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-- How I feel at work lately, in terms my wife understands --
Me: There's a gas leak, we need to fix it.
Manager: Yeah, use some duct tape, here's a roll.
Me: That's not how we fix a problem like this.
Manager: Will it work to solve the problem?
Me: Only temporarily
Manager: Ask your co-worker if you need help using duct tape, he's used it before. When will it be fixed?12 -
C: application not working
Me: k. What changed?
C: we didn't make changes
Me: k... *gets a tech team (W) on the phone*
W: Hey, what's broken?
Me: C's application. How do things look?
W: running healthy. I'll check logs.
Me: thanks. *gets tech team (S) on the line*
S: hey, everything clear on our end, will check logs.
Me: thanks *gets tech team (U)*
U: hey! They asked us to deploy their new version today during normal deployment time. Is it acting up?
Me: C, what did you change?
C: nothing major, just how we connect to W and S...
W&S: are you shitting me???
Me: U, will you please roll it back?
C: no! Must stay on this version, you need to fix your side!!
Me: nope. *calls U boss (UG)*
UG: U, you have my permission to roll back, they need to fix. C, if your boss doesn't like it, have them call me.
*rollback fixes problem*
IF I FUCKING ASK YOU WHAT THE FUCK YOU CHANGED, YOU BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH, OR I WILL STRIP YOUR CODE OFF OUR FUCKING SYSTEMS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. MY JOB IS TO HELP YOU AND YOU NEED TO BACK TO FUCK UP AND NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MY JOB OR YOU WON'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.11 -
7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.
Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.
Fuck.
Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.
Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.
Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.
He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.
And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.
I need a fake rock with a key under it.
Great Sunday.18 -
I FUCKING HATE how I always have to prove my abilities twice to everyone just because I sit in a wheelchair!!!
I mean if the people on the street treat me like a child it's hard enough... they might just be afraid of the unknown or simply stupid... but at the office?
You know what I do for a living... What on earth would make you think you have to treat me as if I have some kind of cognitive disability as well?
I am going to roll/drive over the next guy who does something like that!!!
Sorry for the non dev rant but this had to get out48 -
EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2020)
-------------------------
We've been at this a few years now, and over the last 6 months we've been working closely with a brand consulting agency, and after numerous developer interviews, surveys and focus groups, we've come to realize "devRant" is simply not capturing the cultural zeitgeist of this new decade. Therefore, we have a bold new brand that will be rolling out over the coming week. devDucks is our bold vision for the future, today. devDucks speaks to a new generation of software engineers who resonate with a more upbeat, optimistic tone when they go to an anonymous web community to swear and lament their current work situation. While we finalize the new logo and other key marketing collateral, we have started a staged roll-out of our new brand styling, including the conversion of all avatars to literal devDucks. We hope this brings more joy to your ranting, as it has to ours. Sincerely, David & Tim (@dfox & @trogus) - devDucks co-founders
56 -
Installs 45gb game
Next day do an update - not enough storage
Sees 28gb free on disk
Googles
Turns out steam copies your entire game during an update so it can roll back of there's an error
Fucking brilliant.19 -
Once upon a time I was teaching high schoolers Unity/C#. Noisy boy asked me if it was possible to create a robot in C#.
I told him to take printer, take it apart and turn it upside down in the way that printing drum would touch the ground, and then to put a laptop with his C# program on top of it.
When the program will launch, printer will try to print and the whole thing will roll slowly. Isn’t that a robot? You just need to think wider and define what robot is at first.
He was lost in thoughts and completely silent to the end of the lecture.6 -
I go to unlock my car, but the button I usually use is gone. Instead now it unlocks by long-pressing the car handle.
Ok, got it.
Then my ignition isn't there? Oh, it's in the middle of the steering wheel now? Ok.. but it doesn't work? Oh I have to sign in with Google or Facebook, alright...
Wait, where's my odometer? Oh this is "card" view, and I guess I want "compact" view, huh. Is there a dark theme? Guess not.
Why can't I shift? Oh the stick is a hamburger button now, weird. Um, and reverse is in a sub-menu? That's going to get annoying.
Alright just need to look in the mirror to see if.. wtf? You call this "responsive" or something? I can't see out that tiny window.
I'm very disappointed in all this, I wonder if I can roll back. Oh WHERE ARE THE BRAKES OH GOD
UX DESIGNERS
HAVE
FUCKING
KILLED ME
WHY DID WE TRUST THEM AND THEIR GODFORSAKEN UPDATES10 -
Active Noise Cancellation (ANC) headphones in, whatever music that your mood requires at the time (my taste varies from classical to country to blues to jazz, pop, rock, metal and even heavy metal (growls) at times).
libre.fm is a good source for non-redundant music. The community channel is actually very good. (even though some crap do creep in every once in a while)
If you can zone out the noise around you, have a coffee machine within your chair's (assuming it has wheels) roll-range - you're all good.
PS : There's one problem that you can never rule out - interruptions from people around you, for that, you make a list of predefined answers :
9 -
This girl from financial department pissed me off so badly I took 15 minutes of my private time to slightly modify CSS and JS for her user in our intranet panel, made everything pink and blue, animate all the buttons to randomly barrel roll and made the mouse cursor explode colourful star particles with each click.
She *liked* it, said it was *sweet* and *apologized* for being an ass. Robbed me of all the satisfaction. :(6 -
So, when counting physical objects, my 4 year old daughter keeps starting at "zero." 🤓
It's the weirdest thing, and I've even tried to discourage it. But, hey, she uses it correctly...so, I'll just roll with it.3 -
Worst meeting I’ve been in?
Transitioning from an old system, the CEO said “We will transition on June 30th of next year or … heads … will … roll.”
Everyone knew what ‘heads will roll’ meant.
I wasn’t particularly worried because 90% of my work would be completed by December, the rest would be completed by the users (data transfers, etc.). Realistically, no reason we couldn’t transition by April or May.
June 15th comes around – CEO calls a meeting (managers, VPs, kind of a big deal) because we’re nowhere close to turning on the new system. Needless to say, I was a bit nervous, but my part had been done since November. I worked late nights, weekends, early mornings…I killed myself making sure the system was 100% ready.
CEO starts asking the different managers about what is taking so long…
Mgr-1: ”Well, we aren’t easily able to map our old customer records into the new system. The new system is too hard to use and taking a long time.”
Mgr-2: “We can’t reconcile until the customer records are in the database.”
Mgr-3: “We can’t proof the purchase orders until the customer accounts are reconciled.”
The ‘waiting on him/her’ excuse went around the room.
At this point, couple of the VPs look over at me …I felt like I just turned white …oh crap…I’m going to get fired because all these –bleep-holes just threw me under the bus.
CEO listens…nods…looks at my boss..
CEO: “OK, move the due date out 6 more months. Have your team help out in any way they can. I want this new system working correctly no matter how long it takes. If we need to move the date again, we just do.”
Part of me was relieved, other part was looking for a flame thrower. I worked myself to the bone, risked my marriage (in hindsight, I was not a nice person to her during that time), probably had an ulcer, and these sorry excuse for human beings dragged their asses for months and there was zero accountability.
That meeting was over 15 years ago and it bothered me so much I still remember the CEO was wearing a green button up shirt, khaki pants, and drinking coffee from a Break Time coffee cup.
Upside? Over the next couple of years, every one of those managers either quit or got fired.4 -
Named my dog sudo, so that i can call or command him with authority. Sudo sit! Sudo eat! Sudo roll over! Isn’t it cool?14
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Morning Deployment.
Me: Let's add this application to this server.
Deployer: Alright.
...
D: Done. Please verify.
Me: I'm seeing errors. Send me the logs.
D: Sure. I also updated the framework to a version that wasn't tested.
M: Yeah, that won't work. Roll it back.
D: Fine.
...
D: Done. Please verify.
M: All the applications on the box are broken. Please revert to the snapshot before the Deployment.
D: Oops, I didn't make one.
🙁😟😢😭😤1 -
Never in my life I was scared as today.
I recently left a big company to work for a small one as the first internal developer.
Had a small issue in the production server. The fix was easy, just remove a single table entry. And... *drum roll*... I forgot to add a where clause. All orders were lost.
No idea if we had backups or anything, I quickly called the one other IT dude in the company.
He had no clue where are the backups and how to find them.
Having some experience with Nmap, I quickly scanned our network and found a Nas device.
There was a backup, whole VHD backup. 300GB of it, the download speed is around 512kb/s. No way I can fix it before management finds out, but then an idea came to mind. Old glorious 7zip. Managed to extract only the database files, sent them to the server and quickly swapped them. Everything was fine... The manager connected 5 minutes later. Scariest 45 minutes of my life...20 -
No matter how much we complain about our programming language, our bosses, our co-workers, our teams, or anything else....
We'll never trade our Profession (coding) for any other job in the World.
That's How We Roll.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯3 -
It's 2018 and I am forced to add new features on project that was deployed in 2003 and lastly updated at 2009.
Best part is that PHP version on the production server is [drum roll] 4.3.8. I found out that this version was the latest at July 2003. On top of that, server runs on Windows Server 2003 and the database is oracle (meaning php driver is needed).
I have spent a WHOLE WEEK just trying to recreate that environment in order to start working on the new features.
Sorry for grumping but I had to take it out somewhere.12 -
This bitch at work is afraid of hard work and is currently spending more energy fighting the work than just doing it.
She wants to keep a legacy setting that's on the wrong scope -- per merchant, not per payment -- in addition to the setting I've added on the correct scope. She's bringing in management two levels up all because "I've already moved on from this" and "it will require me to write code quite a bit" (first paraphrased for clarity, second is an exact quote)
Bitch, your way is dirty as fuck and is going to break things. Roll up your sleeves and do your damn job!10 -
This is the GREAT ROLLING website that I ranted recently. I couldn't share more than this as other parts of the page contains sensitive information that is not out in the internet yet. The whole friggin page is like this. EVERYTHING ROLLS
25 -
STUPID SHIT ASS EMAIL POLICIES NOT ALLOWING ME TO SEND CERTAIN FILE TYPES TO A SUPPORT MEMBER WHEN THERE ARE FUCKING PROBLEMS WITH THE PRODUCTION SITE. THE GUY THAT SET UP THOSE POLICIES CAN ROLL THEM UP AND STICK THEM IN HIS ASS.
There that's better...10 -
Working really hard, finishing tasks, upgrading servers. Cancel some useless meetings to finish up features, working till 2am to get a database migration working. Half of the platform is transformed, both customers and team are very happy about their accomplishments.
