Someone on the IP 127.0.0.1 has been creating a lot of bugs in my code, please beware of you notice any connections from that address.

Don't know if it's up here, found it on r/ProgrammerHumor and thought it deserved to be shared :)

When your bugfix destroys everything

Recursion explained beautifully

Customer at a first meeting:
- "Didn't realize you're a developer, you're almost good looking!"
Never got a more bittersweet compliment.

I accidentally created a bug that became an amazing feature at my last job.

It was for a program to read barcode tickets (we created software and web solutions for events), and to register the barcode sacnners to the computer I had to do some magic with USB-detection since it was not specified which brand the scanners would be (so no SDK would be available).

When the scanner was plugged in it would create its own thread so it wouldn't interfere with the UI of the program when it was reading/sending data.

Somehow I messed up with the thread termination for new scanners so it would accept to connect more than one scanner and it would work flawless since it was its own thread in the program.

When I tried to think out a solution for multiple scanners when planning it I got a headache and thought that's something for later. Turned out alright in the end apparently.

Another gem from r/ProgrammerHumor

I never participated in the face reveal last week but this is actually me and my cape

I think I've found the fine line between feature and bug.

# I am not a VIM user.

I believe this is why companies look for Junior Developers who actually know enough to be a mid or senior developer.

One day, a company that doesn't have the technical chops to know the difference between python and ruby hire a developer who is still in school. That developer doesn't know what he's worth, so the company gets him for pretty cheap. He does amazing things, takes last minute requests, learns some along the way, but eventually leaves because he just got contacted by a recruiter telling him how much he's really worth. He leaves, but the company needs to fill his spot. The company asks the former rockstar all the technologies he used to accomplish his job and throw that into a job description. The company could only really afford the junior so they keep all the stuff about being a junior, but because they need to maintain all the hodge podge stuff the previous developer put in, they need someone with experience enough to jump in.

I'm still using the trial period of WinRAR

At least they aren't running Windows here at the airport

Sometimes, the rants are in perfect alignment. I live for these moments.

When you've been getting lots of comments on your pull request and have to keep asking for approval.

"It must work in IE6, we still use it in our offices."
While developing a JavaScript web app for a bank with 10 000+ employees. In 2014.

Coolest project: I once worked for a customer who hosted an exhibition for a few thousand visitors in a big event arena in Stockholm.

They didn't want to use the existing ticket reading system on the arena so I had to build my own application compatible with barcode scanners (they said this about one week before the event).

It wasn't a complicated application to dev but with the tight deadline and no time to actually stress test it, it was the coolest thing to see hundreds of people streaming through the ticket station flawlessly.

Day 2 of the event I built a simple web application so I could see the flow rate of read tickets while I sat in the arena pub with a beer.

When you open a 13-year-old PC that has never been opened and there's so much dust that even the vacuum is like "plz no" 😑

I love it when recruiters write personal messages and use my real name ❤️

Had to wake four people up at 2 am to fix a crashing service.

10/10 would deploy to production on Friday night again.

Lmao I’ve never learned how to program. I’m just winging it and have been able to fool everyone the last 10 years.

Senior engineer checking in.

Left one of the demo macs at Best Buy with vim running on a terminal shell. Let's see how long it takes for them to exit vim.

What's code review?
*programming in production*

At introduction of new class teacher asked which _one_ of the following isn't a programming language:
- Swift
- Pseudocode
- Haskell
- HTML

Took my chance on HTML, but apperantly pseudocode is less of a programming language according to him.

Shit happens!

!rant

Got pulled into a meeting with my PM at 4:30 yesterday. Was a bit worried (been feeling some imposter syndrome recently), but then he starts out, "These are my favorite meetings to have." I got a pretty big raise! Totally unprompted. I love my job and my PM.

Everyone in CS1 is using Windows 10 and VS to run their C++ while I sport vim on a Mac

Double your estimates.

One of my favorite quotes:

"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine"

Had to apply this liberally at my last job. Even had it posted at my desk for a time.

Jr. front end dev says, "I know enough back end to be dangerous". Literally destroys entire codebase.

Was scrolling through LinkedIn and had forgotten i wasn't on devRant. Just thought:
- "Man, these rants really suck."

”Are you planning on having kids in the near future?”

Literally (very) illegal to ask where I live. Too bad I was too young to understand the severity of him asking.

Worst place I’ve ever worked.

Best and worst customer I've had: A bank.
Great because they had so much money for projects.
Unbearable because everything needed to work in IE6.

After working as a developer for 4-5 years I finally took up school again.

The teacher at our first programming course insisted that we named all our variables in our locale language (swedish) and always started arrays at index 1.

So, I was out cruising in my sports car the other day. Porsche, two seater, about 400 hp.

When I stopped at a red light I was next to a man driving his family of four in his Volkswagen. I revved my car to show my power, but he seemed unfazed by my superior engine. When the light became green I floored it, he didn't have a chance of catching up, I just left him behind and laughed. He's so stupid for driving that slow car.

I can't understand why anyone would ever want to drive a Volkswagen when they are just so obviously slow?

👆This is how you sound like when you compare languages only based on how fast they are.

Biggest dev insecurity?

Probably http://
It’s not secure at all, never feeling very confident when browsing that protocol.

