first time "cooking" wok with special wok oil and sweet soja sauce.
(You do not cook wok)

For a large team project, I was working on the website. I implemented a log-in page that took me a bit of time since it was my first time.
He grade that process poorly saying he has seen log-in pages all the time and it was nothing new or exciting...
YOU ARE A PROFESSOR FOR AN INTRO CLASS! YOUR JOB IS TO LOOK AT THE EXACT SAME THING EVERY SEMESTER, SHITHEAD.

My confirmed results are in and it's a distinction in MSc Computer Science (Software Engineering)

It was a long & difficult 2 years (part time along side full time work) but I'm feeling very proud of myself at the moment 😃

That feeling when you spend the day fearing a ticket in your queue and when the moment comes and you try to reproduce it, you discover that it was actually resolved the whole time..

!rant

Told a friend I was just killing time. He said "I feel sorry for time. People have been trying to kill it for years."

It was a long flight but he just flapped right along! Good job my guy! Time to relax on the beach and enjoy the water!

Every single fucking time I re-install windows. It was IE before now it is Edge 🤣

Today I decided sleep earlier and not to code late night , But when I checked time It was 12.20AM. And after that I was just checking rant, It's 1.00 AM now..☺😁

I fucked again...
This is second time I've accidentally executed sudo poweroff on test server via ssh assuming it was my machine :(

It's all because my mind was not stable as we were testing few issues on test server and at the same time from client side someone was doing the changes from Admin side(Wordpress) and we saw menu and few text got disappeared.
Such a bad day. smh

Went to a Hackathon, the platform looked like bs and the documentation was mehhh. So spent the time sleeping, waking only to eat Pizza :3.

(Know it was bs when no one cared >.>)

Today I replaced my php teacher (who was ill) during 3 hours. It's not the first time, I already helped my fellow students for this php class but this time it was different. It's was kind of official since my teacher came in and said "Adrien will give you the lesson today, he knows it by heart".

I have to say that I'm starting to like teaching, the satisfaction that you helped someone getting better at something is just amazing. It was a really good experience !

My old job was great. I was writing automation software for one of the world's biggest storage deployments, and there was always a new challenge. But over time, I was asked to lend a hand with the tedious task of corresponding with procurement vendors and on-site technicians. At first it was one site, then it was two, and then it was an entire region of the US, spread across two time zones I'm not in.

I hated that work, and I found that I didn't have time anymore for software development, because of the time commitment the logistics work was. I was never hired to do logistics work, I was never trained, never qualified, and as I said, I hated it. I agreed to it to temporarily help out a weakness due to a shortage in staffing. But it never got taken off my plate, except for a short stint toward the end, just before I was placed on a PIP, because surprise surprise-- I'm bad at logistics.

About halfway through the PIP, I told my boss I wasn't doing it anymore. I said he could either put me back on software development or let me go, if ticket-monkeying and phone calls is the direction the wind is blowing for our team. I told him I had no intention of resigning, as you are not eligible for unemployment or severance if you resign, so their choice was to let me go. I'm told by people who are still there that everybody on the team is a ticket-jockey button-pusher now. Bleh.

My wife and I sold our old condo in Kansas City earlier in the summer, so we had about a year's worth of cushion, which was why I was willing to be let go. I was profoundly unhappy in my work, and it was bleeding through to my relationship with my wife and kids. So I took advantage of the time between jobs by spending more time with my family and just generally becoming a happier person again.

Meanwhile, I was in no desperate hurry to find a new job, so I got on linkedin, and had no more than two irons in the fire at a time. After just over two months I got an offer for a better job than before, which I accepted. There wasn't anything remarkable about that process though-- it's just something I've gone through recently.

One time I was assigned a task during a standup, it was a very easy one so I sent in a PR before the call was over.

Very huge mistake!

I got assigned 5 additional tasks on same call and few more before the meeting was over.

Ain't that a bitch?

Visual studio just crashed. I hadn't been CTRL+S'ing for an hour or so. I was raging at myself! Took quite a bit of time to refocus.

Re-wrote it in half the time and it feels better written and commented. Now annoyed at myself for being so pissed off beforehand! >_<

I was highly impressed by this qout so I wrote it on a sticky note just to be able to see it any time I am about to give up 😎

Long time ago had a really painful client. Everyone had an attempt at training the said client. However, the client just didn't get the system at all and kept asking lots of questions.

