Dude! We have toilets on each floor. Why do you push shit on git?

Windows USB
(Credit : 9gag)

Never let customers define the priority levels. It will end in:
- Normal (never used)
- High (used for small text changes)
- Higher
- OMG fix now
- Highest
- the World is ending if this doesn't get fixed now
- different existential plane of priority
- Priority ∞ + 1

Our dev team got a new manager. On our first face 2 face meeting:

Manager: So, what technology are we using for web apps?
Me: TypeScript.
Manager: What is TypeScript?
Me: It's a superset of JavaScript.
Manager: Oh I know JavaScript, it's the latest version of Java, right?
Me thinking: He is joking. He tries to be the fun guy. Everyone knows the Java-JavaScript, ham-hamster joke.
Me later, also thinking: No he is not joking. Oh God, this is the end. We are all f*cked!

Words of wisdom (WOW) !!

That feeling...

browsing application source, found this beauty of a method 😶

I got a raise 😊

FUCK!! It's been 3 days in the new office.
Can't find a single to rant about.
Why is everyone is so fucking nice??

Deleted a failed test instead of fixing it.

Laughed more than I'd like to admit tbh

My girlfriend sent me this error message from a BIM software which she uses at work. I would like to see more sophisticated error messages from a software with a 4K price tag.

"So what got you in to development and programming?"

Me: well. I needed something to new to help with my depression, stress and anger.

"Oh cool. Did it help?"

Me: yes... They're so much stronger now.

Color jokes

To new beginnings

Chrome is so selfish

Oh yeah. Hey guys. 2 things.
First off. Forgot to say. Officially got a job. Finally. So thank you for all the help/advice and patience with my depressive rants!!

I'm in a new chapter of my life now so thanks.

And secondly.

I FUCKING HATE MY JOB

Me: *clicks sign out*

Yahoo: "Are you sure you want to sign out?"

Me: DID I FUCKING STUTTER!?

Johnny, Johnny, you are a bad kid!
source: reddit

Babushka prefers dark theme.

When your pc assigns you a Side Quest—I shall not fail you.

Website Intro: Hello! I'm here to tell you how my life changed since I learned to build websites and became independent blah blah blah

Me: Cool. One sec.

*scrolls down*

Footer: Proudly powered by WordPress. Get the theme here!

Me: Bruh... No.

// FIXME

*We colleagues were cursing Valentine's week*

Team Lead : Committed?
Me: No, I am single.
TL: *confused look* Did you committed that code?
Me: ohh yes! I raised the merge request as well.
TL: Ok. I will review it. *Moves away smiling inside*
Me: *looking at screen* *crying inside*

When your colleague, who wrote the API is on vacation, the documentation is non-existent and you are tired from reading all-day long his spaghetti code, so you are just waiting for him to show up.

Project manager: how was the day?
Me: wrote a few lines of code
Me: ran the code
Me: full of errors
Me: I cried

Not a rant, just awesomeness:
At my company our CTO organizes a meeting every month that gives us devs a chance to present new technologies to each other, offer advice about workflows and give feedback about current situations. This allows us to constantly improve.
Thanks boss!

Manager: you can leave earlier today
Me:

The first dev in it's natural habitat.

How I feel when I need to switch back from a TypeScript to a plain JavaScript project.

I write code,
I am a writer.
I fight with bugs,
I am a fighter.
I optimise code,
to make it tighter.

I'm torn between telling my co-workers about devRant or not telling them so I can rant about work.

"Windows can't update because you don't have enough disk space"

HOW ABOUT YOU STOP FUCKING POPPING UP A GIANT UNFUCKOFFABLE OVERLAY IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VIDYA GAMES FOR THE 10000th TIME?

I fucking know I have no disk space, if you complain one more fucking time, I'll make disk space -- by deleting you.

(I'm joking, linux/mac game support is so fucking trash)

Sometimes I really don't like meetings. Because I'm an introvert.

