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Today my current company fuck itself.
We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.
And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".
30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.
This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.
And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...
Funny day :)
Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...36 -
Boss: You'll need to make the presentation an hour earlier than usual. There'll be 20 people attending..
Me: Sure. Will everyone show up?
Boss: Oh yes, they'll show up.
*Reschedules other work at home*
*Gets 4 hours of sleep to wake up earlier*
*Prepares material*
*Shows up for the meeting 5 minutes earlier*
*Crickets chirp*
There literally wasn't a single person there. Everyone shows up at the normal fucking time and good old boss was 2 fucking hours late.
Guess what the presentation was for? To solve the fucking issue of why stuff never gets done on time and nothing works right. I think I might have a tiny fucking idea why, at this point.9 -
Meeting up with @CoffeeNCode was awesome! We actually have a lot in common :D
Asked her for a selfie together so here we go:
55 -
Oh.. So the deadline is tomorrow? How about we schedule a fucking FOUR HOUR meeting to speed things up?
Yeah, fuck you too...15 -
Bored, stuck in a long ass meeting. When suddenly someone brings up the program I made. People start complementing it.
Today's gonna be a good day.
4 -
One time I was in a meeting and the UX Director fell asleep (like he had done before) but this time did a little quiet snoring. I was cracking up. A few other people noticed but he was off to the side so most just tried not to wake him and eventually he woke up.5
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Once a customer wanted to pay our invoice cash in a meeting. Then he came up with 14995€. As we asked where the 5€ are he could not remember immediately, but then he yelled: OH YEA I GOT HUNGRY ON THE WAY TO YOU.6
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Over the course of a few months, I began to suspect my manager disliked me on a personal level. I decided to be proactive and invited him to a meeting on "Improving our working relationship" - he showed up 5 minutes late and fired me.11
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Scrum Meeting
PM: What did you do yesterday?
Me: Tried to come up with a funny post on DevRant.
PM: Wait... So you didn't write any code?
Me: Oh yeah of course I did! I came up with algorithm that grabs the highest rated rants and compares them to determine the best time of day I should post said rant, to get the best possible amount of up votes.8 -
Ahahaha I don't know if I cry or laugh..
I slept 1 hour today, woke up, left the kid at school came back home planning on sleeping another 2 hours and coming to work.
Took a shower and remembered I had an important meeting by 8:30 am and it was already 8:10 ... Ran like fucking crazy , ate an orange for breakfast ran like a lunatic in traffic just to arrive at work by 8:34 and be told the meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon...
Had to smile to who rescheduled the meeting right now writing this rant :)
Now... Who the fuck sends an email at 00:02 to reschedule a fucking meeting??
Fuck.14 -
I am so fucking fed up with being brought into a meeting because you "understand the technology" and then no fucker actually listens when you say that their idea won't work because the tech isn't magic.3
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Two mobile devs were talking for 10 minutes in this zoom meeting whether "the component on the bottom should be hidden, or made sticky".
I just could not contain my laughter any longer when they showed an animated mockup comparison, and the product manager yelled excitedly: "Oh yeah, I love the one where it's very visible and sticky! But could you make it bigger for me?"
Sorry HR. I will never become a grown up boy.5 -
Our manager is not a developer and he has no idea of what we are doing most of the time, but he thinks that stand-up meetings are the coolest way to control us.
Sometimes coworkers joke about his lack of knowledge and today I think we reached the highest jerk level: «Yesterday I opened a new branch on the git repository and today I'll continue on this task».
I struggled to stay serious on my turn.12 -
Had a follow up meeting today to resolve the issue of Product ignoring our comments about possible issues, better ways to do it etc.
New rules:
- We are allowed to suggest to Product that they might be doing something wrong
- We are not allowed to tell product they are doing something wrong
- If Product don’t listen, that’s fine, we will document our comments to protect us later.
Conclusion:
Product are too sensitive to have a conversation with. We are now going to let them fuck everything up, make some notes and say “I told you so” at a later date.
Maturity at its finest ladies and gentlemen.5 -
Worst meeting... Way back in 2008 at my first web development job, our VP of sales kept referring to a client that was "jewing us down."
I'm far from Jewish, but I didn't like this guy whatsoever so I began breathing heavy and furling my eyebrows in the meeting.
He asked what was wrong, and without hesitation, my coworker next to me yelled at the VP and said, "you anti-semite piece of shit. Can't you see that Lee is Jewish? Wow. Way to go dipshit. Now he's going to sue the company and we'll all be out of a job!"
VP began profusely apologizing to me while I turned my nose up and refused to acknowledge his existence. Then we hear a click followed by a dial tone.
It was the actual customer. None of us realized that our other coworker had already dialed the conference line with our table speaker phone and had been quietly waiting to start the meeting while our theatrics played out for the entire room to hear.5 -
and they say programmers don't have a sense of humor. the company said to buy some motivational posters for the meeting room. this is what we came up with.
4 -
Another episode in the search of a job and it involves recruiters again
Last week tuesday:
> d69: 'Hi this is derpina69 from someFancyShmancyCompany, we got a position for you that might be interesting for you, here is the job description, would you be willing to meet us?'
> Me: 'Well it seems interesting enough, how about we set up a videocall meeting since this is a informative meeting, once ypur end customer is interested in my profile, i am willing to come over'
> d69: 'sure, i'll get back to you to alert attendees for this meeting, i'll get right on it'
Days go by without any word nor even an ical...
Two days ago:
> me: ' hello, pinging you again for a sitrep on the meeting, would like to hear from you and your attendees, wkr: neatnerdprime'
Nothing, until today.
> d69: 'hi sorry for the late reply, we really would like you to come ovzr because we don't like videocalls, are you available on these dates?'
MOTHERFUCKING SHITFACED CALF, YOU REALLY NEEDED TO HAVE MORE THEN A WEEK TO FIGURE THAT OUT, GODDAMN EVEN A TODDLER CAN BE QUICKER IN A RESPONSE ON WHAT HE OR SHE WOULD LIKE!
> me: ' sure, lets pick this date, hope you hace coffee ready'
> d69: 'we don't serve coffee for first meetings'
Mfw.webm
What the actual fuck!?!?
You're going to be classified down to my shit tier opportunities, and you better buy some goddamn coffee. All-dieties-be-damned!15 -
managers: We're all aligned! Let's work as a team and get this started!
devs: ok...
managers and devs meeting to discuss next features: * canceled by managers *
managers: (word for word, can't make this shit up) we cancelled the meeting, we will define the roadmap for everyone
> WE will define the roadmap for EVERYONE
devs: uh wtf???
one hour later, managers: guys we are defining the roadmap can we have a call to discuss?
fucking asshat, insolent, disrespectful pieces of shit3 -
Was in a meeting with my boss. I complained about there being too many meetings and thus not enough time at the keyboard. He told me that I should turn down meetings I feel I dont need or feel are unnecessary (no point in me being there if I dont feel i contribute). Point taken . I stood up and left. He later told me he appreciated my honesty and would try to keep are meetings to the point in the future :D
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And then there was this big review...
DEVs:" this bug is hazardous and needs to be fixed quickly! It could crash a productive system completely!"
CTO and DEV teamlead:" shut up! This big exists more than two years! No customer will ever klick this button!"
--exactly twelve hours later--
Customer:"so we clicked on this button and our system crashed! Can you help us quickly? We are losing money!!!"
CTO in the meeting:"who programmed this shit? Are you insane?"
Teamlead:"you are useless !!"5 -
There was this couple who were talking on the phone and neither of them would hang up,asking the other person to hang up.
So we did it for them :)
Awkward Meeting, right ?8 -
I had an old rant somewhere about the most unproductive meeting I’ve had.
It was when I joined a new team. I was asked to hold a meeting to solve the issue of why nothing gets done on time and nobody showed up to the meeting on time including the manager.1 -
Things I like about WFH
-save petrol and mileage
-work in underwear
-big TV during lunch
-time saved by no commute
-lie down during meetings
Things I dislike
-feel like my room has been invaded by work/miss the physical separation of work and home
-distractions and temptations
-they moved the stand up to ealier because of WFH
-Everything has to be a meeting. No just popping by someone's desk with a quick question
Sometimes I miss physically seeing my colleagues/getting out of the house but not often11 -
I think I fucked up. I really do. In my presentation , my browser was left on the search page of "How to detach a head " which supposedly I want to search "How to detach a head in git" but I was in a rush forgot to include git in the search. And after the presentation, I day dreaming and subconsciously staring at one of the coworker, he begin to tell me to calm down as he leave the meeting room.
I think my action will get me arrested man.10 -
Dear Managers,
This is not efficient:
Boss: * calls *
Me: * answers *
B: there's a bug in feature ABC! The form doesn't work!
M: ABC uses a lot of forms. Is it Form A, B, or C?
B: Umm... let's just go on a Zoom call!
* 5 minutes trying to set up a Zoom call *
* 3 more minutes trying to find the form *
B: This form in here.
M: It works fine for me. What data are you inputting?
B: * takes 5 minutes trying to reproduce the bug * (in the meantime, the call is basically an awkward silence)
You spent 5 minutes wasting both of our times trying to set up a Zoom meeting, and another 8 wasting MY tine trying to find the bug.
This is efficient:
B: There is a bug in form C. If I try to upload this data, it malfunctions.
M: Thank you. I'll look into it.
You saved me 8 minutes of staring at a screen and saved us both another 5 minutes of setting up a meeting.6 -
One of the dev in my team literally asked us (other student devs, professor, and a guy from the company we were working with) this question during a weekly scrum meeting:
"Who is this Jason you guys keep talking about? He never showed up to any of our meetings!".
A bit of context: we were 6 weeks (halfway) into our FINAL YEAR PROJECT for a bachelor in software engineering...
I thought at first he was joking...9 -
Working from home. That time you spend commuting is spent on working. That random guy showing up at your desk breaking your concentration doesn't exist. If there's a bullshit meeting you have to go to, you can dial in, put yourself on mute and continue to work while listening and just unmute as needed.
Seriously so much more productive.11 -
My team has 1-on-1 check-up meetings with our boss about once a month.
My 1-on-1 today consisted solely of him saying "So I bought a new Porsche, want to see a picture?"
It was a pretty productive meeting, if I do say so myself!2 -
One of my colleague is in trouble... He yelled "I don't give a fuck " in a zoom meeting. He told me he thought his mic was muted.
No is not. You fucked up.10 -
If you come up with a great idea in a meeting to solve a problem, be prepared to implement it alone.4
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I studied at an Art School and my co-ordinator liked to screw with students. He set up a short-notice meeting with himself, myself and an audio guy (to work on our game).
I didn't know any of this however and my co-ordinator opened with: "He's a photographer looking for a lean Male to do a nude art shoot."....... I'm pretty confident person and I thought he was serious so I agreed to it.
He wasn't serious and it became an interesting start to the meeting.1 -
Worst meeting. Hmm..
Embarrassment wise maybe the one where my boss called me the queen of porn in front of everyone. Yes, classy AF. (Just have to know him to know his sense of humor I guess).
Most cringe worthy meeting was probably when our out of state national director came in and basically told us he has no clue what we do nor does her care to learn. We brought up salaries to him as well as we're in the bottom 8th percentile for the industry in our area with HUMONGOUS work loads, like 20 sites per developer at once. This is a huge multi-million dollar corporation, mind you. We told him some of us have to have 3 jobs to survive and he basically said well you're an at will employee so there's the door. He also took phone calls and sent emails during my one on one meeting which we never finished even though he promised to. But he bought us a shirt, so you know, it's all cool. 🙄10 -
My most ridiculous meeting was a meeting that I couldn't attend.
When I was working as a freelancer my companies CEO and me were invited by a client from another country (6 hours flight & hotel).
The meeting was scheduled for the day after our arrival.
After breakfast the CEO told me he would pick me up at the hotel lobby at 2pm. I waited for some hours, but he didn't come.
Later that day he told me that he met with the client already at 10am.
I am sure he told me the wrong time, because he was afraid that the client would try to headhunt me.4 -
Worst meeting:
Boss: *calls everyone* URGENT MEETING. If you're on your lunch break, then stop and join the video call. Is it a weird time in your timezone? Wake up. But COME
Omg what happened? Is the server down? Are we getting a huge client? What is so urgent that it needs all of our attention right now?
Boss: I'm afraid that I won't be able to stay long in this meeting.
... then WHY the f did you call this meeting?
Boss: that's why we'll have a meeting next at *such hour*. In the meantime, talk to your respective departments about what you've been doing and what you need from each other. See you!