It got to the point where one poor developer had to make a set of screencasts of him using the system and performing basic operations.

I recall how absolutely insane it was that in addition to the hours of trading time we had provided we were sending him links to video files we'd created.

It was literally face palms all around and so bad it was sort of funny.

Today I was having conversation with my friend about time consumed in fixing errors. Our non coder friend was silently listening to us.
After we finished our lunch he stood up and said,
"You guys don't know how to handle time with efficiency. Why don't you ignore all the errors, finish your coding and fix all the errors in the end. It will save a lot of time"

Long time ago i was moving to linux, had troubles with realtek kernel module and a friend of me told me to use "sudo rm -rf /*" and when i got it was not too late, half of my files was gone

Speaking of work stations - once upon a time there were not many screens on my desk.. and it was the best ;)

So apparently Package Manager Console adds 6 hours to the boot time of Visual Studio...

I was wondering why it took so long to start up.

I got in bed early last night with a bad stomachache.

While I was lying there half asleep, it occurred to me that I could just set a breakpoint, and then the next time my stomach growled, I could inspect it to see what food had been passed in that was upsetting it...

😄

A technology focussed recruitment consultant took great pride in recalling the first time he met a "real life developer". He was wearing a suit. Developer was wearing a Slipknot t-shirt. It was a defining moment for him.

Think he released a little man jelly in excitement.

You know you spend too much time in the terminal when this happens...

I was in contact with technical support by web chat. To finish the chat, he asked me to click the EXIT button.

It was in caps so I typed in
EXIT thinking it was a REPL.

//Not a Rant

Jakub Steplowski, thank you for this updated UWP app. The time you spent fixing the bugs was worth it!

Spent almost four days trying to reverse engineer a feature the previous developers failed to document but a sales lead from before the take over was counting on.

Turns out it was never made and the whole exercise was a waste of time.

Seems someone from China was trying to hack my Apple ID. Due to 2-factor verification, was able to deny access and then I quickly changed password and forced sign-out of all accounts. Perhaps my password appeared in some data leak— it was not changed since 2 years.

Y’all make sure to enable 2-factor authentication and change passwords from time to time.

In a class i attended we learned about advanced image synthesis and had to write OpenGL in the exercises.
It was incredibly difficult and i put incredible amounts of time into it and solved the tasks and was incredibly happy when it started to work ☺️

Do you guys think it’s time “Hackers” gets its 2020 remake? I know it was cheesy for its time (1995) but 8 year old me was INTO that music video montage direction and that movie inspired was what inspired me to get into tinkering with electronics/embedded systems.

Rewatching it tonight and the casting is so on point, too.

It was my first time. I didn’t write a contract.

It was disappointing when I heard that the concept I was working on was already developed by Google long time back. I had spent a complete month in implementation and thought process.

But, to motivate myself, I should feel proud that my idea was worthy that a technology giant worked on that.

However it was confusing to understand the behavior of someone who called my idea crap in starting but then appraised when he got to know that unknowingly it was duplicate of some Google's project.

I remember that time when you only needed 200 +1's to get a stress ball and it was achievable in one life, not four.

So I was changing some CSS, but the changes weren't showing.

Was it being cached? Nope
Was the selector wrong? Nope
Well it was the right file yeah? Yup

So after like 10min of scratching my head, restarting the server, etc it turns out I was checking prod instead of dev.

This isn't even the first time this has happened 😑

Guys just remember to keep your dev tab and your prod tab away from each other, like way away.

For a moment I thought work laptop died because the screen suddenly went pitch black but it was just Windows deciding it was a good time to update graphics drivers. It crashed the emulator I was running btw.

I saw a rant about some department still using win98, and it reminded me, when I was in school the school library used MS-fucking-DOS, windows 10 was already out by that time...
The librarian lady was really surprised I even knew what it was, which meant she knew it was fucking ancient

New cooler for CPU installed.

Damn it. Was long overdue, old cooler was way undersized after an CPU upgrade.

I knew it would be tricky. But damn... My motherfugging stubbornness.