Boss: "OK, I think we're on the right path with these changes, but productivity and morale is honestly disappointing. Are you guys sleeping enough? You all look very tired and unmotivated!"
Attend all meetings, call boss at 7am to discuss random purchases like a whiteboard, run around the office holding a (broken, lol) MacBook, looking very busy & slightly worried. I shout random things at people across the office like "Nice work Gary!" and "Damn, you are on a roll Angela!". I initiate smalltalk with department heads, only to immediately disrupt the conversation by checking my phone saying "Oh I really have to take this one" (empty battery, lol). No one writes a single line of code for four weeks, and nothing new has been deployed by the whole team.
Boss: "I think it's commendable how productive the team has become this month. You guys are all so active and involved. A real improvement!"6 -
Someone went to HR complaining about never getting a lunch... We're told to work them out amongst ourselves and cover, but he's never once asked us to cover.
So now we HAVE to take lunch and we HAVE to make up that time by staying late or coming in early.
There are days when I'm on a roll and I don't WANT to stop to take lunch. It fucks with my rhythm and I end up breaking shit. We're all adults, why the fuck can't people act like it?8 -
The corporate cunts have no clue how manufacturing facilities work. They decided to roll out major changes to their financial systems that control how workers report their hours.
They decide that Dec 29th is a good idea. We are a 24/7 operation and the last 3 days of the year are the busiest time of the year by far trying to meet quotas.
Even today they are trying to finish functionality and are unsure how certain parts will work. This will be a disaster. -
Anyone here put Easter eggs in their code, and care to share examples?
I made a custom script to rotate a log file once a day in my program. So at the bottom of the roll I added a nice little print. See attached.
16 -
Oh, we don't know why it broke. I know you just did A HUGE FUCKING DATABASE SEVER UPGRADE to the server we're connected to, but no one understands this code, so can't update it to work. Can you roll back 3 VERSIONS so our application that hasn't had a code change in 11 years is optimized?2
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"please use a secure password*"
* But don't make it too secure, 20 Charakters is enough.
Why would you fucking do this? The only reason I can think about is a scenario like this:
"How do we store the passwords in the database?"
"Just like anything else?"
"So I create a VARCHAR(20)?"
"Yeah why not? It's good enough for a name, and you shouldn't use your or anyone else's name as a password, so it should be perfect"10 -
Holy shit balls it works (so far)
-
So I’ve been working on a project... well feature for the past year (yes 12 whole fucking months - anti agile I know)
And today I got to merge that bitch of a pull request into the current working branch and deploy it to UAT - no conflicts 😵I think I need to put the lottery on tonight!
And some how, by some stupid lucky roll of the dice it just works.
I have never felt so afraid and delighted in my life!6 -
Always make smaller commits! Easy to roll back, easy to cherry-pick, easy to debug when identifying when something went wrong.2
-
Trash, trash, trash.
Who the fuck writes this shit?
Who the fuck lets these trash should-be-junior devs roll their own crypto? and then approves it?
The garbage heap of a feature (signing for all apis) doesn't follow Ruby standards, doesn't follow codebase conventions, has `// this is bridge` style comments (and no documentation), and it requires consumer devs to do unnecessary work to integrate it, and on top of all this: it leaks end-user data. on all apis. in plaintext.
Fucking hell.8 -
I was about to ask my manager to roll me out off the project in my company.. it has been 4 years .... Yesterday he came and told me he is going to give me an big fat Raise !3
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Our client needs this for today, you'll need to stay late and finish it. *6h later* Clients' QA went for vacation, seems like they will roll it out next week.5
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Job BS that made me consider quitting? If you find my previous rants, you find a lot of BS.
Here is one (attached is the actual email sent to me.)
TL;DR. The biggest BS part is the fact that I *got approval* from my boss to work on the migration and we already 'owned' specific project and no one else was working on it.
After I got the email (my boss sits right next to me)
Me: "Whoa..what's this!? Two weeks ago you gave me the green light to work on it."
C: "Oh yea...I forgot. Sorry."
<yes, the BS flags thrown all all over the place>
Me: "I'll schedule a meeting with everybody and straighten this out."
C: "That's a good idea, but I'll take care of it."
<10 min. later>
C: "Sorry, J said his word was final. You are not supposed to work on the project."
Me: "I never said I wanted to work on the project, it's already finished and with your approval. That's what I want straightened out."
C: "Yea..yea...I know, but J said to roll back your changes. I tried everything I could to change his mind."
Me: "I don't want his mind...never mind...I'll go talk to the boss if J won't listen"
C: "About that..um...the directive came directly from the boss. It's probably best you roll back the changes and forget this happened."
I knew then the well was already poisoned, so anything I said could be grounds for dismissal (the boss had an itchy 'firing' finger)
Time and karma took care of most of the rage. Not really a month later my boss was demoted back to developer and working on dead-end projects (porting data for reports).
6 -
Just got a new TV, 4K... it’s one of those smart ones, by Samsung.
Anyone want to explain what the fuck “McAfee Security for TV” is, and why the fuck it is necessary!?
What kind, of absolute waster madman goes “I know what I’ma do today, write a virus for a tv”!?
Take that shit elsewhere McAfee.
Now accepting any links to known Smart TV 0-days and attacks...
And I had to sign in to 5 different fucking accounts to get to the fucking tv.
The world is broke as fuck. Roll on the apocalypse.30 -
As a software engineer, I decided to participate in a hardware Hackathon. I went in not knowing much about the subject, but by the end of the weekend, we made a fully functioning (somewhat janky) jacket that could roll up or roll down its own sleeves depending on what your body temperature was (inspired by Back to the Future 2). We also created a remote, so you could control the length of the sleeves as well. It was the most off-the-wall, ballin project I've ever been a part of.10
-
So yesterday I deployed a build on our release environment and i had added a new rest api end-point which I needed to test.. A heads up though, its written in java spring and the entire flow consisted of too many calls/returns from various other java & python services.. Also to make things worse, the entire deployment is a really cumbersome process as you need to copy the build from one box to another..
After like almost 4-5 hours of debugging, adding logs left right & center, crazy upload speeds (yaa this is sarcastic) and frustation at its peak, I found the issue..
There was an if condition that was checking for equality between an enum constant & an enum in a request aaaannnnnddd
*Drum roll
THE CONSTANT ENUM BELONGED TO THE WRONG PACKAGE HENCE ALWAYS EVALUATING TO FALSE... ALSO, BOTH THE ENUMS IN THE DIFFERENT PACKAGES ARE IDENTICAL... FUCCKKKKKKK MY LIFE
😑🔫1 -
Vim users: You're the vegans of the programming world. No one cares that you use Vim.
Emacs users: You're to Vim users what vegetarians are to vegans.
Now, I'm not saying Vim is bad, or even that all Vim users are like that. I just roll my eyes every time I see someone bragging about how they use Vim.
If you wanna use Vim, use Vim. Just don't act like it makes you a superior coder.12 -
> be me, 1AM, in bed
> get rando text, 5 digit number: "are you still awake?"
> "who is this?"
> *hears car roll out of driveway*
mmhmm yep absolutely not shitting my pants rn no15 -
Fucking finally. I got a job... No one is probably gonna give a shit because it's your average governmental drone position but I wanted this for a very long time...
** drum roll **
Customs and immigration officer!!!
Thats right! Deported! Deported! Deported! *hot chick* welcome to our country!
Best thing is... Now every project can be a side project... I can chillax and build software in my spare time... I love it.9 -
Starting a third year computer science course. Lesson 1 of web API production. Git. Lecturer tells us to do a different branch for every commit so it's easy to roll back.
Nice.8 -
I signed up for a 3 day course on c++ for revision purposes since I haven't used it in years, it was there, so why not.
So we get an email about having to install linux mint beforehand. Naturally, having ubuntu installed, i just ask if I can roll with that. And the answer is:
"Yes you just need to install the compiler, but then you won't get the credit point for the course, since you have not completed all tasks."
And an instruction was attached innthe general email on to how to create a bootable usb stick with windows and set up the partition (!) for a dualboot system for like 10 gigs of linux.
Bruh.
Da fuq.
I'm coming for the c++ not the linux. Also how do you think I've got ubuntu running in the first place? I get it the course is for beginners probably but still.
Also, after reading the instructions and knowing Windows 10 i can see bootloader issues incoming...
Was looking forward to that course now I'm not so sure. 🤔
(Sidenote: i don't care about the point I could get ftom this)10 -
So we are in computer lab with some bitch ass c++ program on the board,,its approx. 150 sloc with lot of if's and else's...halfway into the session my friend rolls on his chair comes to my system asking for help, i say sure dude why not.
So we both roll to his system and that bastard has 0 indentation,a set of brackets for every if else even for non-compound statements with every bracket in a line of its own.......
With great difficulty of restraining myself from punching him in the face,,,i politely ask him"Have you ever coded in python"
He says no
I say "that was a rhetorical question"
Everyone around us bursts into laughter and that poor lad still has no idea what just happened
Python should be made compulsory for fags like these,, they'll know the meaning of indentation only then7 -
Setup my port honeypot today finally, including port 22, then wrote a custom dashboard for some data tracking, feels great to have it open on my screen seeing the bans just roll in every 2 seconds of refresh, the highest hits are as expected from china, russia and india, also filed ~700 reports and already got 300 banned from their service. (mainly Microsoft Azure for whatever reason)
I wanted to first automate that (or atleast blacklist report to various IP lists via API), but then I was afraid that I'll be one day stupid enough to somehow get banned - don't want myself to get reported lol5 -
So it happened that a roll of my office chair broke. Since the ordering process in our company is a nightmare and takes forever AND my employer is too cheap to buy enough adequate replacement, I had to draw and print a spare part myself...
9 -
Be me, miss specifying the item in an array so a drop-down doesn't work, get fired from the project and moved to a much lesser project.
Be the other guy, fuck up the app so bad you have to roll back 3 weeks worth of work...no big deal...1 -
My productivity hack? Exercise.
It's amazing what a good workout can do after a long day of work. The stress just melts away and i sleep like a baby!! Ready to rock and roll the next day. 😎4 -
so im deciding to byte the bullet and roll down the angular road.
install node they say, its quick and easy they say... 1 hour later after
./configure
make
im starting to wonder if i made the right decision.10 -
I’m not going to “automate” us out of a job ! *eye roll* We just shouldn’t be doing things a computer can do AND do faster/more accurately!1
-
I know it's not trending anymore but talking about poor products - the Pokemon GO app! I mean, that shit is the Windows Vista of apps. Never before have I seen a product that crashes on the simplest gui tasks.