No comment6 -
Our company just had a meeting with another company which are our main investors for a project for the next quarter. I sit down next to my team lead and we all wait for their last HR person to arrive. Ten minutes later a girl which I hooked up with last week walks in and sits next to the other company's "main boss". Spoiler alert, she is the bosses daughter.
We might pull out from the project but I sure didn't last week.
I hope this rant doesn't get deleted...6 -
Bad news:
Everyone now wants their damn solution done "ASAP". Yet they fail to provide basic information. They never show up at any meeting. And ignore all my emails. FUCK!
Good news:
It's Taco Tuesday.1 -
Show up on time.
Be prepared.
Have a list of things that need to be covered if you're leading the meeting.
Stay on track, don't let people start talking out of one tangent, I tend to suggest people discuss it afterwards or email about it.
Take the meeting seriously, otherwise other people will not.
Know how to talk a language everyone understands. Sometimes people with key info just aren't very technical.
Following Ely's golden rules for meetings, my meetings are rarely longer than 20 minutes.5 -
I sat in a 30 minute meeting with our company's ISP. We ended up talking about devRant for 10 of those minutes2
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Hmm, Manager called us for a meeting to discuss our future plan
All we ended up listening he wants to open up his own caffe with library
:(8 -
When you have to wake up by 4am because of an early morning meeting. Its almost 2 am and still wide awake. Fucking brain5
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Previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/2301424/...
She sent me a bouquet. The interviewer sent me a fucking bouquet.
7 -
Me: *Looks at calendar* Oh boy! A meeting free day - I can finally get X done!
Boss (after stand up): Are people up to do refinement and other Agile?
Been stuck in meetings all day (-_-)/
I miss actually doing my job.4 -
Area manager: ok we are having this volunteery meeting after hours but if you don't show up, your shifts will get cut...
Mother fucker. Just sat it's mandatory, done and dusted, don't fucking piss fart about saying otherwise, fucking wanker...
(I'm not a fan of my AM if you can't tell)5 -
HR meeting about flex time. They rounded up the entire engineering department for an all hands meeting.
Started off "we're not here to single anyone out, and no one's getting fired", and then proceeded to shower an employee, lets call them G with praise because they worked late the one day they brought in an investor.
The rest of the meeting was a guilt trip for the entire group. Great use of company time. /s1 -
Ah the classic meeting terrorist....
Us: "These emails are working."
Rando customer on conf call: "No they aren't, I haven't seen any of these emails."
Us: "Is your email on the list?"
Rando customer on conf call: "No."
Yeah fuck you.
The rest of us are paying attention here, can you please shut the fuck up on the meeting.1 -
worst part of working in scrum: trying to remember what you worked on Friday for Monday morning's stand-up meeting.2
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Motherfucker, every fucking meeting on this project we have a fucking 3 week deadline to accomplish the fucking impossible.
And now they practically want me to rewrite the whole fucking application.
And my fucking boss can't fucking shut the fuck up and keep having "ideas" on new thing.
YEU FUKCING STUPID PIECES OF SHIT!!! HOW CAN WE ADD SHIT WHEN EVERYTHING IS HALF ASSED BECAUSE WE DONT STOP ADDING SHIT? FUCK YOU!7 -
New job was killing me. remote team has an 8 hour time difference to us, and no understanding of it. Constant last minute invites to meetings at 10pm my time. Made worse by the fact that many were unnecessary, duplicates or just plain pointless. So for the last few weeks of last year I made in my mission to clean it up.
New plan: move my hours around on Mondays, stay later, move all the meetings back to back and get everything out of the way for the rest of the week.
First day back and heres how the new plan is shaping out:
- 5:30pm meeting organiser decided we actually need 2 almost identical meetings instead. Sends out a big team meeting for the same time as my 1st meeting at 5pm, as well as the existing one for 5:30pm. Already agreed on by everyone else, so had to go.
- Cancelled my original 5pm meeting for today, said we'll re-arrange it for earlier going forward (not enough time for notice for remote team).
- Went into my new 5pm meeting, turns out we don't need 2. Got everything done by 5:30pm.
- Just to be safe though, a new invite will be sent around for the hour of 5 - 6 "Just in case".
- My 6pm meeting just got cancelled as she has a conflict (despite setting it up 2 months ago)
- Now I have to wait around, after hours for my 6:30 meeting.
..... believe it or not, this is progress.
Happy new year!6 -
One time at my first dev job, I had a one on one meeting with the international marketing manager. I was like two weeks into the job as a contract front end dev, and some how got placed into this random meeting with someone I didn’t know. Anyways, I show up to the meeting room, sit down, and she started talking about some ecom site that was going to launch soon. Then a list of features she wanted to get my insight on like analytic events, gdpr, cta modals etc I can’t remember tbh. After 5 minutes of her non stop blabbering I finally stopped her to say I didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about, I didn’t know who the right person she was supposed to talk to is, and I only accepted the meeting because she said there was food(donuts). She was pretty embarrassed after that, but continued to keep talking for another 15 minutes about the job and how do I like it etc. Whole thing took 25 minutes, and I missed out on afternoon ping pong. Worst meeting ever.3
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Dutchies and some other peoples who want to join the Dutch devRant meeting!
Since nothing is being decided or whatsoever, this is the plan as for what I think would work best and based on feedback/comments/the chat.
We'll meet up at the The Hague train station around 2PM. From there on it really depends on what everyone wants to do but my idea would be (depending on the weather) to go to a park or get a coffee or something like that.
So, what do you guys/gals think?27 -
Last meeting I suggested we started using unit test and perhaps TDD on our platforms.
My boss is open to it and everyone seems to like the idea...
Now I just discovered that our dumbass coworker is trying to say by my back that its a bad idea to double the code efforts and that he sees no point in it...
Well dumbass cock sucker who can't even fucking remember how to write `docker-compose up` without messing things up you can fuck your self because you are certainly gonna be fucked sideways untill the end of the year.4 -
So we started looking into docker. As always I needed to do the research and I was fine with it.
We have 4 projects that are sold into one suite so logically I follow the microservices build structure.
3 months later after everything has been set up, we get called into a meeting. The whole suite should be a monolith as microservices doesn't make sense to the people planning everything.
Ok pulled my current plans out abd made everything a monolith. Just note I also get pulled away to other Business Units to do work for them.
Get pulled into another meeting 2 months later. Why isn't the docker containers in microservices!? It is stupid running as a monolith and we should've done our jobs better etc...
After the meeting my manager and I just sighed and walked to the office. So basically 5 months doing the the exact same thing we did in 3 weeks.
Now they want to develop other services and want to strip every method into a microservice and bundle it together.
Life of a DevOps engineer right!1 -
In a UAT meeting with representatives of our project partners,
The account executive, who set up the project, said to my PM in front of everyone just before the test started: "I hope your system won't fail, because everyone here will be watching"
My PM: "No it won't. But in that case, I believe it's your fault for setting an unrealistic deadline without consulting us, the development team, first"
All the representatives, being also developers from multiple companies, proceeded to stare at her with disgust.2 -
Manager: "hey I'd like everyone to join this global meeting"
I saw about 30 people, something was off, certainly didn't feel global, I felt like I shouldn't be there.
I dug out the original meeting and it's for Lead PMs. Our manager isn't even attending, what's up with that, is he trying to make us take meetings for him?
Someone once told me my manager was an idiot and he confirms it like once a week pulling stuff like that.2 -
Manager calls a 2 hrs meeting to bring up any issues that are efffecting the employees. (so everyone prepares with all of there problem writen).
The manager then gives a 2 hr presentation and doesn't give a fuck about what the employees have issues with.1 -
I had a job that was one big meeting for 6 months. I kid you not. We had our stand up, had another meeting that extended the stand up to discuss issues highlighted in the stand up, then we would have a scrum catch up type meeting then after that work until about 12 so an hour ish? Then a call after lunch to catch up about the work we’d done and make sure everyone was ok, then probably a backlog meeting, then likely a company wide meeting and then at about 4? Probably a meeting. I don’t know by this point I’d lost the will to live. One massive joke of a company I swear5
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When I see someone from the sticker club I always has to imagine the reaction of client at the first meeting on which he shows up with his laptop.
Professionalism < 0
Ridiculousness > 9000
5 -
Yesterday I had an interesting interaction
- I complain about not having tickets for something, as it makes it unclear who needs to do what
- manager tries to call out on me for “not giving precise infos”
- A frustrating argument starts, ends up with manager defending himself telling we need a meeting with [other team] to sync on infos that are not clear
- meeting starts, manager starts to make a buffoon about himself
- other dev out of nowhere tells that the manager is not giving the task to him for some reason
- other manager is speechless at our manager’s incompetence
Managers.😎1 -
Online team meeting at 9:30 am, I wake up at 9:25 am
Wake up. Meeting was moved at 9:00 am and renamed to "CRITICAL". It's been 45 minutes and I still don't know what broke, but I'm too scared to ask.3 -
Let me tell you the story of how a feature request no one asked for got put in an early grave:
PM walks into weekly meeting with a single use case that one user called in about, despite never having this issue during the past year and a half that our app has been in production. PM's boss (genuinely one of the best people i have ever worked with) happens to sit in this particular meeting for no reason other than he felt like he should once in a while.
PM brings up use case and wants to devote 3 weeks' development time and another 3 weeks to test RIGHT NOW while other projects are already in motion. PM's boss speaks up with this: "Listen if this guy is really this upset, we can just tell him to build his own service. All the other end users have no problems with this, so it's not worth spending the resources on, i don't think."
And that is how i went from "this is bullshit" to "i love you" in the span of 20 minutes.2 -
Got asked into a meeting to give my opinions on the security about software that might be used to implement a web app.
After 20 minutes of listening to bullshit that wasn't even my concern they got into databases and I was constantly talked down, by people who know shit about tech, about the professional use of PostgreSQL and they only did shut the fuck up when I compared their "important business" to Facebook using MySQL.
Come on... Stop talking down about shit you know nothing about.3 -
So I fucked up.. I assigned a small wordpress/woocommerce project to myself to avoid my team members from wasting their time on it. I had a two month deadline, which was insane, so I kept postponing it until I forgot about it. Today my client contacted me by email to ask if she could preview the site before our meeting in two weeks..
QUE BULLSHIT EXCUSE:
- “I had to migrate to another server because of some access/permission issues with my current host. They gave me their word that they would be done with the migration thursday or friday, then I have to correct some permissions and database settings, and the DNS update may take up to 24 hours to finish. I will personally make sure that you know as soon as the migration has finished.”
- “Thank you so much! I feel so safe having assigned your company the job! I am really looking forward to our meeting and seeing the site!”
Oh and did I mention that deadline was around 65 days ago? And that I haven’t even started yet? I know what I’ll be doing for the next 6 days..3 -
It was a Monday morning, and I did what most people do - I got up late. When I came to senses, I realized I have an important client meeting today.
I ran towards my closet and grabbed my favorite shirt, but it was a mess, badly wrinkled.
But no problem, I decided to put this task on my old but trusty laptop, I waked up my laptop (Which has just celebrated its 12th birthday yesterday), it literally coughed 100 times as i opened 3-4 chrome tabs and android studio on it. Within a minute , my newly found laptop-iron become as hot as the surface of sun, i gently placed my shirt under it and in 5 seconds my shirt was looking brand new !!! I quickly got dressed up , while my laptop was cursing me at the back.
Luckily my meeting went well and we secured a new project, on my way home I was happy and satisfied that my oldy has found a new purpose of life as a makeshift iron.
I returned home, and to my surprise my laptop was'nt turning on....!!! I though maybe its tired from todays work so i let him rest..........
3 -
When you didn't do anything at work all day, but you need to think of a lie for tomorrow's stand up meeting.8
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Have interview in 1 hour
*Quacking calmly*
Tests webcam, mic, connection
*Quacking softer*
Open meeting app to set everything up
Windows: I think not. Pereificus Totalus!!
*Quacking intensifies*
Why do companies use these random new wave of meeting apps instead of the tried and true ones!!4 -
Worst codding interruptions? That's easy: fucking meetings.
You know they're coming up. They start to drain your focus. You double check the clock/start time. You ask yourself if you were supposed to prepare anything. You typically waste an hour of your time over something that could have been a fucking e-mail (or doesn't even matter at all). You come back to your desk, and your focus is broken and you wonder when the next meeting is coming up.2 -
*Declines meeting an hour past working hours*
Manager: “any specific reason why you declined my invite?”