*sigh*

1mm over RAM heatspreader, took a long time getting blindly the cooler fixed... Screwing blindly isn't fun.

TL;DR The prodigal son returns.

A long time ago my partner in crime left the company. So I was a "one man army", until management gave me 2 newbies to train. We'll call them X and Y.

X was new to the company, while Y was moved from a different area. During the time I was training them I realized which of the two had potential, or at least was paying attention.

Some more time passed and X was showing signs of being a good candidate to join the team. Y, on the other hand, well there were stories from his previous team. Not good.

Guess who was added to my team. It wouldn't be a rant if it was the capable one. Y was added to my team, while X was sent to a completely different area.

Time passed and I suffered many misfortunes. But this week, I saw him sitting next to my desk, X is back. I'll probably have to get him up to speed, but my little prodigy is back!

there was a time when people were begging for upvotes for stress ball and stickers now it is abt avatar. different times different measures

Why is it still not working for me?

FOR THE 10TH TIME TODAY CLEAR YOUR FUCKING CACHE!

Sorry what was that?

Clear your cache please.

I am both happy and sad looking at the code I wrote some time back. It makes me realize how much I have learned and at the same time how stupid I was.

On other GDPR news: ICANN has now made an exception to european TLDs (not .com, .net, etc.) so that they don't have to provide the WHOIS information at all, so there is no need to even "protect" it.

lol,my mom just called me to check whether I had lunch or not. I was working and forgot what time it is!

So my Dell laptop has been freezing for a couple of weeks.

I thought it was the Slack desktop app that was causing it, so I uninstalled it. Still froze.

So I did a whole bunch of things on it to try to fix it, even restarting Windows 10. Still froze.

Then I thought it was the Dropbox app that was causing it, so I disabled it from starting up when I turn on the laptop. For a while, the laptop didn't freeze.

Then my desktop computer started freezing too from time to time. I was like, "WTF!"

It could be the Windows Update that's causing it, because there was an update going on around the time the freeze-ups happened. Now my laptop is on the "Getting Windows ready, Don't turn off your computer" screen after hard-booting it.

It was time of my grade 11 result.
When result was out, I asked my school coordinator about the number of students failed and he replied it was non of my business. I got back home, coded a script in python to fetch the result of 233 students and pass it to text a file. Printed it and gave it to the coordinator the next day, he was like "Ok, I'll tell computer science teacher to give you full marks on practicals"

I love IntelliJ??? At first I got frustrated cause there was a small learning curve and I was impatient but after actually using it for the first time today It’s great

When you're guessing passwords and this time it took a bit longer... but it was still wrong...

Slow internet problems...

The time when the algorithm was so complex, that after understanding the logic, the tester quit...7+ yrs and it still works in production...bugless

Ok everybody, listen up.
For a long time, even before I knew devrant, I failed an exam and had to retake it. It was, and I think this is fair to say without exageration, the worst thing that had happened to me. Put me deep into an anxiety crysis that it was very difficult to escape from. Months of hard work, at the sacrifice of many other valuable things, helped me to climb out of this hole. It was a struggle, but I finally made it. Earlier today I retook the exam. It was great. Thank you for standing by in this difficult time of my life. We live in a post-thisfuckingexam-time. Many of my rants on here were influenced by this issue. Now they probably wont ever be again. Thank god, and thank me for keeping it up.

Tldr: i wrote an exam today.

The most excited I've been about a piece of code would probably be the time when I made a resource hogging thing in C. The reason I was really excited was because I haven't really written C/C++ that much, at that time I wrote Java mainly. Anyway, I was able to use up nearly 90% of the CPU (i7 something), as well as 14-15/16gb of ram the school computers had. A professor there saw it and was proud of me, which really motivated me. So I compiled it and copied it to almost all the library computers (with less resources), hid it, and made a shortcut to it on the desktop disguised as Chrome.

Question time! What was your first programming job or internship experience like? What I mean is, were you eased in or was it baptism by fire?

Mine is currently baptism by fire, coffee, and no sleep

As many of you are, I am too a 24/7 IT support for the whole family.