And after a month they finally roll an update which consists of.. "Minor text fixes"! $#%!2 -
Been tinkering with circuits all afternoon, and then i made the mistake of eating some pastry right off of my table. Pretty sure i ingested like half a roll of solder lmao.8
-
Microsoft will roll out the real Curl in Windows 10 now. It's already released for Insider-Builds.14
-
Microsoft, you can't sneak this past me! I notice you're putting rounded corners in specific parts of your OS, and I don't like it. It's inconsistent with your design and your slow roll-out of the rounding makes things round in some areas (such as the context menu in the calculator app) and square in other areas! (such as the context menu anywhere else)
All I'm saying is either do it everywhere, or do it nowhere.
(I realize the terminal is not an official application YET, but it's a good example)
8 -
Worked for a friend of mine in the early 2000s. Had to implement a booking system into PHP for some private customer. This was PHP 4.something, the CMS was some alpha release of an open source project that my friend was sure was the future (it wasn't), and the specs were one A4 page of pencil scribbles that he took while talking to the customer.
Deadline was insane, nothing worked. I worked from getting up to laying down to get shit done, not being able to sleep, feeling stressed all the time. One week before roll-out I actually managed to get it running and we showed it to the customer. He was like "nope, that's not what I meant" and demanded lots of changes but accepted only one or two weeks of roll-out delay.
I did finish the job, made some good money, but then quit as soon as it was done.
This experience broke me so much that I worked in a workshop for 2 years to get away from programming as far as I possibly could.2 -
"200 Internal Server Error"
Yep, I did that. Because the lousy crapheads I work with were too lazy to handle any other HTTP status so anything else breaks the whole thing. And it's a pain to roll out another release of their part of the backend so "this isn't a priority". Also, they don't feel the need to check the JSON body of the response for the "status":"ok"/"fail" because what could ever go wrong, right? I effectively have no way of conveying to them that there was an error on this end of the API so they show success toast on the frontend irrespective of what really happened.6 -
Manager 1: "We're going to hold a small meeting because of a new project."
Me: "Okay, cool. What project is it about?"
Manager 1: "Project X".
ME: "Right. What's the domain name?"
Manager 2: "Well there's this design but it's entirely made up. Just a concept."
Manager 1: "Wait, there's no more toner."
Manager 1 and 2 take 20 minutes to fix the printer, so manager 1 can print out an e-mail. They both return to their seats. No meeting happens. I roll a smoke and go outside to flip through LinkedIn for the nth time this week.3 -
Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂3 -
I can't even deal with this. We just deployed a new update to our system, and everything was going smoothly. And then, out of nowhere, we started getting a bunch of error messages and user complaints.
Why do these things always happen? We spent hours trying to figure out the source of the problem, and it turns out it was because we didn't do enough testing before the deployment. Are you kidding me?
I know that testing can be time-consuming, but seriously, this is ridiculous. It's frustrating when something like this happens, especially when we're under a tight deadline. And to make matters worse, we had to roll back the deployment and start all over again. I just want to throw my computer out the window.
Uuuugghhh!2 -
So, I'm a Jr. Webdev started one year ago to work on a €200mln. retail platform. Our development team consists out of my Sr. dev who designed the whole platform and it's basically his baby. Now he's leaving and it's expected from me to do new developments, support, meetings with managers from all over Europe, roll-outs in new countries, deal with all the issues SAP has, eat their bullshit when they can't upload a .csv file because they are too stupid to check for missing leading zeros. Listen to important their new functions are that they want because 120% of the salespeople needs it. How stupid can this company be to take the financial risk? I'm done.9
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This is the Result Declaration form of our university, It's all good but there is one thing (bug) in this form, you only need to fill the Recaptcha once and you can that same Recaptcha to extract as many results as you want. Though not a Security issue, we can extract results of many students as roll numbers are sequential, we just need a bot to fill roll number and click the button. The only use would be to conduct surveys on results, but, a bug is a bug.
5 -
There's this huuuge project I was a part of for half a year. I was kicked off along with a few dozens of other devs (>60% of total manpower) a while ago for particular company reasons.
Now the remaining devs are oh-so-enjoying their time there..
1. workload has not changed
2. deadlines have not changed
3. no one will have Christmas-NewYear vacation
4. a new k8s-based infra is scheduled to roll out to PROD on Dec 23 (k8s is still far from ready - might need a few more months)
The most fun part is that it's not client's mgmt who has decided for #4 -- it's our own....
Boys.. Girls.. Save yourselves.3 -
As a college student, best part of being a dev is when there is no class, but instead of being happy for going home earlier to do whatever like everyone else, my happiness comes from being able to stay late at work, and put that project to roll.
Only developers can feel that. -
Here's a life hack for you.
If you're ever in need of a whiteboard for drawing/sketching, grab a few white a4 paper sheets, a roll of transparent duct tape, tape both sheets together side-by-side. Cover both sheets with tape
et voila! You have yourself a portable & foldable whiteboard!
The more sheets you involve, the bigger the whiteboard will be :)
P.S. It's very handy!!12 -
Dialogue when I entered the room of a co-worker, and it wasn't an individual office.
Me: YO MAMA her son bitching 'bout compiler licence?
Him: Kiss my ass!
Me: Could cram a wet roll of toilet paper down your pants.
Him: Yeah that'd come pretty close.
Other co-workers: WTF?12 -
Amazing API's and SEX!
Alright people, now that I've got your attention, I'm getting to the point where I need to plan and roll out a solid API for a project. So after reading a lot of the horror stories written here, What are the finer points of what makes an amazing API experience to use and integrate with over a poor one?
And don't say documentation (If you do explain why) 😁11 -
WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ONLY KEEPING THE LAST 10 BUILD ARTIFACTS IN ARTIFACTORY?!
THAT IS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE IT
NOW I CAN'T ROLL BACK PROD CHANGES TO A WORKING VERSION BECAUSE IT LITERALLY DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE
FUCK YOU, IT'S YOUR FIRE NOW9 -
you wanna know what the most hilarious shit is? hackernews users AKA the 6 figure startup bros that "rule the world" in terms of code and software...
trying to argue the best way to build a website 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
here's some select quotes:
"I believe the most minimalistic and productive way is to just use php"
^ this guy must not know its 2023 now
"Unless you are a web developer I don't see the point of a CSS framework, it's much easier to roll your own."
^ this guy must not know the pain and suffering that is 'rolling your own' in CSS
"Sadly, I just don't have the time to generate the content I wanted to do, so the site sits."
^ this guy just... wait, what?
but you know what? these guys clearly know WAY more than me in terms of software, it's good they get infinite salad bar and prime rib every day at silicon valley's best and brightest!
please fucking kill me i want it to end16 -
At my first internship I always had to cleanup the lunch area (after the lunch of course) and they would leave everything... One guy even left the crusts of his bread and so I had to cleanup everything. But the same guy one time left the crusts of an crusty bread roll... I mean what, how? WHY?? Who would do something like this?
11 -
So apparently the CIO knows all about my team lead sucking it up as a boss, and is letting him do it. He's constantly on the team leads ass about stuff and it's stressing him out.
The CIO wants him to stop being so micro managey and let the team handle things... But instead of telling the team lead that, he'd rather just blast him constantly and stress him out which makes it roll onto us and stress the whole team out.
I wish the CIO would just tell him to square up or just fire him... This stress isn't good for anyone. -
Fucking shit i just had a 3 days chat with google's cloud engineer about an issue i had in a project. eventually the issue occured due to an update they made on some projects involving IAM changes that required some changes from my part in my security toles. Like wtf haven't you heard of data fixes when you roll out such changes?! I just had my production env down for 72hours for their fuckup.
At least send an email regarding it so we could set it up in time1 -
We have a badly out of shape but functional product , the result of a "if its not broke don't fix it" mentality. The only thing manangement cares is our next release and making meetings to plan other meetings...
Now comes the time of the security Audit (PCI)...
Manager : oh noooo the audit will fix this issue, quickkk fix it !
Us : welllll its a lengthy process but doable, we just gotta do a,b,c,d,e . Part a is essentially what we need the rest are refactoring bits of the system to support part a since the performance would be shit otherwise
Manager: can you do part a before the audit starts ?
Us: yep.
Manager: do it . Oh and pop those other issues on JIRA so we can track em
Audit completed....
Manager: so we got through ok?
Us : 👍 yep
Manager: okayy, take those other issues..... and stick em at the bottom of the back log...
Us : huh ? *suspicious faces*..... okay but performance is gonna be poor with the system as it is cuz of part A....
Manager: yeaaahhh * troll face* ....about that.... roll it back and stick that too at the bottom of the log. We got to focus our next release. Lemme schedule a meeting for that 😊
Us : faceplam4 -
Didn't know about using php includes for headers and footers when I coded my first big site. Now having to go back through and add it in page by page so I can roll out updates more easily down the line. Bleeeuuggghhh1
-
Code is sat in UAT for a month and no one looks at it. Two days before the (completely arbitrary) go live date and testing commences, finding one bug which is immediately fixed. And now I'm the one allegedly delaying roll-out. Err OK...1
-
Do after been made redundant! A few interviews I finally was offered a job! \0/
Now I ended up meeting the team yesterday they said an hour or two and I ended up spending 4 hours with them and have a blast!
Normally I would be #tgif but roll on Monday for me!2 -
!dev
i made some dice for displaying health, when playing Magic the Gathering.
They're not exactly fair, but you also don't roll them. I ordered the numbers in a way, so whenever you loose or gain health, you don't need to look for the next/previous number, since it's always nearby.
They're made using a resin printer and painted with oil based lacquer.
8 -
When i was younger, lesser experienced and more naive than now; i got away with a lot of things. By lot of things i mean security flaws in my applications and overall architecture. I realise now i could've so easily been pawned.
Not that i claim to be totally secure even now, or would ever. It is a process, slow and painful one - Learning.
What i wish to point out is the role of favorable probability (non believers would call it luck). Security is so much about it. You get away with so many things for so long. And bang one day the roll of dice is unfavorable. On such rare occasions, just look back and wonder - damn i should've been breached long ago.2 -
it was not a technical interview.
just screening.
guy: tell me smth about redis.
me: key value, in memory storage.
guy: more
me: umm, the concept is similar to localStorage in browsers, key value storage, kinda in memory.
guy: so we use redis in browsers?
me: no, I mean the high level concept is similar.
guy: (internally: stupid, fail).3 -
Creator of the react router:
If you ever see this, you created one of the greatest library with one of the worst documentation ever.
And don't get me started with versions. In every single versions, you break everything so badly and nothing works anymore.