What I want to say: “You are a narcissistic cunt who I wish to never interact with again. Your existence in this world and the way you treat others makes me want to throw up!”
But I just pretend like I never saw their message.8 -
Day 2 of my non tech manager reviewing PRs in order to “speed up QA” he’s taken to commenting on every PR with. “I don’t understand how this code works, we need to setup a meeting for you to explain it to me”. Amazing.6
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1. Remove chairs and tables.
2. Limit everyone to two minutes speech time.
3. When everybody got used to stand-up meetings, get down and plank.
Everybody will have a very strong interest in a quick and productive end to any plank-down meeting. 😁4 -
Manager 1: "We're going to hold a small meeting because of a new project."
Me: "Okay, cool. What project is it about?"
Manager 1: "Project X".
ME: "Right. What's the domain name?"
Manager 2: "Well there's this design but it's entirely made up. Just a concept."
Manager 1: "Wait, there's no more toner."
Manager 1 and 2 take 20 minutes to fix the printer, so manager 1 can print out an e-mail. They both return to their seats. No meeting happens. I roll a smoke and go outside to flip through LinkedIn for the nth time this week.3 -
Daily scrum
Today, the Scrumpy Master was not here, so I leaded the daily scrum meeting,
rephrasing the 3 standards questions a little bit: the results where amazing.
Here my questions in case somebody want to use them:
- What the fuck did you do on Friday?
- What the fuck do you think you are doing today?
- What is your fucking problem?
We managed to keep the meeting very short and after the meeting everybody was sooooo concentrated I couldn't believe it.
Beeep Beeeeeep 7:00 o'clock. Shit. I was dreaming. Must wake up and go to work.
Scrum master will be there too.8 -
An IT guy told me during a phone meeting set up to talk about how he builds these web forms on a dumb CRM for a client of ours that he has been an IT professional for 25 years.
He says he doesn't know much about the codey stuff.
What do IT professionals do again?8 -
Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂3 -
we're in a meeting to plan the inclusion of new interns. They don't have that much experience on linux but all our development is on linux:
me: So we'd need to setup up their computers, keep in mind they don't have experience on linux
coworker: gotcha, i'll do it.
**proceeds to install arch-linux**7 -
Just lied to a client about meeting up to discuss a project. I called in sick, but I am just too tired and didn’t do anything on the project for a week. I have blood on my hands now. I will have to see him tomorrow though.2
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When the scope of a project is the solar system and we end up talking about the universe... for three days. I just want to rage quit the meeting. 😐3
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So I've announced my leaving today and my dear line manager responded with asking if they could make me change my mind.
Like what makes you think this is up for debate? I literally noted I signed for another place. Maybe you should have thought of this when I a million times before said that I might leave if x or y doesn't change.
She also scheduled an "emergency meeting" with me for today. I'm eager to hear what she has to came up with..14 -
So, I was on-call last night and I got paged four times in the six hour period that I slept. I had to get up and handle the alerts and make sure all the systems are up and running each time. I have a meeting in 20 minutes and I just want to sleep.2
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When you suddenly come up up with the solution to a problem you've been struggling with the whole day and realize that you're in a parent-meeting at your kids school.2
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So, we have this ma'am at work that is the least direct person I know.
She can transform one sentence in a paragraph and the meetings/talks with her I usually end up in my "happy place" at the middle of her phrases and come back latter when she isn't finished and I'm like
"wtf is she talking about yet? Damn I went away again, shit... Just nod and smile..."
We had a meeting scheduled with her and some clients today... She missed it... MOST FUCKING PRODUCTIVE DAY EVER!
Thank you.7 -
My team's "Scrum" daily stand-up meeting lasts for 1 hour. We spend the first 30 minutes listening to the Product Owner's "updates"5
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The one time a piece of software I was semi-responsible for maybe had been compromised. But I was student dev so I wasn't even brought into the meeting despite being the only person in the entire organization who knew how it worked. Gr8 politics, glad you hennies trust me. They came out and a good colleague of mine was brave enough to come over and ask if maybe I knew how this and that worked and I could clear up the confusion they spent 45 minutes on in 20 seconds 🙃4
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I just calmly got up from my desk and walked into a meeting room to scream.
I hate this fucking job4 -
Background:
New guy on our team, deadline coming up. I bring him into a meeting room, explain what the project is about, quick run down of the code. Then spent a while explaining what we have to do next, gave him a piece to do, took a piece to do myself.
The fuck up:
A few days / week pass by and I ask to check on his progress. Fucktard decided an hour after the meeting that it would be easier for him to use a different database than what the project was using and decided he wanted to work on some other feature instead.
My stuff was dependent on his stuff, so not only did he not do his work but stopped me from delivering mine.
Let’s just say there was a few stern words in a meeting room shortly after that.1 -
Phone call with random guy:
"Hi I have an awesome idea for a mobile app that's going to change the world. I just don't know how to program it."
Me: "cool, let's set up a meeting to hash out the details and discuss the project & costs"
Guy: "I was hoping you would be able to do it for 10% equity, it's gonna make millions!"
Me: "Facepalm"6 -
I fucking hate MS Teams!
I do not use it at all, but there is another company of our group that has it. At the beginning, I could just access the website and talk to them over there. Ok, the page was not good, but that used to work for me.
The last meeting I had with them, the web version did not exist anymore, they just made me install the app. Luckily there is an official Linux version, so I could install it. I got late to the meeting, but could make it.
Today I had a meeting with a client. Important stuff and Teams did not let me use it because I had no business account with Teams enabled on it.
I've tried to use one of my personal accounts, to create a new one, to enable Teams, I've clicked, enabled, allowed every single thing they asked, but I ended up on the Teams home page again or with Teams asking me to call people on Skype instead of using Teams.
I've managed to create a company on Microsoft account on which I had to be responsible to my workers (!?!?!?) and it finally opened the Teams app, but when I try to enter the client meeting link, it just opens the app with no error message at all.
Fuck Teams and fuck Microsoft!2 -
My day:
9 am: crack knuckles, ready to start day
9:01 am: oh, that PR I sent last week hasn't been reviewed yet and I need it in mainline. Better merge latest and get someone to look over it.
9:02 am: now the test suite is broken, better fix that up before getting it reviewed.
1 pm: phew, that was a slog. Now to get on with today actual programming
1:01 pm: "hey buddy, you coming to that tech leads strategy meeting?"
5 pm: Jesus what a meeting. Now maybe I can get a little code written. I'll just fast-forward to latest...
5:01 pm: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES A BAD MIGRATION AND EVERYONE SHOULD AVOID USING THE LATEST VERSION WHY DIDN'T YOU REVERT THAT SHIT DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE AND RESTRICT YOUR STUPID WINDPIPE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND GIT *RAGE TABLEFLIP*2 -
How to run a productive meeting?
Have a written agenda (provided before the meeting, of course)
No "Lets talk about the service architecture" nonsense. Provide the exact details of what the outcome of the meeting should be. Even been lucky enough to cancel meetings when the agenda points are answered in a reply email. Its awesome.
As conditioned as we are about agendas, a few mgrs still skip the agenda and it ends up as you would imagine. At the end, everyone is like "Why are we here? What did we decide? Looks like we need another meeting..."4 -
My team lead be like when we're in a meeting with the boss:
He: I'll have a working session with her, we'll brainstorm on how to come up with a better design and improve such and such feature, once that's done, we would call you to have another meeting.
Boss: sounds good, I'm looking forward to it.
Me: *internally rolls eyes...*
He: thank you everyone.
.
*meeting done*
.
.
.
couple of minutes later, I get a message from him:
He: hey, it turns out I'm busy and I can't have that session with you, do come up with a new idea/design and share it with me.
Me: .... *fuck you, like you didn't know you were busy before making that fake promise*
.
.
.
The fucker will take credit again for things he didn't do.8 -
This is a story about the shitty client who managed to ruin everyone's day, consistently....
So this client, its our biggest revenue source (about 33% of total) and our boss is total wuss when talking to them because of that... Each meeting he has with them he ends up bending over nd just takes it all...
So after each meeting with those shit heads, it's always the same...
It's our fault for going over budget (them changing their mind like 10 times during a project over key issues has of course nothing to do with it, because hey, we're a flexible company and all we do is modular and extendable right?)
Its our fault for not meeting the deadline, because of course our boss keeps accepting last minute projects like there we're otherwise sitting on our thumbs
And than their fucking contact person... Biggest ass ever, always involving us in his own office politics... I'd throw him through the window3 -
So last week I ranted about the hours I was working, great start this week I'm up at 03:00 to go up north, not going to get back till 20:00 ish. Tomorrow I have to be in Wales for 09:00 so going to have to be up at 04:00 for a 5 hour travel time. Check my emails and my boss says after I get back from Wales tomorrow can we have a design and specification meeting about a "super urgent" product that we have to develop. Oh and Thursday I have to prep everything for going live with a new product Friday.8
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Supervisor: *starts meeting*
Me: *joins*
S: Hi, thanks for joining
M: Yup, what's up
S: I wanted to set up this 1 on 1 to talk about how you're doing and your progress.
M: OK...
S: As you know we're supposed to do a 3 month review.
M: OK... Sure... *looks at calendar*
//It has been 5.8 months since I've been at this company.4 -
So I walk up to my desk, join the zoom meeting for daily stand ups, and then join the other meeting scheduled by the CEO. And I watched a presentation built around how I'll be fired in the next few minutes. My colleagues and I got laid off in the snap of a finger.
Sad much8 -
In a meeting with customers to agree on the scope of a new project...
Me: "Hey, we could do this awesome thing that will save you a lot of time that nobody's brought up or mentioned and will take us an extra 4 weeks to implement."
Horrible, but it's my way of training my PMs to leave me out of meetings.3 -
Senior group project in college.
When you decide to meet up and one member doesn't show up at first meeting.
So I sent an email about the research I did on the feasibility of the project and how to implement a core requirement. 2 days later & no response yet..
Why do I think I'm gonna be the one the pull off the application by myself & then have to put name of people who have no idea how I got it to work..8 -
Me (out loud in a meeting): "we currently have a SQL Express license, but the traffic with the additional servers is causing crashes when the cache fills up. We need to upgrade to the standard version.”
Follow up email from mngr planning to retire in 6 months currently making roughly 3x my salary: "See if we can get a proposal to purchase better Sequel software and install."
Me:
(-_-;) ... ಠ︵ಠ ...
┻┻︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵┻┻1 -
I'm a junior dev in a scrum team with two senior devs: one actual senior and one average dev that's just been around for a long time. At stand up meeting, that average senior lists helping me as one of his task Every Single Day. 9 out of 10 times when I ask him a question we end up asking the senior senior together.2
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Unscheduled meetings are the worst.
You preparing whole day to leave early for the day, then manager suddenly puts up an unscheduled meeting. Oh great isn't it!!1 -
Day x stand up meeting scheduled for late evening:
Manager: so, what's up?
me: fixed two bugs, analysis going on for another, having a couple of blockers, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Day x + 1 stand up scheduled for morning:
manager: what's up?
me: *repeats pretty much the same stuff, with some updates on the analysis
manager: but this is what you told me yesterday.
me: but there haven't been any working hours between our two conversations.
manager: your efficiency is questionable.
me: *thinking about my happy place with a clenched jaw2 -
The best part about being a junior developer is meeting veteran developers.
For example, my friend's father is an old world Linux guru. I've known him for a really long time, but never understood why he lived in a mansion.
Every time I see him now I make a point to bring up some small Linux thought. He always responds with some ridiculous history lesson about the origin of a command or how he still uses a regex alias he wrote 15 years ago.2 -
The interface for time input in outlook Web on mobile is driving me crazy!! It's not as if there was a built in control that is well supported in all modern browsers.... Right
1. You can't tap on an hour to select it
2. You can only select by scrolling
3. The scrolling is "smooth scrolling". So you have N O fucking chance to select the time slot you wanted. After too much time has passed you just give up and accept that your meeting will be at 09:57
4. In order to go up in time you constantly activate the"pull to refresh" feature of Chrome.
I'm definitely no mindless MS hater but this I cannot tolerate.
6 -
My manager calls in to the morning stand-up meeting while driving to the office.
This is dangerous, not just for him but for other drivers.
I want so badly to say something but he's my manager and I'm afraid of reprisal.
He wouldn't listen to me anyway.3 -
All company meeting to discuss plans to move office, and they want to change all of the devs to hot-desking?!