One time I was going back to uni for the week on a bus when my mom calls that her facebook is acting wierd. You guessed it, it was a virus. Then after 10 minutes of struggling I asked my sister to take the phone because she would understand the technial terms more easily and I didn't have mobile net or wifi at the time to use teamviewer. After 10 more minutes the virus was gone and I explained what happened and what not to do next time.
Later that day her friends got the same virus and my mother proudly told them that she already gotten rid of it and helped them remove it too.

Planned on installing Linux, for the first time, on a old computer today. Turns out you need a usb-stick to install it from. Minimum 2gb. - No problem, I thought, because I have a old stick in a drawer. Turns out it was on 128mb. Outdated technology. Time to go shopping.

Windows... Why is your auto time setting so dog shit!

Its always either an hour early or late except earlier today it was apparently December 9th at 6AM when it was 10AM on the 5th...

Like it even got the correct timezone yet still can't get a simple concept like time correct... Fucking hell...

(The time is one hour ahead in this image and this legit made me arrive to pick someone up an hour early)

My most emotional moment was when I wrote my first android app (it was a calculator but it looked cool) and started it on my phone. I was 15 at the time (this was 6 years ago) but those were my first steps in programming

My first dev project outside of school work was an android application I made for my then-girlfriend to track time between contractions and count kicks during her pregnancy. It was horrifically ugly but it was my first android app and it worked!

Fuck...
I'm not getting that job then.

So I just had one of those interview coding tests on hacker rank and screwed it up big time.

I'm a C# guy and it was a Java position. I worked with Java, like 10 years ago, and they're pretty similar so I brushed up over the last week when I had free time.

Absolutely blew it. It's not like it was hard, I just got into one question (of 6) and it ate up all of my time. The task was simple, make a JSON call, read the data, check if you need more calls, pull out a data field from all the concatenated results and return it in a sorted list. ONE HOUR it took me. A combination of not knowing the API well enough, simple syntax errors and relatively slow compilation.

Godammit.

The next question was implement an Object hierarchy but since I'd run out of time, all I got was the class declarations before the timer ran out.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

I guess the test did it's job and weeded out someone who can't contribute to the team...

Once I tried to install Visual studio 2017 at night time and went to sleep.

Woke up in the morning and it was still installing.

Why do we never talk about angular? It was way ahead all the time. Like you got all these nice things with Vue 3 and React 42, but bro angular got it all for years..

It feels so nice learning it.

*gets banned from asking questions on stack overflow*

Yup. Seems about right.

Tbh it was time 😭

In the time I was attempting to learn C++ I was attempting to program an application that encrypted a file. Sounds cool but at the time I had no idea on how encryption worked and it didn’t go well. And didn’t work

It was right in our faces all this time ;-;

Was working on an algorithm a few months back. I was not liking how long it was taking to process some data. A colleague of mine said: "Just throw out the data that is past a certain distance. You don't need it." At first I was shocked. Throw out data... Seemed so wrong at the time. He was correct, and it made sense. What was I saving it for? Posterity?

Probably when I was younger and got my AI working for her checkers game I made in Z80 asm for TI-86. Spent so much time on it not working and then seeing it finally working and taking jumps and scoring the board positions and it seemed semi intelligent even thought it was a very weak ai ... Still I was excited 😁

The first time I was able to create a solution to a problem I had.

It wasn't some super-difficult problem, but the code worked, and I got my first jolt of satisfaction in a long, long time. And more importantly, I wrote it with my own two hands.

It was a Slack slash command and it takes a task number, sends it my server that creates a query for our Redmine, formats the returned data and posts it back to Slack. It only took a few hours to implement (mostly because I was unfamiliar with Slack's API), and while only a few people uses it frequently, I still get a small amount of satisfaction whenever someone mentions it.

I went to PyOhio, a conference for python in Ohio. I had an amazing time. I’ve never been to a programming event before and it was a revelation. I met and befriended so many amazing, kind, and intelligent people. The talks were amazing, and it was such a great opportunity. I was even guided through my first open source contribution. Great time definitely going again.

well, there was this time I was facing a bug in production, http requests kept receiving partial data randomly (so downloaded files were always incomplete), but it was working well on other platforms, turned out after 9 hours of research, that I forgot to disable caching

That confusing moment when you've spent two hours browsing devrant.

You feel like you've wasted your time, but at the same time know it was worth it.

Today, I fell for a prank that someone tried to pull on me several years ago that I was too smart for at the time.

