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Me as a kid: "I'm gonna make new operating system 🤓"
Me today: "I'm gonna make hello world program 🤓"4 -
rookie dev : "to my senior, im gonna ask you the basic questions instead of googling it. Im gonna disturb you every now and then.... just kidding"
9 -
Started Computer Science class yesterday, but i code like 12 years. My fellow mates mostly never coded in their life. They think its gonna be easy. They think they will have a social life. They think their gonna get sleep.
Those fools.11 -
Colleague was doing something with a switch, wasn't working, he went to get another one:
C: hmm, this one isn't working, I'm gonna get another one.
Me: so you're gonna SWITCH them?
C: 😑😬
😅5 -
Me visiting a bar...
While going for a smoke...
Woman: Can I ask you a very impolite and downright rude question..?
*expects a Facebook hacking question*
Me (hesitant): .. sure, ask ahead...
Woman: I've never seen you here before. Who are you?
Me: *tells name*
(thinking) not what I expected! (:
Woman: So you're living mostly on the internet?
Me: yeah pretty much... 🤔
Woman: So I live here next to that lawyer...
Me: I don't know most of the area here, where's that?
Woman: Why don't you look it up, hmm? 😜
Quality pwnage!! 😆19 -
Never gonna git you up
Never gonna pull you down
Never gonna fork away
it's a bad day!
Never gonna git you up
Never gonna commit again
Never gonna get issues
That's how it goes3 -
JS gets a lot of hate lately.
The last month I was developing a mobile app that just showed information. I have to say ionic2 was quite good for it. Sure it's not native but I think it's a good thing for some apps
13 -
> be me
> install linux on encrypted drive
> takes 8 hours to fill the drive with fake data so theres no chance of data leakage
> save encryption password to phone
> phone doesnt actually save password
> realize you dont have access to pc anymore
> cry
> reinstall linux7 -
This one, is for all you haters out there tonight!
.
.
.
.
Cause I'm PHP, I'm dynamite
PHP and I'll win the fight
PHP. I'm a power load
PHP, watch me explode()
I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I'm a wanted code
Public enemy number one
Understand7 -
Today I'm gonna try to do a few push ups or sit ups every time my code fails to compile. Do you think I'm gonna be a better coder or a body builder at the end of the day?6
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I personally hate 360 videos. I mean, am I gonna watch this area? Am I gonna watch that area? What if I miss something from the other area?10
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Teacher:"We're gonna write client side javascript, todays javascript is fast enough"
Me: "ok, cool, are we gonna use ECMA6 or Harmony?"
Teacher: "we need to keep it supportable for all platforms, so we are gonna use ECMA4"
Me:( internal screaming )8 -
Start-up: hires 3 junior devs to save money.
Start-up: expects things to get done faster-- BUT-- Start-up keeps adding things to the TO-DO list and backlog-- i.e. it's all relative!!
Start-up: gets angry at 3 junior devs why they can't deliver when they keep adding tasks and ask we fall behind.
Dev team: "Seriously? You hire more devs to finish tasks faster, but you keep adding more than are being finiahed-- obviously it's gonna take longer now regardless"
Git --pull life together2 -
Me in 2015: think I'm gonna learn JavaScript.
Me in 2017: think I'm gonna learn JavaScript.
It's like that ex you always want to call but you keep thinking she's moved on...7 -
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK MICROSOFT?!!
I go to log into my laptop:
me: *enter the pin*
Windows: Error
me: Ok let's try the password...
Win: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: *checking my password manager* Nope, pretty sure that's correct... Ok, whatever let's try to reset it.
me: *generates new password and resets the password for the account*
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new password*
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: that's weird... let's try that again
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: Ok... reset once more *I enter the same password I generated before*
Windows: ThAt Is An OlD pAsSwOrD
me: *getting really pissed* FINE, GODDAMIT, HERE, NEW PASSWORD
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new new password*
Windows: wRoNg PaSsWoRd!
jdjsjcjj+3+@!o(€;#@!(&(1!!#((#(€_"jsjeucjcjfdjosdifhshabxnfnxjsosoguwqlqqlall#7@+1(
aaaaaáaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT CUNTS AT MICROSOFT!!!!!1!!!!!!!