Noisy collegues. Also the people who come to talk anytime.

throw laugh;

My 8 year old brother started attending a robotics class a few days ago. He already loves it. I'm a proud big sister 😊
(And I'm already planning on how to start teaching him programming.)

Is it just me or is stack overflow full of dicks?

Today was 39 Celsius again....

This time I fucking wore shorts.

I definitely had the sexiest legs in the office.

I may have started a trend again.

true af

Every single time...

Waiting on page break....

Ok yeahhh it’s not me.

Just got told I didn’t pass an interview that lasted 15 minutes with him talking about the company and no questions for me.

My interviewers lately have just been unfortunate

When a programmer casts a spell...

This. Also. Applies. To. The. Devs.

I find the lack of no pants option in the avatar builder disappointing.

Most of my code solutions came to me while I'm in the shower
🚽🚽

My mother is so ashamed of me.
she tells everybody that I'm a Drug dealer.

PHP Developer here.

Ayy. Finally hit the 1000++ point. Now I can get the shirt that I literally have 5 of irl for my avatar

Getting older means attending more meetings.

Why the fuck someone write "used linux to speed up development" in your resume. But when you have to use it, questions like "where to download git for linux?" appears?

I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!

SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡

No one is safe when I hit a wall... Not even my best friends.

Our team is expanding and our boss hired an agency to find candidates. Today a headhunter on linkedin just offered me this position. Dafuq, at least they could check if I'm not working there on the same position.

Using Sololearn: feel like a pro.
Open Devrant: feel like a noob.

Shut Up Dirty Mind! I am learning React Native.

Dont get attached to your code at work! Coz it's not your code, you got paid for writing that code and that's it.

I loved Java very much..
Then i started using it.

When you are in a hurry to make payment .. and some fucker has done this.

Wow. Such comment. Much useful.

Today I'm having my first interview as an interviewer. I'm so nervous right now.

Expecting your client to be nice with you just because you are nice to them is like expecting lion not to eat you, because you don't eat lions.

Height of Confidence.

At last got mine! Thanks Devrant!

In Germany some say
"killer games make one agressive".
Those have never developed for Magento.

My work desktop setup!

Follow me on @cha_m_ra

Found online
Found kinda funny

Finally my fidget cube arrived

Hello (World)! Noob here. I installed devRant around 5 days ago. I just keep reading the rants and didn't created my account because i was not sure if i will stay here for long time coz most (cr-)apps are boring.

After 5 days:
I owe all of you a tons of '++'.

I want a boss like @Linux have. (i know tags work only in comments)

Gonna stay here till i stay in IT industry.(maybe)

Google DevFest Sri Lanka

This is really creepy. Yesterday I was talking to my parents about buying a Thermosteel flask. Today I opened Amazon and this is what I see.. (attached pic)
I am pretty sure, I didn't looked for it even on Google.
It may be co-incidence but still..

Any other noob coder here trying to gain the mindset of the pros, enjoy the environment although he doesn't get half the jokes and rants, and trying to fake it till he make it? (:^/)

Once I didn't knew anything about coding or development.
Someone suggested me to start with Java.

Still looking for that Mada-foker.

Every time I copy some code I feel like holding I'm something heavy till I past it somewhere!😋😋

When I tell my relatives that I'm a backend developer. Then the image they have in mind is...

I was depressed doing a course I hated.

3 years in and I switched to Computer Science.

Best decision ever!

Welp. That was fun.

Just had an interview I wasn't even expecting. Basically the company emailed me saying that the role has been filled and as such the interview has been canceled.

And I'm like ok. Thanks for letting me know.

Then at literally the same time someone sent me a skype request asking me if I'm ready.

I get another email saying they're sorry about the inconvenience and hope my front end interview goes well... like. Wtf.

Why didn't they specify which? And why wait so long ffs.

I had two interviews with them. They stood me up on the last one and i emailed and never heard back.