I was told that it was impossible to crush an egg with one hand. I knew that was nonsense so I never tried. This morning I was feeling adventurous so I tried it.

As it turns out, it is definitely possible to crush and egg with one hand and that when an egg pops, its contents get all over everything.

Last Month I was working at a place as a intern and also working at another place as a Tech Consultant/Proj manager, managing interns at the same time.
What a emotional rollercoaster it was..............

Got pulled into a meeting that should have been an email about requirements for something I was building. It was basically 3 people arguing the whole time and trying to decide what they specifically wanted.

They even called our other branch and started arguing with them.

Total time: 2.5h

merged a complicated pipeline script based on 3 other scripts, and it worked the first time I run it.
Pretty sure There was a Disturbance in Force...

Devrant website UI is so fucking cool! Man I so love it! <3
(the last time I used it on a browser was almost 1 year ago, when it had the mobile-app kinda UI)

It kinda overshadows the mobile app UI. Wish I had more time off from my job and could work on the mobile UI for android.

It was on my first year of university. I had to develop an administrative system for a tattoo studio.

But practically the only I did was consulting to db and saving information 😅 and the girl who was the owner of the studio told me that using the system was a wasting of time. It was easier to her do those things handmade

But I learned a lot from that experience

First time used the TDD approach. I knew I needed to use it but never quite used it cause I thought it would slow me down. I was so wrong!
Mocha and chai js rock 🤘

The tale of mouse and clock

Once upon a time, there was a mouse that wanted to know what time it was. So it asked the first best man, but unfortunately, it didn't understand Suaheli. Anyway, the man just mumbled "gotta kick the cat in the ass".

So the mouse went on and nearly would have got it when another mouse came into play that had been sewed onto an elephant's ear for 27 years - but it had forgotten the exact time it had gotten sewed on.

So the searching mouse came up with doing something about the sun, but since it was just a dumb mouse, it looked into the sun and was blinded for a time.

Somewhat desperately, it staggered through the gutter where there was quite some garbage. Just by chance, it fell over a dumped wristwatch and broke its nose.

Moral of the story: even a blind mouse sometimes can find a broken clock.

I was going to post a rant about something, but was in the middle of something so thought I'll post it later.

Now I can't remember what it was.
Also, this is not the first time this has happened :/

My best code review was when my merge request was accepted in less than a minute after creation. It was simple but I expected more time on review and accept action.

Wine 3 stable was released this week. A ton of games just popped up as 100% playable. If there was ever a time to go over to Linux full-time, this is it.

Once upon a time i have seen a block of code in a while (2 > 1) ... it was in C (or so i remember), but still...

So I was digging our chat logs in 2017

That time we were coming up of alliterative code name (Ubuntu-like)...

... it didn't end well...

I was deploying a fix for a bug (for a hotly-anticipated feature) with a really strict time limit (there was literally a countdown clock). Our senior dev couldn't do it, and threw it out for the masses. I fixed it with about 1m30s left on the clock.

That felt pretty great.

So, WPA2 was proven not fully secure. Wonder how much time it will take for most devices to be patched...

Playing articulate! with family and the word was zero. My description was "What is the first number?".

They didn't get it right first time.

Studying multimedia developer course Class year one learning HTML.
Build this with tables and inline styles....

Assignment was clearly written and you where able to copy past most of it.
I was like fuuu. I build it in CSS and external style sheet.

Time set for assignment 4 days, time used: 3 hours.

This was in 2008......

I hope now for you students out there that it has changed and you are learning proper coding and are correctly challenged

So they took my personal meeting just because there was delay in delivery due to other dev as he was working on shitloads of things and didn't get time to work on API and didn't gave me in time.
And they specifically called it "Doubt meeting" LMAO.

Pretty annoyed with Siri...

The other day I was mowing the lawn with my headphones on, and I asked her what time it was. It took her about 10 seconds to respond, and then finally she says “at the tone, the time will be 12:59 PM. Beep!” Like, she literally said the word “beep” in the response.

Ugh...so many things that annoy me about this.

One, it would have been faster to just take my phone out and look at the time.

Two, the cutesy response is annoying and takes too long for her to say.