Would be interested in your guys experiences if any of you have done it, but I feel I'd be affected a lot as I only work 3-4 days a week.
I literally stood up and left the meeting, saying I'd quit if they did it. I'm far more comfortable and productive with my setup and space. Knowing my co-workers they might think I'm saying it for drama but I think I actually would leave, despite everything else being fine (except HR!).16 -
!rant
Super awesome day today.
1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.
I really love my life sometimes.5 -
Wasn't even going to do this but here it is.
Meeting to start every single day. Every day I have said what is assigned is not possible in any way. Nobody listens or cares.
Fast forward a week, my team is deadlocked with an issue that cannot be fixed. Morning meeting kicks off, topic gets brought up by me and the immediate response is, "Why have you or anyone else been looking into that? We've known for weeks that is an issue." -
Had another meeting today. The solution architect said two insulting jokes about developers like:
"The devs will nevertheless mess it up"
Devs are the ones who make chaos
This meeting was with a customer and his developer. I was just furious!
This useless son of a bitch needs to learn his lesson3 -
A few years ago my boss held a brainstorming meeting to go over features for an internal reporting app. I brought up we should have related business news stories scroll on the page header like Fox business or something. He laughed and said sure. Two things happened after that.
1. Found out the marquee tag still works in chrome.
2. Yeah you bet I put that shit in there.
Anyways a meeting was held a few days after where my boss chewed me out for actually doing it. He showed the app to his boss and got laughed at by his leadership team when they saw news headlines scroll over analytics graphs.
After writing this I realize this is more his embarrassment than mine. Have a great Tuesday fam.7 -
What’s the use of daily sync meeting if you only have three dudes working together and already have Trello to list all the tasks?
And we have to report every single progress in person!?
Like I literally have to stand up and walk five feet to you just to say that I just finished a function and committed.
What the Duck ?!7 -
So a few weeks ago, our PO really scolded my team for not letting him in on our release planning meeting. His rant went on for about 30 minutes, just one long monologue about why he should be invited in the future.
Apparently he wanted to know details since there were some important fixes in the release, which I suppose is fair (though the rant is really not necessary).
Fastforward 2 weeks, we invite him again. He accepts, but never shows up. We decide to start the planning anyway, since we don't want the release branch blocked because someone didn't show up.
Immediately after the meeting, we write him with the new release plan. And he starts ranting again about "planning without him" -.- ..
1) Stop yelling at the team you're supposed to work with. Talk with the team about it - I'm sure they'll listen.
2) If you demand being in meetings, show up - or at least decline in advance.
3) You have no right to rant about "not being part of the planning" when you were literally invited for a planning meeting 2 weeks in advance. No meetings were overlapping, so there's literally no excuse..1 -
Had a meeting with about 5 people, 4 of which showed up, 1 of which did not.
Guess which one was the subject matter expert without whom we spent 55 minutes positing what-if's that could've been easily answered if that individual was there?
Yup. Never rescheduled, and that was the end of that conversation. -
You have a meeting with a really really important client who is a typical client from hell who constantly changes his mind about everything and then blames you for “not getting things done” and always says “this is not what I asked for” every god damn time.
Anyway, he now jokingly asks you if you think he has been a troublesome client and before you have time to answer he continues the meeting.
What do you do? Do you suck it up like a weakling and disappear up your own asshole or do you tell him what a monster he is?
5 -
Do after been made redundant! A few interviews I finally was offered a job! \0/
Now I ended up meeting the team yesterday they said an hour or two and I ended up spending 4 hours with them and have a blast!
Normally I would be #tgif but roll on Monday for me!2 -
Once in corporate stuffy devland a major monopoly-in-their-field client was raging at our tiny company and trying to scrutinize everything we did for whatever reason
The client's head huncho, some department head below the execs or something, insisted he have a code review meeting with the lead developer, which was me, and scrutinize my code in a 2 hour impromptu meeting one random Tuesday. Up until this point I was not allowed to even be introduced to the client so I'm a little ticked my company is throwing me under the bus like this.
So I get into this call, share my screen, guy is raging and asking questions left and right about every line I had written, firing, fuming, shouting... But it's clear he doesn't know how code works. So then I start teaching him how variable assignments work and function calls... He got so bored he left the meeting in 30 minutes and it was never spoken of again lmao1 -
Just because I am a night owl and arrive late to your fucking meeting at 1100am, it does not mean I am shit head and trying to save out of office. Then why did you fucker shift my meeting an hour before and screw up my whole day. Fuck you asshole.
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Thoughts prior to feedback meeting, about how it's gonna go.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scenario one:
Supervisor: The shit is this? You call this a research work? Get the fuck out of here! You're fired and even your unborn kids are banned from coming into this institute ever again!
Me: *walks out sobbing* (dunno how one can walk out of a zoom meeting, but this is imaginary so who's counting?)
Scenario two:
S: Umm, good work. I just don't think it's presentable. Maybe come back in like a few weeks when you actually polish this into a "real scientific work".
Me: *sobs after meeting. Starts preping for seppuku cuz no idea where I'm headed with this work any further*
Scenario three:
S: nah man. This is no good. Let's start from the bottom. Like, start data collection from the beginning or something.
Me: *sobs and commits seppuku on the meeting.* (I just have a pen tho. Hope it has the same effect as a sword)
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There are other scenarios, but they all end up in me sobbing and/or committing seppuku in/after the meeting so yeah the drama is running high right now.11 -
Being the only dev in charge of the project, makes you the one to be blamed for.
The God saviour, shiny armoured back end developer that joined the "team" (only me) to help into this new project Just Said in a meeting:
- "I wont code anything for this new project, I can't get the point of It"
So every meeting was
- "why feature X is not ready?"
- "I'm waiting the endpoint for It"
- "well, then mock It"
Now I fucking give up.
One month mocking things and "presenting" features that don't even exist. -
> In an online team meeting where our manager is telling us to wrap up the final bugs and get the release out as soon as possible so we can enjoy Christmas and the last week of the year stress free
> Opens LinkedIn while in the meeting since all my discussion points are done
> First post on my feed
> mfw
5 -
I have a big progress / update meeting to lead my team tomorrow.
Our investor has "ideas" on features and things that will significantly change the information we have to include in our code.
We are suppose to launch Jan,1 2019
He says I'll Call you tonight to give you the details so you will be ready for tomorrows meeting. .........
............
...........
yep never calls.
Fucking Awesome! can't wait to tell my team tomorrow. "glad you all came in today, looks like we have to change somethings I'm just not sure what yet."
Maybe I'll order pizza and beer to the office and we will all play video games until he shows up. and say if you aren't going to take this seriously why should we.
Fuckers!!!!!!!!!!5 -
My most useless meeting was probably the review meeting for a new team I had to consult for a short while for. A review to find why nothing gets done on time. Everyone showed up an hour late, including the boss.4
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I'm trying really hard not to be sensitive, but my manager is making it difficult with their "constructive criticisms" ...
Just finished up a call with them. And I'm so tired. I'm not even angry or upset, I just feel so tired of their bullshit.
I set up a meeting as a courtesy to get them up to date on all the code changes I made. Last night I stayed up late to try and get things in before the deadline and this morning just killed me when they say.
"I don't think I should have given you this."
"I was right, you weren't ready to start doing this."
(Then don't even bother giving me anymore tasks then, I don't fucking care.)
"you clearly don't understand how branches work"
(Absolutely fucking false, I fixed that shit and am very familiar with how to understand the structure of the fucking repo)
"you are rushing and I don't need you messing up the website"
(I'm being proactive you twat, not rushing, making it very difficult for me to do the work and being productive)
Like seriously bro! Don't fucking patronize me for the work I was trying to get out. And trust me this fucking meeting is done in order to get ahead of potential issues, not a time to be condescending of my skills or lack there-of as you seem to so keenly think.
If you had this much doubt about my abilities then why give me the fucking Sr. title? Fucking trust that I'm being honest, and I'm trying to get us to a good spot, not fucking sabotage the company. God fucking damn.6 -
This one is for @Fast-Nop
Both a rant and a joke/meme.
Its also funny because its true. Couple of teams (team responsible for orders and team responsible for accounting) are in seclusion in a meeting room right now cleaning up the web team's screw up.
5 -
Throwback to the time I got called out by my boss in a meeting in front of the client for using too specific vocabulary like CRUD with them, immediately asked the client if they were familiar with it, they were, and boss didn't comment about it further. He ended up being the odd one out hehe jewel in my memories.1
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My project manager one time called me while I was waiting in the bank. He told me that the latest changes in the project I was working on were not deployed to production and they were having a meeting to demo those changes to the client later that day.
I had my laptop with me but it wasn't charged. I asked the security guys if I could use the socket used to power up the cleaning/sweeping machines and they didn't mind.
So it was me sitting on the floor in the bank hall using a side socket to power up my laptop holding my cellphone so I can use the hotspot and get internet connection deploying yesterday's changes to a production server.
Eventually, the client didn't attend the meeting that day!4 -
Ahhh yes, nothing like waking up at 5:45 am to attend a 6:00 am meeting only to find out it as been cancelled during the night.
http://gph.is/1L4H8sa3 -
I think my boss hates me 🤭 she accepted my meeting invite, I made eye contact with her on my way to the meeting room, she just looked up and then back down. Now here I am, been waiting for her to show up for 10 minutes 🙃5
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Just about every meeting goes the same way. I (or a different developer) explain something to the client and they agree and say it makes sense. Great, that takes 5 minutes. Then the project manager jumps in and says the same thing all over again but takes twice as long and confuses the client. By the time I (or the other dev) are able to clarify to the client the boss jumps in with a random comment that is either completely irrelevant to the discussion at hand (showing he wasn't paying attention) or that undermines all we had done up to that point. At this point the project manager then sums it all up with something like "great meeting" and "we'll send you an email". Now both the client and I are confused about what is going on... After the meeting the project manager again reiterates everything that we had already said. A simple 5 minute meeting is now 45 minutes long. So. Stupid.
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I turned up for a meeting with some folks from US on time. Waited for 45 minutes and they did not show up.
Come home half an hour later and see a mail that says “anyone available?” from their side after waiting for them for 45 fucking minutes. A meeting that they scheduled. On a fucking Saturday night.
Fuck you!1 -
Was in a meeting with the execs and the boss singles me out and asks me where is this functionality at. I told him the dev working on it will have it ready today. He goes no no no this needs to happen now. I am speechless have no idea how to tell him this employees are working very hard and is doing the very best with the limited time we had. I personally was up at midnight coding to deliver on time. That was the start of my bad day ... crap just pilled on :/1
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Recently attended a meeting about lessening the frequency of meetings and making them more productive. After three hours, it was decided that we needed to block out three more meetings in the future to follow up on this topic.
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The meeting attendee added that Zuckerberg appeared red-eyed and told staff he might tear up during the meeting, not because of the topics being discussed but because he'd "scratched his eye," Bloomberg reported.
Isn't this soul satisfying?
Iceberg losing billions in few hours and pressurising 'FAANG' bootlickers who joined Meta to narrow down on video saying he did not expect TikTok as a competition.
LMAO. Fucking hilarious.
Map the normalisation curve for anything and it's always symmetrical. Facebook's downfall has started.
Source: https://businessinsider.com/mark-zu...
9 -
Turns out I'm terrible at meeting people. Go figure, it's the cliche of being a dev.
I just moved into a pretty nice apartment in a nice area, but I I know literally nobody here aside from coworkers. The only friend I have left that hasn't moved away is in jail for a good while. 😧
The only place I can think to meet people is at a bar/club - which isn't really my thing. Even then, just walking up to a stranger and striking up a conversation just seems fucking weird to me.
Anybody have any advice on making new friends in basically a new town?14 -
So I have a date tomorrow. First meeting in person. I’ve got a little time to kill before hand, and need to learn Dart anyway....so I thought it would be fun to code her up something interactive. Kinda like that game Mr and Mrs. Only in the terminal, and for nerds.
Features, ladies and gentleman?9 -
Fucking gratuitous interface changes:
In Zoom, when you leave a meeting, now it has a read 'Leave' button, and when you click on it, a second 'Leave meeting' button pops up which you have to click as well.
In Outlook, there used to be a search bar above the list of e-mails. Recently I noticed it wasn't there anymore, and it took me a while before I found it… they moved it to the title bar!
WTF are these people thinking? Seems like they change interfaces just for the sake of changing something.5 -
We had a thunder storm with pretty strong winds while I was at work. A transformer across the street blew up (came off the pole, lots of fire, pretty neat)... I had a meeting at 4:30 and was told we were still having it even without power or internet. the meeting organizer never showed up.
