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Here's a funny joke
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer.7 -
Interested? Really? Then how come you called me?
My resumes clearly says my number is for texting only. It also has my LinkedIn address next to it. And the summary on it clearly says that I am deaf and you should email me!
14 -
Before my forensic teacher allows us to leave, he always says, "git."
I think he's from the south which is why he says that, but I always have the urge to finish it off by saying, "hub."18 -
Four engineers get in a car. The car won't start.
The mechanical engineer says:
It's a broken starter.
The electrician's engineer says:
The battery is dead.
The chemical engineer says:
There are impurities in the gas.
The software engineer says:
Guys, try getting out of the the car then back in!1 -
Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated."2 -
These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated." -
I'm not from EU or anything but you guys from the EU should thank the government for increasing the prices of your phones 👌.
11 -
Eh ehe hehe he eh ehehe
On top of burnout, codebase issues, spec issues, burnout, the product butt that keeps on crapping, burnout, burnout, loathing for my employer... My local Apple SSL cert expired. I can’t finish this and push it anywhere for testing. I can’t even run my own specs anymore. And I don’t have permissions to make a new one. I can’t do anything at all.
Ehe he hehe
Deadline is in two days, and I’m just sitting here laughing quietly to myself. I might finally be going crazy
I found a loose bit of tangle, started to pull, and the world decided it was time to fall apart. Reality said it’s time to go. And I wasn’t even a good screwdriver dev. Byeee ~12 -
When a normal person says "IMHO", it means "In my humble opinion"
When a programmer says "IMHO", its means "You are wrong".6 -
Boss says that I'm getting a third project I should work on from now on.
Also says that that the deadline is at march 21th.
Then says that the other project whose deadline is at may 1st has priority over all others.
10 -
I have bank accounts with 5 different banks.
I HAVE TO use 4-5 different government websites.
Every fucking place: you cannot use these "~-/;^"(some others too) symbols in your password.
Are you freaking fucking kidding me!! And all of them have a limit of 12or15 characters.
If this wasn't mind numbingly stupid enough, they fucking go ahead and force you to change password every fucking month or two.
THIS IS NOT SECURITY. YOU SHOULDN'T FORCE SOMEONE TO LIMIT THERE PASSWORDS TO:
- CERTAIN CHARACTERS
- A 15 CHARACTER SIZE LIMIT
- THRN OVERTHAT, FORCE TO CHANGE PASSWPRDS PERIODICALLY.
ALL THE 5 MAJOR FUCKING BANKS IN INDIA.
FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK YOUU 🖕11 -
have deleted the last rant as it was depressing and stuff and i don't want to depress you lovely people 🤗.
Sorry to all those who read it 😅.25 -
It's f-ing 2018.
We are generating electricity out of thin air.
We are generating it through light.
We are generating it through flowing water.
We can generate it when humans freaking move.
We can freaking feel the virtual stuff(latest SmarterEveryday upload).
But we still have freaking powercuts 😤😖😠😭.
P.S. : I Love you, you beautiful devrant people😊. My headache disappeared after reading a few rants😁.7 -
Age isn't a number.
It's a variable that stores a number.
(Usually)
Yes. I am growing older and sillier 😂. But you don't know me 😅.12 -
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer.2
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The internet says "containers are the holy grail, it's cross-platform and you can run your images and get the same result everywhere"
The practice says: nope... it doesn't do that8 -
So a friend says @trogus has a similar with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, what do you think?
Credits: Hexical Labs WebSite
13 -
Trump and Biden flying small Cessna. Biden says: I can throw out a $100 bill and make one person happy. Trump says: I can throw out ten bills and make ten people happy. Pilot says: I can throw out both of you and make 8 billion people happy!5
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Why is C++ the first language taught in schools when Ruby is a much simpler and fun language?
History says because the courses didn't get updated.
Conspiracy theory says it's to keep out people who can't deal with complexity.20 -
Companies think that Indians are so stupid that they are trying to sell their phone by depicting that the NOTCH is a Fucking FEATURE 😭😖😠😡.