So now I just had the most awkward interview in my life.

I was so rattled I forgot the answer to a simple af question. What's a JavaScript closure.

I wanna cry but it was so bad I wanna laugh

Home desktop setup

Expectation vs. Reality

A while ago I found one of my old notes. It was from around two years ago. I had written down my programming long term goals and what I wanted to learn (more like a wishlist). While I was reading it, I realised that throughout these two years, without me being actually aware, I had learned all of it. It had been a slow progress but eventually not only had I reached it, but I had also surpassed it. It made me feel pretty good about myself. 😊

I learned how to write tests.

Don't you just love those "Aha!" moments?!

"A comment isn't needed if the name is good and the responsibility is clear" - M.Howell

"Sudo rm -rf / "ed my build server at work today... Died of laughter when i found out there was no snapshot.

We all had a good laugh. 😂😂😂

I believe Google knows me better than my parents because it has collected more data about me.

Now this is true. Devrant changed me and now, after one of the devranters post I'm finally searching for a new job. Most of the time I was using PHP, but here I've seen lot of rants about laravel. Now I'm building a website with it and going to change my job. Thank you Devrant creators and community.

I'm getting convinced that some areas are not teachable. You have to learn it by yourself. Databases (sql), for instance, the teacher never manages to get the class attention. Even I that consider myself a very interested guy can't handle 2 hours of his explanations. I tried to think in a better way he could teach the content but don't really think there is one ..Do you guys faced issues like that in school?

Instantly thought about new js framework name

Instruction unclear

When you run into your ex/visit your parents that thought you were wasting your life.

So I had an interview. Went well. But apparently while they liked me I didn't show passion for development.

Any tips on how to that? Cause like... I like it and all but who really can show passion for working for someone else.

Tips please. Or job opportunities!!!

Stack overflow was down..
I don't know why, but it developed some kind of respect for senior developers who don't had access to stack overflow in their time.

I need to sleep.
So tired.

After you make your 1st PR,
Gsoc is not far away! 😂

My #developer stater pack!

-Games (board games or video games)
-Coffee and other beverages
-Enough tech gadgets
But most important of all, love what you do.

Writing an if condition instead of properly handling it.

Var X1 = "" ;
Var X2 = "" ;
Var A = "" ;
Var A2 = 1;

...why. Just why ever name variables like that.

Found on FB

Okay,so just trying my first rant.
Anyone heard about Internet of Things?
Mind getting in touch and sharing your views?😬

Yeah I get what the intention was but like... why? I feel there are way better ways to do this

(Ps. I've become the pic post guy)

Me after debugging for 2 hours and fixing a semicolon error.

Finally moving to new job. From monolith PHP dev, to nodejs.

From this day onwards I'm following this technique

I've found a new love and her name is Ruby on rails

Fuck you apple, and fuck your god damn shitty documentation.

Working with NFC enabled passes, their documentation says "payload max is 64 bytes"

What they ACTUALLY fucking mean is 64 ascii characters.

Also, the way they handle date time formats is fucked. They say they support W3C formats (iso) but what they actually mean is, they support a half assed version of a subset of it.

I told their chief engineer over a phone call and his response;

"I agree, our documentation is lacking"... HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING UPDATE IT!

Also, how they handle json is just bad.

indent.py

If you didn't became a developer what would you be? What's your plan B?

Mine is to be a psychologist.

Sometimes I think that git is like a drug. After getting past the initial learning curve, you use it in every single one of your projects. Sometimes I wonder how have I ever survived without git before.

...I think. THINK. That I might have indeed spent too much time in front of the computer...

Work of a my co-workers good work! It's called colspan you dumb fuck! Best part is that no way I'm changing this coz I work in place where they don't give a fuck about code quality! So fuck it!

I don't like remote work.

So like... did every social media app meet up and go
"yo!
Ordering notifications and timelines chronologically in a way that makes sense?
Yeah mate, fuck it!"?