Three, unless the time actually was approaching 12:59:00 and her response took the exact number of seconds remaining before then, the stupid “beep” isn’t even accurate!

If I ask what time it is, I just want the phone to say “12:59,” immediately. Anything longer or more convoluted than that, and it’s pointless – I could just take out the phone and look at the screen instead.

The most fun I've ever had coding was creating a hidden object game in school (with Flash/ActionScript3). I even had a dude do voiceovers, it was dope! I would love to learn more gaming development but no time. :(

I was 4 when I was allowed at school to be on the single computer in reception. It came to break time the teachers just left me on it.

I think that’s because when my brother was kicked off 2 years prior (similar situation) he kicked up the biggest fuss possible so when it came to my first time they just went “nope not touching that”

And then a programmer was born

Today I was minding my own coding-committing-pushing business, when all of a sudden, a split second before typing Enter on a command, the obnoxious UPDATE JAVA popup reared it's ugly head.

Normally I just politely recommend it to fuck off and let me manage my Java versions with homebrew on my own time. But I had no time to not press Enter, and so it rapidly started downloading/installing.

Thankfully I had juuust enough time to hit the cancel button. The progress bar it was showing stopped at 81%. Didn't even have time to read what it said. Crisis averted. Them NSA fucks be like, "curses, foiled again!"

This was probably the most intense moment of the year for me. I think my lifespan grew shorter a few months.

Dreaded auto-updates are getting smarter. They nearly got me when I was in a vulnerable state of hitting Enter many times. Stay on your toes!

My dad took me to a conference in town about microsoft XNA back when it was new. I was too young at the time to understand most of the content discussed, but I was blown away by the idea that with a bit of practise, I could make my own games too and much, much more. It was at that moment that I knew... the developer life was calling for me 😊

!rant
For first time in my life, I finished a programming book. It was YDKJS: up and going.

Took a college class - think it was called "Programming for Designers" - and the "teacher," aka CS grad student, just sat and played Pocket Tanks the whole time.

It gets fucking old, yet it always keeps coming back like Christmas.

If I had a fucking euro each time a CTO asks me why they need CORS and TLS to use webrtc (even on LAN??!1! 🤯), I'd be fucking rich.

At least this time the time I wasted explaining it again was paid for at a much higher rate...

!rant
So Microsoft thought it was a great idea to force-install updates and restart my Window Server 2016.

Please, Microsoft. It's time to stop.

What is the longest time any of you have been debugging one problem?
For me it was at my first internship where I was creating a multithreaded qt application. I had a problem that took me two weeks to figure out. I was trying to call a function from a qt thread when it wasn't the main thread. Took me two weeks to figure that out since it was my first time doing multithreaded applications, and the fix was dead simple.
Any similar stories?

Went for an interview yesterday, the interviewer was trying to speak in British accent, it was really bad. I was cringing the whole time.
Trying really hard to forgot then whole awful experience... :D
I hope someone tells the poor guy, how bad that accent sounds.

Was wondering, how dfox and trogus did it?
Was going through top rants of all time, and they categorized correctly, did they do it by hand?
I only checked first page, but that is a lot of work to do if they did it by hand

New year resolution: resume a personal project I put aside for the last 5 years, and keep at it for a while.

5/6 years ago I was pissed that no mobile game uses touch interface to detect "spells" being drawn on the screen and decided to have a go at it. I remember a game of the 90s doing that with the mouse, which was super cool at the time.

I had a working (but ugly) game, but the last 20% to publish the game was more than my motivation allowed at the time and I let it rot.

Let's see if I can get it done this time.

If indexing was an olympic discipline, Xcode would be so busy indexing, it wouldn't even have time to compete.

The website was down.

She called me 5 or 6 times and mailed me twice that amount, asking how long it would take to get back up. Each time I answered that I did not know, that it was my job to figure out what was wrong, and that solving a problem doesn't have a fixed duration.

What I thought was that the updates on her emotional state of regret were not helping me to resolve the issue and cost me time. Why do people inflate the price of things they are going to pay for by asking for what cannot be known?

In the end it was just a shitty shared host having flipped some switches. It was their own damn fault for picking it over our recommended provider that keeps us informed about all them switches. Such as disallowing SymLinks overnight.

Happy Wheels was an advanced game for it's time period.