Everytime I need to do something related to react router, I just fucking roll on the floor and cry. Documentation is fucked up.
It's totally fucked up. In the github there's one documentation, in the website there's a different. At the end, nothing works.
Please, if you want to create a nice library like this, maintain it. If you can't maintain it, mark it as deprecated and someone will take over.
But keeping something like this and making it absolutely inconsistent doesn't help. I am really tired of debugging bugs related to react-router2 -
A previous colleague of mine had plenty of years in the industry as a Java developer, but somehow still had absolutely no idea what he was doing. We used to send screenshots of his PRs to each other just to give our eye balls something to roll about - I have never seen anything like it, anywhere.
After multiple warnings of never delivering a single thing he eventually "voluntarily" left the company. He now works at a school teaching programming to students. The circle is complete. -
Does your team also tend to get stuck in the MVP Trap?
You ship a barebones version of a feature. Zero polish. That’ll be done later if it’s successful.
When the stats roll in it seems the feature got a lukewarm reception. A few users liked it, but it wasn’t a hit.
Next sprint starts and everyone asks if we should spend more time on it
The PM argues ”Why would we spend time polishing something no one uses?”
The designer argues ”Well of course no one used it, it looks like shit, we gotta spend some time polishing it!”
It becomes a chicken or the egg scenario.
Your product ends up with a bunch of half assed features. not bad enough to remove, not good enough to spend more time on.4 -
I find it very strange and telling when people tell me that a dev shouldn't "re-invent the wheel", "roll your own" or "leave it to the experts" while simultaneously promoting substandard own-rolled projects by other people that simply got popular.
Kind of a strange elitist double standard that encourages a bad mindset of "I can't be as good as them" and it's toxic.
If you wanna make your own framework / package / etc, just do it, it might even be better.7 -
when will the next update roll out? (devrant unofficial uwp)
I think the changelog will be an essay.....
@JS964 -
Got a new laptop, but it was not properly working, so while waiting for it to get replaced, I have to use the old one again.
Feels like the CPU is a freaking potato!2 -
Xiaomi's bootloader unlock procedure is So. Fucking. Tedious. I have no words... oh wait, I do. HIDING THE PERMISSION BEHIND A HUNDRED DEVICE-SIDE SWITCHES WON'T MAKE IT ANY SAFER, IT WILL ONLY MAKE MODDERS ANGRY. Why do you need a third switch besides OEM unlock and USB debugging anyway? If I toggled OEM unlock it's obvious what I'm trying to do and every other option should change to comply with that intent. Don't roll your own Android if you know fuckall about UX.9
-
How many of you have started a job and ended up doing something totally different, and how did deal with it?
I was hired to be an SQL Developer, writing reports, views, stored procedures etc, but knew I would be asked to do some work on some internal c# apps.
Roll on almost 2 years and I'm pretty much a DBA in all but name, and the C# app I was supposed to be doing a little work on is now mine, so as well as being the sole programmer, I'm also the product owner, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd line support.
All of this and I've not even had a change in title, let alone a pay rise that reflect the new roles and responsibilities I've taken on.9 -
Who else is loving the twitter dumpster fire? He threatens to fire the devs if they don't roll out the verified account to anyone willing to pay.
The shipped that bomb just like you demanded assface.
15 -
Web Developers: We care about the people around us.
Also Web Developers (right before release): The fuck with ARIA, just roll out the website already.4 -
Our new potential customer requires us to have <Feature>.
Can you implement <Feature> before your vacation? We'd like to roll it out while you're away.
<Feature> has been in discussion since 2018, our competitors developed it for years while we deemed it too much effort, my vacation starts next week and it is fucking Wednesday.1 -
At my last gig, part of our business process was to generate a unique human-readable ID that could tie an individual to our product and service. Well, we had a few rather superstitious, paranoid and vocal customers who felt 'uneasy' when they received their unique ID with 666 in it.
So after having a good laugh and roll on the floor, I got to write an exorciseUniqueId() method that compelled the evil numbers to stop possessing those innocent IDs!4 -
Now that I work from home as a freelancer, my favourite way to get through a tough day is:
1. Scream internally
2. Realise I’m getting over-stressed
3. Roll myself a blunt
4. Smoke said blunt
5. Dick about on YouTube / internet for a while
6. Make myself a drink (tea etc)
7. Come back and work the problem with a better perspective and fresh eyes.3 -
Less stressful days from now on! Thanks guys! It took only 1 month and 5 days to them to travel from New York to Central Finland, but all worth it.
10 -
The next time I hear some idiot defending his shitpile of code with the argument " BuT iT wOrKs wHy ChAnGe" some heads gonna' roll.4
-
The best way to describe what I had to do today is I "Channeled Macgyver"... now production is working.
⚪Data wasn't flowing as expected.
⚪Component written by our team was blamed.
⚪Boss asked me to bypass the component so data can flow.
Sure, I can fix that... Give me a car battery, a roll of duck tape and a butter knife. Data will be flowing in production shortly. -
Job BS that made me consider quitting?
Huh. so timely.
With my previous employer, it was the whole "we're doing Agile and sprints and all the things" with "finish the project in six weeks plus here are some more requirements" garbage. Plus my tech lead always let the business roll over her and add unplanned requirements during a sprint without adjusting the deadlines set by the project managers. In summary: a fuck-all combination of Waterfall deadlines, Kanban tickets and Scrum timeboxes.
At my current employer, it's our business partners who're a bunch of douchebags that don't plan for anything except making sure their bonuses stay intact. Recently they terminated support for a third-party product that literally drives 99% of their web application then says to us "Hey, we need to build our own replacement for the vendor product using an entirely new stack. You have 3 months or our clients will get pissed." Oh, and these business partners keep raising new issues without any documentary basis except "this doesn't feel right" when they test our in-progress work. So helpful <sarcasm />
On the bright side, I'm getting paid whether or not this project fails, so... meh. -
Unreal Engine fun continues...
so I need to set limits to rotations within a skeletal mesh. So in other programms, like blender, you can specify a limit per axis, setting max and min angle. Makes sense, right?
Unreal Engine:
1. Let's call rotations sometimes xyz, sometimes roll pitch yaw, and sometimes swing1 swing2 and twist so that nobody knows what it is anymore.
2. IK node 1: limits? what are limits?
3. IK node 2: ok, you can set angular limits but they are all symmetrical to god knows what and to all axis apperently.
4. Physics: yeah you can define joint constraints but we give you only symmetrical constraints also
....
WHY. Were does this make any sense? One node is not like the other, and they talk rotations but use 100 different terms for them, since, hey, why the f not. And let's limit everything symmetricly so you can only set one value or have to fiddle with offsets to achive the range of movement you want.
I mean, one could just stick to xyz (or even roll/pitch/yaw, whatever) and min/max but hey, that's one extra field and then it would be easy to use. Who would want that? ....10 -
I'm delirious so here's your daily dose of fuck:
```fasm
; --- * --- * ---
; 64-bit byte-by-byte mash
macro clamp_u8 {
mov cl,$08;
mov rdx,rax;
rept 8 \{
rol rdx,cl;
xor al,dl;
\};
};
; --- * --- * ---
; give 8-bit random seed
macro prng_u8 {
rdtsc;
shl rdx,32;
or rax,rdx;
clamp_u8;
};
; --- * --- * ---
; roll dice
d20: prng_u8;
; x%20, according to gcc ;>
mov edi,eax;
mov eax,-51;
mul dil;
shr ax,12;
lea eax,[rax+rax*4];
lea edx,[0+rax*4];
mov eax,edi;
sub eax,edx;
; discard high and give
and rax,$FF;
ret;
```
I guess `d20` could be inlined too but I thought it'd be too much.
Is it faster than straight C? Probably not. But it's way lighter, so it loads faster. Below five hundred bytes mother fucker.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go sit in the darkness repeteadly typing roll 1d20 on the terminal. For reasons.9 -
Oh man setting up postfix and dovecot (plus things like rspamd) is a pain in the ass.
But it's worth it, having your own mail server is just quite a good feeling.
Now I just need to find out how to get it to pass the spam filter of Google, despite the server and the DNS zone being well-configured (better than my school's mail server according to tests, but that one still manages to pass. I have no idea why.)9 -
I'm soon leaving one of my SysAdmin jobs. Guess how I'll troll everyone then...
Right! I'll apply a Windows 10 total conversion onto all Linux client systems!
MUHAHAHAHA!
*note: some colleagues often ask if we could use windows instead - well, no.*
*note2: we have automatic provisioning and roll-out, so switching a theme is done with 20 lines of config code*
GDM:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1167924/
Icon:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1167936/
Cursor:
https://gnome-look.org/p/999870/
GTK3:
https://gnome-look.org/p/1013482/1 -
Unpopular opinion:
Version control is shit, just rewrite it every time you change something and need to roll back.
Convince me otherwise!6 -
Was in the middle of working on a game I had been working on for a couple months but had the original copy already corrupt so I was working on bringing it's backup up to the originals point...
Suddenly the power went down mid save, turned the computer on aaaaaaaaand it's corrupt, ended up cancelling the game because I didn't have time to rewrite and build everytbing from scratch again...
Now I don't use hard backups, all gets backed up to the cloud for easy roll back 👍2 -
So this one is interesting.
As I have mentioned on my site, I'd be one of the below:
1. Anthropologist
2. Archaeologists
3. Sound engineer
4. Musician or Artist of some kind
5. Travel guide
6. Museum curator
7. Or maybe own & run a Burger joint with Rock n' Roll playing all day
After spending much time in front of screen, I felt like would on field job be better for me, in terms of physical and mental well being?10 -
So... Google Chrome on Android got an update (just reset my phone so maybe some funky Google roll out) and... I don't know how I feel...
I love it so much but hate it at the same time...
8 -
So while everyone is posting their devdesk, here I'm contemplating whether to clean or buy new or just roll back and ignore I have never seen this.
I'm in a mudaphuking closed air conditioning room. Where did all this came from?
6 -
Asked to do reporting on all of our workstations and servers patching compliance. Invited to team meeting with head administrator which should know where this data is stored and how to get to it. After five minutes can already tell this guy is all talk and has no clue about anything. To make matters worse he has a list of certifications and qualifications in his email signature. I figure out on my own where the data is, how to get access to it, and build reports which show just how terrible the head administrator is at patching and in general just useless. Roll forward two months, his boss comes and tells me useless admin has been let go and that I'll have a new admin to work with that actually knows stuff. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE GET HIRED!?
-
Spending all day sitting in a chair takes its toll on my back. Lumbar and intra-scapular areas are ssssoooooo sore that I can't even stretch them out properly any more (I'm quite a flexible person).