I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOU INTO THOUSAND PIECES AND THEN RUN YOU THROUGH A SHREDDER!!
YOU MOTHERFUCKING IDIOTIC CUNTS
FREAKING DEGENERATES22 -
Just asked a girl if she knows java cz I was gonna try a programming pickup line on her. She said yes she knows languages like java, blue j, netbeans.
Guess *that* IDE isn't gonna autocomplete me.
Badum tss -
I've decided to tattoo "RTFM" across the knuckles on my right hand. One day I'm gonna snap and instead saying it, I'm gonna punch someone in the face and they should know why.4
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I was gonna write some code, but Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna write for browser or Node but Tomcat stopped by
Now I’m covered in cat hair and I know why
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna follow through but Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna study algorithms too but Tomcat stopped by
Now I’m DevRanting this song and I know why
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
11 -
So you're gonna underpay me when you know damn well I'm the best dev you've had in at least the last year? Guess who's gonna learn DVORAK on a QWERTY11
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I love it when my clients give me free reign to choose the software.
I'm gonna set up nginx with flask on Ubuntu 16.04 on DigitalOcean.
It's gonna be great :D. -
We're no strangers to code
You know the conventions and so do I
A full commit is what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other dev
I just want to tell you about my problem
Gotta make you solve it for me
Never gonna git you up, never pull you down
Never gonna rant around and rebase you
Never gonna merge your branch, never gonna say $#@*!!
Never gonna risk a cry and build you2 -
Pair-programming... I can't pin-point an exact time, but nearly every time I do pair up and program with someone I have a blast.
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Why the fuck did i rent a hugeass aparment when i spend 99% in one room?? Im gonna home office today in the kitchen just to be efficient. Also gonna wait out the ligma outbreak here :/12
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-I'm gonna learn C for real
-I'm gonna configure Vim
-I'm gonna try November
-Emacs with Evil mode is a better Vim
-I'm gonna learn eLisp
-I'm gonna learn functional programming
-Gonna use clojure for everything now!
-init.el is 400 lines long
int main() {printf("Hello World!");}
Success! 🤦♂️1 -
How I confused an Indian co-worker.
I noticed that his office desk was using a multi-outlet power strip connected to another one, and then one more after that, because the cable length was too short.
Me: pointing out that this is not allowed in our company.
Him: dafuq-look.
Me: yeah, electrical safety, we need to replace this. Gonna ask IT whether they have something (they did), replaced it.
Him: different dafuq-look.
Me: I guess that's the most German thing you've run into, right?
Him: uh, yes, but I can see the point. :)9 -
Cool things I found out recently™:
[#1, August 2017]
1) devRant (hehe~ ★)
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
2) DeepL Translator
https://www.deepl.com
3) Lanota (an awesome mobile music/rhythm game) (I'm fanboying too much about it, sorry :'D)
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
4) Burrito Galaxy 65
http://burritogalaxy.com
5) USB type C Simulator
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
6) bill wurtz('s YouTube channel. Heh, you thought I was just gonna call a person "a thing"?)
https://youtube.com/user/billwurtz/
---
What do you think? What is your list? ^^9 -
"Did you learn anything while looking over those old scripts?"
Me: "I think that if I'm gonna work here I'm gonna need to resolve some hatred I have towards Visual Basic."1 -
You're gonna use the 3D printer she said… You're gonna learn JavaScript she said… nope, all we learnt was three HTML tags that confused most people1
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Ok, I see a lot of hate about PHP and I always wondered what is the experiences people have had with PHP to like or dislike it.
Personally, PHP was the first programming language I learnt and used, so it has it's special place in my heart.