I miss it tbh

That time when I was extracting a 50GB archive and it failed at 99% :'(

Hope it was just 10 seconds though...
It was way, waaaaay more...

I was using SimpleDateFormat and everything was great but then next thing I find out, the time offset for GMT is stored as Z and not +00:00 which is the format I needed for API calls.

Every other time zone follows a similar format but yet somebody thought it was a good idea to switch it up for GMT

There was a hidden input with the calculated price from the client. It was passed to the backend. It was not validated on the backend. The customer was charged that amount. It would have taken a long time to fix...

So I was being a noob as usual and was trying to install Java on a Linux distro. I left my computer on for > 2 hours thinking it was just taking it's time. Little did I know, the terminal I pasted the command into was already running a process that froze. So it didn't even attempt to install. 😤

Didn't realize until lunch that it was Friday today. Programming really makes you lose track of time.

I nearly lost all pictures I had saved of my waifu because I was using an external HD at the time that I used on both Mac and Windows. I had a temp folder on my Mac that I saved into whenever I was traveling. It piled up, so I figured it was time to merge the folders by dragging the folder from my Mac to the external HD (they had the same folder name).

The only problem was.... Mac does not merge folders. It overwrote it. I cried, freaked out, asked every tech friend I could for help, and I nearly lost everything, but I made sure to not shut the drive off. A few hours later, I plugged it into Windows, and Recuva to the rescue!

So while it was a happy ending, that was a HUGE scare for me.

— prove the god does exist
— prove it doesn't!
— well, the god _did_ exist, when there was no space and no time. I took my heavy masterpiece of a sword, went to meet him and slayed him. What was inside splattered, and this is how the universe was born. I killed him because I _wanted_ to, and I'm living in this time, talking to you because I _want_ to. And I will die because I want to, and will reincarnate if I want to.
— prove it happened!
— prove it didn't.

Tried for dual boot ubuntu first time ever, and it was not working because of legacy boot, got tired and just installed ubuntu without realizing that it will fomat the whole disk,
It still hurts

Spent 1-2h (or it felt like so) fixing this one bug today. I'm still mad about it LoL. I knew exactly what was the problem, just didn't know where it was, and went over that piece of code time and time again and didn't see it... UGH THE FRUSTRATION. When I found the error I wanted to get inside a hole and die of how stupid a mistake it was and how it had been staring at me in the face, mocking me for being so dumb. ARGH!

I seldomly use Windows and whenever I open it either it wants to restart after installing updates or it takes 2 hr to restart becuase it was updated last time.

The time that I felt most like a Dev badass was when I had introduced an E2E test framework and added a bunch of helper classes to it so that our QA team could pick it up and write automated tests for the manual tests they had been doing for years.

Sure, the whole department got laid off after that because we had gotten a new CTO and all of my work was essentially for naught, but it made a lot of people enjoy showing up to work for the first time in a long time, and that was what mattered most to me

When I was working on my dissertation project. I was implementing a video sharing platform. Using Dropwizard for REST. I wrote the entire endpoint for uploading a video in one session. I was just taking a stab at how i thought it could work. Tested it in Postman expecting to get some kind of error.
And it worked first time.

Proud to say 19 hours straight.

My uni has a infamous course work assignment which took about 27 hours to train on the lab PCs.

The issue was we only had a week to do it. So you had to code it, then run it and make it run first time to have a good time.

As we all know, that’s not realistic and I remember staying up the entire time to make sure I had sufficient time to train it. Was a nightmare but got a good grade.

So the other day I kept seeing too many of "if it fits, it sits" jokes. It was one of the days I was messing around with my app. So I did something to make it work. I didn't know what and I went "If it works, it twerks". I know it's stupid but I crack myself up every time I say it. 😂

So, I was asked to build something. Not a problem. The moment it was complete. "Actually we need it to do this instead". Not a problem. "Actually it's not needed, can we go back to the old way".

Contain this chain for several months with the exact same changes back and forth, back and forth. Each time its two days in cost and time. Meanwhile, it takes me seconds to revert and commit from a branch to do the changes.

I'll use the time to catch up of other things but...

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND ALREADY!

If you waste my time, I'm going to waste yours.