Thanks to my closest shopping centre for this double foam-ball. It's the best investment I've made in years and it only cost me 4€.
Whenever I lay and roll on it slowly I usually drift into sleep out of pleasure.
It's not an ad or anything, just a recommendation to my fellow IT guys and gals suffering back pains from sitting all day long.
7 -
I have a sleep roll and I purr like a cat when I cuddle with it up.
Go ahead, judge me, I’ll beat you to death.7 -
Desk inventory(not counting computer hardware):
-Three interlocking polished high density particle board squares, cut by an industrial-grade 3d printer at the office of an architect friend. I use them as coasters.
-A roll of toilet paper, as I have a deviated septum and blow my nose so often that proper facial tissue would be wasteful.
-A landline phone, for work. I'm thinking about getting rid of it though, as I can do the majority of my work phone calls through Google Hangouts and our company's webrtc client, and because it costs me about $7 a month for the service, through ooma.
What's on your desk? No computer hardware, please. Also, please try to use your words, because it's a lot of fun to imagine the layout rather than see it.6 -
What a day.
Reviewing and merging a months worth of work, configuring cloudformation for the new changes, and deploying to the staging environment when err mer gawd AWS decides to shit it's self.
Nothing like spotting "rollback in progress" and then not being able to access the EC2 instance... or ANY instance for that matter, from the console, so I'm like fine , I'll just wait for the roll back to finish.... it's usually only 5-10 minutes but no.... 3 hours later.
Guess I know what I'll be trying again tomorrow.
https://itnews.com.au/news/...7 -
this guy. when I can't decide I roll and hope it's some: specific number || < || >
many breaks decided by him.
1 -
Snapchat introduced stories, WhatsApp copied it.
Now its time for Facebook stories.
Stories everywhere! Copycats!
https://techcrunch.com/2017/03/...
2 -
Story time.
Previous role.
Have a BA working and overseeing the team.
Development is an absolute shit show at the company.
Basically constantly focussed on putting out fires and reeling from the 100 WTF’s a minute thanks to the batshit code the yes-men offshore Indian devs had created.
I’m quite outspoken, and don’t just roll over when people are cunts to me.
I ended up in so many meetings about communication and tone, merely because I wasn’t putting up with the BA’s two-faced cuntery where he tried to be my friend but at the same time be an utter fucking jobsworth.
Genuinely, I really got so close to decking him a few times.
Pic related.
1 -
I’ve done it again. I started a new online business thinking that some out of the box solutions would work for managing it. Turns out, in spite of my initial thinking that I had covered the bases, it turns out that none of those solutions fully matches my business requirements. So now I have to either rely on my own wits and poor coding skills to roll my own solution or spend money I don’t have to pay someone smarter than me to code my vision all while hoping I’ll find enough customers to recover the cost. What was I thinking?!7
-
Trying not to roll my eyes when they say they are like family(or adjacent things like we go to lunch togther etc) to convince me or they imply money shouldn’t be my highest priority…
-
Man I hate programming tests that have no practical application. I'm not doing one yet, just saw an example question that made me go...ok...I kinda get what you want but..why would you EVER need this. Googled and the consensus is that..*drum roll* you wouldn't ever need it because it's only useful to see if someone can solve it in an interview.
Why not give actual problems or at least actual test cases of things that way you can see if people can solve actual real life problems. Wouldn't that prove that people can reason their way through things or not? See if they can provide a good solution for something that someone else has already encountered instead of some nonsense that wouldn't have an actual practical application?
Maybe it's just me but if you give me a problem that sounds like it's useless for some reason my brain just goes, "Ah this sounds like it's useless, better not actually devote all my brain power to this"...4 -
Well, this week was a week from hell. It was a short 3 day week, and all of my internal Customers, who are normally pretty reasonable, just all unloaded on me at the same time. "We need this now!" "Have you done this?" "Why didn't you do that?" "We need you to do this, because our migration takes place in 30 minutes." (first notice of the migration). And then to top everything off, I'm creating a rollback DDL, and I've spent a couple of hours pulling my hair out, because a set of columns that need rolled back aren't in Prod, so I can't roll them back, because my own DDL drops them, and broadcast my natural meltdown to the entire DevOps team, feeling like an utter jackass after I realize my mistake. And even at quitting time, they are still walking up, and texting, and emailing. Holy f**k, I'm only going to be gone four days, two of them weekend, and will be back. All of this while trying to sell my house and pack boxes and move to an apartment. Can I retire now? Looks at retirement account... Nope, I'll be working until I'm 95. Just shoot me already!1
-
!dev
My toilet paper roll is fucked, the rip line only goes half the width of the roll so it always tears off a part of the next piece
We cannot live in a world of chaos8 -
Roll into game development, preferably one with not so much crunch.
But i have yet to actually make my own game, the path behind me is filled with unfinished projects.
At least I'm a half decent backend developer.14 -
When you cannot find the solution to the Linux problem on Google but also don't wanna roll back to windows, so you gotta reinstall Linux for the 4th time. FML10
-
So we have this team that deploys some code. We had a change in that code that "we" forgot about. Turns out, a dev on our team decided it would be cool to rename an endpoint. Why? Great question. Because. So this code gets deployed, but the call to that endpoint didn't get deployed. System 2 tries to call the endpoint, 404. We roll back, we're searching, after like an hour, we find it. We go to TFS to see who did it. The dev grabs my keyboard and starts checking diffs, somehow managing to skip their commit (from 5 months earlier). I take back my keyboard and *surprise* it was the commit that was skipped. WTF? Why did you rename that endpoint? What do you mean you didn't do it? It has your name right there!3
-
Mine: not listening to early warning sings that shit won't work. As a result we implemented the wrong technology and had to roll back after a month in production. Lost some customers data, though we had backups, so it was just a delta of a day or so. Still, not pretty, had a rough night writing scripts at 3am to check data validity after.
I will throw in another one from a colleague of mine. He was running some database migrations and ended up pointing the DB migration tool to production by accident. Oops. That one required a restore as well, if I remember correctly. -
1st. Put my Razor Blackshark Aviator headset on. Noise cancellation the low-tech way with full earcups.
2nd. I go on music genre binges for weeks at a time. Lately I've been listening to Viking inspired Dark Folk music like Wardruna, Fejd, Corvus Corax, and Forndom. That came after I did a month of proto rock n roll blues from the southern United States like Leadbelly, Blind Willie Johnson, and Mississippi John Hurt. I also drop some liquid DnB on a bender here and there.
3rd. I set up Hyper.is terminal to use the power plugin that makes sparks fly off of each keystroke.
4th. I set up Atom to work similarly with a continuous code counter that keeps a score of how long and fast you type continuously when coding. It also throws sparks off of the cursor as you type.
5th. Pop my neck and fingers and geterdun.2 -
So we have this project that we are hosting on our testing server for presentation purposes ( already provisioning prod server ).
Our boss was presenting it to investors and my superior committed a bug there and was asking me help to figure out how to fix it (yeah.. he doesn't know how to checkout last commits in git... fml), and I realised the presentation might still be going on... so I asked: isn't boss showing it to investors?
superior: lol, idk maybe.
me: right... ( I proceed to roll back changes ) bye, have a good lunch.
And here I am having lunch considering my life choices. -
Started my summer internship at a company working on their codebase about two weeks ago. I expected a lot of differences from school, but not this much. I still have no clue what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm getting stuff done, and it's helping out, but I still have no idea what is going on.
Oh, also, we use outdated Javascript frameworks... I don't actually know Javascript yet but we're just gonna roll with it2 -
Not as a dev, but in college I worked in the student union. For my boss's birthday they lured him out of his office and told me to TP it. So I did. And I went all out. They thought I would only use one roll. I used 5 or 6. All over his lamps, desk, I made streamers, everything. Too bad the dude turned out to be a power hungry dick and fucked things up for everybody.
-
Go to google and type in "do a barrel roll" and see what happens... I wonder how many people now about this5
-
!rant
oh my god, look what I found.
http://f.javier.io/rep/books/...
"The computer system described in the book is for real—it can actually be built, and it works! A reader
who takes the time and effort to gradually build this computer will gain a level of intimate understanding
unmatched by mere reading. Hence, the book is geared toward active readers who are willing to roll up
their sleeves and build a computer fromthe ground up."2 -
The shit happens when the development is over and you have to face the team to ask them to create the README.md files to explain the repository.
Tears roll down when the code works well but they have to justify that.2 -
I left for a week and someone deployed my code to production after being completely tested by qa on a Friday night. I get into the office after being gone for a week and am told that production has been down for many customers for several days. In a panic I start troubleshooting my code with the "What the fuck did I do wrong" face.
Development and qa were in a frenzy to figure out what happened, several developers were trying to figure out what went wrong by tracing through the source code for days, fucking days!
In that while time Noone thought to roll back the code. So, I was in a bind and thought "might as well get a box". Before that I looked at the deployment instructions: only the dll's were pushed, no db or resource file changes were pushed. In 20 minutes after I got back: no more problems for any customers and everything is working fine.
SMDH.
At least I found this picture of turtles wearing raspberries.
-
After 5 frustrating days, I have my laptop running again. Just in time for a data structures and algorithms exam.
TL;DR: driver issues aren't fun.
It all started on Friday, after the creators update. I was doing notes on lectures, and Windows crashed. I thought not much of it, it was just a "random" crash. I'd gotten a similar crash before, but I didn't think anything of it. This time was different, again it was my touchpad drivers that caused the issue, but this time a restart didn't work. I couldn't boot into Windows. I had to roll back to the last recovery point, effectively undoing the update.
This was fine, and fixed the issue, until Windows automatically updated my touchpad again, after me previously changing the driver. Another restart later and I couldn't boot. Time to roll back to recovery, right? Wrong. My drive had somehow, corrupt most of the Windows files.
And so, starts the journey of dismantling my laptop, changing the hard drive and putting it back together, a process that took 3 days due to not having the correct tools originally, and a late delivery.
(I could have rolled back to my backup system image, but that was before the creators update, and would have essentially postponed the issues I was having)
Finally, I managed to get Windows loaded from boot media (thankfully, they seem to tie your Windows licence to your account now) and am currently in the process of regaining all my lost files (which I have to pull from a system image, so it's a lot of digging through compressed files).
On a positive note, things are running well, and the faster hard drive (7200rpm vs 5400rpm) is a nice upgrade. And the touchpad drivers (the same one that kept crashing) haven't caused any problems since.