OMFG it happened again. I'm always very explicit with recruiters that I don't take full time employment while I'm studying. This one was very understanding about it and said he found a great match for my skillset.

I just had a meeting with the CEO of this great match of a company.
- "No, we only seek people who can work full time, let's keep in touch when you've graduated".

What the fuck, way to waste everyones time.

This programmer right here just turned 18. Maybe now I can get that Apple developer ID and get that app I've been working on for over a year onto the App Store.

And on a side note... let the Facebook comments pour in...

Due to the coronavirus we are currently required to develop all our web services with SOAP and sanitise all our input for at least 20 seconds.

Yes. You don't use Windows until and unless you are developing for Windows environment!

What the fuck, it says on both my LinkedIn profile and on my CV that I'm a student but I can take on part time projects, and I also told a recruiter the same thing over phone (after he found me on LinkedIn).

Today I had lunch with said recruiter. Guess who had no clue I was a student?

Few weeks ago I was having a few beers and messing around with a Minimax AI that could be used for different games as long as you fed it possible moves and win/loose-conditions. Could be used for like Tic Tac Toe on a 5x5 field, connect four etc.

I hadn't got it to work yet as I tried to implement alpha-beta pruning to optimize it. When I was playing against it I thought "Damn you're stupid, why would you even make that move" but still finished the game.

Before I knew it I had fucking lost. It outplayed me like 6 moves before I even knew what was happening.

And that's one of the top coolest feelings I've had as a developer, got destroyed by my own program.

I'm writing my own AdBlock Extension...

CSS:
.ad {
display: none;
}

JavaScript:
if (document.getElementById("ad").playsVideoAutomatically == true) {
getBlacklist.add(window.location.hostname);
alert("You are hereby banned from browsing " + window.location.hostname + " due to automatically playing video ad.");
}

Am I doing it right?

A Geologist and a developer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the developer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Developer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Developer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Developer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"

The Developer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.

Now, it's the developer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The developer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the developer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the developer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Told the recruiter about 4 times before my lunch interview that I was a working student (I could only take part time jobs).

Just as we sat down and got our food he asked me where I currently worked, and I gently reminded him that I was still, in fact, a student.

He had this weir look on his face as I had tried to trick him into a free lunch, as all the positions he had was for full time jobs.

Still ate the lunch and had awkward small talk the entire time.

It’s actually pretty neat. I constantly suffer from impostor syndrome, so I always have keep learning to keep up the facade.

Shouldn't C++ have increased to D by now?

Adding a feature to 18 000 undocumented lines of code, written in PL/SQL. Oh, did I mention it was just a single function?

Users of literally any other OS

My first date was on 4-04

Took me longer than I'd like to admit before I realized why my function always returned zero.
Too quick with the constructor it seemed.

Favorite co-worker conversations:

Guy 1: PHP can be plenty fast! Just put in APC, Memcached, and Varnish and you can handle just about any load.

Guy 2: So you're saying PHP is fast when it doesn't run.

Survived another meeting that should have been an email.

Family reaction to me becoming a dev?

“Hey, can you fix my printer plz”

import LongRantKit
import NonRantKit
import TldrKit

I don't like stickers on my laptop because it clutters it up. But today I realized the importance of them.

A few months ago I was sitting at a coffee shop working on a paper and I noticed a guy with this cool sticker on a MacBook Pro: it had the integral symbol to the left of the Apple logo, and to the right of it a lowercase d and another Apple logo. It took me a few hours to realize what it meant, but I finally did and at that point I also guessed that not many people know what it is.

So I, as antisocial as I am, I finish up my work and before I leave I walk up to him and say hi. At this point I'm a senior in high school and I learn he's a junior in the same college I plan to attend. We talked a little before I had to leave and got to know each other somewhat.

After I leave I find him on Instagram and Facebook and friend him and such.

Recently I posted a picture saying I had recently joined the Apple Developer Team, and also recently reposted a memory on Facebook from 5 years ago that was a screen capture of an iPhone 4 simulator running iOS 5 showing off one of my first apps.

Then yesterday I get a message from the guy I met at the coffee shop asking for some help with an iOS project he's working on. We decide to meet today and I spend the entire morning showing him the basics of Swift, Xcode, Interface Builder, etc. I feel like I really helped him jumpstart his app and helped him understand the basics of different concepts.

If he didn't have that integral sticker on his laptop I would have never had this opportunity to finally share some iOS development experience.

For this I would like to thank my high school calculus teacher, with whom I spent many classes at Starbucks because I was an only student. I'd like to thank laptop stickers, and finally I would like to thank the coffee shop.

TL;DR: Said hi to a guy with an integral sticker on his laptop, a few months later he approaches me for help understanding iOS development.

During mockup presentation where everything is perfectly vertically aligned:

Dev: "How should the surrounding content behave if the article is longer?"

Designer: "That won't happen."

This definition

When you have to beg your team for approval on your pull request.

CAPTCHA meaning: "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart".
Proof the the CS community is bad at creating acronyms.

Some back info that you need to know for this rant:
1) I am a Canadain, so I spell 'color' like: colour.
2) Americans spell 'colour' like color.