I acknowledge that it has it's pros and cons (as any other programming language). My hypothesis is : People have used php in a project they didn't like or didn't turned out how they expected. Or they used php for something it wasn't ment for.
Do people hate php because it's a trend ? How many php haters have good reasons to hate it that much ?
I'm just curious to know the thoughts and experiences (good or bad) of other devs.11 -
Not gonna lie. I’m in the mood to make a game and I’m gonna try it. I think it’ll be fun. Wish me luck!
For anyone curious I’m gonna be using Godot because it’s not bad and It’s not nearly as fat as Unreal and Unity. They’re not bad just not what I want rn.6 -
Chrome's that kid who used to come over to your house growing up, who would raid your pantry and eat all of your food.5
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The only reason that's gonna push me to go to university is gonna be social life... being at CERN is great and all, but socially speaking it's a lacking environment :/ Especially for us youngsters6
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When my boss say "we gonna build a new software and we gonna use JS" I start wondering if i really need this job12
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Ok tomorrow I'm gonna kidnap one dev or two and I'm gonna release them only when I fully fucking understand how to fucking send an image to a private registry goddamnit
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So... I finally decided to secure my VPS, so I started with sudo less /var/log/auth.log ...
Short story, not even gonna read every line, just gonna reset my VPS lol10 -
Designing the schematics for a cake I'm about to make
Update soon!
Can anyone guess what it's gonna be? It's gonna be a 3d model made from slices
7 -
I Fucking hate people!!!!!
Im not a nazi but i hate people.!
I hate every one! White， blqck， yellow， beige， purple and dont get me started on the orange ones!!!
I hate people woth physical disabilities， i hate people with mental disabilities， hell i hate people who hate disabilities.
I hate people.
I hate people who are isually good but only occasionnaly bad， i hate people who are bad， i also hate people who are nice bur dont know shit about coding.
I hate emos as well even if i sound like one.
I juse hate people and for that i hate myself....
Makes me want to listent to tayler swift no shit.16 -
Fucking spam
Useless pieces of shit
Targeting my dad, fools, he has me 🤡
I'm gonna flood you with fake emails and passwords
So much that you will stop spamming and then I'll continue a little bit, just to be safe
Fucking bastards1 -
I have decided. On my laptop for work Im gonna switch over to Ubuntu in April.
Im gonna say farewell windows for webdevelopment.11 -
If there's something wrong in the server room
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If the hard drive's grilled
And it don't look good
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If you're seeing keys in your'r github's HEAD
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Your PC's on fire
and the website's dead
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Disclaimer: My internship was a pretty cool time actually... :) -
Been thinking of doing this for years. But I think I'm finally gonna try it.
I want to dual boot my PC. Probably gonna go with Arch Linux + Plasma KDE.4 -
I'm fairly new here, so I can't wait to see that one person who knows nothing about tech or software development/engineering join devRant and have no clue what anything is.
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- Got one more section to rewrite from this thesis and I'll be done. (except for stuff after review)
- Have zero ass to sit down and actually do the final trims.
Smh.3 -
Going on a road trip and brought my laptop with me, I’m gonna take a small break from my project and test some stuff and learn some libraries, also gonna sit outside and just enjoy everything.2
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Honestly so scared about starting work, I definitely know I'm not that great of a programmer despite doing alright in university :(10
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Gonna have 8 hours of exam in C without eating or have a little break. I love this but I'm gonna be so tired4
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So.. There is this meeting today that 70% is gonna be nontechnical bullshit and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be there thinking about anything but focusing on it....2
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Sometimes I think that my computer is possessed.
The story goes like this (typical): adding a new feature creates a bug with something that worked perfectly until now. I find and solve the bug in a few minutes. Now the spooky part: with that sort of bug, even the code that worked up to now shouldn't have worked. But it did. Does someone knows a good Ghostbusters service?1 -
Finally got these sexy stickies. Gonna put them on my ASUS bastard when its back from repairs.