Now at least, I can get back to programming :D1 -
Got a new win 10 laptop and installed creators update on it. It's running well so far, but a few friends told me that Creators update causes crashes and hugs and that I should roll back.
Anyone here with creators update experiences?
I have a laptop with win 10 home 1703, 8GB ram and Nvidia GPU, if any of that matters.13 -
Sharing my colleague's recent experience..
He was working in development of version 1.0 for an application last month, and it was scheduled to be released but when I asked him today how did the roll out went, he said "I am assigned to directly release the v2.0 of this application." -
Should you not know or not have realised it years after your study: "video" literally means "I see" and "Volvo" (the Swedish car brand) means "I roll" in Latin.3
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I'm surprised how well Dell laptops are made. I'm using 2011 Dell Latitude E6320 and it really works like more modern models. Of course it would be lovely if I had new XPS 15, but it's really not bad for this budget. It just needs SSD drive and it's ready to roll.8
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# continuation of https://devrant.io/rants/2195230
I replied, that I need the pictures as seperate jpg/png files and that he should upload it somewhere for me to access them.
and well, he did - i was suprised ... BUT
he srsly just did screenshots of these pictures from whithin the pdf file - ON HIS PHONE.
u have ever seen an apple phone these days? those with the missing home button? yeah, you have a digital on screen overlay home button now. and guess - it is in every picture.
I dont care any more. it goes online as is....
tiny, pixelated pictures with beautifull shiny white on-screen home button on them. this is how we roll these days!2 -
Apple, please roll out the latest Safari to older iOS versions at last! Don't let it stay the new Internet Explorer making us web developers mad about obscure issues that customers face having to use outdated browsers, overshadowing any joy about your latest achievements.2
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*when forced work from home started*
Boss: look guys, since we aren't gonna be in the office we need to prioritize communication and fully utilize Slack, email, and company phones.
*today at 4pm when release is supposed to happen*
Boss: *crickets*
*1 hour later*
Boss: *crickets*
Me: what's going on with the release?
Coworker: QA found something late breaking we're trying to roll it back.
*1 hour later*
Work: *crickets*
*Release is 3 hours late and it's an hour after quitting time*
Work: *crickets* -
I will literally pull out you soul, grill it, and then put it back into you just to kill you, roll you up in nice mustard, pickles, bacon, pepper and salt and then roll you over with beef so I can properly make a roast and then, when you're ded, I will take your soul again to just torture it for all eternity.
....didn't have my coffee yet, guten morgen
12 -
I am on a conference call and I have this system admin saying it is hard to create a Windows virtual server. And so it starts... *eye roll* 😒😒😒
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Start at the scheduled time. Don't, "give everybody a little time to join." You're just enabling shit behavior.
Never, ever ask, "who just joined?" when the join tone sounds on the call. If you need someone on the call, invite them, and address them directly by name. If you need to take roll, then call out names, one at a time. But don't do that either. Just do your meeting.
A meeting has a direct cost of the lost time of everyone on the call. Artificial delays for small talk or petty admin are a total waste of time and money. Keep it simple, on task, and as fast as possible.3 -
Joined a new project. The codebase is… Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, is there ANY decent project in vue which has an hint of readibility in this damn world?
Every single time anyone talks about vue I roll my eyes “no I swear we managed it well!” 600 lines of code components. Is there even a good way to structure it for big apps?9 -
Be interested. Try to do whatever you're doing the best way possible. Do research, keep up, roll with the punches, and don't take things personally. If you like being a dev, it should be easy to find the fun in it.
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Having a middleman to either communicate a design or decision to a chinese client can sometimes really be the one thing you'd wish you've always had.
I've worked with tons of companies and clients from china and they are often very certain about things like bright orange/green on white/flashy background with black/white/red font, that sometimes you really just roll with it, but having said middleman really helps to communicate why e.g green and red on top of each other - aren't the best choice for a company that maybe wants to reach non grayscale visioned people too. -
Okay, THAT was trippy.
Soo.. I slowly srart feeling uncomfortable. It's that feeling when you want to move your body to make it go away. Stretch an arm, move a leg or smth... Alright, no biggie - let's move something. But then my focus is overwhelmed by darkness. Hmm... I must be asleep. There's some soothing humming noise in the background. And that feeling's still there. Aaaahh, the numbness is now going away - I must've moved smth! Good job! Drowning back into sleep now. It's ssooo ssweet...
*outage*
*notions of awareness*
huh? What's that? Oh, right, I need to move again. That humming sound is so relaxing.. I'll move smth to change that status quo. There, much better now. Let's keep the eyes closed and drift back to sleep. It's so dark though...
*outage*
*notions of awareness*
ahh, that feeling again. Come on, I've moved like 4 times already. Well alright, alright, it's better to move that open my eyes or roll over.
Wait...
I can't roll over.
I can't even move my hands. Fuck, must be that sleep paralysis kicking in again. No biggie, it'll wear off if I stay aware long enoug........
*outage*
*...?...*
...nough. What? Did I nod off? That's weird. Meeh, nvm. Why is it so dark though... Okay, let's try to open the eyes. *attempts going on for ~a minute*. No luck. That humming sound, so soothing...
I feel some clothing on my - must be the blanket. So warm.. Nice.I'm feeling - prolly the paralysis is wearing off! Good. A few more minutes and I'll be free to roll over
let's try the eyes once again. Hhhrhrhhh! Nope, not working. Wait, what's that? I turned my body! But somehow...Weirdly. Too easy. There, I did it again! Why is it so easy and I am still feeling paralysed...? Wtf is going on...?
That humming. What IS it..?
Wait! My eyes opened! It's pitch dark in here. Why...? Usually there's at least *some* light in the room. Am I still asleep? Naah, that's not it.. I'm turning my body again. Why did I do that? Wtf is happening?
That humming sound is getting louder and louder, taking all of my attention now.
What is it I'm feeling with my feet? It's hard. And cold.
Wait... AM I STANDING??? What the fuck?!?
Why am i standing??? And that sound - that's... That's... A vent fan in my bathroom!!! Am I standing asleep in my bathroom...? In the middle of the night...? Facing the mirror...? With the lights off....?
WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN?!?!?
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET THERE?!?!?
How long have I been here...?
I HAVE QUESTIONS!!
Fuck it, I'm tired. Time to go to bed. It'll be one mindfuck of a storry tomorrow though...5 -
I was asked to integrate a piece of industrial software which was pre-alpha in a prod to align with corporate objectives. It would have caused all kinds of production problems and instability. Nobody would even notice that it wasn’t there. I procrastinated for eight months until version 1 was released.
I told my manager it was done. Then he informed me that it had been working the whole time and he got plenty of positive feedback so i should roll back to the old version until we can do a planned upgrade. I nodded in agreement and put off the downgrade. -
Getting into things that seem close to impossible.
Then I learn about new things to get the impossible possible. 😎🤓
Ya that's how I roll. -
If I wanted to become a hacker here is what I would do to cover my steps: 1.) Buying a used Laptop with cash, and picking it up in person.
2.) Using random coffee shops to work by dice roll. Obviously at least a d20 and at least 20 coffee shops.
3.) Installing Linux, probably Manjaro. (Not Kali because I've heard that is watched)
What are your thoughts?28 -
pandas can suck my balls.
N
I
H
I'd rather roll my own.
edit: but also xgboost can suck my balls.
Treating every OBVIOUSLY continuous-valued entry as a 'category'.
All searches for this problem turn up tutorials and documentation on how to CONVERT continuous and numeric values into classes or categories.
Not a single fucking document addresses the problem of when pandas or xgboost refuses to treat numeric inputs as numerics and insists on pushing an error that your data is categorical when every fucking inspection shows the type as numeric.9 -
has anyone written the first flagship software of a company and what happened to the software afterwards?
did you make good architecture decisions or did you just jank and roll with it? how did the software evolve over time? how was onboarding new devs to work on the software? what sorts of issues were there? did the company make it? what were external factors that made making it difficult?3 -
Any FL Studio 12 users here?
I am struggling to make the super simple Piano Roll to work.
If you want to help me about 5 mins, please leave a comment.
Thanks!11 -
For current project, client provided us with ui design and postman collections and expects us to build application based on that. I'm currently onsite, working from client's offices, trying to communicate what each api does and what they expect. And they're fucking avoiding me. Roll eyes if meeting lasts more than a fuckin hour. Laugh when we point out inconsistencies in tgeir design.
The fug? You're paying us to do the job. We don't fucking care, it won't be finished till you provide enough information.2 -
Skinned my mother alive. She didn’t feel a thing. Threw away everything except the skin itself, but left the head intact. She’s alive and well, albeit can’t move. I roll her up, pack her in my bag and bring her to school with me.
She wasn’t quite against it, but wasn’t happy either. Just kept talking to me condescendingly, as usual.
Meanwhile, my grandpa recreated his room in Excel and moved there.6 -
Took the dive and started learning kubernetes for the last 90 minutes or so. All I can say at this time... is... fuckin' hell m8!
It's some pretty damn cool tech and deconstructing the pieces to understand how to properly build on top of it has been interesting; to say the least.
but shit, man...
the amount of abstractions happening on top of docker/containerd are just asking for tons of problems hahaha. The last place I worked, we had a fair share of devs that either could not or would not bother with trying to understand docker and would constantly push code to the environments, shit would break, and then they'd come to my team and ask us to basically be human log parsers for them... how in the hell my last company is going to fare with trying to roll out kube is beyond me.
tl;dr - kubernetes has a buttload of moving targets and abstracts a metric-fuck-ton of stuff. Last company I worked for is gonna strugglepuff trying to use it. -
JP University Bihar publishes it's result online as a PDF document which contains result of 1000+ students.
Also the PDF documents are generally scanned copy of printed document.
What's the point of uploading result online when I can't even use ctrl+f to find a particular roll number.
Better stick to the wall, it will be more convenient.1 -
When you add a feature to your app, test quickly and see the new feature works, so publish to play store, only to discover you have broken core functionality 😭.
This just happened to me, I discovered it not log after the update and had to rush to fix it after discovering the play store has no "roll-back" feature ☹️.3 -
Always have a roll forward plan, backups, and a site B. Especially if you think it is a non critical system.
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lol started using unity a couple of days ago and with the tutorials and everything it was all going merry and well. I followed the roll a ball tutorial word by word and letter by letter. the game worked perfectly, well....
at least in unity.
Thing is, I build the game and boom.
I have a working game with no collision detection(basically not working). didn't touch unity for 4 days now. Fuck I hate when this happens.3 -
Can't decide whether I like React or not. Hated it in the beginning, then sort of started liking it and even thinking it was great just to fall back to the dislike stage again where I roll my eyes and think it's a messy, crowded pile of shit that breaks with all sorts of good software principles. This has fluctuated up and down for over 3 years.