...cry.

If only.

Tbh. When I read about ruby and how it was meant to be as close to English as possible a little part of me was hoping for this

What if you were asked to develop something that goes against your morals or beliefs. Would you do it?

PS - they are willing to pay you more that you ask for

Why is it soooo taboo to ask co-workers salary?

2 years ago..

Me : How can i learn Java?
College Senior : Do some online courses.

*did a course for a month! Still not confident*

Me: it ain't working for me.
Senior: Do some project.

*Created an Android App under internship! Still not confident*

After wasting my 6 months on Java, i reached to the conclusion that: "Java Sucks" (at least for me)

No Offence!

Porn is Ok. I have to open incognito for my Dev Queries.

After years of misusing and abusing my eyes (e.g., pulling an unhealthy amount of all-nighters and spending almost every waking hour in front of a screen of some sort), I believe I am in need of glasses. Although I should go to an optometrist first.

Even though I have 500 reputation on StackOverflow I'm afraid to ask a question! Coz other devs can be really down right mean! No one knows everything, we are all here to learn. Some ppl don't understand that they too started like this.

Five interviews and challenges later and I’m told they won’t be going further with me.
Over month of my life. Finally thought this was the one. But oh well. Depression.

I officially quit being a dev.

It’s been rad y’all.

The floor is Not Getting Shit Done Before Deadline

I kno my strengths

Fml I need a job

Okay. Is there really anyone who wouldn't get this

Happiness, job satisfaction and mental stability.... we need that in the next patch

Changing framework or language. Especially if you've used the previous one for a long long time.

Passed a code test for once and invited to interview with engineers.

I’m nervous yet proud. Any tips? It’s the first time I’ve reached this point

When Human Teleportation?

An update on my rant about that interview I had.
They emailed saying they're sorry I didn't pass etc.

My literal response was: wow. Shocker. No shit I didn't pass 😂

Power cut at the office now I have to talk to my coworkers!!! 🙄😶😑

Have you had any money saved? What is your process when it comes to saving money? What kind of investments did you do with your savings?

When you got hired

HR: please come to us if there's any problems related work so that we can give a solution.

After years of working you send a mail with you problems, it's been months. Still no reply! And try to avoid conversation regarding that problem.

I miss my co-workers.

Tough decisions of life...

Baby all I want for Christmas is Uuuuuuuuu-I design that made sense while being cute.

Late I know. But I just thought of it.

Yesterday was a day off so I developed a vue, vuex , laravel application. Today back to work and start writing some shity code!

Day after Tomorrow will be my first day at my first job.

Any advice ??

I just delegated some of my more stressful and time consuming tasks to some other people on the team who were a lot less busier than me.
I feel so light and free.

When you apply HTML tags to the real world senario...

I am usually lurking in here since I never really worked as a Software Developer, but until I start going to the University, I thought I might also find myself a job in Software Development.

Well... I don't know where to start.

Someone in here heard of JBoss? Me neither... we're using it... It is a Framework to deploy fortified Java Web Applications. My first day was very chaotic and was dedicated to get this fucking shit to work. I got JBoss 7.5 from my colleagues and started deploying the hello world program...

So. Many. Things. Gone. Wrong...

After like 5 hours of troubleshooting, I had to install/setup a new wrapper with my own batch scripts, install SPECIFICALLY jdk 1.7_17 (anything else won't work) and downgrade JBoss to 7.2.

Yeah that's the first thing. Let's continue about JBoss. Version 7.2 uh? What's the newest one though? Oh it's now known as WildFly... huh... FUCKING HELL, THE NEWEST ONE IS VERSION 10.1??? AND EVEN 10.1 IS 1 YEAR OLD? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKK AAAAAAHH...

So yeah, after that, without any expectation, I had a look at our codebase. Unit tests huh? I couldn't find a single self written one to test the applications functions... I asked my fellow devs and they told me that "it is too time consuming and we have to focus on new features, the QM Team will just manually test the application". Ever heard this bullshit? A big fat ass codebase with shittons of customers and not a single unit test...