Today I was debugging a Python file that I and my team of Americans and Canadians were working on. I ran the code and got an error that one of our variables was named incorrectly. I searched the code up and down for 3+ hours looking for the issue. After taking my lunch break I came back and read the file again. Then I realized it: I had started working on one part spelling color like colour, and then an American finished the project, spelling colour like color, so there were two different variables. This really pissed me off because we could have fixed it by deciding on a language before we started the project. I fixed it quickly and now we have a new rule at the office: always use American English when naming variables.

Moral of the story: decide which language to use for variables when working on a multi-national team.

I hate it when I come up with an amazing password, but I'm unable to share it with anyone.

I love learning new and exciting technologies, but I hate that it makes me want to rewrite half of my projects.

I think I figured out why so many companies jumped on board the Agile approach. Companies heard Productivity Bonus and Put Stuff into a List Of Things to Do, and left out all the rest of their responsibilities. One of my past companies was like "We're going to take an Agile approach to everything! Except, we're not going to shield developers from everyone who has stuff in the backlog, and we're going to have other meetings during the day on top of the scrum meetings to check on your progress, and we're going to measure points in time instead of complexity".

I feel like the creators of the Agile Manifesto would be really upset at all of the poorly implemented processes. Because all of us developers are pretty upset.

Once worked for a guy who lectured me in front of the whole office because I didn't continued work at home after I stayed 3h unpaid overtime at the office.
I quit soon after that.

Always use SELECT-query with the same conditions before you DELETE/UPDATE in a production database.

In love with Python

A programmer comes home from work. The spouse says, "Could you run to the store for me? Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen". He goes to the store and comes back with 13 gallons of milk.

buyMilk()
if (eggs) {
for (var i = 0; i < 12; i++) {
buyMilk()
}
}

Speechless!

Worked as a web developer on a really small agency and we always said to customers that were not designers so they need to provide us with a mockup if they want it fancy.

One customer wanted us to design a campaign site for an event and we asked for a design mockup.
"Sure, I'll send it right over!"
About 2 hours later a bike messenger knocked on our door and gave us a coaster from the merchandise.

Favourite code editor?
Hands down, it’s actually Vim.

It’s mostly because I haven’t been able to exit it though. Actually it’s the only reason. I’m stuck. Someone please send help.

Installed an SSD in my Linux box. Installed fresh distro, tried to log in via SSH on localhost. Didn't work. Tried like three times, turned off firewalls, restarted ssh servers, nothing.

Looked at username. Typo in username when setting things up. *facepalm*

FUCKING STARBUCKS

Get your goddamn internet speeds up to 1st world speeds

I have a fucking paper to write

I'm going to a friend's house because his computer won't boot. In case I don't return, please clear my git stash. No one needs to see that kind of crap.

Apparently the firewall at work has blocked access our git repo since there are too many consecutive requests to it.

Having to do all programming exams with pen and paper.

I accidentally triggered a reindex on an database with 14 million records in it. It prevented hundreds of people from doing their jobs for several hours. Probably cost the company tens of thousands of dollars. Didn't get fired for it, but man it didn't feel good...

It's hard to earn reputation here if you don't say anything.

I'm more of a lurker and I hardly have anything worth posting.

Sharing this, since I made this during paid working hours.

I'm currently reading a course in Project Management and I have yet to find an image in the course literature with a person that doesn't suffers from a headache.

I've set up my server to only accept logins with SSH-keys, and permanently banning all IP:s that attempt login with passwords.

Now I can't stop watching the banned IP:s stacking up, it's like drugs to me.

Don't be afraid of reinventing the wheel for your own sake. Sure we end up with a lot of wheels, but then when some of those wheel makers come together, they can build something great.

First Windows and now Apple. Why does everyone keep skipping the number 9?

Oh hey, no extra screws. Today is a good day

My compsci II Prof pirates windows 7 for his openbox vm to teach C++

I once added a semicolon at the end of a line when coding in Python.

I’ve brought shame on my family.

When the code we have never tested during development works perfectly in production

Confession

I'm building a web app with little experience and I'm probably Googling stuff 50% of the time and I'm sure I'm doing everything the wrong way but it works so...

I'm done with laptop stickers. After about a year, half of the libraries I have stickers for have updated their logos.

Project Manager: "Let's put this temporary site up that the sales guys can use until the app is released in a few months"

A year later it's still used more than the app.

// bandaids are forever

Lots of fun open source stuff, but I had a lot of fun working on a survey taking m&m dispenser. The goal was to encourage students to answer survey questions that would help the faculty get a better idea of what the students found most valuable (different things they wanted to learn, classes they found useless, etc.). So me and another student built this :) Its a node server running on an Intel Galileo, which served up an admin and survey interface using React. When a student answered a survey question, a servo would turn a gear, which interfaced with a rack and pinion that had two little pits in it. When it would slide under the jar, two m&ms would fill the pits, then the rack and pinion would push them out. Then we had a webcam hooked up to the end of it that would compare the colors of the m&ms to see if they were the same. If they were the same, the student would get more m&ms. The gear pieces were 3D printed.

We could never get the webcam stuff to work right with the Galileo because OpenCV (the computer vision library we were using to interact with the webcam) could not be built/compiled on such a specific version of Linux. Later, I was able to do it with a RaspberryPi, but never got it reintegrated.

Quitting my last job. I had been there for about 3 years and had a great time there.