...I could have gone home and worked because our vpn and dev servers are on another state that still had power. -
So ironically after posting this rant this morning: https://devrant.com/rants/2376420/...
I came into work to an all hands meeting. Same situation that happened a year ago today is happening again with my current (now former) job. Being laid off effective immediately due to lack of funds.
FML.8 -
God I hate when dev work gets all political.
Our team had a technical meeting with a difficult partner/customer, that wants to connect to our internal service, so we are writing an Integration Service for this.
Apparently the project is very important on both sides and highly political so in the meeting there was a member of the Board of directors of them. We just wanted to check one feature to verify they can connect, etc.
After some minor bugs showed up, that guy goes on ranting about how this is all a joke ("Verarschung" literally) and how we did not deliver all features yet as promised (Note : that was not promised) and basically indirectly personally attacked us, our company and our team.
It's incredible how such assholes can stay in such positions.5 -
Got let go / fired today. I was still on my probation period, but they are going to pay me out for the next 2 weeks.
My boss wasn't even in the call "because he's in a sales meeting".
You know you are being let go when you don't have access to any company passwords, and they don't assign you any new work.
Well, onto something new. But first going to relax and catch up on my sleep.2 -
The team leader call us for a serious meeting, and he wants it to be productive,
Leader: "we shall not procrastinate anymore. We don't have time left. We should not just talk random bullshit like we did the last few times. Aight?"
We all agree to be productive.
We also set a few main subjects and decision to be discussed. Then, we all get into the meeting room seriously. In a meeting, we try the idea of the upcoming project. But we suddenly went off topic. Then, My friend talk about L4D2. Then we start playing. And, I say, why not try some GTA5? I proudly reboot my expensive laptop from Ubuntu to Windows and playing GTA. Then, we start spotify and talk about song.
We laid in the sofa and talk sexually. My friend introduce me his favorite AV and we compare our manhood's size.
It was 4am already. One by one the attendee fall asleep.
It is lIke... the survival gamr of sleepiness? xD
Only my best boy friend and I were left awake, talking about ourselves, watching the beautiful midnight city.
Then, 2 of us ourselves start to talk about project idea. It is something cool and crazy to think about, like a friend making app. The 3 hours of brainstorming is gay and romantic.
"Okay, so we have the outline. let's sleep, baby" So we sleep till the noon. We wake up. Some left. Some were still sleeping. The birds twitter in the bequtiful skyline.
I did not forget to upload my idea to discord after going home in the morning. End of the meeting. Barely any goal was met in the meeting.
Those days, we make attempt of productive meeting again and again but end up procrastinating everyday. We had meeting in a small bedroom and it was our meeting room. We played different songs, tasted different wines.
And, finally one day, my friend say "I feel that it is much productive to work alone in a separate room. So we won't get distracted by each other."
Another friend: "yea..I know it is harsh... but yea... true... let's work alone"
I almost eant to cry. But we cannot indulge ourselves in the moments of dreamy romance.
We should start real work and don't be gay.1 -
Hello NDC! Three days of conference, learning stuff, coffee, motivation, meeting people, coffee, good food, coffee!
I love NDC (Norwegian Developer Conference), it's my ninth time. I just watched Jon Skeet talk about C#8, up next is some Azure stuff. Anybody else here?
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11:30 in my timezone. Was supposed to wrap-up meeting for project finalization 3 hours ago. Sitting here rn, listening to a coworker in management explain the importance of equal respect for all employees in the company. The Boss has left the meeting because he has "better" things to do. FML4
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What's up with the meetings and schedules? If you involve 9 people for a 3 hour meeting, you're wasting 27 freaking hours and no it's not what standups mean. Startups! ugh2
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Shit night. Sat at my fucking desk to work on my fucking tasks. Started at about 9:30. Now is 12:21 and I'm in my fucking bed.
Guess what I finished? 70% of the new template for fucking home page of one website.
I'm supposed to finish the new design for two websites and present at tomorrow morning meeting.
And I couldn't even finish one full page. My brain is just giving up on everything.
I just have to sleep and get up early. Hope my fucking body get up early. -
Day 1:
Optimizing huge problems for the company. Get mail. *sigh*; Why is your script using up half the CPU on our thin clients? *place in complaints folder and go on*
Day 2:
Boss asks about it during scrum meeting. *Oh shits*
Need a cluster. Been asking for it for months...
Day 3:
Start runs on all thin clients. *Thou shall feel my wrath*
Complaints folder floods.
Day 4:
Expect rage from boss.
"IT seems to have found a cluster for you at last."
Finally! -
Yet another ticket comes in about a feature not working after we push another update. So in my meeting I bring up adding testing would reduce this. Yeah boss just wants me to fix this issue and just do manual tests....fml1
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Had to wake up 1 hour earlier today, and the worry of that kept me awake last night. Now I sit here like a zombie, hating the day that I'm going to have, which is not full of exciting coding with headphones on and Babymetal in my ears, but full of meetings.
I already see my eyes tearing up, reality fading, a guy in a meeting asking me something and pulling me back to reality so that I could stare blankly into his eyes and reply a generic "Yeah, I agree with your proposal", so everyone will think that I'm on drugs or something.
Welp... gotta go. Fuck.2 -
After building some automated regression tests to verify parts of the company website were working, it was discovered that a test case was missing.
Instead of a constructive meeting about fixing the issue and adding a test, I was reamed and my manager was reamed that we "missed this case".
Nevermind that the automation caught several issues before release in nearly every other aspect of coverage.
Nevermind that the missing test case was a useless feature added after the automation was completed.
Nevermind that automation was meant to be the last stop in the gate, not the first...
I was so livid after that meeting I nearly resigned on the spot. My manager was so livid over being told to write me up he was ready to resign. -
I’m becoming really frustrated working with my current project. It’s like someone’s dog ate the requirements and all stakeholders are on a different page on what’s needed/wanted. I’m fishing for the info I need and try to decipher the vagueness I get. I know I could just call a meeting and try to get us all on the same page there - but I’ve been in a few meetings with this specific lot of people, and I know it’s just going to end up in much more confusion...3
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Last Scrum Meeting, set up our new Container Server and installed Sentry (Bug Reporting Tool) on it. I was pretty proud, since it was one of my first DevOps thingies I had to work on. (I may end up as a DevOps Engineer after my Internship) In the scrum meeting, the colleagues just start saying everything with a French accent and just laugh about their french jokes while I'm in the middle of showing them sentry.. they were literally unstoppable... 😡 And weren't paying any attention to my presentation.
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Just rebooted my work station during a video conference because the VPN was flaking out.
After reboot, launch Teams to get back to the meeting. The VPN credentials dialog then pops up, but IS NOT MODAL, so I end up sending my password to the group chat...
Time to change my password, I guess.3 -
Why is there always one asshole!
New job just a month in, had a meeting where we could bring up improvements and put them on cards.
I brought up the idea of using slack so we could collaborate better or maybe a collab space. We all have our own offices or share with high walls.
The guy running the meeting has the same title as me said we never had that before, are you unhappy with yiur onboarding?
Slack or a messaging app is industry standard for even none tech companies. I was polite and said it was just a suggestion and it might make it easier to get help for the new people if there is a group chat.
Also brought up using a formatting standard so code reviews are spent commenting on spacing. I said we could you prettier to implement that and just pick a standard.
He said that was an issue because people were not paying attention before they pushed the code.
I am sorry I am new so I am rewriting and rewriting code all the time. I was to format on save and not spend time fucking formatting!
I could use a package before since it I formatted it would look like a bunch of fucking changes in git.
Why make things harder? Part of the meeting was how to get code done and PR’ed faster so it gets to the testers. Autoformatting shit would help.6 -
Newbie Agile Team: "Hi Scrum Coach, we studied and implemented the Scrum methodology, but we are late as before and our software is buggy and shitty as ever, how is that?"
Agile Coach: "Scrum Methodology is easy to learn, but difficult to master!"
Newbie Agile Team (chorus): "Oh coach, Fuck yourself daily, with your coffe thermos, standing up and once per week retrospectively. If you'll come at the next review meeting, we will gangbang your ass in front of the stakeholders"5 -
I don't like many sudden unplanned meetings appearing during your estimated development hours. It consumes some development time and destroys your momentum.
We follow the 2 weeks sprint that contains sprint ceremonies like sprint planning, demo, retro, daily stand ups and backlog grooming meetings. My capacity should be less then 80 hours since there are sprint ceremonies and unplanned meetings that happen during development hours. Unfortunately, my capacity is still set to 80 hours and meetings hours are not deducted. This puts me to a disadvantage as I need to do unpaid OT/weekend work just to make up for the lost time consumed by meetings.
Those 1 hour/30 minutes meeting piles up thus consuming development work hours. So a simple example is that you have 32 hours estimated to finish a big user story but sudden unplanned meetings and sprint ceremony meetings will consume some of that 32 hours. I will bring this up in our next retrospective meeting.12 -
After moving desks, ending up next to your manager.
The manager is there when you arrive at work, and is still there when you leave. He never seems to leave his desk, not even for lunch, except for the occasional meeting.
We never see him do anything other than work, but sometimes he joins in on personal conversations with other colleagues, which usually ends the conversation rather quickly.1 -
I understand that some people have trouble with home office.
Well. I don't.
But at least have the fugging frigging respect and
1) answer my bloody questions, especially if I'm frigging nice and make a questionaire and notify you without a shitty meeting.
2) when you ask for an appointment during non working hours.... Then don't be fucking late and especially don't fucking miss it without telling.
3) And don't... Don't fucking give me a bullshit excuse like "yeah, I forget".
At least an honest apology....
I'm currently really close to murder people or call an meeting where I declare that waiting for appointments will be counted as work time.
(hint: this is the fucking sixth time in 4 weeks someone fucked up. And I'm really pissed)3 -
I remember our PM/GM used to give us a website name and one line of website description, then he disappears to attend meeting outside the company. His phone is switched off most of the times and he doesn't reply to messages or emails.
2 days later, which is our fixed deadline for a website, he comes and says why the website is not up yet!
Note: One developer for one website and the developer has to design, write content and code frontend & backend.1 -
Just came up with something inspired by @librarycomic for use at the very start of every meeting with the customer.
"You have the right to remain silent. Any ridiculous specs or illogical features that you say can and will be laughed at in the back project office room.
Any real questions you ask will be answered to the best of our ability, as long as they don't violate privacy or the law or the internet.
You have the right to be in a hurry or tighten the deadline, but not to expect that it will cost the project any less.
With these rights in mind, let us begin our progress meeting. On to you."
Feel free to fork and contribute! :D -
Started work at 05:00 to catch a flight, just finished work now (20:00)
Tomorrow morning i have to be up at 03:30 to catch a flight back, my boss has also booked me in with a all day meeting with our largest client tomorrow so won't be leaving the office until 18:00.
Atleast im going to the midnight viewing of Capt. America tomorrow (if I'm awake)3 -
Boss: so what's the outcome of this meeting?
Me: well 23 more JavaScript frameworks got released in this time. A lot to catch up.1 -
I have two managers outside of the bathroom having an impromptu meeting while I'm blowing it up.
...this is what causes psychological complexes.1 -
My company got drunk in the meeting decided to go out to town and live it up ... we got loads of work done... I swear...1
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I have to wake up in the morning ....for a meeting.........
When was the last time I woke up in the morning? Oh that was before having the baby. -
My biggest personal challenge as a device? Staying on topic and meeting deadlines. I get too caught up adding bells and whistles because I want my work to be badass. So badass that I forget that I'm supposed to release it and not spend months working on adding features2
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Went to a 15 minute meeting to discuss an app I’m working on. Nothing I’m the agenda seemed aimed at me and I figured I was there just to pitch in as needed.
Took 2 hours and I ended up leaving with three weeks worth of work and the single most complicated workflow I have ever heard of. I do not get paid enough for this. -
Tales From "PM vs Chen"
PM: *Walks up to Chen's cube*
Chen(that's me): *Taking off headphones* "Are we about to have another meeting about the meeting we just had?"
PM: "Yes"
Chen: "Okay. Just checking." *Waits for PM to share his thought*
PM: We're almost done.
Chen: "Yes" *Waits again for PM to share his thoughts*
PM: *While walking away* "Making Progress"2 -
Why does it always follow the same format?
Me: we should do do and so because xyz. Alternatives are this and that because uvw.
Manager: no, I'll hire another manager.