So last but not least, since it is a web application, it also got a site. Y'know RichFaces? The deprecated front end library for Java Webpages? Where you got like 150 Tables per page everyone with a random id everytime you reload? Yeah I don't think I have to explain that to you guys...

So now YOU tell me? Is this a place to be 😂😂😂

Again someone testing in Prod

බෑ බෑ මට වැඩ කරන්න බෑ

When your commit gets reverted without you knowing why :/

Ooh. Here's a "deep" one.

For the self thought/online learners, at what point did you consider yourself an "actual" developer and felt ready to go out and apply for jobs and stuff?

And what challenges/reactions did you face?

Our HR will contact you soon.

*gets banned from asking questions on stack overflow*

Yup. Seems about right.

Tbh it was time 😭

Did you ever take advantage of clients that has less computer literacy? Like have you ever escape a bug in the system by telling the client heavy technical BS! 😋

PS - fixings that bug later obviously!!

I NEED A JOB

Servers down. I'm bored...

It took me putting on my glasses to make sure these pixels were real and not just blind ass not seeing shit.

How do you manage your relationship with you partner and work like?

Anyone know small-medium companies hiring front end devs around the eu?

Or any recruiters with a soul?

React btw. Thanks.

Why yes. This is a last resort. Thanks for noticing/criticizing

Why do I find really hard to connect with my coworkers?! I'm an introvert but after few months in my old job I connected with everyone. In my new job I find it really hard! And it's almost a year! 😥😫

The moment when your website works in every modern browser but not in IE 7 and downwards but the QM want you to make it work in IE :/

Bed to desk, desk to bed

Commit small and related changes.

Hello fellow devs, how do you clear your mind when you cant make something work? I think most of you had this feeling like 'fuck that, creating from beggining will be easier'

- become a system administrator (I am in final year rn )

- write a book (fiction)

I only just started learning Js. And it's going smoothly. In two weeks, I should have gone past the Beginner's level. Then what next?

Anyone else like... REALLY bad at algorithms and logic stuff?

I just hate them so much.

Tell me to build something and gg done. But all these tests for jobs freak me out.

Like. It probably ends up being something simple and when it's explained I know what to do but at first I just instantly shut down and can't think.

I remember the era when the first suggestion to every problem was:

REBOOT THE SYSTEM

*last call POST Breakup*

She : make a PROMISE, no CALLBACK!

Me: Got it.

*That's how it started*

I asked for a front end developer not fucking project manager!

These fuckin morons piss on the toilet seats. They should get potty training also. Chutiye Saale!

I keep posting that I need job and I appreciate the feedback but I feel just saying that makes it seem like I'm not trying.

Like. I legit don't know. Could it be my cv that's a dud? Thinking of paying a resume writing thing

Cause I'm actually trying hard af to learn new stuff as well keep doing what I'm good at.

I got one interview in a year and even then they didn't gimme the chance to show tech side. It's soo tilting.

I'm actually competent though inexperienced I think.

Any advice or questions please. I legit need to sort this out this year. Like its very important that I do.

Help.

What if programming languages are only available commercially?

I left my previous job being disgruntled over insane hours and being underpayed.

Took a 3 month break, whilst shotgun blasting my CV and Resume at places. A few stuck. I chose the one that had the best passion to pay ratio.

Just feel like going to a raised platform over my town and scream, "AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!!!"

so i just realised my stack overflow ban came after less than 10 questions in total...

how dumb am i exactly??? man’s got real questions to ask now

working against a database over a bugged VPN connection, which gives you periodically timeouts, after the request takes 15 minutes 😑

(Not sure if this is a rant.)
My mom got a Surface Pro a few days ago. I'm kinda happy because she'll be using more tech stuff. I mean, she used to do most of her work on her phone or on plain paper. Maybe she'll warm up towards using a laptop and maybe I can slowly introduce her to Linux. 🤔
Any suggestions for a Linux distro for a complete newbie?