It's the only language/technology/framework I have had this experience with. Weird.8 -
Tutorial for naming a city:
1. Open your text editor
2. Hit your keyboard with your head
3. Roll around with your head on your keyboard
4. ???
5. Congratulations, you just named a city
https://youtu.be/fHxO0UdpoxM2 -
Coworker: "Hey, so I discovered this library that automatically brings up and tears down local containers to perform unit tests on data sources"
Me: "Sounds neat"
Coworker: "Yeah, I've been messing with it locally, and it means we don't need to have the data sources installed on our machines or rely on the ones in the testing environment."
Me: "That's good"
Coworker: "Just a shame I had to roll back our testing framework to a previous version and refactor the code in all our other tests as a result."
Me: "Wait what? *looks at documentation* It says they support the newer framework"
Coworker: "Yeah, but I couldn't get it to work. So I'm just gonna make a PR for it, okay?" *Proceeds to make a PR, approve and merge the code before I can comment further on the changes*
Welp, there goes all my motivation to get anything done for the rest of the day.3 -
When you are working with a rather large website project and customer is calling many times a day, every day, just to ask are we there yet.
3 -
Lean into the skid and go do something else. If i have a deadline buy a pint of crown, roll a blunt, and get back to work
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Desperately waiting to get a new Mac air so I can stop using this ancient windows PC. "Microsoft Windows - This application stopped working. Do you want to close it?" honestly *eye roll*^∞
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Each time I see THAT, there is 50% chance that server will not reboot :(
Fucking linux....
Why, just why we don't have roll backs and all nice things we have in windows ?
7 -
not really that hacky but it was something back then
when I was still learning front end development. I enabled live server on my vs code, connected to a network went to a different PC and connected to same network, went to browser on second PC, entered the other PCs IP adress and added the port number provided by vs code, I was able to access the website I was working on so as I worked and saved the site automatically refreshes on the other computer and i saw the results immediately
this was because I had an 11 inch screen PC. a hp mini. was practically impossible to work with that so whenever my roommates PC was free I'd do that without having to code directly on his PC
later on I enabled auto save on vs code and it seemed I was on a roll. lol -
How to find a skate park:
1. Go drive through neighborhoods.
2. Roll down your window.
3. When you hear: "fuck this, fuck that, that's so sick!" you have arrived at your destination.3 -
PM: Could you make a deployment platform to only roll out to specific users, and make a script that changes the code so that you can tailor tasks to each user.
Me: Excuse me? ... -
When you roll out a new system is disaster recovery testing on your roadmap? For example, do you do failover and have users work through a comprehensive test script and have them sign off before going into production?1
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Finally! I can't believe the suffering has finally ended. I managed to fuck over our shiddy build system to produce normal debugging information that can be stepped in gdb. Everything goes so smoothly for me ever since.. jeez feels so good :) When I come home today Ill just lay down on a bed and roll from side to side out of happiness.
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>making bruteforce MD5 collision engine in Python 2 (requires MD5 and size of original data, partial-file bruteforce coming soon)
>actually going well, in the ballpark of 8500 urandom-filled tries/sec for 10 bytes (because urandom may find it faster than a zero-to-FF fill due to in-practice files not having many 00 bytes)
>never resolves
>SOMEHOW manages to cut off the first 2 chars of all generated MD5 hashes
>fuck, fixed
>implemented tries/sec counter at either successful collision or KeyboardInterrupt
>implemented "wasted roll" (duplicate urandom rolls) counter at either collision success or KeyboardInterrupt
>...wait
>wasted roll counter is always at either 0% or 99%
>spend 2 hours fucking up a simple percentage calculation
>finally fixed
>implement pre-bruteforce calculation of maximum try count assuming 5% wasted rolls (after a couple hours of work for one equation because factorials)
>takes longer than the bruteforce itself for 10 bytes
this has been a rollercoaster but damn it's looking decent so far. Next is trying to further speed things up using Cython! (owait no, MicroPeni$ paywalled me from Visual Studio fucking 2010)4 -
!rant
I need opinions: Amazon Fire Stick or Google Chromecast?
I want Hulu, Netflix, Crunchy Roll, Amazon Prime TV, and WWE Network.
I welcome all opinions. Remote strength, price, ease of use, and stability are my main concerns.
I also might jail break it and/or try to develop apps for it.
Sorry if a repost but this is a random thought from an alcohol addled mind.
I would use a laptop on every tv, but cost vs benefit says no.3 -
Got my QBASIC demopart ready for testing, completely optimized and ready to roll. Found 486 owner (33MHz, 8MB of RAM) who tested it for me.
Takes 13 seconds for the scroller to draw each frame at 300x200.
No possible optimizations are present, everything's crushed as far as it'll go, meaning a completely different method of scrolling is needed.
(Still faster than the array method by 37 seconds per frame, but y'know...)
fuck me... -
So the app is live and there is an issue on one of the clients environment. Manager wants to roll back new version 🤷♂️ instead of fixing the actual issue on the environment.
Fuck that, its friday 😂1 -
Either I am too sensitive with my name or I just can't stop laughing when someone keep misspelled my English name, "Michael" into "Micheal".
I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but... *eye-roll*
Anyway, I am still wondering that what wording or how does it take for them to accidentally typed from 'ae' into 'ea'..?
Super curious here.3 -
We have a nerf gun in the office here and i'm at the point that whenever i here a click, there is a *duck, hide and roll* part of me triggered. I just saw a guy opening a soda can when i noticed this1
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Crypto. I've seen some horrible RC4 thrown around and heard of 3DES also being used, but luckily didn't lay my eyes upon it.
Now to my current crypto adventure.
Rule no.1: Never roll your own crypto.
They said.
So let's encrypt a file for upload. OK, there doesn't seem to be a clear standard, but ya'know combine asymmetric cipher to crypt the key with a symmetric. Should be easy. Take RSA and whatnot from some libraries. But let's obfuscate it a bit so nobody can reuse it. - Until today I thought the crypto was alright, but then there was something off. On two layers there were added hashes, timestamps or length fields, which enlarges the data to encrypt. Now it doesn't add up any more: Through padding and hash verification RSA from OpenSSL throws an error, because the data is too long (about 240 bytes possible, but 264 pumped in). Probably the lib used just didn't notify, silently truncating stuff or resorting to other means. Still investigation needed. - but apart from that: why the fuck add own hash verification, with weak non-cryptographic hashes(!) if the chosen RSA variant already has that with SHA-256. Why this sick generation of key material with some md5 artistic stunts - is there no cryptographically safe random source on Windows? Why directly pump some structs (with no padding and magic numbers) into the file? Just so it's a bit more fucked up?
Thanks, that worked.3 -
It was for a school project, I was in the bad books of the teachers and some seriously horrible shit was going on with me, so the teacher set up a special 24-hr deadline only for me, rest other students were given a 30 days deadline. The assignment was a java front end paired with a mysql backend application for keeping a record of a students details like name, phone, roll no, and some other details manageable and changeable through the java frontend only. I was seriously panicked and worked the whole night with my friend.2
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What do you hate most about your current CI/CD setup at work?
Mine is that staging and production are released independently. If staging fails, it can still roll out to master. This scares me.9 -
Today's winner of the characters that made me waste hours debugging for too... Dumb roll please...
/
For being forgotten to be added to the webpack config so that my docker builds the prod image correctly...3 -
Maybe someone here can help me out. I get annoyed when I need to use the mouse; I lose concentration whenever I have to find it on my desk (small glance from the screen to find it). I work with a Mac and need a mouse to test everything I make works. Is there some tiny presentation roll mouse I can hold whilst I type, or a clit mouse I can add to the keyboard out there?6
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It's high time people start understanding the difference between 0 (zero) and NULL.
Zero: You visiting the toilet and notice the exhausted toilet paper roll.
NULL: You visiting the toilet and notice that there's no toilet paper roll.
Get the difference?1 -
My company was about to spend $15,000 per month to have a mobile presence engineered and maintained from a third party. The contract was for three years, so naturally, we wanted an exit clause. When they refused, we dropped the pen and decided to roll our own mobile. Those folks are morons...I don't make $15K for month...hell, I'll do it and give you an exit clause! It's amazing how much money corporations have to throw around.
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....that moment, late at night, when you've just closed that remote terminal to your network media server, tweaking that custom tree listing script, and then you put your phone down and roll over.
:|2 -
Holy shit trying to learn flex-box and only when I turn on reverse-row does everything fall out of its containing boxes. Then I find out that because I'm not hardcore enough to roll my own CSS scaffolding and therefore using material design lite that it is also trying to use flex box plus a few floats here and there......
... First real need to rant, glad I had this outlet3 -
I get to make things others havent yet.
well, one day.
and it's the best excuse I've found so far for binging technical subjects and papers.
also because when talking with people about say, compilers and how they're made, or machine code, or a dozen other topics, people dont roll their eyes like I'm speaking a foreign language.
also the occasional math shitpost makes it worth it. -
Does anyone else enjoy working remote but also have complaints about it? My biggest complaint is not being on a schedule and getting out enough.
More often than not I find myself not tired at the end of the day, so falling asleep is hard. I guess the commute drains you a lot more than I assumed. My previous 1hr+ commute both ways has turned into a roll out of bed and begin working commute.
I keep wanting to go work from a coffee shop or something, but just haven't. I've also considered travelling somewhere and working from s different city for a few days but haven't tried that either.1 -
i like tailwind for my personal project because i hate choosing color palette. i can just roll with bg-green-400, text-neutral-900 etc1
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Really annoyed over BlueBorne and the phone companies needing months to roll out a patch.
I need my music while traveling and my last pair of wired headphones broke two days ago /o\ -
I just realized I can easily sanitize the data by using + as “ and I haven’t even had coffee yet. I might be on a roll today.
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In today's episode of "Am I paranoid already?" - Caching Bind resolver forwarding queries to a DoH client connecting to Cloudflare
A fun little thing to configure, and now, anytime I am on my VPN, all my DNS traffic should be completely untrackable.
Does that make me paranoid? Maybe a little... But, the knowledge that noone - not even my ISP, can see what I am doing on the internet, is kinda... Heartarming.
Now, all that's left, is for eSNI to roll out and get implemented by all major web browsers, and most snooping will be completely done for...4 -
I haven't had anything dev related to rant about in a few weeks due to the fact that I haven't done any developing in a few weeks. I have a lot of personal shit going on that I'm slowly getting past. Basically some shit went down, the girl I posted about a few times, we're just friends at this point. My best friend won't talk to me and hasn't in about 2 weeks now. Fun.