[Q]uit, [T]ry again? T... fml
Manager 2: let's have a meeting.
Meeting almost ends up being about an entirely irrelevant topic. Barely get the requirements before the end of the day.
Me: write summary following conventions.
Manager 2: let's hire another manager. Manager 1: great idea, manager 2!
Manager 3: let's build a spaceship!
[D]evsplain, [R]agequit, [T]ry again?
class Manager:
"""This shouldn't be too hard..."""
... -
First time setting up a linux distro for myself I decided to do it on an external hard drive. Accidentally formatted the whole thing. Lost 200gb of anime.
I restored about 60% soon aftet meeting up with a friend of mine. But it was still devastating.7 -
"Engineering needs to play catch-up"
This ask of yours was never a priority until this meeting. And you want us to finish development, test and deploy to a client. You are crazy!3 -
When the manager doesn't show up to a meeting, we get everything disscussed sorted and even summarised in an email...simples! Yet manager insists on having "another" meeting just to go over everything we all discussed. We wonder why it takes twice as long... We have to explain EVERYTHING, just let us get on with it!!2
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Requirement: "Build teleport using a teapot and some tape"
Yesterday I spent most of my working day staring at the screen thinking about it, without being able to write a proposed implementation document. I felt the most useless person in the universe.
Me, today at daily stand-up meeting: «Honestly I have no idea on how to proceed, please assign me a different task.»
Manager: «Well, just think about it a bit more»
Great.1 -
After an important meeting where you actually get to give feedback and share some of your ideas for new features or bug fixes, one of the managers sends a follow-up email to the team telling you to get features done, like they were his suggestions.
Manager “I'd like you to work on.... “
Me "Right, that's what I wanted to work on... "6 -
So one of the PMs arranged a meeting last week for today, where he was going to "talk to us about a project we're currently working on".
Today the PM was off, so myself and a few other managers attended said meeting. Once everyone was in, one of the managers looked around, then at me and stated: "Have you not prepared your handover for this meeting?". I was just sat there like "WTF? What handover!?"
Apparently the PM decided to raise a meeting saying he was going to talk about the project, but then told all the other managers I was going to give a handover. He told everyone, but me!!
No wonder he didn't show up for it -.-2 -
- have/share an agenda as soon as possible
- each talking point should identify a problem. Make a list of strategic questions answers to which would make it perfectly clear what and by whom has to be done to resolve them.
- plan meeting duration according to the list of questions. Make sure you meeting room reservation gives you enough time
- take notes
- be prepared for a need for another meeting(s), if during that meeting it comes clear that:
> more/other people need to be engaged
> some things are not clear and need more investigation before going further
> you have run out of time
> there are other problems tgat need to be worked out and it might cobsume too much time to do this in a current meeting
- do not turn the meeting into a chat. It's counter-productive, tiring to the listeners and a waste of time
- do not try to cover many topics. The less, the better. Unless they are very tightly coupled.
- do not invite people you do not need or there is a very slim chance you will need.
- only schedule meetings when the situation needs to be DISCUSSED among multiple parties
- that being said, do not schedule meetings when it's more convenient to communicate otherwise, like email, chat, etc.
- after the meeting make a summary and send it our to all the participants. They might reply and clarify if you have misunderstood smth or missed some important point.
- during the meeting assign tasks to each other. Verbally. Make notes. After the meeting reflect them in jira, rally, wtv.
- while assigning tasks nake sure the assignees have no blockers to work on them and make sure they understand what, when and how should be done. Some tasks might be dependedt on each other, work the sequence out.
- while assigning tasks ask "for ETAs. They might be as silly as 1-hour-to-2-weeks, but they still let you know what to expect.
- offer your assistance to the task assignees if they need any while working on their tasks
- work on your language, grammar, syntax, etc. Reading texts with typos/mistakes is repelling
- be a leader, an authority everyone is looking up to. Not a boss.
- avoid saying NOs. Be more of a "do we really need this; can we do this some other way/time; I can't promise anythibg but I'll see what I can do about it" kind of person. -
Sitting 3h in a bullshit claiming and blaming meeting called 'refinement' as 'the tech expert' while PO and customers fight how stories and bugs should be priorized and importantly enough they discussed why the god damn bugfix isn't alive yet that was promised to be deployed this morning.. I was up to deploy it right the time they said I really have to go to that meeting... Yeah.. Business as usual
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So, might be the first time ever but I have a reasonable client. Oh wait, life isn't that nice!
Boss, stop picking fights over stupid shit with the client!
Boss, actually show up to meetings you called!
Boss, do you want to get us fired from the contract?
Boss, stop threatening the client! They hold all the chips here!
Boss, actually listen to my technical advice since you are not technical!
Boss, go die in a hole!
Boss, I want your job and paycheck you do nothing!
Boss, don't tell me you are tired and we can talk tomorrow when you kept me up until 3am the previous night then called an 8am meeting!
Boss, give everybody, including the client, more than 2 hours notice for a meeting, then get pissed when the client doesnt show. They have other meetings!1 -
MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning
Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?
As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.
Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.
This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.
Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.
Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings. -
This was shit funny.
One morning, one of my colleagues got a direct call from project architect that he has to setup a meeting to explain in depth the project he has been taking care of for months and prepare a presentation and send an invite. Two weeks later we are all invited to this meeting. This colleague acting as host of this meeting prepared for few days on the PowerPoint and also a well crafted demo. Then as the architect joins, this colleague starts speaking about his role and the project. Within a minute, the architect interrupts him and says 'shut the fuck up, I don't think you are ready yet for this meeting maybe we need someone more learned...so hmm....let me explain it'. And this architect then uses his PPT for sometime and then pulls up a whiteboard and draws birds and spiders telling every time to see system in it.
My colleague is screwed to shit and is incapable to speak when closing the call.
Later ahead 4 weeks, his PPT is retouched and recoloured and attached to a Wiki page created by a unknown fucker who happens to have direct mobile calls with this architect.
Who's is faulty or not or what happened it still shocks most when this architect joins the scrum call daily. Fuck him.1 -
Is there anything nicer than having home office Friday and meeting up Monday only to discover that you were excluded from a meeting that Friday and they decided on a bunch of things that invalidates a lot of your past weeks work, making it top priority to resolve and now exceeding deadlines…3
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Tomorrow, my team will receive TV reporters for an economy magazine.
We'll have to fake a meeting and the Marketing Officer insisted that everyone has to be present.
I wanted to do teleworking on that day because of the huge strike of the public transports.
Guess who will wake up at 5:45 tomorrow morning?2 -
I use to work with a lot of people from all around the world, so i can say from the very first meeting if you are a good dev or not, and darn ! i hate the self confident devs who think they are the best, especially when they are junior !
I want to tell them : WAKE UP ! YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD !!7 -
People just can’t show up on time. I respect people’s time and I do not waste a minute of anyone s time. I do not like it. Time is a precious resource and we should all treat it as such. I expect the same from other people too.
There was a meeting supposed to happen a month or so back. Me and another guy. This meeting was basically giving him the resource utilization and some cost related details for the budget our team used up. They wanted a more granular report than the generic ones we submitted.
He scheduled it once and about ten minutes before he cancelled it. Fair enough.
A week later he sent an invite and the next day he cancelled it a few hours before the meeting. Fair enough I’m still not pissed.
A month or so since the first scheduled meeting, he scheduled a meeting and I turn up and he s not there and I wait for about half hour before I leave. Next day I get an email saying he s sorry. Now I’m pissed.
A couple weeks back he schedules a meeting and I turn up and I could see through the glass door and he s talking to someone in the room he s in. He signals to me to wait for five minutes. It takes about 20. Finally I go in and he s relieved so he can finally get the data from me. I tell him I waited for twenty minutes and I have to somewhere and asked him to reschedule the meeting. He asks when and I tell him a time where I know he won’t turn up. About 8 30 in the morning. He says yes.
Next day I show up he s not there and I wait for ten minutes and just he s walking in to the floor I exit the room and run to my place. He comes over and asks and I tell him I waited for sometime and I’m busy now and he mumbles and goes away.
By this time it is already a week or so after the deadline. The bigger boss from finance turns up and asks me why I haven’t given them the data I asked for. I tell him they schedule meetings and don’t turn up on time and my other work is getting affected productivity blah blah and he says okay make the report and give it to me. I tell him no I’m not wasting anymore time on this.
He goes to my boss creates a little ruckus my boss comes over and he goes wtf. I tell him what happened. He says it’s okay give them the report. I’m like I don’t know where I kept it must be somewhere I can’t waste anymore time on this. Guy from finance joins us at this point and angrily says he’ll find it himself and don’t need our help anymore.
The file is in my laptop I use for travel. Just a local copy. Zero fucking backups. And I just deleted it.
Fuck. You.1 -
Do your colleagues read the emails or they ignore them like mine?
The usual answer is: sorry no time to read, place a meeting.
I do not want to schedule yet another useless meeting because you are unable to read two lines of text.
If I wanted a meeting I would have scheduled it in first place.
Why have I to lose 1 hour of my time to explain, then some cannot join and ask for a follow up meeting, where I have to explain again the same things.
Obviously during the first meeting nobody has even read the description and has idea of the topic, so "we need to check... schedule another meeting next week".
You can imagine what's gonna happen the next week...1 -
Follow up to this:
https://devrant.com/rants/6403741/
So we had today a meeting....
To restart the project, as the current state is garbage.
Turns out the whole team has after two weeks of being left alone with it - kinda like the rant says - zero clue how lucene works, what it does, what its for.
In case anyone of you wonders why some managers are micromanaging biatches, there you have it.
The whole meeting had more "oooh"... "ehm".... "eh"... and other fillwords just to cover the shame of not having any clue at all.
I'm really disappointed that a team of up to 5 people really thought they could pull a stunt of "fake it till you make it". Collectively. Really noone had a real clue.
Now to an interesting discussion: How would you devs reprimand them?
:)
Just curious. Firing is out of option, for several reasons, e.g. law.
Serious answers, I would be really curious. :)
I'm feeling sad for the socks metaphoric in the last rant btw.
Even a cum socket deserves more dignity than them imho.6 -
Pro tip: don’t accept a meeting with a potential employer for the beginning of your holidays (I know, ’muricans, you don’t get this concept where basically everyone taked paid vacation for several weeks during summer) so that you’ll end up thinking about whether to jump ship or not for most of your holidays, effectively ruining your time to potentially relax for you.
Just don’t do it. -
I hate unnecessary meetings. It is a waste of my productive time. Also I hate daily stand ups that becomes a regular meeting with question and answer portion lol
It is like they are lazy creating a separate meeting for specific concerns and just brings it up in the daily stand ups lol nice way of doing agile things lol1 -
We have a brand new employee who won't ever shut the hell up. He likes talking about "my scripts" a whole lot. Guy really loves scripts. He'd admitted to copying these strings from his previous company.
We had an all-tech meeting today and he went on and on, talking about what was at this old company. He's so damn annoying. Listening to him is pure cringe.7 -
I was attending a client demo meeting and all of a sudden a tone comes up from behind. And it's Clash of clans.
Coc kills boredom1 -
Suit on, tie on, first meeting on a web project I quoted on 16 months ago (and won). frantically wading through notes and quote from the time. Think i’ll just wing it and up the price a bit.
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Hey Fellow devRanters in Jakarta, let's meet up!
Let's have our first devRant meeting?
And join here: https://t.me/joinchat/...26 -
Sometimes I really feel humiliated in my lab.
We have several presentation/discussion groups in my lab that meet once a week or so where members present their progress reports. Generally people in my lab are not so enthusiastic about them. Which is okay, I also don't like doing presentations, but you know, you have to improve somehow and get feedback somehow.
So I've been in a really passive group for a while and I decide to join this other group since they seem to have good discussions, but nope fuck me.
The first time I present, the professor doesn't show up since he has some meeting, so obviously nobody cares to show up. And I'm there presenting for a guy who is half comatose. Alright, I guess that's the price for joining a new team, it's gonna get better next time.
Second time. Spent all night to prepare my presentation and been training my model for two weeks. I am actually really happy with the results of my networks. But the enjoyment of showing some good results, I shall not have.
Meeting leader doesn't show up. Two guys who should present don't show up. Professor doesn't show up. A different professor substitutes him and has no idea what I am talking about and asks stupid questions that don't really have an answer. Fuck me, I'm so angry, this shit is a waste of time. If you don't show up, care to fucking send an email or a message on slack, but guess you're too fucking retarded to even do that.