24 -
For all you Googlefags, "Serious Chrome zero-day – Google says update right this minute":
https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/20...
16 -
Yes, 'cuz lightning is a better innovation over type-c. No wait, it is so not. Apple did move to type-c on ipads and macs ditching their own magsafe and lightning.
Fuck Apple's innonovation.
😒😤😤😤 .
28 -
-Client: I have a problem.My pc says I need a snake to run this program.
-IT guy: Please sir,tell exactly what it says.
-Client: You need Python to run this program.
-IT guy: *hits his head on the keyboard2 -
Just installed Vim a minute ago. I already want these key bindings for the entire OS 😅. I think I'm gonna love this one 🤗7
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BIGGEST FUCKING MALWARE ON WIN 10 IS THE FUCKING ANTIMALWARE EXECUTABLE. ATLEAST OTHER MALWARES DON'T EAT UP ALL YOUR FUCKING RAM WITHOUT TELLING YA.5
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A programmer walks into a bar. He says "I'll have 0x01 root beers".
The bartender pours him a root beer.
Another programmer walks into a bar. He says "I'll have 1.0f root beers".
The bartender pours the second programmer a root beer float. -
so i signed in into a new win 11 install a few weeks back. hadn't noticed until now, windows has been backing up all my new PC's files to one drive. all the junk and temp files too 😭. Completely messed up my organisation on onedrive 😭. Fuck whoever thought it would be good idea to backup documents folder into documents folder fromevery fucking PC. not naming what PC or user it came from. I'm so fucked cleaning up this mess. Motherfucking assholes.
On the side note, anyone have any idea how can i find out which PC or user a file was uploaded by in the explorer itself. ☹️2 -
So, my crush told me how she lost her 800+ bookmarks related to her very crucial project (She isn't into computers). I told her she could recover them and I'll help her with the steps. She was so paranoid about losing the rest of the project if something were to go wrong while recovering.
Bookmarks got recovered. She's happy.( I just took the bookmarks.bak file from the chrome folder and converted it to an html doc.)
4 days later-
Her: dude, what the fuck did you do. The whole system has been reset. The whole project is gone. Fucking know-it-all. She thinks I'm responsible for the system restore.
- - - - - -
She's going to HATE me for life 😭. What did i ever do to you, you Microsoft Developers 😔. Why you do this.29 -
These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated." -
so the bank has decided to charge me for sending me the sms notification for the sms- notification-charges
makes sense 🤨 ?
7 -
Western Digital has a policy change and they know that this is all we understand from the policies 😂
2 -
I love good advertisement but I hate bad products with "good" ads!
It's so difficult to find a reliable and up-to-date source for what's a good and bad game engine at the time. Every engine says it's the best. Every browser says it's the fastest. Every anti-virus app says it's the safest. God damn, come of with creative way and don't say your product is the best! *tilted*4 -
Microsoft owns github
Microsoft owns windows
Microsoft owns powershell
Why then, why exactly, is it so fucking hard to get ssh private keys for github, up and running on windows powershell.
I tried to change permissions on files but then it broke the git-bash implementation 😭.
Fuck it !! 😭😭9 -
Who here wants gifs to show up in their terminal for failed and successful build processes 😂
https://twitter.com/i/status/...
4 -
Just learned my company says it owns everything I think or build, whether I am on the clock or not. It was in the handbook, not the paperwork I signed, but it says I agree to it if I keep working for them. It even says I cannot show interest in something without their approval. FUCK!13
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So, i short circuited a fuse on my laptop (accidentally) and...
MS windows is running much better now. 😐 What even.3 -
So let's get this right: How do you pronounce Linux.
Linnucks or Lineaxe
Was talking to someone today and his 'lineaxe' threw me a lot.21 -
These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."1 -
- Sometimes seeing all of you people have jobs as coders makes me depressed 😅.