It was only my boss and I, we were developing software and websites for events so we were quite often out meeting and partying with people, it kinda became a part of the job. We had a fridge always stacked with beer and champagne which was for us and our friends to use. The office was located in the middle of the most exclusive business and club district in the city, so I could use the office as I wanted during evenings to meet up with friends and drinking beer.

But it was expected to work a lot of overtime. I was single and young and really liked what I was doing so I didn't mind. But then I met the love of my life and started to spend more time with her. I couldn't stay and work as often and would rather be with her on weekends.

It became quite hard to live up to my boss's expectations and it always felt like I disappointed him if I didn't (or couldn't) stay for an after work, and when I did, it felt like I disappointed my new girlfriend instead.

Ultimately I felt I had to choose one of them, or I would definitely loose her. It was a no-brainer since I knew I couldn't keep working like that forever, and didn't want to risque a relationship because of work.
It took all of my courage to do it and I felt so bad because I knew my boss (and my friend) would feel like I betrayed him, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

I can still miss it sometimes, but I don't regret it.

My OCD kicks in when people post pictures of devRant stickers sideways.

:/

// ocd
// jealous

WORST interaction with management?

Wouldn’t it be more rare to find a GOOD interaction, am I right fellas?

Pro devRant tip:

Search for "client". Those are some of the best rants.

Almost? I did.

Things like these keeps me motivated!

A previous project manager thought that by marking every ticket as high priority, they would get done faster.

// priorities

I accidentally started a reindex on a collection that had 14 million records in the middle of the day. Caused an outage in a major portion of our applications for about 3 hours. Worst thing was that once I pressed enter, I realized that it was for the production database, and not the staging database like I intended. I immediately went to go tell the dev ops lead, and he basically said, "whelp, let's just sit back and watch the world burn. Not much we can do about it"

"Bro, do you even git push?"

There was a sales manager who was raked with overseeing me and another dev finish a last minute request project. He said at one point to the other dev that he was mad at developers because we understood something that he would never understand.

This same manager would often sit in on estimation meetings and constantly say that we were estimating too high and needed to come up with faster solutions. When we would offer him with caveats of possible technical debt or unintended side-effects/performance issues, he'd want us to go with that solution. He would then complain that we were always wanting to work on technical debt and that our application was slow. He would also ask for very high level estimates for large, unscoped features/apps without any meaningful level of detail, then hold us to the high-level estimated date even after revealing additional features previously unmentioned.

We learned to never compromise on the right solution and to push back hard on dates without proper scoping. They didn't learn, so I and most of the good devs left.

Works on my machine

I've just about finished 100% of the scoped features of a quick little app. The client is demanding that I add more features at his whim before he'll pay me anything. Mind you, this is a small project, and I have a day job that pays me loads more than he's paying me. Oh, and the client has no control over the github repo or any of the deployed environments.

Reviewing code in a project, found this one:

# Todo: Fix horrible parent member check. People may have been killed for better code
-- horrible code here --

These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"

The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"

"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

Folded the Gitlab logo today (with some help from a book). Doesn't actually look all that bad ;-)

I have started my first job as a web developer since February 1st. During the one month training period which is in progress, one of the training sessions was on Git and believe me Git is the most fascinating thing came to know me since I have joined computer science field. In love with it.

About every project at my last job. Impossible to like any project with a boss that legitimately thinks frames and tables are a better option than learning css.

But why not, attribute styling on html-elements are the future indeed.

I once had a PM who would consistently ask us to fix one off "bugs" (read little design tweaks). He wouldn't even bother to write them down anywhere. He once came over and asked why we hadn't fixed one of his bugs. We had no idea what he was talking about. According to him, we were supposed to organize and prioritize according to his whim. He never logged into our task management system.

When it finally came time to sell off our work to some of the business owners, we showed some of the "bug fixes" we did because that's all we ever heard we were supposed to do. The business owners were mad that we hadn't done anything they had asked us to do. PM throws us under the bus saying that we didn't know how to do our jobs and that we never listened to him. I was so glad when he moved to be lead of the QA department. Then I wasn't so glad.

He would have bug quotas that his team would have to meet. He pitted the entire QA team against all of the devs saying things like, "All the devs suck at coding. It's our job to save the company and the world from their buggy software." He got the only good QA guy fired because he faked a bunch of documents stating that they had had performance reviews and no improvement was made (these meeting never actually took place), and that he hadn't been meeting his big quotas. He was outside of our department and was buddy buddy with one of the C-levels, so his word trumped ours.

Then one glorious day, after I had already left the company, his department was absolved into the technology group. That same day was the day he was fired.

I kind of pity him. I didn't know if he had a family, but how can a man such as that support his family? Perhaps he doesn't have a good relationship with his wife and that's why he sucked at his job?

I just had my first "Group project"-experience and holy fucking shit am I about to explode right now.

I messaged you one fucking week before the project is due and ask for your input that none of you contributed to and if that was too advanced for you imbeciles to handle then HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THREE MORE FUCKING YEARS IN CS. THEN YOU HAVE THE DECENCY TO RESPOND SIX FUCKING HOURS AFTER THE PROJECT IS DUE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WORK.

WELL GUESS WHAT YOU FUCKING WASTE OF MOLECULES, I ALREADY TURNED IT IN AND THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE IS PUTTING YOUR FUCKING NAMES ON THE PROJECT.
I DRAGGED YOUR SORRY ASSES TO THE FINISH LINE AND THEN YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG"?