I'm so done with this. I've gotten better feedback from reddit, than what I've cumulatively gotten from my laboratory. I'm a moment away from walking up to the meeting leader and telling him that the meetings are stupid and a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, my professor is really nice and knowledgeable, but he fails to see that some people in the laboratory are shit.
What do I do? How do I deal with these people? Right now they're planning a trip! Why are you planning a trip? WHAT ARE YOU REWARDING YOURSELVES FOR? YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING IN WEEKS? omfg3 -
Some advice please: In our last sprint meeting my manager told the whole team that I broke something. What he didn't say was that he was also responsible for that. He generally has the habit of accusing others to cover up for his own faults. I don't care, I own up to my mistakes. Any witty but nice responses if he tries that again? I'd like to answer "Man, I don't even feel bad" but that would be too sarcastic.3
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Our Daily Stand Up literally became a meeting with discussions and Q&A portion. Greater than 30 minutes LOL8
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do you guys think multitasking is a high standard? at work we deem it essential, but i wonder if it's too much to expect new people to pick up on our pace. if we're not coding in a meeting while answering texts and emails, we're not getting anything done13
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Who else hates weekly 1:1 meetings with managers? I’m the kind of person where if I have a problem or need to talk about something, I’ll do as much as I can first and then I’ll set up a meeting. No need to force it with a recurring meeting where we just reiterate the stuff we already discussed as needed during the week or, lacking that, engaging in small talk to fill the time. At this company, where I’m at in the hierarchy, and with me being a straight, white, old male in a team full of diversity hires, there is zero point at all to discussing potential promotion opportunities. We both know that’s not happening for anyone like me. If you want to have that discussion to keep up appearances, just put a gun in my hand and a round in the chamber and tell me to point it at my head and pull the trigger. Because we both know that’s what this world wants me to do and that is the only way I’ll be moving “up” anywhere in this universe at my age and with my “privilege”.
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Context: large project moves to touch friendly UI, request and initial specs late last year, specs initial mockups early this year, designer promises final design before end of Q1.
Two sprints into development no fucking design, meeting today about it, designer has no fucking clue about what we actually agreed to last time. Promises again to have it for next time.
What the actual fuck? How difficult it is to least read up the fucking notes and do your fucking job that you are being paid for? Had a half fucking year!
After meeting...
Me: why do we even keep him around?
Pm: he is really overbooked...
Me: my balls are overbooked, don't promise if you can't deliver! (Leaves meeting room)
Fairly confident that this is the last project with this guy...
Am I the only one who just hates working with designers?2 -
Was an internal auditor translating department process to a technical spec for a programmer. We were going to leverage an external company's API which would replace our need to use their slow and buggy web app.
During a meeting, an audit teammate suggested something be changed with the external service we were using. I said we could bring it up with the company but we shouldn't rely on it because we were a small customer even during out busiest month (200 from us vs 10000+ from big banks).
Teammate said we should have our programming team fix it. I made it clear that it was not our side and that to build out the service on our side was beyond our scope. Teammate continued to bring it up during the meeting then went back to desk after meeting and emailed us all marked up screenshots of the feature.
I ignored this and finished writing up the specs, sending them over to the programmer building out the service.
30 minutes later I get a call from programmer's manager who was quite angry at an expanded scope that was impossible (engineers were king at this company. Best not to anger them). Turns out my teammate had emailed his own spec to the programmers full of impossible features that did not reference the API docs.
I feel bad about it now but I yelled at my teammate quite loudly. I said he was spending time on something that was not reasonable or possible and when they continued to talk about their feature I yelled even louder.
Didn't get fired but it definitely tagged me as an asshole until I left. Fair enough :) -
5 minutes before the meeting, I get refreshed and start setting everything up. All in a sonic speed rush. Always feels like a movie! :D1
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I feel very terrible. Attending meetings, not able to say anything, I get anxious, my face gets red and heart starts to race. I was never able to get through this situation. This is a big thing, if I set up a meeting to discuss, due to the anxiety I am not able to question anything. I could make a difference that every now and then I ask something basic but due to anxiety I couldn't understand the answer and end up saying yes to thess things although I couldn't understand.
I tried preparing for the meetings but that doesn't work as generally something comes up that I didn't expect and I get so nervous.7 -
2 things that piss me off as a professional developer doing contract work...
1. A fellow dev accepts a meeting invite, doesn’t show up and won’t pick up the phone.
2. A fellow dev taking a meeting in a noisy place with bad wifi.
This guy has now managed to pull #1 last week and #2 this week...
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So I'm in college and I work as a web developer for a company inside of the college. I get out of my four hour class on mondays early to get a call from my PM saying that he totally spaced on the fact that we have a meeting in a half hour. Needless to say I quickly brought up what I had done, ran back to the office, and then proceeded with the client meeting when I got there.
The meeting went fine. Client was happy with the progress I had made. My IT lead however went on an hour rant with me on some of the things I said in the meeting and then berated for over an hour. (There's more context go look at a my other rants and you'll find it. )
Needless to say I was pissed. I had made the deliverable the client was pleased and I showed up to an unscheduled meeting. I was this close to decking my IT lead he made me so mad. -
Sitting in a meeting. PM asks if we can go with the schedule management has agreed with the customer.
So, now what do you expect us to say? We can say no, but if it's already settled up the hierarchy levels, it will not have any effect.5 -
When you pick up a codebase from 4 years ago of utter dissaray and static/hard coded in nature.
Then later meet said original developer presenting at a conference on re-useable code.
There is a feeling akin to meeting someone whom you have seen naked...2 -
Meeting scheduled with a client to train them how to edit things in their new WordPress site for 11 am today. At 9 the account manager walks into my office and tells me the meeting will be starting at 10, and in addition to that we will be starting with the web stuff because the analytics team didn't do any of their reports.
The time is now 1130 and I still haven't heard from the client. I'm afraid to start anything big because as soon as I do the client will show up, but I don't want to just sit here and wait. I have been knocking out the little things on my to-do list for an hour now while I sit here with the team and "discuss the meeting points."
Why can't clients respect my time? If I say I'm going to call you at 3 your phone is ringing at 3, if I say I'm going to show up to fix your workstation at 1215, then I will be there at 1215. -
Received insider information about my magazine. Two possible things cab happen tomorrow:
- I wake up tomorrow and we go through our first meeting of the year (general meeting happen three times a year) and everything is fine
- I wake up tomorrow as the new editor for my section but at the cost of my closest friend leaving the magazine.2 -
had my boss ask me to automate reports on our emails... he wanted me to use google script. the 6min limit was killing me. we needed up sacrificing accuracy and going another route with VBA done by my co worker. I have a meeting next week with my boss's boss about how we did it and I don't know VBA.1
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Got my first Dev job nearly two months ago at a small start up (only 2 devs atm)
Yesterday during meeting boss says
"We're now much stronger than we were before (about development)"
First positive feedback and it felt godly. -
My first rant: I need to appease multiple managers with custom software solutions and each manager has their own view as to how it "should be."
This leads to the FUN of having each offer their conflicting suggestions and thinking I am the issue if something is not implemented - or if something isn't.
No, I didn't forget or mess up. It's impossible to appease everyone! I'm going to need to set up a meeting sometime to tell them all to work it out among themselves...2 -
I provide training for our clients on our company CMS after having built them their sites.
I once had 3 ladies could me in for their FREE training session who were incredibly rude. They I territories me mid sentence to talk about unrelated stuff, spoke over me, were clearly uninterested in learning the system, and devolved the meeting into their own board meeting.
I didn't know how to deal with such rudeness without being rude back long story short they left having learned nothing, too dumb to work the system out themselves and I find ways to be unhelpful each time they ring up to ask for support they haven't paid for...4 -
Never have I ever been nervous about a meeting. Clients come to me all the time requesting a meeting. I've had positive reviews ever since I started.
However two days ago I received an email about an interview that takes place in the morning. And I decided to fuck up my fucking beard in tryig to groom it! FUCK!2 -
Setting up the meeting agenda in an accessible place (the same doc used for every recurring meeting which is accessible by everyone in the team) and having the calendar invite that goes to their emails... And guess what?
Those SCABBY NUMPTIES still find a way not to see the fucking video conference link (or sort out their calendar, they are freaking CS grads) and then proceed to spend at least half the meeting (and often showing up late) not having a clue what was expected of them...
YA DIMWIT!! EVERYTHING IS IN THE SAME DOCUMENT, AND YET YOU DIDN'T KNEW WHAT TASKS YOU HAD TO DO BEFORE, INCLUDING THE ONES YOU WERE TOLD TO DO WEEKS AGO???
They all have a BSc in CS (one of which has a MSc) and yet shit like this happens occasionally.
And that happened several times.2 -
Class normal people:
Def good day:
"Manager was out, had great lunch, got a. special someone's number, successfully avoided traffic, got in special someone's pants"
Def bad day:
"Stubbed toe this morning, rained all day, broke up w. special someone, sat in traffic for 2 hrs"
Class software dev:
Def good day:
"Wrote lots of working code, little to no bugs, checked in no-probs, ahead od schedule for ship, extra time for ping-pong!"
Def bad day:
"Somone fucked up the latest build, coffee machine's broken, ran out of adderall, manager on everyone's @$$ for a fix, 5 hrs later...no fix, no blames, no coffee, board meeting; fml" -
Special work area meeting. Partners from around the globe came in. Call in or you flew in. Close enough, have to attend in person. Hundreds of people there. Starts at 9, broke at noon, picked back up at 1, ended at 6. Focus? Improving sales. About 98% of the people there did not make sales. About 70% did not work on bids and proposals. It was extremely painful and boring. And my project manager didn't know why we were so upset the next day. It had been extremely "informative" to her.1
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A friend introduced me to mIRC and told me it's a good place to meet girls. I however ended up meeting people who showed me nice things you can do with HTML.
From that I learnt other stuff such as mIRC scripting, Flash action script, etc... -
Sitting in a meeting discussing writing end user docs on a new feature and one of the product managers literally said "we'll end up picking a number out of the air."
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I’m so glad I work at a company without a dev ops... it’s so much smoother and money isn’t wasted on a non engineer, or someone who can’t jump in and assist where needed.
We have a weekly team meeting including the mech, elec and software guys... then we have a weekly open issue meeting per project only those on the project go to. We all know what we need to do individually and we just get it done... no need for the middle man dev ops to divide up tasks and shit.. we hear the issues straight from the product owners and get to work... we don’t have defined structured scrums and burn downs...it’s very agile tho.. much like how engineers 40 years ago achieved things. It’s quite awesome.6 -
Internship/Career Question
I was able to get a referral for a software engineering internship at a company I like this summer. This will be my first “real-life” internship and I’m super excited.
The referral ended up getting me an interview with the company’s “Principal Talent Attraction Consultant”.
What show I expect for this meeting? Is it possible that there is a whiteboarding part of this interview? Or would it be more general?
Lmk if I’m being too vague. Thanks guys!3 -
So funny thing happen yesterday night. I was attending a small talk at a meeting here in our town where one guy had to present some unconventional "React" methods and the other one had to present "ClosureScript".
The "React" guy didn't show up, and the "Closure" guy told us that this compiler is multi-threading but in fact by his examples was single-threading.
So instead of learning new stuff in there I just laugh my ass off because of this event. -
The go-getter boss sets us up on basecamp. ( Mind you, this is just two weeks after starting us on Slack )
The first topic of discussion he puts out is "What would you suggest to improve meetings?" Considering the business genius has cancelled the past 5 office meetings, I replied with "The key to a successful meeting is actually having them."
Basecamp's been pretty quite ever since.1 -
Our project using Agile methodology, we have every day stand-up meeting(scrum meeting) that normally end around 10 to 15 minutes with 7 ppl.
One day The Project Owner came and join our stand-up meeting that cost us like sprint planning
And The Project Owner did not stop there, he come again next day for the 1 week.
Because of that our product backlogs and Sprint Planning goes haywire.
We failed to delivery what we planned for that project. -
Traditional meeting when sales says "I need a technical guy for this meeting" and I ended up being the only "technical" guy in the room. Best of these meetings was when the customer would ask me about sales questions, disguised as "technical" ones...1
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...following on from a post below (by @TobyAsE) about meeting up in London - Anyone in Berlin between 8th and 12th October? I’m heading to the IFRA Expo (http://www.ifra-expo.com/home.html) and would be great to see a bit of the city if anyone’s free n’ just want to kick back with a beer!
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Last week a client had a meeting regarding an app I built for them for this one time project. This meeting occurred Monday.