Then there's the fact that I have school Monday through Friday, and work Thursday through Sunday, so I get zero days off. So I just..don't have the time to do developing right now. But, here's a kinda funny story (not that funny)
So this Sunday, I was leaving work. I decided to roll my car's window down to say bye to a few people as I was pulling out of the parking lot. It was cold so I went to roll my window back up....and it's fucking stuck. I'm sitting in about 15°F (-9.5°C) with no driver's side window. Turned out the fucking motor that moves the window had died. And I had no money to get it replaced. So I did the logical thing, I called my mom to try and figure out what I should do. She was asleep but my dad picked up. He called me a dumbass and said he'd pay to get it fixed, since it was his car before and he never told me that the window was faulty.
Actually got it fixed just yesterday by my cousin. Then I went to get my paycheck (a whole $200!) since my work has my name spelled wrong in their system so I currently can't do direct deposit (gonna talk to the general manager about that tomorrow). And now I'm just sitting in bed, waiting for my check to go through. (As I was typing that last sentence, someone from my bank called actually). I would really appreciate that $200 right now, cause I have about $2 after paying for car insurance and gas and stuff. I actually need to fill up my gas soon too..2 -
Power BI: wonderful tool, pretty graphics, and can do a lot of powerful stuff.
But it’s also quite frustrating when you want to do advanced things, as it’s such a closed platform.
* No way to run powerquery scripts in a command line
* Unit testing is a major pain, and doesn’t really test all the data munging capabilities
* The various layers (offline/online, visualisation, DAX, Powerquery, Dataset, Dataflow) are a bit too seamless: locating where an issue is happening when debugging can be pain, especially as filtering works differently in Query Editing mode than Query Visualisation mode.
And my number 1 pet peeve:
* No version control
It’s seriously disconcerting to go back to a no version control system, especially as you need to modify “live code” sometimes in order to debug a visual.
At best, I’ve been looking into extracting the code from the file, and then checking that into git, but it’s still a one-way street that means a lot of copying and pasting back into the program in order to roll back, and makes forking quite difficult.
It’s rewarding to work with the system, but these frustrations can really get to me sometimes2 -
I hate it when I fuck up an update and don't realize it until the next morning.
Did an update last night. Had a large amount of bugs that I had to fix. Some caused by me not testing all the way, some caused by some other guys doing maintenance last night and me not knowing about it.
Woke up to a text from my boss asking if I even tested the program last night. Yeah, I just made sure it loaded after the nightmare amount of bugs I had. I just missed a portion of the program. So I fixed the portion of the program and then he asked me to roll the program back and try again tonight.
What makes this even better is I was really hoping for this to go smoothly. I'm also doing another program release and its going really fucking badly too, security is fucking the shit out of me. My peer review is Monday. I haven't gotten a raise in a year and a half since I started at this company and I was going to ask for one. But this kind of dashes my confidence on the rocks.4 -
For couple of days I have noticed that when i roll over my left eye. It causes a little pain. nothing else. just when i rollover and try to look up. I think may be because I am starring at the monitor way too much. Have anyone ever experienced anything similar?4
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Thank you crappy Starbucks app requiring me to refill my Starbucks card in order to pay via the app.
I was first going to rant but this "feature" saved from buying food that actually looks like crap in the store...
Long version: I got an email about the birthday reward (free any side (Large) drink) a few days ago so redeemed it this morning via the app. I sorta felt bad so added a dessert roll so that I would pay something.
Well at the checkout it said need to pay by Store Card.... Under that, it listed my credit card and refill amount. Well WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I JUST USED MY CARD. I am not a regular customer but hey it's $6 for the drink. Anyway so I removed and now it keys me check out without a refill.
Then dragged my ass out of bed because somehow I accidentally ordered... walked to the store. Wanted to order but then saw the actual food and was like "ok let's just get my coffee..."
Picks it up at the pickup spot and quietly walks out looking at all the people in the store wondering why they like this stuff.
The coffee was just like McDonald's to me...4 -
Ignorance, pure ignorance.
Being selfish and just do what has to be done and let request from other people just roll off that curtain of ignorance. -
There is a comic book app, let's call it 'the fucking awful crunchy roll manga app'.
Over two years, and four devices, 80% of the time it loads pages out of order, or the same three pages over and over, Making books unreadable. Reseting the app or device does not fix it. It's just random when it works.
Point being. Its a god damb gallery app! That's programing 101 shit. How dose a company this big, That does two things, stream video and display images in order, completely fuck up half of their entire market for years with no one fixing it?
I could program this thing in a week end. That's not a brag. This is almost literally a 'apps for dummies' throw away project .
Why? Just WHY?2 -
Depends on which desk we're talking about...
Office desk: an empty can, a tophat well as a demo and some Russian paracetamol I found from a pocket of my winter coat.
Home Office #1 desk: the keyboard for another computer, a plant, a bunch of magazines and newspapers belonging to someone else, a roll of kitchen paper, someone else's meds, a cup of cookies, another cup of small tomatoes, a Swiss army knife, a bike computer and a tablet.
Home Office #2 desk: wife's laptop, a bunch of chargers for a myriad of devices, a Kindle, some envelopes full of stickers, others with bills, a lot of random crap, and usually when I'm at the desk, one or two purring felines -
Been using a *nix since about 2004, but becoming very weary of the OS wars. Man it's all the same shit: if you got to dig through the mud of undocumented Exchange API whose support will then be dropped or if you have to support eight different Samba VFS versions with all their gratuitous name changes.
It's all a fucking mess! But someone's got to roll up one's sleeves and get that shit to work.
And then there will always be the next guy cursing your name, because you got it to work and now he has to add some feature to this abomination. -
Google play console is so fucking confusing, I'm trying to get my app to open beta testing stage, I've completed all the steps and done the full roll out, but the status of the app is still pending publication (3 days), wtf does "Pending publication" means do I need to publish the app for production in order for beta testing release to work, or I have to wait for google to approve the beta release for publish?
I'm lost5 -
Fuck windows server. Fuck infosec. Every time they roll out windows updates shit breaks. From windows service get stuck in "stopping" state to dropping network interface. Why the fuck are we still using this to host a simple API or NSERVICEBUS service?? Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Fml.
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I’ve always wrote my own class to sql methods, but I used the Table Adapter in C# and I don’t think I will go back.2
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To the ones using GitLab CI/CD:
Is there a way to trigger a pipeline run on a specific commit? Like in a situation where you're deploying every commit to master into prod, and you need to roll back, but without reverting the commit history.14 -
If I get stuck, I go for a walk, grab a pack of weed, and roll myself a small and slim joint.
Then I smoke it while eating some munchies.
Then I take a second look at the problem.
If I'm still stuck, I roll a big and fat joint and repeat.1 -
If a supervisor conducts an informational conference call that’s on a set schedule, mainly consisting of members from their management team, they should avoid conducting the kindergarten style roll call start off. Especially, if the call consists of 20 or more people.
10+ minute roll calls are horrible to have to sit through, not to mention borderline degrading if the team members involved are management or supervisors. -
Working at a large insurance company part of a larger organization and and said organization wanted all of the plans to call into a conference call meeting....
Started off, the meeting organizers phone cut out halfway through to roll call...
We all call back in, and start the roll call again...from the beginning...
Half the meeting was just a roll call >< -
I want to make a project
student analysis system
It works as
Student will signin in the site and upload their academic detail including roll no. marks of all the semesters, and other academic details then It will give them analysis of their academic performance like what is his rank in his class, in the department, and in the whole College. It will also show that in which subject he was week, in which subjects in upcoming semester he have to work to secure good percentage and a graph of his performance till now and change in graph if he follow according to us. It will also show the placement probability.
Now my question is which tech stacks should I use to make all this?
I know HTML CSS JS JAVA CPP and a bit of REACT. Js EXPRESS. JS MYSQL.
I am ready to work with other tech stack also.8 -
Working on an automated deployment process as an aged programmer is tough! So I go outside feed the pigs, have a chat with them.
Back in, advice on board and I roll - solution solved! -
So at my last job we had an AM deployment and a PM deployment. We had code reviews, QA, a slow roll process (deployed to three servers), monitoring process, and once everything checked out we fast rolled to the other servers.
At my current job we have a QA process, and we deploy once every three weeks.
My first job I deployed as needed, with no QA at all (I was the only web dev there).
I'm currently at a major e-commerce site, my last job was more of a click-bait site (though it still made millions in revenue each year).
So my question is: is there a "normal" as far as deployment schedules? I realize that each business type is going to have their own needs, but what's the "average" time between deployments? -
I really am uncertain wtf they expected of people as a ticket to a time where everything continues and our lives are on track because other than getting laid alot there was an obvious hiatus from living an affluent lifestyle excepting where I stayed and who I had sex with heh
Seems like they always invent excuses to roll everything back -
You want to get employed but, you can't find a job or get hired because you don't have a degree and degree is a requirement to get employed.
So, you decide to go back to College and study Compsc but, you aren't allowed because of the messed up education system in your country.
So, you decide to study abroad but, you realize you are broke.
So, you become a freelancer but, unfortunately you find your self thinking hell is way better than this lol
So, this time you decide to quite and just return to your boring legal job.
But, then you can't stop thinking about coding and you just can't stop the excitement and the frustration you feel every time you hear people talk about code.
So, hope fully for the last time you decide to do Android dev and publish your own Apps and become an Entrepreneur even though you know it is hard and you might fail many times before you achieve success. You just went for it.
It what it is, just roll with. What other option do you have?! Lol1 -
So I have a MEAN app that is super simple just basic CRUD operations.
Everything works fine. Decide to extend it by bringing values over into fields on an Edit page. More work than I thought it would be but got it working, just passed values through an array in the URL. Pretty simple. So then I click save and it's broken. _id is apparently now undefined. Oh I posted it on the Javascript chat on SO and got nothing, instead everyone is talking about porn folders, a tweet, a random picture that looks like either a woman doing oral to a guy or a guy reading a book, and now Obamacare. FFS just answer my damn question >.< So I post it on SO itself and still crickets there. Worst part is I know its something simple I just don't know what it is because I'm still new to programming in general only been a few months in a bootcamp just learning the basics of MEAN stack (which I do like a lot tbh)
Man SO is so frustrating. -
The job is supposed to be about tinkering with and determining what tech to pull together and how to make it work best to solve novel problems. Not to roll back the code and get fast doing the same fucking project
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