NEXT TIME AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO SPIT BEFORE YOU FUCK SOMEONE OVER

The new iPhone is gonna have an odd number of pixels in width. I can already feel the anxiety of trying to achieve pixel perfection.

Ran a sed find and replace function on project-folder/* instead of targeting a specific file extension. Fun Fact: sed replace will find those character combinations in image files, too. The site looked like you were on mushrooms. Thank goodness for git

Got an assignment in school to make an easy project in c for embedded real time processors with a free complexity level (it was really early in the course and many had never been programming before).

Since I've been working a few years in development I decided to create an own transmitter and receiver for an own protocol between processors (we had just spent a week to understand how to use existing protocols, but I made my own).

The protocol used only 1 line to communicate with half-duplex and we're self adjusting the syncing frequency during the transmission. I managed to transmit data up to 1 kbps after tweaking it a bit (the only holdback was the processors clock frequency).

Then I got the feedback from our teacher, which basically said:
"Your protocol looks like any other protocol out there. Have you considered using an UART?"

Like yeah, I see the car you built there looks like any other car out there, have you considered using a Volvo instead?

I had seen million people like those and I bet I was controlled the same way!

Stickers have arrived!!
Thanks @dfox & @trogus

I wonder how successful I would be if I charged clients extra for "taming" the AI that tried to destroy their project.

A backup a day keeps the doctor away!
...or even better:
A backup a day keeps data loss away!

“The documentation of this API is left as an exercise to the reader.”

Life is a constant battle of not knowing whether I want to quit programming forever, or if I just need 8 hours sleep.

Me: Hey what's the default password for this?
Classmate: password?
Me: yeah the password. What is it by default?
Classmate: no that's it. Just "password"
Me: :/

The interview wasn't so bad, but it was deceiving, not to the fault of the company though. During the interview process, they were asking all sorts of questions about my Angular and front-end skills. I was to take over a project that used Angular heavily, and none of their devs knew angular. At the time, this was going to be my dream job! After I got the job, and met with the contractor who was handing over the project. He told me that he spent that weekend rewriting the whole thing on rails and ember. When I brought it up with my boss, he was not happy. I would have been fine working on it, but instead I got put onto Wordpress projects with the evergreen promise that I would transition to that project or another one like it. Never happened, built up my skills contributing to Open Source, then left.

First thing that I do when I come back to desk finding my computer unlocked:

tail ~/.bash_history

Currently doing a lab in XQuery. The comment notation always makes me smile :)

> Drops production database.
> Wait for chaos to ensue.
“It’s just a prank, bro”

I think I've reached the point where I've been programming for so long that I have off by one errors doing normal math by hand. Nothing more humbling than getting beat out to a bunch of simple math problems to a grade schooler.

Ooh... one I can participate in...

My dad was a Java developer, which primarily got me interested.

Back in early 2012, a favorite MMOG of mine shut down and I was interested in how it worked. I was 13 at the time. A friend of mine, on hearing of my interest, emailed me a bunch of links including Chris Pine's ruby tutorial and TheNewBoston.

From then on I tinkered a little with a bunch of different technologies, picked up a few programming books, and now we're here. I've made a little money as a Java developer and I'm working on an iOS game, but I'm still learning and tinkering with new technologies.

Going to release the biggest feature I have implemented for Product I work on. Change in more than 150 files and it is very very critical.
Wish me luck..

Luckily I don't work at a place like this anymore, but I sure hate it when a company touts that they are an effective company who has implemented agile "the right way", then when they describe their process in detail, it is almost exactly the opposite of what agile is supposed to be.

I've worked for a couple places that just couldn't get their head around the fact that one of the reasons agile exists is because estimating software is hard, and only after doing agile the real right way for an extended period of time can a company expect to have realistic estimates. The business can't go a week without hard deadlines.

alias rep = goto;
eat: sleep: code: rep eat;

I became good enough to be hired as a developer by reinventing lots of wheels and making mistakes. A lot of mistakes.

I wonder what StackOverflow do when they have server issues.

Built an iPhone app for free for a local nonprofit. This directly lands me a part time well paid internship offer.

And they say you should never work for free

My last boss insisted on using tables instead of divs and then asked me to make it responsive (every damn time). Also, functions that were over 10k of lines.

Getting webpack to work the way I want it. Only consulting the docs.

Lmao probably the time I worked 150 hours over two weeks (had to sleep on the job) for a project. During delivery I worked 09-22 during the weekend (unpaid) while my boss was out on his boat.

I don't know how many hours in a row it was, but one month I put down about 340 hours of work.

My boss had taken upon this massive project with a deadline at the end of the month. I basically lived at the office (I actually spent the night there more than once), meanwhile he was out sailing.

Why do government websites use so many fucking subdomains??

Fuck Windows for skipping version 9. It would have been a good version.

And fuck Windows for being one hundred fucking twenty dollars and not selling old versions for less

Every time someone here makes one small complaint about their system, there's always that one guy to criticize your choice of OS. REGARDLESS of what OS it is

DROP DATABASE users; oops

Just had a bug reported that only happens in Chrome. Works in IE and Safari. This is going to be an impossible bug to squash.

What do you guys think about Visual Studio Code?
I personally like it, just wondering your opinions.