Thanks devs ! Gonna spread the world.
4 -
Why didn't I learn about property overloading before. So much copy and pasting I could have saved.
Well the drawback of selflearning :)
(yes I know about the perfomance but it doesn't matter on this project ) -
A developer's true soul mate is a designer. It's like yin and yang. They will make a perfect couple atleast in professional sense.
If I'm gonna marry, she's gonna be a UI / UX designer.7 -
Just wrote the first part of what will become a rather large Go project!
Almost the whole thing is gonna be pluggable, which adds an extra challenge, but nevertheless, the is gonna be a fun ride!
Also, it's gonna be Open Source, but until I'm at a reasonably stable version, I'm gonna be leaving it closed. Lmk if you're looking for something to do and want to join, this is gonna be a big project.7 -
Everyone starting their own streaming services.
some companies are starting Cloud Gaming platforms.
It not gonna be too long before we have software streaming services.
(I think there is already)
Everything is gonna be a streaming service soon.
Fuck.8 -
Final exam gonna start in 2 days and here I'm contemplating what to do after exams(lots of stuff in mind).
I think everyone go through this and usual dilemma for choosing what to do.
So much to learn, so little time. Smh.. -
Gonna be applying for college. Gonna major in programming.. I've always read the horror stories.. I hope my teachers arent retarded and dont make me use shit software..
Any advice?..3 -
The task: Catch and log this specific error in this one function.
Me: While I'm here, let me just -
git: 12 files changed3 -
Electrician.
I went to a technical highschool and was gonna be an electrical engineer.
In fact, I'm starting Electrical Engineering next year.
But I'm not gonna be an electrician anymore.
I'm more powerful now. -
Android Tutorial #3: Welcome back! Today we're gonna learn how to use the List View.
Me: Wow, this is gonna be so useful for me! What a great tutorial!
The next day
Android Tutorial #4: Welcome back! Hey, remember List View from yesterday? Yeah, it's deprecated. Today we're gonna learn how to use the Recycler View.
I feel so betrayed 😵8 -
I'm in school, next lession is gonna be programming exercise with c#, soooo gonna log into my linux home server and do some stuff Xd8
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Been wanting to develop a card game app. This time I'm actually gonna do it.....ok I'm gonna go ahead and install android studio :) first of many mistakes to come1
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Gonna start to learn everything I can about Networking Programming. I’ve always wanted to do stuff that requires it so I’m gonna do it. **Also foreshadowing my next project**7
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TFW you realize you only have 2 days left until your school-leaving exams.... I'm so fucking nervous right now... Aaand apparently our city has won a soccer match, I can pretty much hear everything that's happening at the stadium... there also seems to be some big rap concert somewhere in the city... I can't open the window otherwise I'll have to listen to all that noise.5
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So anyone gonna watch the live launch of Parker solar probe.
This is the first time any satellite going to the sun(well closest to the sun).
https://youtu.be/BrgKmdLfx9U3 -
"I'm gonna pull the whole thing down. I'm gonna bring the whole fuckin' diseased, corrupt temple down on your head. It's gonna be biblical."
I like this line. Resonates with me. Probably should watch the movie some time.3 -
Endless loop from workstation to bathroom.
Enough coffee to make your central nervous system depends on it.2 -
I have been on crunch time for so long, with so many hours I don't even know what day of the week it is. I legitimately had to look it up. I also calculated my hourly rate for the last 3.5 weeks, and I was making the same as a grocery store bagger! Being salaried sucks in times like this. I am paid peanuts.
Last night I woke up every 30 minutes in a panic I was late to work. This job is killing me, and all because the sales team sold the product on an unrealistic deadline, for no money...
In addition, I am gaining weight, haven't seen my family for any significant period of time for ages, and Taco Bell knows me by name and order...