Well, this is not my cup of tea..

Finally successfully installed Ubuntu!!!!

You don't! Working for a bad company would ultimately give you the experience you need that a good company wouldn't

One of the most important things I learned from a mentor was to know when to give up.

Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?

If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep

When I have to be responsible for shit that others do.

There's nothing annoys me more that seeing un-indented code. I think I have code OCD

If my eyes aren't hurting from endless hours of debugging or coding, I'll read a book. If they are sore, I'll listen to music. In both conditions, a coffee is needed too.

I feel like front end guys and gals are basically the folks that make the back end guys and gals look good for the boss. Not in a straight dev shop, but when your boss thinks html is a programming language...

This is like - drinking a glass of water after every beer, to cut the amount of consumed alcohol by half.

It is pretty much useless...

Can we all just combine side projects/help each other and get them all done?

I've recently moved from google to duckduckgo for my searches, Having in mind the growing concern of user privacy, what do you guys suggest for search engines, browsers, os, recommended addons, apps, vpns etc?

I’m always tired all the time. Depression and what not but today I am TIRED

Had an interview that requires vanilla javascript but I suck at algos even tho I was getting it done till time ran out. We gelled tho so I hope they see potential and move to next round.

But the good news is. I had a follow up interview based on a challenge. It’s the second I’ve ever had and I did well this time.
So much so that they’re booking another interview for tomorrow.
So I’m done with the technical portions of the process.
This is the first time I’ve gotten this far and I’m so happy. I’m hoping really that this is the one cause I doubt I have the energy and will power to keep going though the processes.

I’m so excited. It’s as if all my work is slowly showing and I’m getting closer and closer

Wish me luck guys. Hopefully I ace it as I come across well In General Chats.

This is my last application. If it doesn’t work I think I’m done with dev life and job hunt.

Fingers crossed I’ve found the one

Was trying to pull an all nighter to meet a deadline and I accidentally fell asleep. I was also texting a new person I liked at the same time.

Dreamt I got so much work done and was still texting and got into an argument.

Woke up, but by the time I realized what happened and that I slept off I had already randomly texted something aggressive and insulted 😭

So yeah. Guess who got no work done and is probably gonna be single for life 😂

Just one word: OCD

How do people make clones without tutorials!? 😭😭

I'm tryna clone bleacher report but have no clue where to start cause they're no guides anywhere

No better way to start a weekend than with a shit show of an interview on a Friday morning

idk why, but why focus so much on internal stuff that never will be public...this is also my favorite quote

Sighhhhhh.
SIGHHHHHH.
been looking for days now and can’t still figure out how to sort with redux.

Can someone just teach me this? I’m starting to feel “special”

copying field data from one table to another,

wondering why the execution takes so long,

since your copying only data from three rows,

realising you forgot the WHERE clause in the SQL while working on a live database and overwriting all data with the last statement 😨

A lot of people have already said it but I'm gonna say it again: Javascript. I think that we will be able to code everything in JS, in addition to its native language.

Mine was at my school when I was 13 or 15. I didn't have a computer at home because my parents could not offered a one. Back then I didn't know any thing about computers but always knew that I wanted to do something related to computers.

So, when I went to the computer lab in my school I was so dumb, I couldn't even click on a button using the mouse. We were partnered up two students per computer and me try so hard use a computer and my partner take over and show off his talent how he can use a computer.

I was sad and devastated even though I love computer I couldn't use a computer but my willingness to learn about computers science never faded a away!

Few years fast forward; I'm a web developer and I'm happy with what I do. The fellow student who showed off still contact me for his trouble shootings regarding computers.

Never give up on you dreams

Age+=1

First time, I am this far from home on my B'day. But atleast I am with my friends and these fuckers wrote "Antarvasna writer" on my cake.