PSA Cloudflare had a bug in there system where they were dumping random pieces of memory in the body of HTML responses, things like passwords, API tokens, personal information, chats, hotel bookings, in plain text, unencrypted. Once discovered they were able to fix it pretty quickly, but it could have been out in the wild as early as September of last year. The major issue with this is that many of those results were cached by search engines. The bug itself was discovered when people found this stuff on the google search results page.

It's not quite end of the world, but it's much worse than Heartbleed.

Now excuse me this weekend as I have to go change all of my passwords.

Do we actually know how many people there are on devRant?
Just wondering to see which percent of the community liked the top posts.

Salesforce. Although I wasn't involved in the purchase or the implementation, I spent many 100 hour weeks dealing with the crapshoot of an implementation. A large company abused that software to the point of no return. They used that thing for everything, and then they didn't even use it right for the one thing salesforce is good at. So I guess I don't have anything against salesforce itself besides its scalability issues, custom SOQL syntax, user model, and pricing. I'm more upset about the salesforce developers/business owners that decided it was okay to use salesforce for things it was never meant for, like inventory, project management, 3rd party sales team, and so many other things that caused what should have been sub-second queries to take 30 to 60 seconds.

If at first you don't succeed, keep it at version 0.x

I was trying to watch an instructional YouTube Python video (on my Android phone) while it was dark in my bedroom, and then I remembered that Youtube for Android doesn't have a damn dark mode... NOOOOOOOO!!! :( :(
Why did you do this to us Google!

Booting up my Windows computer at work after 1 year leave. I'm gonna do a Windows Update.

I suspect I'm not going to get anything else done today.

I recently decided that I was going to broaden my palette and learn a bit of Java. I've had painful experiences in the past, but it's been a few major versions since I last did anything in it. Then I go to update the OS Java, and IT STILL FREAKING PROMPTS ME TO ADD YAHOO TOOLS TO MY BROWSER!!! ARE WE STILL IN THE 90s? DO YAHOO AND ORACLE STILL HAVE A DEAL? OR WAS SOME JAVA INSTALLER DEVELOPER TOO FREAKING LAZY TO REMOVE IT FROM TUE INSTALLER PROMPTS?!

And that's why I have a problem with Java.

TLDR; macOS wouldn’t update to the version I needed because I have a 3rd party SSD. All I needed was a firmware update only found deep within a google search and a secondary SO answer.

I have a video edit project this weekend. No big deal.

Except that the Final Cut Pro project was saved in the latest version of FCPX, for which I need latest MacOS version

As a music producer on the side, I had heard the new file system of MacOS High Sierra would possibly break audio plugins. I didn’t bother updating until now. Looked further into plugin problem, it would be simply a broken hard link which I can easily fix. No big deal.

Except that I have upgraded my MBP SSD from 256gb to this 3rd party 480gb SSD. macOS does not recognize this SSD as compatible with update. No big deal. Simple google search for a terminal command would do the trick.

Except that I found and tried several solutions, including wasting an entire hour updating the original ssd and booting from that to try to update it.

Nothing worked, but deep down in the google search, found in a secondary answer on SO, there was a link for a beta release of a firmware update for the SSD that took two minutes to install, and I was finally able to update.

That firmware update needs to be more prominent everywhere. Wasted well over 3-4 hours updating crap, swapping out SSDs, and googling when all I needed was a fucking firmware update.

I was making coffee this morning when one of my managers walked up and asked me if I could make a cup for him too.
I was like sure, anything to make you happy. (Maybe you'll lessen the amount of work I have to do today 😀)
I finished making both the cups of coffee and the brought his over to his desk. He drank some and then almost spit it out. He complained about how the coffee was not dark roast it was medium roast, and he could tell the difference and I should have known that.
I was like "well if you're going to complain about how I make your coffee go make your fucking own". (I didn't say that out loud though, I probably would have been fired!)

Google Assistant in iPhone? Seriously? In the opposite way Siri should be introduced to android phones else I would be unable to understand this business decision!

At my last place of employment, there was a really smart developer who was charged with building a shared library to setup new applications. He called it Jack Stack. He had it pretty much finished, but got pulled into other projects so he couldn't do much "internal marketing". Of bunch of us (friends of this dev) knew it was cool, but always teased him about how no one was using it.

Several months later, he is able to revisit it, and starts refactoring it. He gets on a chat with us saying, "I've got an amazing name for Jack Stack 2! Do you want to know what I called it?" Without skipping a beat, another friend typed, "Deprecated?" Oh the laughing that ensued... Every time it was brought up, I couldn't stop laughing...

But for reals, it was an amazing library.

How the hell do I understand want people want???

I listen to them, I pay attention to them (for the most part), but for the most part when someone assigns me something but it is not clearly explained, they expect me know what to do.

I had the most unproductive meeting with this guy I work for because of this... he had a problem, so we worked on ideas for this solution, and I thought I knew exactly what he wanted. We were getting somewhere. I get ready to leave for lunch and it turns out that is not at all what he wanted. We're back to square one.

Is it me, or are people really bad at explaining things?

My upwork account is banned for sending too many proposals without getting too many jobs.
Got 2 jobs out of 35-40 proposals sent.

Release:
1. with all features
2. on time
3. on budget (budgeted resources)

Choose two. Maybe just one. If you try to do all, you may not get any.