Thursday I get a call at 8 am where they ask if they can get some fixups regarding the UI by Friday.
This despite the client knowing I work more than full time at another company and only take his business on the side.
Why does this always happen? You deliver a product and don't hear from the clients for days or weeks and suddenly they pop up and ask for a fix by the next day?
Ugh...4 -
A meeting with an external event organizer, who just so happened be a rather attractive woman. I've never had so many superfluous colleagues (all guys) show up and show off.
That meeting went long.1 -
BossMan asks me to set up meeting with head engineer tomorrow about integrating 3rd party software. He thinks it bada bing bada boom and the software will get be implemented but I know better he doesn't even know what one of there many products he wants. How do I not embarrass myself in front if the head engineer? I am a full stack student and hope one day to work for this company in a dev role. What should I do?
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So I'm in college and I work as a web developer for a company inside of the college. I get out of my four hour class on mondays early to get a call from my PM saying that he totally spaced on the fact that we have a meeting in a half hour. Needless to say I quickly brought up what I had done, ran back to the office, and then proceeded with the client meeting when I got there.
The meeting went fine. Client was happy with the progress I had made. My IT lead however went on an hour rant with me on some of the things I said in the meeting and then berated for over an hour. (There's more context go look at a my other rants and you'll find it. )
Needless to say I was pissed. I had made the deliverable the client was pleased and I showed up to an unscheduled meeting. I was this close to decking my IT lead he made me so mad. -
During a stand up meeting, boss turns up to us and says: "Who can stay later today?" Many hands rise. Turns up to new dude, who isn't performing that well: "that performance report automation, it is due tomorrow now. Fuck it. Get it done." Left at 21:30 from the office with an MVP but I usually arrive at 7:00 so I was fucking exhausted. Now, my question is: who am I supposed to be pissed off? The boss who went apeshit on the new dude or the new dude that isn't getting shit done?4
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15 mins in our weekly dev meeting, boss comes in sits down and starts talking about a project. After that he stands up and brings one of the designer in and begins to make some stuff up we could add. Are you kidding me? That is a dev meeting, he is not even supposed to be there. How rude disturbing a meeting so he can discuss stuff we could discuss later-.-1
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When you go out to have a client meeting, then the client doesn't show up (and you only learn they won't show up after you have texted them twice).
Looks like I need to start sending out meeting reminder emails again.... -
got kicked out of a contract today because the owner felt I wasn't moving at the pace he wanted, there were no milestones but even i knew I was slow.
this happened when I started talking to a therapist because I was beginning to have suicidal thoughts and anxiety issues.
I had to run work errands for my everly screaming mom and manipulative dad.
these same people who I begged with no success for money to buy a used core 2 duo laptop for programming projects.
I was in the bus in the afternoon sun trying to get three books from a publisher that ended up being a waste of time because she didn't follow instructions and insisted on screaming over the phone at the attendant. the client requested a meeting and I couldn't respond positively,
I get home and my dad wants me to travel down to our village home to meet with some kid he kept giving money because they wanted to have a meeting. I'm so annoyed because I told him I wanted this week off to face this already dead contract and he just ignores all of that and fixes a meeting.
I pay for electricity and gas for these people and they still treat me like shit. fuck this !1 -
- the 2 hr meeting called for every day of a week, to prepare for a PPT which is to be presented to a higher up exec within 5 mins.
- the sprint planning meeting, where all the stories of that sprint are already weighted and assigned to the devs, but it still goes for 2 hrs
- the backlog grooming meeting, where instead of looking at the sprint backlog, the current sprint is looked at and discussed. -
Meeting just after given a vacation to the whole company. We had 1 week of no work. Everyone of us including the boss went on a vacation together. He sets up a meeting the very next day at 8:00 fucking AM . Sent at 10 PM. Like nigga . Let me reset and prepare my mind ffs. That was a ridiculous meeting recently just for the sheer fuck of it.1
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People need respect other people’s time, you set up a meeting 2 minutes before and you wonder why I am not attending 🤦🏿
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Fellow devs, I want to hear your opinions on Scrum and daily stand up meetings. Do you think they're necessary?
God, I really hate that I'm required to participate in a meeting EVERY FUCKING DAY.6 -
Sprint planning meeting going nuts with 8 people shouting over each other and people standing up out of chairs to be heard.... Craziness.... Went in with expectation of just making skeleton of the user stories and discussed nitty gritty implementation details
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Last year we had a meeting to discuss lessening the frequency of meetings and let people work more of the day. After a three hours, it was decided that nothing was getting solved, resulting in three more meetings to be added to the calendar to follow up.
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For those who knew, my computer crashed https://devrant.io/rants/625625/...
Now I have to set up my computer for ionic and angular and native script and whatever.
It's a bit tedious...
I'm lazy I like visual studio... All ready. -
The worst kind of people to work with are the ones that you tell a heads up, don't do this, it will cause problems, but happens anyway and in team meeting "I didn't know, no one told me" and it just makes you look worse to even argue it....
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Stand-up meeting at 9:00 AM in the boardroom. It's called stand-up meeting but everyone will be sitting lolz...
I hate this Monday meetings, too many stupid talk. PM mostly doesn't have any clue about the project. I bet she didn't update the client last Friday. -
Who has/had a colleague who after discussing an idea in a meeting will go :
'I just think of @insert_previously_mentionned_idea'
Like wtf... Didn't you hear me explaining the hole idea ?
Everyday I work my ass off to help the company forward and everytime he manages to turn things around like it was all his idea and he came up with it.3 -
Follow up on this rant : https://devrant.com/rants/1768571/...
I got answers !
One asked me for my availabilities and I'm waiting for a response with a meeting.
The other one is going to call me tomorrow for a phone interview.
Do you have some tips for me ? -
Had a new dev take us to merge conflict hell due to rebasing... we have meeting saying we are going to do git flow.....
manager who agreed makes branch project/releaseName based off of develop only to have us mr to that branch to then mr back to develop....
Had massive conflicts mr into that branch (i kept up to develop) and then had conflicts mr that branch to develop........ on a sunday night... great2 -
A parade of planning meetings every Monday where the whole executive team (including the CEO) sits in. Each meeting was an hour long and it took up their whole day.
It was ridiculous how unproductive that was. Continues to this day AFAIK! -
So, been working for almost 2 weeks now at the new job. Worked fairly much on one of their sites and today they have a meeting with the client regarding this site. Ofcourse now is the moment for this site to be f'd up. OFCOURSE!
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Honestly I've had good luck, every single boss I've ever had has been great up until the most recent project manager (not people manager) at my latest consultant gig.
Guy was 60+, had the mindset that NOTHING can get done without a meeting, and that your ass in a seat is the most important metric of true productivity.
Coming from a mostly remote background with 50% travel, this was a huge pain in the neck to deal with for the last 2 months.
Luckily he's gone now (no one liked him...who would have thought). -
[serious] !rant
I need your advice. I'm a junior developer and I overslept and missed not only a stand up meeting but a review as well and I feel like shit. This is my first time missing a meeting, though I feel like I've dirtied my name a bit. Am I holding myself to too high of a standard or am I rightfully upset with myself, and how do I make it right? Should I be concerned about losing my job?15 -
!= rant
All devs Rise and show your creative prowess!
@ https://tadhack.com/2017/global/
Its a fun hackington where i have been before a few times, run only by volunteers.
I tink some people on devrant here also would be interested in this event.
i am also going and hope te see more devranters there! ID't by there laptop stickers!1 -
That smug moment when you've just come back off holiday and reel off all the awesome shit you got up to during the scrum stand up meeting 😏
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Friday morning's meeting:
CTO: Ok guys, deadline is next Friday so today we close the last big issues and next week no more new features, only bug fixing.
Monday morning's meeting:
Business: So here is the new mock-up for the search feature (basically they changed the whole behavior).
😐1 -
Tomorrows meeting couldn't be more messed up
•boss(we are kind a thing now)and her ex sitting at the same table while she tries not to kill him
•me sitting there with someone else's shitty website with 20 day old code to show as a back end (previous dev was a cunt and deleted all copies from everywhere)
•them expecting a junior dev to build a whole accounting package on the 20day old code
•deadline 3weeks
• crying on the inside 😱😱😱5 -
In a meeting about how to make the app I am working on worse. They want the same ad to pop up every ten minutes during live video to plug and get sign ups for a newsletter. And in mobile they want it to take over the entire screen. It's so user unfriendly.2
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!rant
There is an applicant for a dev position coming in today for an interview and a short coding exam. I'm looking forward to walking by the meeting room while they are doing the exam and seeing the anxiety on their face while I give a completely useless thumbs up.
Hmm...code compiled. I've earned a coffee break. -
The most efficient meeting you can have is the one that you don't have to go to.
Basically if a meeting is proposed and it's a pure waste of time. Just don't show up, spend time wisely. -
What is the general rule/idea around meetings outside of your work hours?
It has happened several times that I wasn't able to join some meetings that were outside of my work hours. I try to join but some thing or the other comes up and then I miss it. I make sure to join any meeting that's highly important or if it's about anything related to my work (or if I'm required to attend).
I work with people in different time zones and there was a meeting set after 8:30pm my time, and I wasn't able to join. My coworker messaged me, in a passive aggressive way (seemingly), asking if he needs to remind me before every meeting in my calendar so that I would join.
I feel like I'm not being paid enough for the work that I do, and I work around 8-9 hours (sometimes 10 and I don't get paid for overtime).
On top of that, am I obligated to attend every meeting and not have anything planned or unplanned to do after work hours? (I don't think I should have any obligation)
I don't have previous experience of working with international teams/clients before, so I'm not sure what I should do here.9 -
Going to do our first social engineering pen test. We're setting up a general plan and we'll call for a meeting with a company next week. Any tips?5
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Imagine you are in a small BPO company and your client work hours is 2pm - 10pm. Then your BPO manager will set up a 1 hour meeting at 8am 🤣 so basically your personal time will be used for that meeting.
Good luck to your body clock 😂2 -
1) make a ordered list
2) prepare the props
3) specify a talking order
4) fuck everything because everyone does everything they want anyway
5) get a brutal amount of coffee*
funfact: my longest recent meeting was supposed to go for 30 minutes but we ended up talking about the position of a fucking infobox for 4 1/2 hours
What was your longest recent meeting?
*replace coffee with your favourite "fuck you, I am pretending to be awake" drink -
@#!@!&#! Hangouts! Need to attend Jangouts meeting. Installed app on cellphone as desktop doesn't have a mic. Figured out way how to open correct meeting in the Hangouts app (opening it on desktop and then it shows in mobile app), made sure whenever I spoke green bars were going up. Found out that I shouldn't mite myself as unmuting doesn't work. Ok, it's fragile, let's not touch it. Figured all this half an hour before the conference. And when others join, found out that they can't understand me as sound capturing is somehow screwed up and it's doing just noise!
I really need to look into jangouts and convince others to switch conferencing system. -
Customer pays an extra charge ($) for using a thing over time. Unlike some customers this charge isn't broken out separately anywhere is and actually it is hidden in an overall bill / number they receive that is just a non itmized sum of a bunch of stuff...
They want an accurate number.
This request came up in a meeting and it was so bonkers that it had to be repeated like 8x ;)
The repetition isn't so bad really as at least it indicates everyone was all "uh wait wut!!?!?" -
Had a 2 hour meeting where I was told to use Specflow for all of our unit and integration testing. It'll be easier for the business to read.
Spent 3 hours setting up the tests for the scenarios for the next story.
Had another 2 hour meeting where they decided it was a bad idea to wrap all unit and integration tests in gherkin...because the business users don't want to read gherkin... -
A productive meeting requires:
1. an agenda that covers every aspect that the meeting should be about
2. Everyone at the meeting gets a chance to provide feedback and or speak about their role in the project and what's the hold up.
3. All participants or at least a dedicated one takes notes about what is covered so that people aren't asking the same questions the very next day. -
That moment when the project lead shows up with a fake smile at 11pm Friday after a 3 week crunch and tells you the last two days of ridiculous overwork from 9 am to 6 am where pointless because Mr. big shot CEO has a better idea for the meeting with the client on Monday.
So now so we have to work over the clock the whole weekend to cover their managing failures.1 -
Any time there is a meeting it is the worst.
Suddenly, there's a voice in my head that constantly says, "shut the fuck up!"
I want to let that voice out but that'd just be poor "soft skills."
Oh well.
When I sit down at look at code again the voice will go away.. Or will it?1
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