- I couldn't even write a program (a few weeks ago) to insert an element into an array and shift the proceeding elements up one location 😩😢😓.
- Yes, that's how beginner I am 😳.
- Please, Don't kick me out of the community 😨.5 -
Pirated MS office was so much better than the paid one. I never once had a banner pop-up and tell me that i didn't have a license 😖
Now, that i do have the license, the banner has made it a habit to pop-up whenever i work on something important 🤦6 -
The moment someone says Representational State Transfer Application Programming Interface instead of RESTAPI.
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Almost anybody. Right there alongside babysitting. All you developers are losers since almost anybody can code and make money.
MoFo normal beings. Don't know what it takes to write good code.
Lots of coffee
Lots of pizza
Lots of knowledge
And ability to say no to every stranger or friend who has an app idea and is willing to pay in shares 😤😤
5 -
I accidentally deleted a folder containing contracts and files worth millions.
There's no backup. 😭😭😭. EaseUS didn't help with the entire recovery.
.
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J K. I put a recurring backup every week 😌. Hadn't made any changes in the past week. 😂.6 -
There is a commercially sold ERP solution that has it's DB schema in excel and Other documentations in MS Word. And its not even properly structured, no schema diagrams, last updated for a 4 year old major release 😒😫.
I have to develop a custom module for it and that requires building an ActivexDLL Project in VB fucking 6 😭😭 .
VB6
Unstructured Documentation
Legacy code
Incomplete documentation
FML
Tell me if you want ss in comments.5 -
X - New stickers, people!!! Yay!!
X - Ordered these from www.juststickers.in.
X - Nice quality paper.
X - About $3 per piece.
X - You should try.
> Thanks @sumeetchawla.
> Although, you guys don't read the emails sent to your Support@juststickers.in email address 😒.
> I would give you 3/5.
-1 for not replying to the email.
-1 for storing the password in plain text.
Stickers are worth the money though 😊👌👍
5 -
Hostinger
Hostgator
DigitalOcean for VPS ?
Something else ?
Please do suggest a host for shared hosting.
Moving from GoDaddy 🤦😅.
I know, shouldn't have tried in the first place.17 -
So, i use this bulk messaging service and they decided to make logins OTP only ("for security reasons", they say), sent to your email.
So instead of entering a password quickly,
- enter the password for your email account,
- click about 10 times on Resend OTP
- wait for OTP
- copy OTP and paste in the box.
So basically relying on the person's email provider's security than deploying their own. -
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”2
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any fucker who has written code for the indian ewaybill portal needs to be fucking assassinated. couldn't even get a simple aspx login page to work. motherfuckers.
They just display a message that if we are having troubles we should try clearing our cache.
Like for fucks sake build it properly. This is the main source of income for this fucking nation, probably.
- the password reset doesn't work.
- the userid reset doesn't work.
- sometimes i show up as not registered. i just fucking transacted yesterday you buffoons.
- there is an error alert, that says "error". i god fucking know there is an error. please fucking tell how may we please your ass to bypass those fucking errors 😭.
fuck every developer that works for that portal 😤. Good for nothings.
thanks for creating devrant, dfox and trogus. feels better now 😌.7 -
Every design change in windows 11:
- All that could have been achieved in win 10 with an update 🙂
Every new feature in windows 11:
- All that could have been achieved in win 10 with an update 🙂
Just another way to trash our older PCs. Planned obsolescence.
Google said, free forever photo storage, takes it back.
Microsoft said, last verison of windows 'll be the 10, takes it back.
😊 Everything's friking nice.16 -
Anyone looking to make an investment.
Even headlines should be tested before release 😓. This clickbait thing has made it's way into articles as well. It says just the opposite in the article.
3 -
When your boss says "no we don't need you present for the deployment on Saturday at 4:00 am." And your PM chimes in and says, yeah you can log in remotely." FML
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Facebook sends me e-mails suggesting me friends and groups. I'm not even on Facebook 😂.