Whenever I'm asked if something is possible, I've resorted to responding "With infinite time and resources, anything is possible"

By far, the worst docs I've read was for a library I used to use for almost every project. I didn't really have to look at the docs because I knew the ins and outs of it. Time went by and I stopped using the library. I came back to a project that used that library, and I had the hardest time figuring out what was going on.

It was a library I wrote :/

I got much better at documentation after that. I started doing DDD (Document Driven Development) because many developer's first experiences with libraries are with the documentation. It allowed me to interact with my library before I even started development.

Overhearing discussions/arguments about whether it's pronounced "su-doe" or "su-doo". Come on guys, it's just a matter of preference, it's not a religious battle.

Cocaine

try {
work.focus()
} catch (ex) {
sleep(15)
} finally {
week.end()
}

Fuck UPS and their API Documentation. Has anyone here ever integrated their API ?
Their API documentation doesn't mention any sandbox or testing accounts.
If I click on their create access key button, it takes me to a form which requires a real payment method and address which seems like it's meant for real stuff not testing.

Spent a bunch of time debugging an off-by-one error. At least I was only a bit off.

I like a clean Mac so I'll have to find a different place to slap these stickers on, but they're here!

I received devRant stickers a couple of months ago, but I forgot to post a picture. Would you guys believe me or I have to prove.

Got into work and VPN was down. At least Github is still up.

C++ Really confuses me... I mean why when defining an array variable is the array notation on the variable name rather than the variable type?

Cocaine

Just spent a lot of development hours today! Quite more than routine! Not even tired because had great sync with the partner dev! Cheers!

Developers more than other groups tend to hold their operating system or programming language of choice dearly, to the point where if someone thinks poorly of the OS or Language, they take it like a personal attack. Then there are those who think poorly of people who who's a certain OS or a specific language. Combine the two and you get hurt feelings and identity crisis.

Can we all just agree that we're all in different stages of learning and that we all generally end up going the same direction for the same types of problems?

Or just have it out and kill each other over it. Will give me great rant material.

Whelp, I made the switch to android about a week ago. Didn't go two days without getting malware on it. I only browse hacker news and used devRant, standard messaging app, no root, so no shady things, just fairly standard things besides devRant. When I called Samsung support, they said it was a known issue and sent me some links to some forums where people were having the same issues. After digging through those threads, there was an official answer from Samsung saying they weren't going to fix the issue (at least in any foreseeable future). That's unacceptable for a phone that was released less than a year ago.

I'm done with Samsung phones for good. I might come back to Android on a google phone.

I hate how Android is distributed and the manufacturers don't take ownership of their issues. They just work on the new phone without caring for anything older than 6 months. If I had to get a new phone every time a major security issue was found and the company refused to fix it, I'd spend more money than on an iPhone.

It seems like Google keeps their devices up to date better, presumably because they have better control of OS releases. But non-google Android devices are dead to me.

Back to my iPhone for now...

🎵sad Charlie Brown music🎵

APFS changed up everything I know about disks and disk partitioning

Achievement complete: have an app approved for TestFlight. Next goal: release to App Store.

Here I am, 3:18 am, maybe I won't sleep today either, I hope I do... I'm going on with my uni project, a data science project. I've been wasting hours trying to understand why the fUcK 2 dataframes give me substantially different performances when they fucking shouldn't, since they should be the fUcKing sAmE. But apparently pandas is making fun of me... it seems that if you do something like:
df=original_df.loc[:, [some_cols]]
and some columns in [some_cols] don't exist in original_df, pandas won't give a shit and create a NaN column, or 0 based on how many virgin leprechauns ate bananas for Thanksgiving.
Plus I'm fucking freezing, in this apartment the heating system turns off at 23:59, it makes sense if you're in the fucking bed where you'll be fucking warm.
I miss software development... I wanna finish this MSc as soon as possible.
And here I am, listening to post-rock, writing jupyter notebooks, trying to be fucking positive.
It's not like I hate data science (maybe?), but I'm burnout.
Maybe I'll rewatch another time the video of Mr Robot with the song Where Is My Mind.
See ya.

Me at 9 pm working on a project: this will only take a couple minutes...

Me a few minutes later: fuck, it's three in the morning...

And that's why I have sleep issues.

So I follow Linus Tech Tips and set my computer's DNS server to 1.1.1.1 but the dumbass in me didn't set any backup servers.

Come Friday night, internet is not working on my computer. After a modem/router restart and it still not working, I thought it was just the internet in the house was down for a little bit (it was connecting to the router perfectly fine). The next morning I wake up and my phone's connected to WiFi and it's working, so I'm like, "great, internet's back"

Not for my laptop lol. Nothing's loading there. Since it's just this device that's having trouble, I decide to forget the network and log back in. Still not working.

I finally remembered my DNS server setting and add Google's external DNS servers to the list and now it's working.

A normal day at upwork

Some meme page on Instagram has been chatting with me asking for help with a C# project.

1) who is this guy and how'd he find out about me

2) why tf are we on Instagram

3) I don't know much C#, much less cross platform development with C#, so I have no clue why I'm helping, if I am

We have a school project where we're supposed to develop a project for a company. In order to finish the project before our presentation I put in over 40h per week (on top of other classes). The only thing missing is the design, only placeholder buttons at the moment. Ask the designer 2 weeks in advance if he'll be able to provide me with the design: "Sure, I'll do it soon".