On that note, next Monday I am going to go into my boss' office, and demand like a 50%-75% raise! I am terrified! Haha
Migraines are fun though. THE PAIN PROVES I AM ALIVE!8 -
Made a feature suggestion on the CakePHP repo...
Let's hope they aren't gonna give me the "not gonna happen" message T_T
https://github.com/cakephp/cakephp/... -
I'm probably gonna end up with carpal tunnel by 20. Gonna be a bitch trying to pursue development, which I've been aiming for since 11. Fml7
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Holy fucking shit bois. This is gonna be a long one.
So, its my last studying year for me. I found a nice apprenticeship in a dev company for which i'll have to make apps and stuff, so, I'll work at the company and at school.
Now it's good innit? Well here's the catch. I have to sign a contract for this. And the CUNT who is filling this shit is retarded enough to fuck up.
This bitch, a 40 yo accountant, surely filled many goddamn contracts before mine, but nooo, this wanker fucked this, the contract was missing important infos and some of them were incorrect, in short, it's not valid, 0/10, will never sign this.
Now here's the fun part, this cunt asked me for my infos, i gave them to him so that he could fill the document : he misinterpreted them, filling the paper with junk.
Today, I heard that he is unhappy of my behaviour towards him, and that I shouldn't insult his work with these accusations, saying that if I gave them more info (for which they didn't ask), there would be no problems.
He then called me, while I was in class, he acted smugly, said I was unclear and that I should gather more info for them, in other terms, "lmao do this yourself cunt"
"Fuck you, you cumstain, if you would've asked me, I would've been able to give you these infos right away, but you didn't, it's your fault for this, you're breaking mah balls yadda yadda"
(Roughly what I said, especially the insults)
I'm now forced to fill the contract myself because this bitch isn't able to google shit for 5 minutes to find everything he needed.
I have had so many problems with people of his kind, that I can't stand them now. Are they like animals? Do they feel my hate for them?
Sorry for dat long post, but fuck this, if the contract isn't filled, signed, and validated before the end of the month, I'm fucked, since i won't be able to sign up for the school.
Does anyone have had any problems like this? Like, a very egocentric cunt that isn't able to do something good because he is too proud to ask, so he prefers doing things his own way?1 -
I'm gonna soon start on a gaming project with my team, it's not gonna be something we want to push but it's gonna be an on going project to slowly grow some skills within the whole learning and understanding game machenics. Any advice from any fellow veterans :3 ?2
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Yesterday, I saw Someone posted about having wisdom tooth removed .....
Today I suddenly remembered, that I have 2 of mine lodged inside with no space to come out. They’re dormant....some day they gonna suddenly wake up and decide they wanna erupt......then I’m gonna be in pain and gonna have to have em removed.... :(2 -
You’d think with all the money bezos has for space rockets he’d have enough to make it so that provisioning a single damn database on aws doesn’t take 20 fucking minutes2
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You know what
I’m gonna fucking rebuild my website since the ui got bashed pretty hard by a friend who studies hci
And just gonna make it faster while at it32 -
dev is like a trading game: "ok, so I'm gonna trade that night's coding for a night's sleep so I can be fully recharged tomorrow." "ok, now I'm gonna trade that night's sleep for a night full of coding."
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If someday god lands on earth, How are we even gonna explain him binary? Won't he need extra tuitions for learning all these concepts?
Or maybe he's just gonna yell fuck this shit, I'm going back home!3 -
Bluemix: Hi, here have 1 instance of your app running, with 128M memory and 1024M disk. Btw, we are gonna take a hell lot a time to get your code up and running, and we love living at the 500.
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Seems like sequelize doesn't support delete join queries. I keep missing all those things I took for granted on my previous stack.
But it's too late for me, it's gonna be node and I'm gonna like it. -
Gonna excavate a gem, polish into a Shiny RubyGem! Even if it becomes a shoddy idea later, I'm sure gonna enjoy the bundler. With those adventurous minitests, rake made my life soothing itself!
https://github.com/mash-97/shpg
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