When i tried to reset the password, Facebook does this...
9 -
*Dev is non-native english speaker
Dev: we need the VPN ip.
Me: the server ip or the connected device ip.
Dev: the server.
Me: gets the ip.
Dev: this doesn't work, is this the VPN ip ?
Me: Gives the device ip. Works.
Dev: OK. Works now.
Could have just asked for the client IP in the first place but s/he didn't know how to.
I have been trying to freelance for people who don't speak english as a first language and getting the Requirements is the hardest part of the job. 😫 .
P.S. Suggestions needed from remote freelancers. What's your workflow like.6 -
I never liked Facebook. I only use it to get posts from the pages on architecture. Yeah, i wanted to be an architect 😅. But after a week of getting into coding, i flipping fell in love with this too. After, i found devrant, i thank god that it exists. Facebook is for people ranting about what their relatives are liking or hating or what, people they don't know, are doing. That's not real. What you guys, the community so wonderful rants about everyday, is the real stuff. I love devrant. I love to code.
Chalo(is about the same as saying,"I'm out"), Good Night peeps 😴.I'm high on sleep.
P.S. didn't proof read the above because high on sleep2 -
A recursive function walks into a bar and says to the bartender,”A recursive function walks into a bar and says to the bartender,”A recursive function walks into a bar and says to the bartender…..3
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When some one says Control+alt+delete
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It's *alternative*. Freaking *alternative*.1 -
du says i have 2g free space
df says it's just 20m
and according to lsof, i have no deleted open files
i am doomed
- my hdd5 -
The sub title says “programming language” yet the description says “markup language” get yo shit together google
21 -
!rant
OMG jeahhh!!!
If my boss says yes, I can participate in an "Hackathon" this month in Bonn, Germany! WUHU
(In my department we don't do any programming so I hope he says yes ❤️)5 -
macOS' Finder says I have 24 files and directories in my home directory. 'ls -lah | wc -l' says I have 172. That's a lot to keep hidden from me. :)2
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Oh btw, i forgot to tell you guys, our college still teaches us to code, using turbo c++ emulators. 😶. WHAT THE FUCK 😑😤🤬. 😣. Makes me sick🤮.
P. S. I was going to censor the vulgar words but we don't need to on devrant. Yesh😌!!!!2 -
An optimist says: "the glass is half full."
A pessimist says: "the glass is half empty."
A programmer says: "the glass is twice as large as necessary."10 -
So i left 5 tabs running on my laptop with arch linux till morning ( Two of the tabs were a YouTube video).
The battery only drained like 3 % 😦.
If were running windows on the same machine, it would have drained to 0 🤯8 -
My Uni ->
- Uses Vista Business Edition on all the PCs
- A man installs the window on each PC using a CD, if anything goes wrong. We have like 500 PCs 😳.
- We are taught to code on TurboC emulators
- Still teach us HTML3
BTW fee for the reserved category (people who are considered low caste) : 19.95$/per year including lodging5 -
!dev
I paint as a hobby and i think I'll go the github way and relabel the black colors as nightly 🤔 and whites as salt 😃 (!?).
Sorry, don't mean to be a racist, i practically didn't differentiate between people based untill i was told in school that we should not differentiate based on color or race 🤣. Everyone was just a human before those lessons.3 -
Kazakhstan Government issues certificates for MITM attacks on the public. WTF !!!
https://devrant.com/rants/2187760/...4 -
AppStore says "We're working hard on getting all the 🐛s squashed so please bear with us."
I says "WHAT 🐛s?!" devRant is the 💣1 -
That moment that your teacher says she'll teach you php and in the she says she will not teach you php and your project has to be a website made in WordPress...1
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Its funny when your code is tested by your peers and they approve it and it works...and when you present your progress to your PO he says it doesnt work...hmmmmm1
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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." -
Considering making a plugin for my test running just for this gif:
Would make failures more interesting
3 -
Can the subscript of an array be a floating point number ?
i know, i know, i can find answers on google and i found one on quora but i want you guys to help me 🤗 in the comments10 -
Do we have to buy pets for each gender change of the Avatar ?