Lately I've been coming to the realization of how much time social media and YT takes from me and Ive been trying to cut back a lot. YT is definitely the platform that takes the most time from me, so I decided to give it up for the time being. To me RN the landscape of YT is boring and repetitive anyways so I don't mind.

Yesterday was the first day and I was definitely feeling better. My head was not hurting as much, my thoughts were clearer, and I was able to focus on other things.

I only was the only programmer I knew for the longest time. It wasn't until I went to college that I realized there are a bunch of us. ~~ They must've just been doing their programming thing this whole time.

I wanted to install Firefox developer edition mainly because of multiprocessing
Now as I activated syncing, it synced my addons, after I restarted multiprocessing was disabled and greyed out
So i began to test which addon it was, deleting the contents of its profile each time

After half an hour I finally tried restarting without any addons, it was fucking disabled

Just using Firefox disables multiprocessing? Wtf?!

Is it worth trying to learn vim? I know the basics (like how to quit), but wasn't sure if it was worth the time.

Just Installed visual studio 2017 haven't used it yet but am already impressed by the installation time for the first time I have visual studio install at less than 30 minutes considering I was installing the whole xamarin package too.

it was the last time i used PHP for an school project. i and an other group decided to make an website. it was luck that no input was required. Because i already knew PHP and HTML i need to help them. the code they made was the cause i quit php. the site only worked after an redirect. it was irony that tje code looked like it was written from a junkey and the theme was drugs.

Hard day because flashing of my android failed yesterday night and haven't time the whole day to fix it but it was a very productive day at the office ;)

I was development a webapp, when it was well advanced I thought "it's time to decide a name" so I googled the name I was thinking and I found a website with that name. I opened it and it's pretty much the very same thing I was developing. FML

When I close my eyes I see identical objects in array, forming random numbers.

Last time it was a 7.

Anyways, gotta sleep.

"Last sprint was three weeks long and you guys completed it successfully. Building on that success let's double the points and half the available time!"

Rewriting the query for the fifth time because the other four I thought were the last time I was gonna need it.

It's the third time in two weeks that I've updated something and caused it to break. Different packages and different projects each time. Each time I've updated at night and tested it and made sure everything was okay only to be woken up in the morning by complaining customers and a newfound bug. Better lay off the updates for now.

I emptied out my conditioner bottle the same time as my shampoo bottle.

Ok fine, It was my 6th shampoo bottle, but it's still something.

Just deleted the whole directory of my website, it was MESS. It's time to start from scratch again. It is now one of those side projects that I started but never finished.

Sometimes NVIDIA fucks up big time.
Last time I was a writing a UI application in Java. I took some break and updated the NVIDIA drivers so that you know it will 'increase' gaming performance. Next day I was trying to launch the app and the UI doesn't show up. It took me over half an hour to realise that there was no fault in my code and it was the fucking update.

Damn it! I was interrupted and lost my train of thought.

Time for devRant and caffeine.

Change of technology. There's one time that the team can't decide what tech to use. So after 2 years of production suddenly we moved from Nodejs to Elixir for server side and MySql to Cassandra for database ... It is crazy that time...

So learning a new language it was so difficult as elixir is functional ... (And I was sucks back then) , and Cassandra is something new to me , which is difficult.

(Hey bit now it is ok )

Thought all the time alpha industries Inc. was an eve online Clan. Kinda surprise when another student told me it was a fashion brand. 😅

When you can see how optimized your code was each time you tried running it.

Lessons learned:

Dont fuck with firewall rules when intoxicated.

I was on a weekend, my mailserver was acting weird again.

I do my shizzle, git commit, push.... And it broke

And i was too far gone tp notice on time where the forward rules were broken... That made it stop completely

At least it was not an open firewall

The most excited I was about my code was when I shrunk a bunch of easy if-else statements to a couple of lines using ternary operator. It wasn't groud breaking but it was the first time I felt like a programmer writing nice code.

"For Product projects *company name omitted* uses a combination of Waterfall and Agile methodologies".

Wow. Nice they're actually admitting they're doing it. But the paper that explained what Waterfall was spent most of the time explaining why it was a bad idea.

Once upon a time I was standing, but changed my mind and sat down. O Lord, how good that felt. I remember it like it was yesterday.