And now the presentation is in one day and the app looks like shit because we don't have any design for it.

I love it when context gets lost in company chat when there are multiple conversations going on at the same time.

> we just got our cloud provider bill for feb, half of what it was last month.
> sounds like a missing environment variable. looking into it

New piece of code which should work perfectly and solve your problem but it is not working just because you forgot to remove an old piece of code you were trying to fix the same problem! Fuck my life!

So my previous rant was about a 13-year-old PC with a ton of dust... It is a 2004 PowerMac G5 1.8GHz, and I recently installed a flavor of debian on it called Lubuntu, so now I actually use it. It currently has 750mb of ram but I found a max upgrade (4x1gb) on eBay and that's in the mail.

Once that comes in I'll have an ok-ish machine but I'll have nothing to use it for.

So what can I use it for? I open to suggestions.

Stop mucking around with your boilerplate

Started learning Haskell a few weeks ago. Never been more frustrated and excited at the same time.

The worst meeting I was in I didn't know how bad it was until later. It was my first week at a new job, and I mostly just spent that week pulling tickets off of the top of the backlog and getting acclimated to the build environment and the project structure.

The meeting was a "sell off" where we would "sell" our efforts to the product owners, which were executives. After my project mentor went over the things we had accomplished, an executive asked why we accomplished those things but not the things that were asked for. I don't recall everything that was said, the basically our project manager threw us under the bus.

After the meeting, I looked at the backlog, and nothing that the Executives talked about was in the backlog, nor anywhere to be found. Our project manager, expected us to just "know" what we were supposed to work on, and create our own user stories. Apparently, what I found out after, was that the project manager went to one of the executives and complained that we, the developers never did what he asked and that we were just rogues working on whatever we wanted to work on. He was our project manager for another month, and he never created any tickets for us, even after two hour long meetings with the project owners. I honestly don't know what he did all freakin' day. He was always in work early. I'm sure a quick brush through his browser history would reveal some interesting things.

The results of that meeting led to this developer to not receive a bunch of RCUs with the rest of the developers amongst another things. Turns out those RCUs were golden handcuffs for everyone else. He left sometime after that and found another place. I interviewed at that place, too and got the job. Now I have the shortest, most productive meetings ever.

Getters and setters vs property accessors?

The instructor of my Android development class is manually and purposefully using setters and getters when the Kotlin language and Android Studio is strongly pushing for this property accessor way of handling private data fields. He says that it goes against the philosophy of hiding the data and keeping data fields private.

I’m all for property accessors, but I’m struggling to come up with a response for what he says. Modern programming languages like Kotlin and Swift have been strongly encouraging the use of property accessors.

I am in need of a good web host for my personal website... the one I use now is free and therefore sucks. I can't even get external access to the MySQL database and their SQL client sucks.

I'm slightly annoyed that the 13" MBP does not have a 16:9 display because when I'm recording a game or a programming tutorial I have to crop or leave black bars... but I guess that's what I get for going with the 13" model.

I'm sorry my GitHub was inactive all 2018. Doesn't mean I wasn't coding. I just put my recent projects up so maybe I can fill out those little squares on my profile

Updated my Mac this afternoon to macOS Catalina. Apart from rearranging all my apps in Launchpad, the major change I notice is that the terminal is using zsh instead of bash... ok... cool. I don't know anything about zsh... what differences can I expect? Should I go back to bash?

My new favorite thing:

it()

called "it"

Appreciation Rant for WebStorm's latest update to its React support -- Shift-F6 on useState hooks renames the state and its dispatch function name and I fricken love it

I just spent 6 hours trying to get JupyterHub working with Real-time collaboration.
Time. Fucking. Wasted.

Outdated or non-existent documentation. Weird conventions. Everything is just annoying.

Is it really just hard to push a complete product to production instead of an half-ass untested mess?

Trying to contribute to a translation project on Crowdin, then remembering that my 14 day trial is expired.
Why does Crowdin, a platform trying to help people get translations for their projects make you pay? Couldn't they have more of like a GitHub payment model (free for basic features, pay to get more)?

My first CS class is a basic introductory C++ course. Won't even be going into OOP.

So I want to use my own laptop for the course, but I have a Mac. Thought I could use Visual Studio for Mac for the class, but turns out Visual Studio for Mac is really only for Multiplatform development with C#. Ok, then, screw that. Just wasted 20GB and an evening installing that just to uninstall it.

I'm using JetBrain's CLion for now, but apparently we'll be doing some graphics work later this semester so I'm going to need to install Windows via Bootcamp and Visual Studio there... but my SSD is too small...

I currently have Windows/Bootcamp installed on a 1TB external hard disk but that is slow af. My SSD is only 250GB and I've already used half of it for various programs I need (Adobe crap plus Logic crap cuz I make videos and music).

My only option here is to buy a new SSD but only one manufacturer sells those (OWC), and a 1TB SSD is stupid expensive, $700 almost as much as I paid for this laptop used.

So, I guess I'm just kinda deciding right now whether upgrading storage is really worth it...

I've been stuck with bootstrap in the last projects at work but I wish to break free. Been looking a bit on material design. What other UI frameworks do you guys use?

The same error message...