Case in point:
I bought a cat when the gender of my Avatar was female and now on changing it to male i need to rebuy the cat ☹️.
Should i repot a bug on GitHub ?17 -
My planning says i’m working on project A and B this week. Scrummaster (who also makes the planning) says i’m working on project C and D.
So much for the reliability of planning here. -
i don't know how is apple a trillion dollar company. even it's chat support needs a support system. i had to chat to a human and all he did was forward my request 😭. Apple is going to lag so far behind in Ai, I'm telling ya. Suck a waste of time.1
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I was watching a YouTube video about c++ and the guy used player{1...n} in a game as an example for objects of a class Player.
That was A-ha for me 😅.
I never got that in grade school when teachers used fruits and animals as examples 😂.2 -
So i got a ps4 a few days ago and i started with the nathan drake collection.
Now i want to design the levels 😂. The buildings, the scenes are just 😍.
Also, https://youtu.be/k70_jvVOcG0 🤯3 -
Finally got 'em 😵😵😵. They are so good 😊. Now everyone who sees the laptop will ask about devrant 🙃.
Reached me after 15 days they were posted from the USA 😊.
Thanks @dfox and @trogus 😍.
2 -
paying for windows is shit. I've a PC which i keep updated. it has corrupted the drives like 2 times in 3 years and the motherboard replaced twice cuz' the fucking BIOS update didn't take. I've a pirated windows 7 running on a PC that was bought in 2012, still no issues in 11 years. 11 fucking. Just lost 2 weeks of work 🥲.2
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I have a Lenovo IdeaPad 330s and it shows the battery percentage remaining when we press any key on the keyboard while the laptop is switched off. This is a really handy feature. Does anyone know how it is implemented or how could it be implemented (on other laptops) ?
Don't just ++, favorite this post, pin it (so, you can comment on it if you find the way later) and please, mention it in the comments if you know it.4 -
Share an action says add more people to test your actions.
And also it says once the user has opened the link shared, they can start.
But on the Assistant app on mobile, I can't find my app. Anyone into this?
6 -
What someone says or thinks about you says nothing about you. What YOU yourself say or think about yourself says nothing about you.
A man is a sum of their actions, nothing more and nothing less. Consequences of those actions will be here and affect the world long after you're dead and buried.
So, if someone disrespects you in the comment section, it doesn't mean you deserve/attract disrespect. Same goes for your workplace.9 -
I hadn't browsed devrant for about 24 hours and i kept feeling that I was missing something. The moment I read a few posts, it felt like I was complete again 😅. Am I sick?
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1. I wish for a timestopers watch that wouldn't let you age.
2. I wish my pocket always had exact change for what i wanted to buy.
3. I wish i wouldn't have to explain what i do for a living. -
Enlightenment did happen, but it would be a reach to call a little rich Italian hipsters’ literature fad a “worldwide phenomenon”.
When we emerged as a species, all we had was tools and fear. Nothing has changed. Our progress in tools did fix suffering somewhat, but it couldn’t fix fear.
Fear is what makes one person attack the other, from a pub scuffle to launching nukes. It’s all the same, isn’t it. If I don’t strike now, they’ll strike first.
Losing an argument says nothing about you. Someone yelling at you while you stay silent says nothing about you. Being rejected says nothing about you. Being ghosted says nothing about you. Being betrayed says nothing about you. Even obeying your boss says nothing about you.
There is no need to compensate. You have the power to turn your “yes” into “no” swiftly and confidently whenever you want to. -
when one tool says your site is 200 from chinese IPs, but another says its 403 for the same IPs...
which one is it? -
So, got my first ssd. It's so freaking light 😳. I hope it's not just the outer casing without the internal PCB 🤪.
No, i wasn't living without an ssd. It's just to revive my 5 year old laptop 😅
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